Chapters Chapter 1
Twilight sat rapt as she listened to Starswhirl the Bearded's lecture about teleportation but couldn't shake the feeling something was off, nor could she get the incessant beeping sound out of her head. She started to focus on the beeping more as slowly the room faded along with the lecturer's voice. As things began to swim in her head she felt herself blink a few times before her head was split with an ear shattering squeal and she saw a rainbow streak fly through a door at the far end of the room she found herself waking in. The first thing she noticed was that she couldn't talk and there was something in her mouth, the second was that the beeping sound next to her was a heart monitor.
Moments later a nurse appeared, “Miss Sparkle, I am so glad to see you're awake, please hold a second while I take out the endotracheal tube.” As she began to work on taking it out and checking her over, Twilight remembered her name after some careful thought.
“Nurse Redheart, what's going on? Why am I in the hospital?” Each question was was met by the same answer, “Wait for Miss Dash to return and she will answer your questions.”
As Nurse Redheart left Rainbow Dash came in and sat next to Twilight and placing a hoof on Twilight's hoof. “How do you feel Twi? Do you remember anything at all about why you're here?”
“Not really Rainbow, care to enlighten me as to what led to me waking up in a hospital? And how long I have been out for that matter?”
“Twi...” Rainbows lip quivered a bit, “there was a lab accident and...” Rainbow slowed as she saw Twilight's eyes grow larger, “you, me and Applejack were caught in it, I, being the amazing and awesome pony I am, recovered the quickest.”
“Okay, how is everyone else? Are they here in the hospital too? How long have I been here, and why do you look so different?” She was referring to the fact that Rainbow Dash seemed slightly taller and more well built, like a pony who had been working on a farm for a while. “Do you think you could go and get everyone else so I can see them and talk with them a bit?”
Rainbow chewed her lower lip as though in thought for a second before telling Twilight, “Twi, you have umm been out for a while and the others are off in -umm- Canterlot, yea that's I they're in Canterlot, with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for hearts and hooves day.”
“Hearts and Hooves day, but that was...” Twilight trailed off for a second, “Dash how long have I been here? Because Hearts and Hooves day should have been last week and if it's tomorrow then I must have been here in this bed for at least a year, Dash please, how long I have been in the hospital?” Rainbow fidgeted as she felt twilight's stare but couldn't bring herself to tell her that it had been 8 years since the accident and instead told her that she was right and it had been a year. As she finished this she felt Nurse Redheart shoot a piercing glare at her as Horse MD walked in.
“Hello Twilight, I am Horse MD and I have been taking care of you since your accident. It's great to see you up again, do you have any headaches or pains? Do you feel any nausea, disorientation or are you having any problems with your memory?”
“No Doctor Horse I don't, I mean I guess my head hurts a little and I feel a little sluggish, but if what Dash told me is true, then I guess I should expect it since I have been bedridden for around a year. And well I really can't remember what happened to land me here for a year.” She noticed Horse MD flinch a little as she said that, but then he continued.
“We have sent a message to Princess Celestia and her sister Luna,” Horse MD was interrupted by a blinding flash as Luna and Celestia appeared in the room and nearly collapsed on top of Twilight as they joyously hugged her as hard as they could.
“Verily I am most pleased to see you have awakened young Twilight, today is indeed a most joyous occasion.” Luna said in between her tears, Celestia merely held Twilight tight as she silently sobbed and thanked the Cosmic Matriarch that Twilight had awakened.
“As happy as I am to see both of you, could someone tell me what is happening, I woke up here just a bit ago and no one seems to want to be straight with me.” As the two alicorns disentangled themselves from Twilight and shared a look they noted she seemed to be getting perturbed. Twilight was indeed getting a little perturbed, she didn't understand what accident everyone was talking about or why everypony was so glad to see her up or why everypony seem to be so vague about so many details. No one seemed to want to tell her about her friends and whenever she brought up how long she had been there everypony seemed to fidget a little.
“My dear Twilight,” Celestia began, “do you not remember what happened in your lab, the explosion-” She was cut of as Twilight sat almost straight up only stopped by Rainbow and Horse MD.
“What explosion, did it hurt anypony?” as she said that she saw everyone in the room visibly flinch, “Oh no who was hurt? What exploded?” When she tried to use magic to help herself up, a migraine made itself known to Twilight, it felt like her head had been split in two and it caused her vision to double and swim, causing her to fall back nauseated and in extreme pain. “Nnnngh...” was all Twilight could muster as she squeezed her eyes shut and took several deep breaths. Celestia gently put a hoof on her chest and began weeping anew as everyone else averted their eyes.
“My dear Twilight, the liquified rainbow in your lab caused the explosion and along with... other injuries, your magic may forever be unusable again. Try not to panic there is a chance we can restore some of it, but you will never have the control or power you once had.” Twilight stopped nursing her horn, now looking at it with a mixture of worry and sadness. She asked for everypony there to leave and tried to absorb the bitter truth. That she would never be the magician that she once was. After the last of the occupants left, she began to sob quietly, trying to believe everything that she'd been told.
The next day Twilight awoke to Rainbow Dash by her bedside holding a Daring Do book in her lap as she slept. She gently sat up and looked around to see that she had been moved to another room with a window that she could see the moon outside through, she smiled, thinking it must have been Luna's idea. She began to think back to what she could remember, she had called Applejack over to help her with her experiment on liquid rainbow and talk about what had happened between them on hearts and hooves day, Dash had come barreling into the basement and then, nothing until she woke up here in the hospital, and even those details she was unsure of. Had Dash really come barreling in? Was she the one who called Applejack? Where was Applejack for that matter? Why was Rainbow Dash the only pony here? Twilight and Applejack had started dating this time last year, so why was it that she awoke to find Dash rather than Applejack, reading a book while she slept on? It didn't make sense to her, something was off, and for some reason the more she thought about it the worse she felt almost as if her memory was trying to tell her not to dwell on the matter. She mulled this over until she fell asleep, still watching Dash, holding a copy of what looked like 'conciliation'. Over the next week, she spent the time drifting in and out, trying to catch up on reading with whatever she could get her hooves on, none of which was any form of news, which further piqued her curiosity.
Two weeks after she first woke up, Twilight awoke one morning to hear a voice, it sounded like Doctor Horses', but she couldn't be sure, “Rainbow Dash we need to tell her, she deserves to know how long it's really been, she deserves to know why no one but you and the princesses have come to see her. We can't keep her in the dark much longer, it's not right.” Twilight wasn't sure what they were talking about and she felt she wasn't supposed to hear that conversation. Perhaps she should say something so they knew she was up, but then she was infinitely more curious as to what they were talking about. Rainbow came trotting in slowly looking over her shoulder at who she assumed was Horse MD. When Rainbow Dash turned her head and saw that Twilight was awake, she immediately perked up.
“Hey Twi I just got permission to take you out, I was thinking we could hit Sugarcube corner and get some cupcakes, maybe see Pinkie while we're there.” Dash seemed a little down so Twilight decided it couldn't hurt.
“Well if it's okay with Horse MD and Nurse Redheart I guess that sounds okay, but are you sure? I just woke up and they usually want to check up on me first thing when I get up.” Rainbow Dash just smiled and told her it would be fine, they could check her over when she came back and walked over to Twilight with a wheelchair. “Ummm do you need help getting in the chair, I mean if you want I can help.”
“I should be fine Rainbow, it's not like I lost my legs or something.” Rainbow grimaced a bit but held her composure, as twilight slowly removed herself from the blanket, “I mean do I really need a wheelchair to get around.” As Twilight put her hooves on the floor and tried to stand, she saw the room spin and found herself on the floor. It wasn't that she was dizzy, it was more like her legs hadn't supported her at all. She tried to get up but could only make her front half rise. She looked at Rainbow, who still hadn't moved from where she was, quizzically looking at her back legs. She gasped in horror as she looked at her left side, there was large scar on her flank that had even taken one of the stars of her cutie mark, her right side looked fine but the top of her flank had another scar. She knew enough about biology to know a broken spine when she saw one. "Rainbow, could you leave me along for a bit. I... just leave me alone please."
Rainbow was about to offer Twilight some help into getting back into bed, not that it was needed, she had already retreated into herself again.
Rainbow Dash silently left the room.
As she closed the door she could hear Twilight begin to sob. She thought for a second about going in and helping her back into bed before she sank to the floor. She thought to herself, poor Twilight she must be so confused and all I can think about is trying to make her happy. I am the only one who stayed in town, I need to tell her. She looked at her back where her wings once sat and shuddered at the stump that was left of one and the mangled remains of the other one. Would I have left like the others did if I had my wings still, if my dream hadn't been shattered like our lives on that fateful day. As she sat outside Twilight's door thinking to herself she saw Pinkie approach. “Hey Pinkie hows the bakery and the twins?”
“Things are good Dashie, Mr and Ms Cake are out of town so I am in charge of it, so how is she doing in there? Have you told her anything yet?” Rainbow cast her head down and shook it slowly from side to side. “Well silly you should, you said you would be there for her when she woke up soooooo,” She advanced towards Rainbow and kicked her through the door, following her in with a trill of, “let's get in there and cheer her up.” She quickly bounced over Rainbow and over to Twilight, flipping her onto the bed while shouting, “WELCOME BACK TWILIGHT! How were the dreams? Were they pleasant? I remember a dream I had yesterday about this giant cupcake made entirely from chocolate milk." Twilight just stared at her before breaking down into tears of laughter.
“What are you talking about Pinkie? Really that's the first thing you say to me?” She looked over at Rainbow Dash and motioned her over. “You know, Dash here was about to help me over to sugar cube corner, if it's truly been a year then I'll bet your baking has improved some if it could at all.” Pinkie started bouncing around.
“Really? Oooh I have this new carrot cake recipe with a banana frosting I know you'll love it, lets go.” Rainbow walked over silently and began helping Twilight into the wheelchair, and almost dropped her as Twilight's hoof came close to what was left of her wings. Rainbow looked back sheepishly before apologizing and quickly reaching down to help Twilight up again. “Rainbow don't drop Twilight, we don't want her going back to sleep again silly.” Pinkie quipped in before she bounced back and helped Rainbow get Twilight into the chair.
“Dash, why did you move like that when I tried to brace myself on your shoulders? Did you get hurt in the lab accident too.” She was looking imploringly at Rainbow Dash who could only sigh.
