And Suddenly, I'm Fluttershy

Trials and Tribulations

Bartholomew

My mind was a blur at that point. Under arrest? For what? What could I have poss... Right, I said that I thought their rule wasn't divine. And here I was thinking that they were mostly benevolent. Brilliant.

I figured that I was screwed either way, why not find out what I was arrest for?

"On what charges?" I asked.

"Magical Ponyslaughter and Impersonation of a Noble."

Oh yeah, there was the fact that I was in someone else's body. Someone rather important, at that. Here I was thinking treason.

"Do you have evidence to back up these... ludicrous claims?"

"You're coming with me."

Pinkie trotted out.

"Oh, hello mister guard!"

"Lady Pie! Has this imposter done anything to harm you?"

"Imposter? Fluttershy, is this true? Or should I say... I don't know your real name, actually!" I stared at Pinkie.

"Bartholomew. And yes, this is true," I eventually replied.

"A confession! Take her away!" said one of the other guards.

"Wait! It was unintentional!" I said.

"Tell it to the judge. Which, incidentally, is royalty, and is also in Ponyville," said the guard.

Lovely, royalty. Just what I needed, one of the fellows whose regime I criticized. Open mouth, insert foot. Or hoof, in this case.

I trotted to Ponyville, four guards around me, watching my every move. Pinkie was also trotting besides us, chatting the whole time.

"And then I said, 'Oatmeal? Are you crazy!?'" she began laughing.

"Fascinating," said one of the (clearly annoyed) guards.

"I know right? Hey Bartholomew?" she said.

"What?"

"Do you like cupcakes?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good, because I was thinking about planning a 'Monster has Impersonated Fluttershy' party before..." on and on she went. It was worse than the lady last night. If you combined that volume with Pinkie's rambling, you could probably take over the world. I thought about that for a minute.

Pinkie, if I ever get out of jail, we are going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

I laughed uproariously.

"What's so funny, prisoner?" asked one of the guards.

I began to sing;

"We're Pinkie and The Brain

Yes, Pinkie and The Brain

And we're both cer-ti

Fi-a-bly insane.

We're technicolor ponies,

But one of us is a phony.

We're dinky

We're Pinkie and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Brain."

Pinkie began to sing;

"Before each night is done

Our plan will be unfurled

By the dawning of the sun

We'll take over the world."

The guards started;

"They're Pinkie and The Brain

Yes, Pinkie and The Brain

Their twilight campaign

Is easy to explain.

To prove their pony worth

They'll overthrow the Earth

They're dinky

They're Pinkie and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain"

As we walked through the town, more and more ponies gathered to watch our musical precession.

We finished just as we reached the town square. Really, it was more of a circle, but... Stop it brain!

"Narf!" shouted Pinkie, "That was fun!"

"I have no idea what just happened," I said.

"Come along prisoner!" said a guard, pushing me forward.

I had another terrible, brilliant idea.

"Come we the violence inherent in the system! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

"Quiet!"

"Oh what a giveaway! You saw that, didn't you? Did you see him repressing me? You saw him repressing me!"

"Shut up!" yelled a guard.

I protested until we stopped before the town hall. There was a stage there, with three ponies standing on it, one ordinary pony, and two Alicorns. The ordinary pony had a light brown coat and a grey mane. One of the Alicorns was white, with a wavy pastel-colored mane. The other I recognized. Again, I felt the urge to bow, and urge that everyone except me acted on.

"Bow down, prisoner!" said one of the guards.

I ignored him and spoke, "Hey! You're the pony from my dream! What are you doing here?"

The white one spoke up, "Greetings Ponyville! If you're wondering what we are doing here, a creature has taken over Fluttershy's body. We are here to stand trial on the charges of Magical Ponyslaughter, Impersonation of a Noble, and possibly Mind Rape. How does the defendant plead?"

I needed to think here. If I plead guilty, I'd probably be executed. If I plead innocent, however, I'd likely lose and still be killed. This wasnt looking good. I really was guilty, at least of Impersonation, although it wasn't my fault. How does on plead that way... Wait a minute, shouldn't I be receiving legal aid?

"I protest this trial!"

The crowd gasped in unison. How did they do that?

"Why?" asked the white Alicorn.

"Firstly, the defendant is to be convicted only by a jury of their peers, in a fair and equal trial. Secondly, I am entitled legal aid. Thirdly, while I do admit that I am an imposter, I didn't want to take over someone else's body. This came at a complete surprise at an inappropriate time, and quite frankly, I just want to go home."

There were murmurings in the crowd at this.

The blue Alicorn spoke up, "What makest thou think that thou art entitled to legal aid?"

