And Suddenly, I'm Fluttershy

Immediate Aftermath

Bartholomew

"No. No. NoNoNoNo, NO!!!"

"Yes," answered Luna.

"You mean to tell me that I am inhabiting one of the most powerful beings in existence?"

"Yes."

I sat there stunned. How could this possibly get any worse? If anything happened, the Elements would be out of commission, and it would be my fault.

"I've a question," I said.

"What is it?" asked Celestia.

"Why haven't I been executed?"

"Because if what you say is true, then you are innocent."

"I could be lying."

"But you aren't."

"How do you know that?"

"I do."

There was a tense silence for a few seconds.

"I've another question."

"What is it?"

"Are you two divine?"

Seconds ticked into minutes before she answered.

"You already know."

I stared into her eyes again. I shuddered.

"There is your answer," she said.

"Vala, then?"

"Ohh, that's a good one! I've never thought about it that way before!" Pinkie shouted.

Everyone stared at her.

"Well it is."

"What was that...?" I asked.

"That's just Pinkie bein' Pinkie," said an orange mare next to her. She had a bit of an accent, too. Reminded me of my grandfather. He was a bit of a hick.

I turned back to the princesses, "Well, I've... Things to get back to. The animals are probably quite worried at my absence"

I turned to go.

"Wait!" shouted Luna.

"What?" I asked, turning back to face her.

"What is thy name?"

"Bartholomew."

I turned to go again.

"Wait!" shouted Pinkie.

"What now? I was trying to make a dramatic exit!" I exclaimed, highly annoyed.

"Do you like chocolate or vanilla cupcakes?"

"Chocolate."

"What is your favorite color?"

"Blue, dark, but not navy."

"What is the airspeed velo-?"

I started laughing.

"What is it?" asked Celestia.

"Nothing, nothing at all."

I turned to leave again.

"Wait, Bartholomew. Were you a pony in your previous life?" Celestia asked me.

"No."

"What were you?"

"Human."

"IN YOUR FACE, BON-BON!!!" came a shout from the crowd.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Probably Lyra," Twilight answered, "She has an obsession with aliens."

"Does she now? I'll have to speak to her later. In the meantime, I've animals to attend to. Good day, Ponyville."

With that, I went back to the cottage.