“Twilight, let's not talk about that now, lets get you some Pinkie Pie cupcakes and talk about the last year.” Pinkie looked at Rainbow Dash a little funny when she said this but didn't say anything, it bugged Twilight to no end. They then proceeded out of the hospital and onto Sugarcube Corner.
As they made their way to sugarcube corner, everypony they met stopped them to give Twilight congratulations and condolences, neither of which were accompanied by a reason, which served to irk Twilight further. She met a lot of ponies who looked familiar but she couldn't place any of them. Twilight noticed that all the faces she could place looked older, and not just one year older. She also noted that some ponies seemed to avoid her or look at her with disdain. Once they got to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie darted into the kitchen and began making her cupcakes for the other two, while Rainbow and Twilight looked for a table. Rainbow noticed Applebloom sitting at a table on the other side of the room so she chose a table as far as she could from her. Once Applebloom noticed the lavender mare she got a quizzicle look and began making her way to Rainbow and her friend, Rainbow tried to wave her off without Twilight noticing and failed completely. As Applebloom got closer she gasped as she realized who it was, “Oh by Celestia's wings, is that you Twilight, is that really you?” Twilight stared for a second before asking, “Umm do I know you? I consider myself fairly well informed about the ponies around, though I have been out of the loop for a year now and I imagine some ponies may have moved in while I was out of the loop.” Applebloom paused for a second before getting teary eyed and grabbing her in a massive hug, “It's me Twilight, Applebloom. Sister to Applejack.” She choked up as she introduced herself to Twilight who was thoroughly confused.
“Applebloom? It's only been a year how, could you have possibly grown so much in just one year? You can't be little Applebloom” Twilight was trying to grasp what she was seeing, Applebloom looked like she was in her teens now at least, she had a cutie mark that looked like it meant construction.
“Twilight really, it's been eight years-” she was interrupted by Rainbow Dash jumping up and trying to shush her only to fall into Twilight's lap. Twilight saw Rainbow Dash's back for the first time since waking, and she was hardly prepared for what she saw. She gingerly brought her hoof up and touched the stump, tracing the mangled wing with her eyes as her mouth silently moved in horror and sorrow.
“Twilight, please calm down I can explain, just don't panic. Applebloom why did you have to blurt that out?” She was interrupted by Twilight's panicked scream as everything finally sunk in. The reason details were vague, the reason no pony wanted to let her see the paper or tell her how long she had been out.
“Rainbow your wings! Applebloom your growth! What- what did that accident due? Have I really been in a coma for eight years?” She began to wheel herself slowly backwards as the panic set in. “What did I do to you Rainbow? What have I done to Ponyville? And my friends?” She suddenly spun the wheelchair around and took off towards the library, the last place she hoped she'd find safety and comfort.
“Twilight no come back! We can explain. Please don't go to the library.” Rainbow took off galloping after her as Twilight booked it to the library in tears. When she finally caught up she expected to see Twilight in hysterics but instead found her sitting limp in her wheelchair, staring at what had become of the library.
She opened and closed her mouth for a moment before the words materialised. "Rainbow, what is that? What happened to the library?" Both she and Rainbow looked at where the library was, and Rainbow read out what now occupied that space. "Here we commemorate honest Applejack. She gave everything to her friends and this town. May we never forget her last acts and forever remember her for teaching us that honesty is not always about telling the truth but an action truer than any words can ever say." Twilight slumped back, Rainbow barely hearing her request. "Take me back to the hospital Rainbow. Please."
Chapter 2
As Rainbow dash silently wheeled Twilight back to the hospital, Twilight began to think back to her times with Applejack, specifically what happened before that Hearts and Hooves day eight years ago.
~ Eight years ago
Twilight sat atop the hill eagerly awaiting Applejack, she couldn't stop fidgeting, thinking about what she was going to do. It started when she found herself watching her flank almost a month ago, she didn't understand it then but she had begun to fall for the mare. She had been spending more and more time with her, she had begun researching into farming and apples and other things she know Applejack was into. She had found myriads of reasons, big and small, to be at Sweet Apple Acres as often as she could, and growing depressed and listless whenever Applejack wasn't around. Tonight, she would take the plunge and let Applejack know all of this and ask her to be her special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day. She noticed Applejack at the bottom of the hill, making her way up slowly, the closer she got, the faster that Twilight's heart began to pound until she was sure that Applejack could hear it from where she was now. She took some deep breaths and lit the candles, and then quickly snuffed them and secreted them in picnic basket with the wine. As Applejack made it to the top of the hill and sat beside her,Twilight could barely restrain herself.
"Evening AJ, it's wonderful to see you. I hope you're hungry, I brought some dinner and I thought we could maybe eat and talk."
“Of course Twi', ah'm feelin' a mite peckish.” They both sat down on either side of the blanket and Twilight brought out the sandwiches and wine. “So it's not much but I hope you like it, would you prefer wine or cider?” Twilight poured herself some wine while she asked. “Hmm some wine sounds good, it's been a heck of day fer meh.” Applejack smiled gently as she accepted the wine. “So what was it you wanted to talk about Twilight?”
Twilight took a deep breath to calm herself. “Lately AJ, if you have noticed, I have been spending more time on your farm and around you. I have been looking forward to any time I can spend with you and trying to get as much as I can in.” Twilight paused and breathed slowly. “I have been unable to look at any other ponies or think much of other ponies without my thoughts drifting to you. I have found myself dreaming of spending time with you, of smelling the sweet scent of apples you carry and your gorgeous green eyes staring into mine. After much research and sleeplessness I realized why, I love you Applejack, and not just as a friend.” Twilight paused to collect herself and steady her nerves. Taking a few deep breathes before continuing. “I know that you may not reciprocate the feeling and that it may damage our friendship, but I had to get it out there. So my question is, Applejack will you be my special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day?” Twilight sat looking at Applejack waiting for an answer, quickly finding herself more worried than she had been since she got an A- on a test.
Applejack sat silently for a minute taking all this in. Had the Twilight Sparkle, the most socially inept pony she had ever met really just confessed to her? Not only had she confessed but she did it in a romantic location on a romantic evening, with food and wine. She could hardly believe it, but more surprising to her was that the mare she had wanted, yet thought she could never have, had similar feelings that she had locked away herself. Applejack took a long slow breath, “Twi' I never thought a day would come when you of all ponies...” Twilight's ears dropped and her head drooped a bit, “would fall in love. I had dreamed of a day like this since I met you when you first arrived but I had never believed it would happen.” Twilight's ears and head shot up with the biggest grin Applejack had ever seen.
“Does this mean what I think it does.” Twilight could barely contain her excitement as Applejack smiled at her and leaned in to gently kiss her. “Yes Twi', I will be your special somepony.” Applejack whispered to her gently.
They both crawled over to each other and began snuggling in the cold night air. “Twi', this may be hard but please don't tell my folks. I haven't told anyone but you now that I prefer the company of mares over stallions. If we can wait till ah'm ready I'd appreciate it.” Twilight smiled at her, “Of course, I would do anything for you. Plus this is new for me too, you're my first special somepony.” They both looked at the sky and sighed as they snuggled closer together, not wanting to let the night end.
The next week was filled with the happiest times that Twilight could ever remember, even over those spent beside Celestia. She spent as much time with Applejack as she could, waiting for Hearts and Hooves Day when they would tell all their friends and then decide on who to tell next. The only damper on the week was Rainbow Dash, she seemed depressed and distracted, going so far as to avoid Twilight and Applejack, they decide to tackle this problem on Hearts and Hooves Day, after all, since when had Rainbow Dash ever missed a party?
~~
The promised day rolled around and everyone had gathered at the library for the party except for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. As soon as Fluttershy arrived, dragging along a sullen Rainbow Dash. Twilight and Applejack stood up. “It's great to see everypony today, Me and Twi' here have an announcement to make.” Pinkie piped up, “Ooh, is this about how you and her have been dating since last week?” Everyone stared at Pinkie with their mouths wide open, then they all turned to Twilight and Applejack who had gone beet red and were scuffing the ground nervously. “How did you know Pinkie? We've been keeping it a secret and I thought we were doing it quite well.” Twilight said a little sullenly, she had no idea how anypony could have figured it out. Pinkie smiled her massive grin, “I know everything that happens around Ponywille, sheesh. Plus Rainbow Dash sucks at secrets.” All eyes turned to Rainbow Dash. “Was that why you were avoiding me and Applejack Rainbow?” Rainbow Dashs' cheeks turned red enough to match the red in her mane and tail, before she turned and bolted out the door into the night. “Well that was plum strange, figure we should go after her Twi'.” Twilight looked confused but shook her head after a moment, “I think I might know what's troubling her.” She mentally kicked herself for not seeing it earlier. “Well everyone, I guess that marks the end of the party, sorry Pinkie.” Everyone filtered out and went home except for Applejack and Twilight who smiled at each other and headed upstairs to Twilight's bedroom.
~~
It had been five days since the party and no one had seen Rainbow Dash since then, the worry from both Twilight and Applejack now almost palpable. “Applejack, I am really worried. No one has been able to find Dash since Hearts and Hooves Day. Something could be wrong, she could have crashed somewhere meaning that she can't fly and that she's lost and alone and scared and- ” Applejack placed a hoof on Twilight's mouth, “There's one place no-pony has looked yet, that's around the library. Ah thought we could look around for her.” Twilight looked a little confused, “I live here I'd know if she was hiding in the library somewhere.” Applejack sighed, “Have you checked your basement sugarcube. I know it's supposed to be off limits and all but that's what makes it a great place to hide.” Twilight gave her a confused look as she went to the basement door and to her surprise found it unlocked. She gently pushed it open and lit her horn up, casting an eerie glow into the dark basement. “You coming Applejack?” She looked over her shoulder to see Applejack nod and they both made their way into the basement below.
They found Rainbow Dash in a corner, sleeping on a pile of towels Twilight used for cleaning up less harmful spills, gently trying to rouse her. Her eyes snapped open and she quickly took off, only just missing the ceiling, heading towards the other corner of the room before she spun around to see that it was just Twilight and Applejack. She landed and ruffled her feathers like she hadn't just been surprised. "Hey guys, what's up? Sweet stuff you got here Twilight, although you probably shouldn't be messing with liquid rainbow, that stuff is really dangerous."