"That's just how we do things were I come from. By the way, I didn't catch your name last night."

"We art Luna."

"Alright then, Luna, why am I being tried for crimes that I did not commit? I would like to change my charges to Involuntary Magical Manslaughter."

"What is this 'Manslaughter' thou speakest of?"

"Sorry, 'Ponyslaughter'."

The white Alicorn spoke up, "Where do you come from where you recieve legal aid?"

"We think that we can answer this, sister, she said that she was from a land know as 'Texas'."

"I've never heard of anywhere named Texas."

I began to walk to the stage.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked a guard.

"To the stage."

"Not on my-"

"Guards, stand down. She may come to the stage."

"Thank you," I said, walking over to the podium. "Hello Ponyville!"

I turned to the Alicorns, "Is it alright if I tell my story?"

"Yes," said the white one.

"Good morning. I would like to tell you my side of the story. As you probably heard earlier, I did not wish to take over someone's body. In fact, this entire circumstance is coincidental."

"How so?" asked one of the ponies in the crowd.

I related the story of my awakening in Equestria.

"Twilight, is this true?" said the white Alicorn, turning to the crowd.

Standing there were Twilight, Pinkie, and three other ponies that I didn't recognize.

"What I know of it, yes, princess."

"Wait, you two are the rulers of this nation?" I asked.

"Yes, we are," replied the white one.

"So you're," I paused for a moment, "Celestia, right?"

"Yes."

"Is it true that you raise the sun?"

This was it, the moment of reckoning. If she confessed that she didn't, I could overthrow the tyrant. If she said that she did, I could interrogate her.

"Yes."

"No," I said.

"What is it?"

"The sun doesn't need raising! It's a ball of gas millions of miles away!"

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is! My people have been to space! Have you... ponies ever been into space?!"

Luna stepped in. "Yes," she replied dejectedly.

This threw me for a loop.

"What?"

"We said yes."

The crowd was silent. It was as if Death itself had appeared in its midst. I looked to Luna again. Small, barely perceptible tears formed in her eyes.

I turned back to the crowd.

"What?"

"Twi? Do you mind if I take care of this poser?" asked one of the ponies next to Twilight.

(S)he (I wasn't sure which)  was quite a sight too. She had a cyan coat and, you'll never guess, a rainbow mane. I'm completely serious, her mane was a FREAKING RAINBOW. How was that even possible? Only then, did I realize that she was going to attack me.

"No, Rainbow, don't," said Luna.

I turned back to Luna. "Was it something I said?"

"You really don't know?" asked Celestia.

"Not from around here, remember? And why is everyone staring at me?"

She explained;

"Over a thousand years ago, my sister attempted to seize the throne for herself. Equestria is a Diarchy, we have traditionally always had two rulers.

"I command the sun and she commands the moon. She grew jealous because the ponies loved the day, but slept through her night."

"Sister, let us tell it," said Luna.

"We let our jealousy fester until one day it burst. On that day, we became Nightmare Moon.

"We attacked the old palace in the Everfree, and attepted to overthrow our sister. She was forced to use the Elements of Harmony, six relics that contain unknown power, to banish us to the moon for a thousand years."

Celestia continued, "Since that day, I have been unable to harness the Elements."

I thought on this for a moment. Not only were they both thousands of years old, one of them had been trapped on the moon for a millennium. That doesn't make any sense, even a few days of complete isolation could drive a man crazy. Not only that, but Luna was standing here before me.

"How did you get back?"

Luna continued, "Like we said, we were gone for a thousand years. That time span recently ended, and we attempted once again to create eternal night.

"As our sister said, she was unable to use the Elements, which meant that we were unstoppable."

Celestia and Luna looked into my eyes, and me into theirs. In both, I saw a deep sorrow, untainted by the millennium. I saw their souls, and I saw there, embedded in their memories, images of the war. A war in which thousands died needlessly, brother fighting brother, sister fighting sister. And I understood. As you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

I stood there, dumbfounded by what I saw.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

That was all I could say.

She continued, "But all was not lost. Just as our victory was certain, six extraordinary mares," she turned to Twilight and the ponies beside her, "harnessed the Elements, and reverted us back to our old form."

A happy ending. Good. But why did I feel so cold? So, so cold. It wasn't the air around me now. It was my soul. So, so cold...

I shook it off. Something didn't add up. I turned to Twilight and the ponied beside her.

"There's a problem with your story. There's only five mares there."

I turned back to her and looked into her eyes again. Those cold eyes. So, so cold.

For the second time, I understood. I saw six mares there, a burst of rainbow. I took a close look at those six mares. I could summon only one word;

"No."