And Suddenly, I'm Fluttershy

Lyra

Bartholomew

I trotted back to the cottage rather quickly, it had been a long arduous, and most importantly, confusing morning. Needless to say, it was about to get worse.

I saw a mint-green unicorn sitting on a bench by the path, playing a, er... Lyre. That's what it's called.

As I trotted past, she lifted her head.

"Are you Fluttershy?" she asked me.

I stopped in my tracks. From what little I knew of Ponyville, it seemed like a small town. Gossip carries quickly in such environments, plus around half of the citizens were at the "trial".

"Yes," I replied tentatively.

She stopped playing her lyre and set it beside her on the bench.

"I heard that you were an alien."

"Where would you have heard that?"

"The trial."

That made sense. Kind of. Whoever she was, she must have left before I did.

"Are you going anywhere with this, Miss..."

"Heartstrings. Lyra Heartstrings. And yes, I am."

"Good, I've been meaning to speak to you about that outburst at the trial."

"Why don't I walk with you?" she asked, picking up her lyre with telekinesis and placing it in one of her saddlebags..

We trotted along the path for a few minutes.

"How was your old life?" she asked me.

"It was," I paused for a moment before continuing, "I was a student back on my world, studying neuroscience. My brother was recently engaged..."

I turned to her, and saw something odd. She had pulled out a clipboard and pen from her saddlebag, and was taking notes!

"Care to tell me why you're taking notes?" I asked her.

"You're the first known alien to set hoof on the planet. You probably have many things to teach us."

"Like what?"

"What are humans like?"

That was I question that I've been trying to figure out for years. That's why I got into psychology, specifically to find out. Needless to say, I'm no closer to the answer than I was when I started. Time for some wit.

"Tell me what ponies are like, and I will give you your answer."

"Humans are witty," she muttered to herself as she scribbled on her notepad. "Who are your leaders?"

"There are far too many to name. The current American president is a man named Barack Obama."

"Is American President the title of your ruler?"

"As in absolute ruler? No, but he is currently the single most powerful man in the nation, and possibly the world."

"What other countries are there?"

"There are over 150 countries, even more if you count micro-nations and unrecognized governments."

"That's a lot of countries!"

"Yes, more so than I can think to name."

"What are the more important ones, then?"

"America, of course, as well as China, Japan, Canada, the UK..."

"UK?"

"It's an acronym, it stands for United Kingdom."

"Kingdom of what?"

"Officially, the country is known as the 'United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland', but most people call it the UK or England."

"England?"

"England is one of the three nations of Great Britain."

"What are the other two?"

"Scotland and Wales, but hardly anyone remembers Wales these days."

"Do whales live in Wales?"

I burst out laughing at the thought. Whales living in Wales? That is just too funny.

"What is it?" she asked, "Was it something I said?"

"Whales living in Wales! That's just plain hilarious!"

"If whales don't live in Wales, then what do?"

"Humans, of course, what else would live in Wales?"

"Wait, there are two human nations?"

I stopped walking. Two human nations? This mare is... Wait, is there only one pony nation?

"They are all human nations."

"Over one hundred human nations? That doesn't make any sense!"

"What do you mean, 'doesn't make sense?"

"How many races do humans have?"

"Between seven and ten, by my count."

"What happened?"

"What do you mean, what happened?"

"To fracture humanity so much?"

"Fracture? It's difficult to fracture a society that was never united."

"What?!?"

"Could you stop yelling in my ear? I don't want to go deaf."

"You're telling me that humans have never been united?"

"No. The closest we've come is probably the old British Empire, which spanned five or six continents, depending on if they had territory in South America. I can't remember. But even then they had enemies. France was probably their biggest rival, but there were others; Spain, Italy, Prussia, Russia, Austria, Germany, and of course, the US."

"What's a US?"

"Oh, America."

"Why does it have two names?"

"It's another mouthful. The full name of the country is the United States of America."

She sighed in frustration,"Why is human culture so complicated?"

"Lass, there is no such thing as 'human culture'. Whoever told you that nonsense is wrong."

She hung her head a bit before perking up.

"Do humans have music?"

"Far too many genres than I can remember."

"Do you know anything about it?"

"I know some of the history, and I can read music better than most, but I can't play an instrument."

"Tell me some of the history, then."

The cottage came in sight. Perfect, I could get away from the inquisitive mare.

"Actually, we're almost to the cottage now, and I haven't had breakfast yet."

"Whaddaya know, I haven't either! Why don't we continue this over some food?"

"Only if your cooking, I can't feed two ponies and all the animals so easily."

"I can make scrambled eggs."

I thought on that for a moment.

"Good enough for me."