“Rainbow we need to talk.” Twilight said calmly, not really surprised that she was here. “How did you know about me and Applejack, and why did you avoid us over these last two weeks?” Rainbow looked around sheepishly before taking a deep breath, “I was lounging on a cloud near the hill watching the stars and thinking about my next awesome trick the night you confessed to AJ, I saw the whole thing from my cloud perch.” She breathed even deeper, “I have been avoiding you two because...” she looked embarrassed and a thoughtful look passed over her face for a moment before she turned a deeper shade of red and shot forwards, kissing Applejack full on the lips. Applejack could barely offer any resistance as she was knocked back against a table, causing a beaker of liquid rainbow to tip over and spill into the box it was resting on. Twilight had time to take a deep breath before her whole world exploded with a corona of color.
~~The present
Twilight shook her head, what happened after the explosion? Why was the explosion so massive? Liquid rainbow shouldn't cause something like that. Wait what was in the box it spilled on? She thought for a second before it hit her. She had been working on a way to store spells in that box, finding a way to make them accessible by everypony. How could she have been so careless as to leave live magic so close to liquid rainbow? If she hadn't been so careless... she hung her head and began sobbing.
Rainbow stopped the wheelchair, moving around the front so that she could hold the sobbing mare gently, saying "It's OK Twilight, I know it's a big shock and all, but I'm here for you when you're ready to talk." She wrapped her hooves around the sobbing mare and held her as she cried herself to sleep.
Chapter 3
Chapter 3
It had been several days since Twilight had discovered Applejack's memorial and she hadn't said a word or accepted any visitors to her room. Rainbow had been quietly waiting outside for her since she had been kicked out, sadly not being admitted. It was with some trepidation that Rainbow left for the train station, hearing that her family was coming to see Twilight. Thankfully, no hooves were pointed when she met them or when she told them of her current condition, instead she was greeted with a very happy Shining Armour and Cadence along with Twilights mother and father. After she had led them both to the hospital and gone to check whether Twilight was awake or not when she heard a voice coming from Twilight's room, she quietly snuck up to the door to listen.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.
As Twilight sang, Rainbow silently opened the door and made her way to Twilight's bedside, sitting down next to her.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Without turning from the window, Twilight addressed Rainbow, “I was knocked unconscious from the first explosion so I don't know what happened afterwards. I also know liquid rainbow isn't usually lethal in small quantities like I had in that box. Do you remember anything after I was knocked out?”
Rainbow sighed and took a deep breath. “I do Twi', I remember it all. I haven't been able to forget. It haunts my dreams and my every action.”
“Rainbow,” Twilight responded, slightly nervous about what could be so bad to haunt Rainbow’s actions for eight whole years, “would you tell me what happened after I was knocked out?”
~~ The day of the lab accident
“Hold on Rainbow, I'll get ya out of here and go back fer Twi', just don't go passing out on meh” Applejack told Rainbow Dash as she hauled her up the stairs, through the rainbow colored smoke and towards the main floor. When she arrived at the main floor she took her bearings and headed for the front door, once out she saw most of the town gathering and screamed for someone to get the doctor. “Yer gonna be alright Rainbow, I gotta go back fer Twi' now, someone’ll be along to help in a sec.” Rainbow tried to scream at Applejack not to go back in but could only whimper, the pain along her back from trying to breath deeply wouldn't let her. She watched and waited helplessly for a minute, before the library was wracked with another explosion. The side of the tree seemed to disintegrate and the tree toppled over towards the side that had blown away.
~~ Present Day
“I blacked out after the tree fell, everything else I know from the papers.” Rainbow took a deep breath, “After the tree fell rescue ponies were able to get to the basement where they found Applejack lying over you, her back was burnt and she was barely conscious. From what I understand, she fought and screamed at them to take you up first. The papers said she was screaming about saving her mare, that you were more important than she was. They took you up together, I can bring you pictures of the rescue if you want.” Rainbow was a little fidgety, “After you both arrived she slipped into a coma for about a month. We had you both put in the same room, we thought it would help you both out.”
Twilight sat there thoughtfully, “Does anyone know what the second explosion was? Also, from the sound of her injuries, Applejack should have made it, liquid rainbow usually isn't lethal except in large quantities. I know that in its gas form the lethality goes up but it shouldn't have killed.”
“Twi', the second explosion was most probably your reserves of liquid rainbow. Nopony is a hundred percent sure why, but your reserves of liquid rainbow went up as well. It might not have been too bad if she hadn't gone back for you, but because she went back in unprotected, she received a larger dose than anypony else but you. She didn't stay in a coma as long you but it eventually caught up to her.” Rainbow bowed her head and wrapped her arms around herself, “All she could talk about while she was bedridden was how she didn't mind dying because she had saved the most important mares in her life.”
Twilight sat with a thoughtful look on her face, “Rainbow, that song I was singing before, I learned it from her.” Twilight hummed a little with nostalgic look on her face. “Do you remember the smarty pants doll incident?” Rainbow nodded her head in confirmation. “Do you remember how I locked myself in the library for the better part of three weeks after it?” Rainbow looked up, “Kinda, I was always curious as to why.”
“Well, that's a story from my Canterlot days, and we can save it for later, but while I was in the library, Applejack was the only one who got in. She stayed with me the entire time trying to comfort me and help me sleep. That was the song she sang to me to sleep with every night. Thinking back, that was probably when I first began to fall in love with her.” Twilight's lips curled up in a tiny smile. “Even though I was so depressed and dejected, Applejack stayed with me and comforted me with that song. Every time my tears started she would sing that song till I stopped. She told me about how her mom taught her the song and her mom's mom taught her. She told me how she used to sing it to Applebloom when she would have nightmares. I don't know why I remember it now but it helps the pain from losing her.” Twilight began humming it as Rainbow Dash sat with slightly misty eyes.
“Twilight,” Rainbow Dash began, “Applejack loved you to the end. Everypony had their suspicions about you two after she was caught sleeping by your side while you were in a coma. Not to mention how she refused to leave your room and forced the doctors to allow you two to stay together. This was all after she woke up from the coma she had fallen in. I remember that first day after she woke up and how she spent it curled up next you in your bed. The doctors tried to get her away from you to check on your condition, but ended up doing her check up around her.” Rainbow giggled a bit. “The doctors didn't have a clue what to do, they tried repeatedly to get her to a new room and they always found her back in here, even though she was so weak.” Rainbow had a nostalgic look on her face as she reminisced. “Me you and her had sleepovers all the time. Me and AJ would gather in your room and sleep by your side, man it made the doctors so nervous whenever they found us like that. I think its how people figured out you and her were a couple. It was either that or her donating her heart to you.” Rainbow slapped her hoof into her mouth suddenly. Twilight's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.
“Did you just say she gave me her heart?” Rainbow looked away, “I wasn't supposed to tell you, but yeah.” Twilight sat back and took a deep breath. “So when did she do that?”
Rainbow breathed deeply, “About two years after you had gone into a coma, she had begun to deteriorate and your heart had been getting weaker for a while. She offered hers to you since she knew she wouldn't be long for this world. The doctors said by the time she was eligible her heart would be unacceptable due to the rainbow gas. I never saw her look so determined as she did for what she said next. She told them to switch your hearts, she knew she was dead either way but if they did that, she would have time to say goodbye to everypony one last time. The doctors were hesitant but she somehow got them to do it, I was never able to figure out how, none of us could. She lived for a month after the switch, and the heart she gave you grew stronger inside you. It's probably why you made it till now.”
Twilight was speechless, Applejack had given her her heart in every way possible. She rubbed her hoof over her heart, “So she sacrificed a year of her life just so I wouldn't die, how could she do that to me? I would rather have joined her-” She was stopped in mid sentence by a hard slap from Rainbow Dash. Head reeling at the contact whilst trying to focus on what was now being yelled at her, “DON’T YOU DARE THINK THAT! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ALL OF US TO ACCEPT HER DECISION? SHE KNEW THAT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND HAPPINESS WITHOUT HER! SHE TRUSTED YOU TO CARRY ON FOR HER AND TO REMEMBER HER! DON'T YOU DARE THINK LIKE THAT!” Rainbow Dash, unable to continue, stormed out in tears.
~~
Not five minutes later, Twilight was woken from her stupor by the door slamming open and admitting her father followed by Shining Armour and Cadence, “TWILIGHT SPARKLE! YOU HAVE SOME NERVE, NEARLY GETTING YOURSELF KILLED AND LETTING US FIND OUT THROUGH THE NEWSPAPER!” Twilight sat transfixed by her dad as screamed himself out over the course of the next few minutes. When her dad finally finished screaming at her and was pausing for breath, Shining Armour and Cadence leant across Twilight, murmuring “It’s great to see you awake at last Twilight.”
After Shining and Cadence stood themselves up, Twilight looked her father straight in the eye and apologized. The effect could almost be heard as her dad deflated like a balloon and broke into tears. “Twilight...” he walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms, “Thank you. I don't deserve it, I chased you from home because of your filly fooling and then you nearly died. I may not be okay with your unnatural tendencies but I...” He choked on his tears a bit as Cadence had smacked him in the back of the head, “will look past my prejudices for my daughter. I can't accept your filly fooling...” Cadence smacked Twilight's father again, “but please allow this old man back into your life. I won't hinder your happiness or chase away your marefriends. I can't promise I will ever accept it but given time I believe I will be able to look past it and my father and mother's teaching about it and love my daughter anyway.” As he finished he lay his head in her lap and began sobbing like a child. “I can't ever make up for the way I treated you after I found out you were a filly fooler, trying to send you away to be fixed...” There was a sharp gasp from Cadence but Shining held her back, “if your mom hadn't stepped in you and stopped me you never would have become the great pony you are, but I feel as though I caused this accident by chasing you away because of your filly fooling ways. I know it's dumb of me to think that, but I know that in some way, you were running from me. Your mom shared all the news she got from you over the years with me, it made me realize that I had to try and look past the prejudices I had been raised with and reach out to my only daughter, but I was too stubborn for my own good.” Twilight's fathers words became intelligible as the sobs took over.
“Twilight, dear, I see your father beat me here.” Twilight's mother stood at the door to her room smiling gently. “It really was hard on him, these past eight years.” Shining and Cadence both walked up to Twilight with their mother. “Yeah, dad was livid about the filly foolery rumors in the paper...” He paused and stepped a little bit further from Cadence, “but after he read about the coma and the chances of you returning being so small, he seemed to forget about the filly foolery and was only concerned for you. He nearly quit his job when they tried to tell him he couldn't take a vacation to come see you, the police had to get involved to prevent him from doing anything. It was hilarious.”
Twilight put a hoof on her dad's head, “He really does care for me, I always knew he did somewhere in his heart, but after he found out and his threats to me, I left without a word or letter to him. I can't imagine how hurt he must have been when I told him that I never wanted to talk to him again before I left for Ponyville. The first words I had spoken to him since the fight we had before I moved into the dorms at the magic school. That fight was probably the worst fight I have ever had with a pony I love, part of me has always regretted that fight, but I was just too stubborn to admit it. To stubborn to admit that he was my dad and too stubborn to admit I loved him whether accepted all of me or not. I imagine it was the same for him. Seeing him like this though, makes me know for sure that I was right. That even though we don't see eye to eye about life doesn't mean he never loved me” Her dad looked up at her as she said this.
“Twilight, I will make every effort to be the father I should have been. It might take me a while but I will do everything I didn't do before. I had eight long years to to think about it, and I though I can never get the lost years back I will do everything I can to make the rest of them count.” Her father's sobs had subsided and he was trying to compose himself, “I will learn to shrug off my distaste of you bringing mare's home instead of stallions, I will learn to be there for you like I never was in that past. Most of all, I will love you no matter what you do and I will never let you go again, I will never let us drift apart like we have been ever since you first brought a mare friend home. Never again.” There was a sudden popping sound and Twilight found she couldn't see a thing threw a tiny foal buddy now firmly attached to her face. “Umm? Does anypony know anything about this blue foal stuck to my face?” Everyone but Twilight broke down into fits of laughter.
“Aunt Sleeping Princess, you’re awake, now we can play.” The tiny blue foal dropped from the face hug into her lap and began shake from side to side. “Twilight, meet Crystal Twilight, your niece.” Shining and Cadence chimed at the same time. “She has a knack for diffusing serious situations and calming people down.” Cadence leaned into Shining, “Ponies that was getting mushier than even you and I are.”
Twilight was breathless for second before scooping up the foal and squeezing him in a massive hug, “Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod you are adorable.” Twilight could barely contain her excitement, she had been looking forward to her brothers children since the wedding. “She is adorable!”
“Aunt Sleepy, are you okay? Your eyes are leaking.” Crystal asked as she put a hoof on Twilight's cheek.
“Yes Crystal I am. I am just so happy right now, my brother has a child and I have made up with my dad. This is the greatest day I have had since I woke up.” Twilight said with the biggest grin as she nuzzled the baby foal.
“Cadence, this is weird, Crystal never stays in one place this long.” Shining said as he leaned into Cadence. “It was definitely a good idea to bring her, but have you ever seen her this still before.” The foal suddenly popped out from between Twilight's hooves and onto her head where she snuggled into her mane and fell asleep. “Okay that is adorable, but doesn't explain the lack of running around insanely. Though she always did like Twily's mane when we came to visit.” Cadence and Shining leaned against each other and sighed, “I have waited eight years for us to be together again, as a family, and it feels so right, even here in a hospital room.”
Rainbow cleared her throat loudly making everypony jump. “I know this is a touching moment and all but- ummm- I can I say something to Twi'.” Twilight looked at Rainbow and laughed, “Rainbow if it's to apologize about what happened earlier don't, I am the one who should be sorry. I lost it when I realized how I was still alive, and you were right about everything” Rainbow shook her head slowly as she walked up to Twilight and hugged her. “It's okay we were all saddened by her decision but we have had more time to accept it than you did, I should have been more calm about things.”
Twilight's father grew sheepish as he watched them hug. “Rainbow may I ask what you are referring to?” Rainbow looked up and sighed, “Yea, it's about the heart switch the doctors did.” Twilight's father took a deep breath, “So she really went through with it, I didn't think the doctors would let her. I guess I really did help her out there, the doctors were hesitant even after I talked to them. Twilight before you scream or get mad at me know that she wrote me several letters asking me to help her get the doctors to do it.” Every pony in the room looked at him speechless. “I know you all might be mad at me for helping Applejack sacrifice her life for our daughter but she was so adamant about it. If you remember that vacation I took honey, it was a few years ago, that was to meet Applejack and talk to her. I was against it at first, I was mad that she and my daughter were in such an immoral relationship but she helped me see how much she cared for my daughter. After I spent some time with her I helped her convince the doctors to go through with it and switch their hearts.” He placed a hand on Twilight's chest, “I think she helped me more than any pony in getting over my age old prejudices, she had the purest love for another I have ever seen. I hope you can forgive me for helping her go through with it Twilight.”
“Father, I can't bring myself to be mad, I want to be but she wanted it more than you from the sound of it. You said her love was pure, I never thought I would hear you ever say that about two mares in love, that alone speaks enough to me to let me know how much she moved you.” Twilight wrapped her dad in a hug, “Thank you for helping her give me her legacy and love. I will cherish the heart she gave me even more knowing it helped me rekindle my bond with my father.” Everpony in the room was silent as they wrapped each other in a massive group hug.
“It's great to have you back.”
Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Rainbow Dash gently closed the door to Twilight's hospital room behind herself, leaving her alone with the two princesses for her magic therapy. She sighed heavily and left the hospital, heading nowhere in particular and losing herself in her thoughts of the years that had passed.
She drifted back over the years, to when Applejack had left them all. She found old questions bubbling up to the surface of her mind, one in particular found itself at the forefront. It was the same question that had haunted her since Applejack had left and everyone had begun to move on; why had she stayed? Rainbow knew she could have left, taken that honorary position in the Wonderbolts they had offered her; she wouldn't have been flying with them, but rather dealing with the media and training. Her dream of flying with the Wonderbolts and sharing a spotlight with them throughout Equestria had been shattered and cut away with her wings. She found herself thinking back to the day she woke up to find her dream shattered and her sky ripped away from her. It was the day Rainbow Dash had died, and it was the day Rainbow Dash was reborn. It was the cruelest day fate had ever thrown at her.
~~
“AAAAHHHHHHHHH” Rainbow Dash's piercing scream echoed up and down the hospital halls as she woke up from her medically induced coma.
Doctor Horse came cantering in, sliding on the tile slightly. “Calm down Miss Dash, and remain still, we can't have you popping a stitch, NURSE GET IN HERE!” Horse MD pushed Rainbow Dash back into the bed on her stomach and held her down as he began examining her back. “Thank Celestia you didn't pop a stitch or re-open your wounds. Miss Dash, I need you to remain calm, there was a horrible accident and we had to perform surgery. You are still healing so you need to remain calm and still so that you don't injure yourself further.” He took a deep shuddering breath, “And we had to amputate one and the other we only managed to set it, it will remain unusable. We did everything we could but...” He took a deep shuddering breath and quietly whispered to himself, “Celestia I am bad at that, where's that damned nurse?” Then in an audible voice, “We did everything we could but we could only save one.”
“What do you mean doc, amputate what? What’s unusable? What are you talking about?” Rainbow asked in a panicked voice. “What accident, what in the name of Tartarus is going on? Where are my friends?”
Nurse Redheart came trotting through the door, “Sorry Doctor Horse I was with Applejack. We were having some difficulties with her,” she said the last part hesitantly as though she had been searching for gentler words, “We had to deal with it immediately.” She took a deep breath “So Miss Dash, it's great to see you awake again, but we’ll need you to stay in bed for a little longer. I imagine Horse MD has been kind enough to tell you what has happened.” She gave both of them a smile that was a little forced when it passed over Horse MD.
“Eh-he, um yes, I’ll leave you and Miss Dash to your examination now.” Horse MD said, making a quick exit to avoid the glare he was receiving from Nurse Redheart.
“So Miss Dash, you and your friends, Twilight and Applejack, were in an accident in Twilights’ basement, and there were some unexpected complications.” Nurse Redheart busied herself, checking over Rainbow Dashs’ condition and the fluid levels of the pouches around her as she spoke. “Your other two friends fared much less fortunately than you yourself did, though your injuries were no laughing matter. You’ve been held in a medically induced coma for roughly two weeks.”
Rainbow let out a small squeak then tentatively asked, “What about Twilight and Applejack? Are they....”
“No, thankfully they are just in a coma, still alive. Though it has been a bit touch and go with your friend Applejack.” She sighed, shaking her head, “Twilight has been unresponsive completely and is in a deeper coma than Applejack. We fear she may never wake up. As for you, your wings received the worst damage.” She paused a second.
“My wings? Oh Celestia no, please tell me they are okay.” Rainbow was getting a little panicked as it slowly dawned on her why she was on her stomach. She tried to move her wings but was stopped with a gentle tap on her head from Nurse Redheart.
“Please Miss Dash, refrain from moving your wing, it’s still healing.”
Rainbow paused, “You mean wings right?” Nurse Redheart shook her head, watching Rainbow Dash as her expression grew desperate.
“I’m afraid not Miss Dash, we had to amputate one wing. It was beyond saving and had to be removed...” Nurse Redheart was interrupted by a wail of anguish from Rainbow Dash. She sighed to herself, “And I gather from your anguish that Doctor Horse was less forthcoming than I thought.”
Nurse Redheart sat on the bed and looked at Rainbow “Miss Dash, I know this is hard for you, but you are lucky to be alive. I know losing your wing is horrible; it might even hurt more knowing that you still have the other one as a reminder of what you’ve lost. When you are better we can discuss whether you want to keep your remaining wing or if you want us to remove it as well.”
Nurse Redheart took a deep breath, making sure the bandages were in place and putting on the brace so Rainbow Dash could lie on her back while she healed, quietly leaving the room and Rainbow Dash to her grieving. She couldn't imagine how hard it was for her to learn that she had lost all of her dreams in one horrific accident. No matter how horrible the accident, for it to take so much from such wonderful ponies, it was simply terrifying.
~~
Rainbow shuddered slightly as she remembered this. “I lost everything except my friends, over the course of those unconscious weeks. Everything I used to define myself, to earn a living, and to lose myself in, all lost because of one rash decision.” She spoke to herself, shook her head and began walking again.
“I don't regret it though. It hurts, but I don't regret it. It made me a stronger mare and taught me more about loyalty, and about myself, than I had learned in my entire life.” She looked up at the skies as she spoke, watching a few pegasi move clouds away for the scheduled clear skies. “Did I stay because of loyalty, like so many accused me of? I stayed after everyone else moved on. I never moved on with them. Sure Pinkie and Fluttershy still live here in Ponyville, but they continued with their lives.”
Rainbow sighed, “Why didn't I let myself move on? Why did I stay and wait for Twilight? What held me there by her side?” She walked up the hill that overlooked Sweet Apple Acres and took a seat under the tree at the top.
As she sat under the tree overlooking Sweet Apple Acres she took a deep breath, savoring the scent of apples that lingered about the air. “Fluttershy buried herself in her vet work and Pinkie took over the bakery. They stayed in Ponyville, but I was the one who stayed by Twilight's side. I didn't do it for loyalty, maybe some part did, I am the Element of Loyalty after all.” She let out a bitter chuckle and sighed deeply, before getting to her hooves and beginning the long walk back towards Ponyville. “My life didn't stall, did it? I found odd jobs to do and I rented an apartment, not that I stay in it often, but I do own one. I never really left the hospital though. I worked enough to pay rent and feed myself, but the rest of my time was spent by Twilight. Rarity used to joke that it was love, holding me by Twilights’ bedside. I used to think it was preposterous, but it's not that crazy, is it? I told myself I loved Applejack and no mare could replace her. Did I perhaps try to fill the hole she left with Twilight?”
She found herself where the library once stood, staring at the statue of Applejack, “Did I stay because I loved Twilight? Or because I felt I owed it to her, and to you? Did I feel some strange sense of responsibility to both of you? Was I too afraid of a life without you and her? Was it the uncertainty of what I would do now that I had lost everything?” She stared up at Applejack, seeking answers from the stone, “Why did I have to hide in her lab? Why did I have to kiss you like that? Why was I such a coward? Why couldn't I have just talked it over with you and her?” She put a hoof on the statue, it felt cold. “I miss you AJ. I miss you more than I ever thought it was possible to miss another pony. I can never undo what happened and I don't know how I was able to move on. Is it selfish of me to think that neither of us regrets what happened, that you would have moved on just like I did?”
She turned and leant against the statue. “I don't think it was love or responsibility that kept me here, but then it wasn't the loss of my dream either. It's weird. I always seem to think in circles when I try to figure out why I stuck by Twilights’ side through the years. I’ve never found an answer, yet I’m okay with that, I don't think I needed one. There is no real reason I stayed, or at least, not one I care about. I stayed here because it was right. I didn't stay because of loyalty or responsibility or because of love. I didn't stay because I was afraid of the world without my dreams and you. I didn't stay because I had no other dream to chase.”
She looked up at the statue, “I stayed because you would have wanted me to. I stayed because I loved you, and you loved Twilight. Maybe fear, loyalty, and uncertainty held me here, but ultimately, I did it because it was right and because it's what both of you would have wanted.” Rainbow wiped her eye with a hoof and chuckled, “I think I’m getting soft. I’ve cried so much since she woke up. Almost daily in fact. Ha! The great and wonderful Rainbow Dash, reduced to tears on a near-daily basis. Who would have thought I would ever grow so soft?” She stood up, walking to a bench facing the statue and sitting down.
“Even though I stayed, there was a time when it was the hardest thing I could have done. After you died I wanted to leave Twilight's side, I wanted to run away and never look back. I blamed her for your death at first, for stealing you away from us. How could she have done that? It was so selfish of her. To be honest, I was jealous of Twilight, and jealous of the affection you gave her. Jealous that you gave her your life in the end. I never really hated her. I certainly felt like I did, but I never truly hated Twilight.” Rainbow lowered her head as she admitted this. “It was just so hard, watching you fawn over Twilight, day-in and day-out. From the moment you woke up to the bitter end, you found a way to stay by her side.” She looked at the statue, “Why couldn't you have seen how much I was hurting for you? Why couldn't you have looked at me?”
Rainbow began to cry again. “I was there too; I was hurt too, while all you saw was your sleeping princess. Why couldn't you have held me, just once, like you held her her? Why couldn't you comfort me like you comforted her? I loved Twilight too, and it hurt me to watch her lying there like she was dead. The worst part about it was that, more than once, I honestly hoped Twilights’ condition would suddenly worsen and she would die, just so you would look at me.” Rainbow paused and took a few deep breaths.
“The first time I had those thoughts, I cried after they passed. It happened more often than I would like to admit, and then my wishes were answered, when Twilight’s heart started to fail, and the news about what you were going to do, came. The thought of losing you so that Twilight could live on in her coma, hurt me more than anyone. You never once discussed it with any of us. Sure it was probably the right decision, but why couldn't you have talked to us yourself instead of letting us find out like… like that. It hurt so bad, that I fled and never let you say goodbye to me. That’s probably my biggest regret in all of my life; that I never said goodbye to you Applejack. I just left after our last argument, telling you that I would rather see Twilight die than you. Me, the Element of Loyalty, decreeing that I was more loyal to my own desires than to my friends. No one ever realizes that loyalty is a two sided blade, that if you are loyal to one, you have to be disloyal to another.” Rainbow's tears began to flow again.
Rainbow felt somepony latch onto her leg and looked down, the eyes of a small filly meeting her own, “Hey squirt, what's up?”
“You looked sad, like somepony that needed a hug. It always helps me.” The small filly smiled up at her with sparkle in her eyes. “So did it work, do you feel better?”
Rainbow scooped the filly up, squeezing her tight and nuzzling her. “I do a little bit, thank you. Now run along, I’d like some more time to talk to my friend,” Rainbow waved a hoof at the statue, “before I go back and talk to my other friend.” Rainbow watched the little filly scamper off and turned back to the statue.
“I never used to like foals that much Applejack, always running around too much to pay any attention to them. Sure, I took care of Scootaloo a lot, but I never stopped to look at her. She was like the rest of the scenery that I never stopped to look at, but after the accident all I had left was memories of the scenery. It hurt so much to know the landscapes that I took for granted before, were all lost to me now. I still remember the wide open blue sky, the feel of my mane whipping around in the wind. I remember how the wind felt in my feathers and the forces on my body, as I pulled off my tricks. I remember floating above your farm just watching you work. I remember teaching Scootaloo the basics of flight and flying besides her as she flew for the first time.”
Rainbow sighed, “That accident made me so bitter, so hateful, and so sad. Most of all the accident left me filled with anger. Anger at everything. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. I’ve spent too many hours on a couch talking about it. Talking about all the guilt I felt about the feelings that went through me, watching you fawn over Twilight. I know everything I felt was mostly due to my own problems but there’s still a part of me which will never be able to truly forgive you for what you did.”
Rainbow curled up on the bench, still looking at the statue. She took some deep breaths and dried her eyes on her fetlock. “I will never forgive you for leaving us like that. I have accepted it and that it won't change. But I will never forgive you. I can never forgive your decision to not tell us until it was over and done with. Everyone was devastated, when I walked in to see where you’d been all morning and saw those matching bandages on you and Twilight, I was devastated. I had heard the rumors but thought they were insane. I really am sorry for everything that I said that day, but I can't forgive you for not letting me know before you went through with it.” Rainbow took a steadying breath.
“Did you know I watched as you said your goodbyes? I saw your heartfelt goodbye to your family, I don't think I’ve ever seen Big Mac cry so much, he even out-cried Applebloom, and she could cry. She doesn't really cry at all now. She says she cried all the tears she could ever produce over you. Your goodbye to Rarity was quite touching as well, letting her design a dress for you to be buried in. It's a miracle she finished it in time with all the crying she was doing making it, and letting Pinkie Pie arrange the funeral and the party to commemorate your life? That was brilliant sentiment. It was probably the greatest party and send off she ever threw. She actually mellowed out after that party, like she knew she would never be able to top it.”
“And Fluttershy? Giving her your blessing to chase Big Mac? That was priceless. She couldn't look him in the eyes for days; he was so confused at first. She went by the farm almost every day to help out with Applebloom. The day she told him what you had said, was the first happy day in Ponyville since your death. Did you know they had twins?” Rainbow chuckled a bit. “Fraternal twins, an earth pony and a pegasus.”
Rainbow got up again and walked over to the statue, placing a hoof on it. “The earth pony looks just like you, it's adorable. Applebloom loves them so much, she foalsits for them all the time.” Rainbow leant into the statue. “After everything that happened to me and all the hurt that the accident caused, the only regret I have ever had was hurting you, and not letting you say goodbye to me. I was just so lonely. You were right there and yet you were miles away. Have you ever felt like you have no place left in the world? I would never feel the embrace of the sky again; I would never feel your loving embrace, reserved only for Twilight. I could never achieve my dream that I had been chasing since before I got my cutie mark. It was terrifyingly lonely. I was afraid to be honest, not just lonely but terrified. It only got worse as you and Twilight deteriorated, the fear was overwhelming the day you told us you had saved Twilight.”
She placed a hoof on the statue. “I know now, that that fear was stupid, but it was so horrifying for me back then. After you died, I worked hard and I took your place by Twilight's side. I don't know if I truly love her or if it's something else, but a small piece of me feels for her. I once thought it might be because she held your heart, but I know now that it isn't. She can never replace you, but she’s gained a place next you in my heart. Even if I don't love her like I love you, she is still as special to me as you were.”
Rainbow stood up and turned to face the statue, “Thanks for listening again AJ, I’m gonna get going. It's late and Twilight should be done with the princesses by now, so I was thinking I’d grab some cupcakes for her and surprise her. I’ll be back again sometime.” Rainbow said over her shoulder as she headed off to Sugarcube Corner, feeling slightly better than she had for a while. She found herself whistling a bit with a spring in her step. That all came crashing down when she saw Twilight sitting at a table in front of Sugarcube Corner with a stetson that had singed edges and holes burnt through it.
Twilight sat with the hat in front of her, her shoulders visibly shaking as she held a small piece of paper in her hooves. Rainbow darted up to her and wrapped her in her hooves; Twilight returned the embrace, weeping silently as she buried her head into Rainbow’s chest. Rainbow looked at the letter on the table. It read:
My Darling Twilight,
First off I would like to say I'm sorry. I left you to fend for yourself in a new world without my voice and guidance. If you’re reading this, then they performed the surgery and I am with you in a small way. I left you with my heart, as I promised, and I took a piece of you with me. I know it's going to be hard for you, but I believe you can do it. I will always be with you, even if you can't hear me.
I imagine you'll have Rainbow by your side as well, to help you with things. If she is, tell her that I say goodbye and I forgive her for everything. Tell her that I am sorry that I neglected her in the end; I did it because I couldn't bear to see her without her wings.
Most of all, my dear Twilight, know that I love you with everything I was and I tried my hardest to wait for you to return to me. Whatever you do, don't let yourself grow depressed and don't let yourself forget that our friends, no matter where they are, are there for you.
Your Love
Applejack
Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
As Rainbow Dash finished singing she gently kissed her new roommate just below her purple horn, “Sleep tight Twi, I’m here for you.” Rainbow looked at the sleeping mare and remembered how hard the first few days away from the hospital had been for her.
~~
Twilight had seemed fine whenever she went to see her, excluding the first couple of days after she had first come to. Rainbow hadn't thought much about how Twilight was handling the situation she was in until Rainbow had invited Twilight to stay at her place after she was discharged from the hospital. Twilight was hesitant, but she really hadn't had anywhere else to go so Rainbow had offered her use of her apartment. It had taken very little convincing on Rainbow's part; Twilight didn't want to burden her any more than she had already, but could only offer token resistance, mostly due of her lack of options.
Twilight spent most of the first day looking around Rainbow's apartment before finding herself on the balcony, staring at the sky blankly. Rainbow hadn't thought much of it until the third hour of Twilight just sitting there, expressionlessly staring at the sky, passed. She brought her in to have dinner and talk. It had been a bit unnerving because Twilight hadn't seemed to notice the passage of time at all. Rainbow tried during dinner to get Twilight to open up and talk about what had happened and how she was doing, but she failed completely. Twilight simply ate her meal in silence, staring into the middle distance and occasionally blinking. After dinner they both made their way to bed. Rainbow only had the one, and she tried to persuade Twilight to use it instead of her, but Twilight had insisted, saying that she wanted a warm body near her. Twilight told Rainbow that she was lonely and it had been hard for her to sleep in the hospital because she was used to Applejack sleeping besides her. It was the first hint about how Twilight was doing that Rainbow had seen, but it seemed fairly trivial, so she relented and crawled into the bed with Twilight. Twilight promptly snuggled up close to her and drifted off, Rainbow quickly following suit.
Rainbow was awoken shortly after they had both drifted off as Twilight began thrashing about and whimpering. She tried holding Twilight's head and gently stroking her mane as she whispered to her that everything was fine. It calmed Twilight, but she still thrashed a bit from time to time, Rainbow still had the bruises to prove it. After trying a few different methods and finding out how the hard way just how strong Twilight was, even after eight years in a coma, forcing Rainbow to relent and stick to simply stroking her mane and trying to soothe the restless pony. Rainbow didn't sleep a wink and spent the night soothing Twilight. The next morning when she brought it up, Twilight denied it, claiming she felt she had slept fine. For the sake of her friend, Rainbow took great pains to hide her bruises and obvious signs of sleep deprivation from Twilight.
It happened the again the night after that, and then Rainbow remembered the old song her mother sang her, before her family had sent her away and disowned her, it was one of the few happy memories she still had of her parents. When she sang it that night as she held Twilight, the restless pony had calmed down, drifting into a peaceful sleep, and allowing Rainbow to sleep peacefully for the first time in too many nights. It had become a nightly thing for her to sing to Twilight whenever the night fears surfaced in Twilight’s mind, snuggling close to her after and holding her tight so she wouldn't feel alone.
~~
Rainbows thoughts returned to the present, a concerned look passing over her face, as she began thinking about the things she had noticed over the week Twilight been living with her. Twilight might look and act like she was holding up fine, but Rainbow had noticed a few signs to hint otherwise. She often found Twilight staring out the window at the sky with a blank face, or she would stop talking mid-sentence and trail off into silence, looking into the middle distance. There were the nightly fits that she had to stop with the lullaby, and there was also the crying when she thought she was alone. The most worrying thing Rainbow noticed was that Twilight would sometimes cry without any change in her face. She would be talking, smiling and looking happy, except for the tears which streamed down her face. She never seemed to notice the tears when this happened, it was the most unnerving thing, and it terrified Rainbow.
Rainbow gently stroked the sleeping Twilight's mane, resolving to talk to her in the morning, before she crawled under the covers and wrapped herself around Twilight like a blanket.
~~
Rainbow didn't get a chance to talk to Twilight until the next night, they’d had a busy day writing to Rarity and Fluttershy and helping Twilight learn to move her wheelchair with help from the leylines the Princesses had woven into the chair to allow movement with a minimal amount of magic. The chance came that night when Rainbow awoke with a start, realizing that Twilight hadn't started her usual thrashing caused by her night terrors. Instead, Twilight was missing completely, Rainbow panicked for a second before she noticed a silhouette, sitting on the balcony and staring up at the sky. She walked over to Twilight and gently lifted her from the wheelchair to the bench next to her, wrapping a hoof around her.
Twilight took a deep shuddering breath, glancing up at the intruder, “Rainbow, where did you come from?”
Rainbow breathed in the night air for a moment before looking back at Twilight, “I'm sorry, I noticed you weren't in bed and I thought you might like some company out here.” Rainbow smiled warmly at Twilight before sighing, “Twilight, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I am worried. You act like you're fine but I can see that you’re not. You drift off, you cry without knowing you are, you lose yourself in the sky constantly. It's worrying me, please let me know what you’re thinking, I could help.” Rainbow gently stroked Twilight's mane as she spoke.
Twilight thought for a second before looking across the balcony again. “Rainbow for you it's been eight long years, but for me it's been the blink of an eye. I went to sleep and woke up in a world I couldn't fathom. I saw you, crippled and in pain, the love of my life gone forever, and my friends had all drifted away. All this happened while I peacefully slept the years away. I woke up a month ago and saw a world that had forgotten about me. I held you back; I wasn't even awake and I took you away from the world. I look at the sky and I wonder if this is how Luna felt when she returned, trapped in a world which had forgotten her and left her behind. I wonder if the world even noticed that I left.” Twilight started sobbing, “I keep pushing you away because I don't want to do this to you… I want you to live your life again. I don't belong in this world, but you do.”
Twilight paused to breathe, steadying herself. “I’ve taken, not just one, but two wonderful ponies from the world. One of them is still alive, but you’re not in the world anymore, not really. I stopped you from moving on with the world and held you here with me. You left this world completely because of my actions and carelessness.”
“The worst part is that I feel like I should be hated. I robbed this village of two wonderful ponies, and nopony even seems to care that it was my fault. Applebloom forgave me, I stole the closest thing to a mother she ever had and she forgave me. She gave me the hat that AJ wore all the time and she forgave me. How can she forgive me? She should hate me. Applebloom should want to kill me, take revenge, but instead she forgives me. Then there's you, you were so loyal to me, but I held you back, your dreams were gone and I held you, with chains of loyalty I didn’t deserve, from finding more while I slept. I wasn't even aware of it but I couldn't let you go, I forced you to watch the world move on while everyone forget us.”
Twilight buried herself in Rainbow's chest as her she sobbed harder, “Then there's this feeling that I failed Her, and instead of hanging onto her memories I find myself moving on. I find myself looking at someone else like I looked at her. I just learnt she died, but it still doesn't seem real and I find that I’m already moving on. I failed her because I constantly stare at the sky, wondering about the easiest way to join her. I want to end my life, but her gift,” Twilight placed a hoof over her chest, “beating in my chest, stops me. I can barely get myself up every morning, I just want to keep sleeping forever, but listening to the beating of her heart reminds me how mad you got and how mad AJ would be at me for these thoughts, and so I drag myself out and plaster on a smile. I feel it beating in my chest, each beat feeling like another link in a chain, tying me to a life I feel I don't deserve, and a life I desperately feel should end. It’s a life that I’m no longer part of, a life that is eight years older than I am and has forgotten me. It's a life that exists without me and yet here I am, forcing myself onto it.”
Rainbow shuddered slightly; she hadn't realized just how hard this was on Twilight. She hadn't stopped to think that she’d had eight years to come to terms with things, but Twilight had done this almost overnight. Everything Rainbow had had time to deal with was only just starting to hit Twilight. She remembered how hard it had been for her and could only imagine how hard this was for Twilight. She pulled Twilight in closer and whispered, “I am sorry.”
Twilight sobbed harder, “Why are you sorry? Everything was my fault. I was careless in my lab and I robbed you of your dreams because of it. I robbed this world of a wonderful pony because of it. I shouldn't be forgiven, yet everyone is so forgiving. I can't stand it, I don't deserve forgiveness. I deserve hatred and loathing, not forgiveness. I am the most powerful unicorn since Starswhirl and I couldn't do anything because I was unconscious. I couldn't save the mare I loved or my best friend, all because I was too stupid to see a world outside my books.” Twilight was nearly hysterical by this point. “Why did the world forget me and you? Why didn't you forget me too and move one? Why did you have to stay and let the world go on without you? I don't deserve you, I don't deserve this life. You deserve so much better, you deserve to live in the world. I stole it from you and I couldn't do anything about it.”
Twilight paused to breathe for a minute before continuing, her voice much quieter now. “Applejack was a better pony than me; she deserved to be here today not me. I can't even perform great magic anymore; the princesses could only give me false magic that allows me the simplest of levitation spells. I can do no more than help myself in and out of the wheelchair and move the wheelchair, without risking my magic forever. I’m useless now, but AJ would have been able to continue on the farm doing paperwork. I lost my home and my job; my dreams have turned into the same ashes as my home. AJ deserves to be here, not me. I should be the one remembered in a statue with nothing but a plaque to let people see who I was, not Applejack.” Twilight's sobbing had resumed full force as she continued pouring out her soul to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow kept stroking her mane, “Twilight, I know it hurts, but it’ll pass eventually. Applejack doesn't deserve to be here anymore than you do, she chose to let you continue because she loved you and wanted to give you the chance. She knew that you would find a place for yourself, even without magic you are a great unicorn. You are a brilliant pony, with or without your magic.” Twilight clutched Rainbow even tighter, and began speaking again.
“What good are the Elements of Harmony with one dead and another who has lost their virtue? I was the protector of harmony and now I am nothing. I am nothing but a weak, crippled, unicorn. You have lost your wings but there is still so much you can do. I lost my magic and my legs and have nothing left. What can I do? I can read books. What a wonder that is. I can do what anypony with an education can do. What am I without my magic and the ability to wield my element?” She clung tightly to Rainbow as she let her soul tumble forth from her eyes and her mouth.
“Twilight, you may not be the Element of Magic any more but you are still Twilight the smartest pony in Equestria today. You are also Twilight Sparkle, the mare I couldn't live without. I lost my dreams with my wings, but after Applejack passed I had a new dream. I dreamed of the day you would wake up and everyone would get together again, and things would be happy again. I told myself that Twilight wouldn't sleep forever and someday we could share the memory of Applejack together.”
“Would you like to know why I kept one wing Twilight?” Twilight nodded slightly. “I kept it because it makes me think of you. I have one wing that is nothing but a stump full of memories, like my feeling for Applejack, the other is a maimed and scarred wing, it may look useless but I can still feel the elements through it. I can tell the weather with it, I can stretch it out and feel the wind in it. It isn't the same wing but it's still there and it helps me remember the things I forgot. That wing is like you, it’s different now, but if you think about it and look at it you can see how great it once was and how great it still is, even though it is so different than before.” Rainbow flared out her remaining wing with barely a wince and flapped it. “This wing is still a wing, even without the ability to do what it once did, and even if it looks ugly it has its own beauty in its ability to survive. It still has the ability to hold things and move them; it can still be useful even though it's lost the ability to do its original functions. It's still a beautiful wing.” Rainbow stroked Twilight's mane lightly, she knew that she had been lying to herself now.
Rainbow knew that every time she had said she wasn't falling for Twilight or that she didn't love Twilight, she had been lying. She could feel it as she spoke, she could feel the warmth in her chest. She could feel the same warmth that had once only appeared whenever she was near Applejack. She knew she couldn't let Twilight know yet, the poor thing had more than enough to deal with.
Rainbow continued, switching away from the topic of her remaining wing. “Twilight the day you woke up, my dream that I had after I lost Applejack began to bear fruit. Now that you’re awake, we can all come together again and remember the times gone by. We can tell you about the world you have missed and the world you’re now in. This world hasn't completely forgotten you yet, there are still those in it who won't let it. Now that you’re up, those who kept you alive in the world can tell you of the years you missed.”
Twilight released her hold of Rainbow Dash and looked up at the sky again. “I don't know Rainbow; I don't feel like I really belong in this world. It’s moved on without me for eight years already, maybe there’s a place in it for me, but I don't know if I want to find it, or if I even have the strength to. Everything I had is gone, eight years has seen to its erasing. All I have left is you and what Applejack left me. The princesses are still here, but even they’ve had to continue without me. Luna is perhaps the only one who can empathize with me, she lost a thousand years. Compared to her, my plight is nothing, but it feels like it’s worse somehow. Luna lost her sister; she didn't have a lot other than that to lose. When she returned, she was never recognized as Princess Luna, but there were still remnants left of what she had done. I left nothing; I have no remnants that I left. My friends left, they moved on and forgot me. They left me like they would a useless tool, it was wonderful and they loved it till it broke.”
Twilight began to weep again, “I’m only in this world because a forgotten pony chained me to it. I love that pony, but who really remembers her? To everyone else she’s a memory and life has moved on. I am the same now, just a memory brought back into the world. I’m a memory with a body that has no place in the world it's been chained to. You tell me that things can be picked up and fixed and we can resume where we left off, but that's impossible. The rest of my life will be spent trying to regain the time I lost, how is that a way to live?” By the time Twilight finished talking she was crying full-on into Rainbow's chest once more.
Rainbow stared at her friend, afraid to speak lest it upset Twilight more, instead, she pulled her in for another hug and kissed her forehead, remaining like that for several minutes until Twilight's crying died down and she had ceased sobbing. “Perhaps you’re right, but what if you chose to not try and regain what you lost, but you choose to start over instead. Begin making new memories with new ponies, restart your friendship studies. Those ponies you once knew are now new ponies for you to get to know. You don't have to try and make up for lost time; you can just continue from where you left off. I’d want you to, but if you don't think you can, let’s just start from square one and get to know the new ponies who you knew in a past life.”
Twilight paused and stared at Rainbow Dash with her tear stained face, “Since when have you been so insightful? You were always so rash and now you have insightful help. Maybe you’re right. You’re not the pony I knew and yet you are.” Twilight pulled Rainbow close and snuggled up to her. “I think I’ll take your advice. I can't shake everything and I still don't know if I can keep living in this new world, but I can try. I can try and meet new ponies and make friends with them. It will be hard since I remember who they once were, but I think if you’re there with me, maybe I can make it. You are one of my reasons for not running away from this new life I’ve been given.”
Rainbow took a deep breath, “Twilight if you feel any of those thoughts again, please tell me. I worry a lot about you right now. I didn't realize how hard things have been for you and the fact you kept it a secret worries me the most. Promise me that the next time you feel like ending it, you’ll talk to me sooner. I’ve waited eight years for you to return and I don't think I could take it if you left me again. I’ve already lost one pony I love… I don't think I could handle losing another. Pinkie Pie, I know wouldn't be able to take it, she took the Applejacks death harder than any of us. So please, if those thoughts plague you again, tell me.”
Twilight smiled at Rainbow, “Of course, you are currently my anchor to the world and I need to trust you. I still love Applejack and I always will… but I can't cling to it, she wouldn't want me to. She’s still here in a way, and even if I don't feel strong enough to keep going, I have you to lean on.”
Rainbow smiled warmly, “That's all I need you to know, if you need a shoulder to cry on or a pony to lean on for support, that's me. I’ve been by your side for eight years, dreaming of the day you would wake up again. I swore that when you awoke, I’d be there for you as Applejack would have been if she was there.” Rainbow gently picked up Twilight again, “Let's get to bed; Fluttershy said she’ll be returning tomorrow in her letter and I think you should be rested for this one. We should also find a way to thank Ditzy Doo for getting our letters out in one day, and managing to bring a letter back with her in the same day too.” She lay Twilight in the bed and crawled in next to her. Twilight snuggled up against her and drifted off.
Rainbow wrapped Twilight in her arms and nuzzled her. She waited until she was sure Twilight was asleep, before whispering to the sleeping mare, “I love you, I see that now. I lost Applejack, but you filled the hole she left, I still love her, but I know she’s gone and you’ve taken a spot next to her in my heart. Please never leave me again.” The sleeping Twilight smiled and snuggled closer in her sleep, the best sleep she’d had since she woke up.
Chapter 6
Chapter Six
“Twilight, are you ready for this?” Rainbow sat beside Twilight at the train station, watching a train approaching from the distance.
“I don't know Rainbow. Seeing her after eight years, it feels weird. You and Pinkie were there when I woke up so I didn't have a choice, but with her… I don't know if I can do it.” Twilight fidgeted nervously in her wheelchair as the train got closer. “I’m really nervous about this, she’s always been the most emotional. You told me Big Mac was coming and that worries me too. Has he forgiven me yet or will he if he hasn’t?”
Rainbow grinned, “Don't worry, you’ll love it and you will love seeing Flutters again, and Big Mac has forgiven you.”
Twilight shifted in her chair, “It's one thing to forgive me while I am a memory and another to forgive me face to face.”
The train pulled into the station and came to a stop. The doors seemed to open in slow motion to Twilight. She started hyperventilating a bit, unsure of what to expect. She certainly didn't expect to find herself and her wheelchair lying flat on the floor, with a very happy and very teary eyed yellow pegasus on top of them.
“TWILIGHT!”
Twilight couldn't understand the rest of what the yellow pegasus said through her tears. Twilight was unsure of what to say and tentatively spoke. “Hi Fluttershy, it's been awhile.” Twilight gently stroked the pink mane as Fluttershy buried herself in her chest. “How are you, you been doing alright? Rainbow tells me you and Big Mac are together now.” Fluttershy took some deep breaths and smiled up at Twilight as Big Mac righted the wheelchair and Twilight together.
“Twilight, when you, Rainbow and Applejack were hurt in your library it was the worst day of my life, and when I got your letter yesterday it was one of the greatest days ever.” Fluttershy pulled her face out of Twilight's chest and looked her square in the eyes. “The first greatest day was when I married Big Mac. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up but it hurt too much to stay here in Ponyville. Oh did Rainbow tell you? I told her I wanted it to be a surprise.” Fluttershy's face lit up to Twilight’s utter bewilderment. “I know you love kids Twilight and I thought it might cheer you up.” Fluttershy turned to Big Mac and nodded her head then turned to a quizzical Twilight.
Fluttershy beamed at Twilight and motioned two small fillies over to her from behind Big Mac. The first one was an earth pony, the same color as Fluttershy, and the second was a pegasus, as rust-red as Big Mac. “This is Honeysuckle and Honeycrisp. Honeysuckle is my earth pony daughter and Honeycrisp is my pegasi son.” She patted them on their heads respectively before turning to a slowly approaching Big Mac with a smile and leant against him.
Twilight sat, dumbfounded. Not only was Fluttershy married to Big Mac, but she was a mother now. It also seemed like motherhood had done wonders for her shyness. She hadn't seen any signs of the Fluttershy who used to apologize all the time and hide behind her mane. She never thought she would see Fluttershy openly show affection in public either, but there she was, leaning on Big Mac, her husband. Twilight sat still, silently moving her mouth as she thought about how things had changed so much, before sighing and passing out.
Rainbow looked over Fluttershy’s shoulder at Twilight, “Oh wow Fluttershy, I didn’t expect that to happen. Maybe we should have warned her about you and Big Mac. Or maybe I shoulda warned her about how much you’ve changed, or the kids for that matter.” Rainbow walked up to Twilight's wheelchair and began to push her away from the train station with a slightly guilty look. “That smile she has is amazing; I don't think I have seen her smile like that since her parents were here.” Rainbow sighed, “It's good to see she can still smile like that, I was getting worried, especially since our conversation last night.”
Fluttershy looked at Rainbow with a bemused expression, “Rainbow what conversation would that be? Is Twilight alright?”
Rainbow sighed, “Yes, no, I’m not sure. She was acting normal for so long and I didn't notice anything until she started staying with me.”
Fluttershy gave Rainbow her famous stare. “Rainbow you should be ashamed, she’s lost almost everything and you were the only one who stayed. I would expect you to at least think about how she is feeling. This can't be easy for her, and you know how she likes to take things on by herself.”
Rainbow got a guilty look. “Yea, I kinda got so wrapped up in her being awake and how happy I was, that I didn't pay attention to how she might have been, mentally speaking. Sorry doesn't cut it but I really am. I should have paid more attention.” Rainbow and Fluttershy didn't notice that Twilight had woken up and was listening to them while pretending to remain passed out. “I mean I waited eight years to see her open her eyes again and when it did happen, I was just so happy that I might have handled things badly, I should have paid more attention to what might be going on in her head.”
“I made a few mistakes and I just felt so bad that I had trouble facing her; first I let her find out about Applejack and her Library on day one. Not to mention she met Applebloom and learnt how long she’d been… out from that meeting. I probably should have been open with everything right away, but I just wanted to pick up where things left off. That was my biggest mistake. Part of me thought it might be better for her if we pretended it hadn't been that long, then it would be easier on her, but I was dead wrong about that. Then I made the mistake of not being there for her enough, because of how ashamed I was, and that caused me to miss things I should have been able to see. That last one was a huge mistake that I am trying to fix by having her stay with me.”
Fluttershy continued giving Rainbow the look. “Are you blaming yourself for something again Rainbow? We talked about all this already. You know it's not your fault and that there are those who are still here for you. Applejack isn't here to save you this time, so don't go down that road again.”
“I know Fluttershy, don't worry. I won't be leaving Twilight alone. I feel bad about how I’ve handled things, but I know that I need to just do better and not blame myself. I won't be trying anything like that again so don't worry.
Everyone jumped as Twilight spoke up, “What are you guys talking about, what did Applejack do for you Rainbow?” Twilight had a slightly scared expression on her face as she looked imploringly at Rainbow. “Rainbow, what’s Fluttershy talking about? What did you try to do? How does it involve Applejack? Did you do something horrible and why would we worry about you trying it again?””
Rainbow fidgeted a bit before sighing. “When I first woke and found out what happened and what I lost, I grew very despondent. After Applejack's final day was declared I slipped over the edge into depression. I grew reclusive and would have starved myself to death if Applejack hadn't defied the doctors and left the hospital to find me. She was pretty far gone by then and could barely move, but she hunted me down and got me some help. She saved me from myself and what would have been the worst thing I possibly could have done.” Rainbow looked in the direction of Applejack's statue. “I owe her so much, and I didn't even let her say goodbye. I wish that I could change that, not out of regret, but because she deserved the chance to say goodbye.”
Rainbow felt a hoof take hers and smiled as the purple hoof squeezed hers. “She knows how you feel Rainbow, she knew then too. That's why she went to such lengths to save you from yourself. I sometimes think she could even see the honesty and dishonesty of the actions around her. I used to feel that she was far more insightful than most of us thought, like our very actions told her more than our mouths.” Twilight followed Rainbows gaze, “It's part of why I loved her, and Rainbow. Thank you for sharing, I know you don't think I need to know everything about the last eight years but I still want to know about what my friends did. The good and the bad, it makes me feel like I might have a place here sometimes.”
Twilight's eyes began to get tear up. “Applejack was so hopeful for my return, she made sure that I would have somepony there for me when I woke up. Pinkie probably kept me alive as well in some way, probably with laughter knowing her, but sometimes I don't know if a place exists for me here anymore, and sometimes when I hear the past, I think that maybe a hole was kept open for me to fill.” Twilight squeezed Rainbows hoof harder and leant her head back and rubbed it against Rainbows chin.
Fluttershy cleared her throat, “Sorry to interrupt this tender moment, but you two have an audience.” The two fillies in Twilight's lap were looking up at the two of them, the fillies with wonderment and Fluttershy with a slight blush. Twilight turned a light crimson color, and pulled her hoof away from Rainbows, leaning forward. “So Rainbow, where were we going? Was it to see Pinkie Pie?”
Rainbow smiled, shaking her head to get her thoughts in order again, “Yep, we were.”
Twilight turned and looked at Big Mac, “So you and Fluttershy? I wish I’d been there to see the wedding. I bet it was a wonderful wedding. I’m sorry that your sister couldn't...” Twilight's voice cracked a little bit, “I am sorry about your sister in general. I wanted to tell you right away about our relationship, but she didn't want to. I hope you can forgive me for everything that happened.”
Big Mac turned and looked her square in the eyes, stopped Rainbow with a hoof. “Eeyup,” He then wrapped Twilight in a massive hug. “I forgive ya. Tweren't yer fault and Ah don't blame ya.” Big Mac said as he hugged Twilight. Twilight's eyes teared up a bit more as she returned the hug.
“I really am sorry Big Mac, she was a wonderful mare and she deserved so much more than she got. I wish I could bring her back for us, but even magic can't do that.” Twilight took a shuddering breath as her tears started falling. “I know I shouldn't cling to her and what I felt for her, but it's hard. It feels so sudden to me. If Celestia could hear me thinking about even attempting something like reviving her, she’d be livid. Though some part of me knows it’s dumb, she’s not really gone, not from my memories.” Twilight smiled at everyone present and pulled them in for hug.
“Oohh a group hug and no one invited me? That's not very nice at all, I love hugs and smiles and I love sharing them with other people.” Everyone looked up at Pinkie, who was pouting with her smile barely suppressed, and burst out laughing. “Sorry Pinkie, come on over and join us, there's room for you in here too.” Twilight said, reaching out with a hoof as Pinkie bounced up and pulling her into the hug. “So is anyone else hungry, because I could really use something to eat.” Twilight broke the hug as she looked at everyone present. “Let's head over to Sugarcube Corner and get something to eat.”
~~
They had finished lunch and were gathered at Applejack's statue, they’d left Big Mac and the foals at the park on the way. They’d said that they liked the park, but Twilight suspected that it had more to do with the fact that they were talking to a gravestone.
Fluttershy was in front of the statue and Rainbow was behind Twilight again, at her post of wheelchair pusher. “So Applejack,” Fluttershy began, “it's been a while since I visited, Big Mac and the kids are fine, he’s like putty in our foals hooves though. Rarity should be coming by soon as well; I bet she is going to be so excited to see Twilight up and about again.” Fluttershy smiled and looked at Rainbow, “You have anything to say?”
Rainbow shook her head, “Naw I visited her pretty recently I think we should just leave Twilight with her for a bit.”
Twilight nodded her assent, “If you wouldn’t mind.”
Twilight watched them head over to a bench to give her some alone time. “Hey Applejack, I guess this is the first time I’ve visited. I don't think that first time really counts.” Twilight sat in her chair looking up at Applejack’s stone eyes. “I don't know why I decided to drop by, I mean really to me you just left.” Twlight looked over at Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, the two of them talking on the bench. “I don't think this is a goodbye it feels more like visit to an old friend. I don't think I could this without them present though, it would hurt too much.” “
“This feels weird, you’re just a statue, but they think talking to you will help me. How can an unresponsive statue help me? Well anyway maybe it will feel good to get this out there. I miss you. I miss you more than I thought I would Applejack. This past month has been horrible; I’ve spent most of it brooding about outliving you. It didn't help that you chose to leave me. I’ve spent a lot of time hating you as well, I loved you and then you did this to me.” She pointed at her chest and breathed in deeply to emphasize the point.
“You chained me to this life that I don't want; you forced me to live without you. I talked to Rainbow about this, and I still feel like I should be dead. You chained me here and then left me to live my life without you. But the worst thing this, this whole sordid affair, is that I still love you, and we can’t talk things over with one another again. We can't come to an agreement now; we can't make up and make amends. I wanted to apologize to you for so many things, but you left me with no way to do it.” Twilight moved herself closer to the statue.
“You left me two things, chains and memories. I want to hate you for it and to kill myself to spite you, but I promised Rainbow I wouldn't. I won't forgive you for giving me these chains but I do still love you, and maybe I’ll be able to forgive you one day, but right now I don't think you even deserve my visits.” Twilight looked at the statue and began to cry silently. “But I can't even do that to you, because even though I hate what you gave me and what you did to me, you were still the greatest thing that ever happened to me. So thank you for the wonderful time we had together, it meant the world to me.” Twilight turned her chair around and headed over to Rainbow and Fluttershy who looked up at Twilight as she arrived.
“So, feel any better?” Rainbow asked her immediately.
“A little bit. I don't know why but I do feel a little better. So Fluttershy, mind if I ask why you left Ponyville?” Twilight asked, changing the subject from her feelings as soon as she could.
Fluttershy lowered her head and began to walk towards Rainbows apartment. “Well Twilight, to be honest, you’re the reason.” Twilight zoned out for a moment before listening again, Rainbow still pushing her along. “-hurt too much to stay here, same for Big Mac. We both decided after the wedding, that to move on we needed a change of scenery. I could barely walk around Ponyville without crying and Big Mac just didn't know what to do without Applejack anymore.”
Fluttershy looked at the sky, “We both decided that we wanted to keep doing something we knew, and the only other apple orchard close enough to Ponyville to make monthly visits possible was Apploosa. We got married here in Ponyville three months after AJ passed away, then we left.” Fluttershy turned and looked at Twilight helplessly. “I visited every month with Rarity and Spike, but I left here so I could move on and stop hurting so much.”
Twilight looked at Fluttershy and smiled. Her smile froze as she saw something behind the yellow pegasus. “Spike?” Rainbow and Fluttershy followed her gaze to a purple dragon with green spikes that had just dropped a bunch of luggage in the middle of the street.
The dragon slowly turned towards them. “Twilight?”
Twilight grabbed her wheelchair from Rainbow and took off in the direction of the dragon, tears streaming from her eyes. “SPIKE!” The dragon took off at the same time, running as fast as his legs would carry him and they met in the middle, embracing each other for the first time in eight years.
Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Twilight and Spike sat in Rainbow’s living room, looking at each other but unsure of what to say. Spike had missed Twilight, but he still felt horrible for running away from Twilight and not visiting her until Rarity had made him, meanwhile Twilight was just trying not to break into tears again. Spike was the first one to break the silence. “I’m sorry Twilight, I should have been there for you like Rainbow was. I shouldn’t have run away from you.” Twilight took a second to reply.
“What, no Spike. It’s fine, you must have been really hurt and scared by what happened.” Twilight paused and chewed her lip. “I made a promise to you and then I got hurt and broke it. You were scared and hurt and I bet you didn’t think there was anything here for you. I can’t blame you for running away, I don’t blame anyone else for doing that so why would I blame you for doing it.” Twilight took a shuddering breath and started to cry a little. “What happened was horrible and you are still young, err were young, and didn’t know what to do. You’ve never been good with dealing with your emotions, just like me.”
Spike wrapped his arms around Twilight and pulled her close. “It’s okay Twilight, you’re up now and we’re here for you. All of us, you’re not alone in this struggle. We can move on from there, everyone can get together like we used and be friends.” Spike held Twilight tight as his tears began. “You’re back, that’s what matters right now.” They fell asleep holding each other tightly.
Rainbow Dash looked at Spike and Twilight sleeping on the couch and marveled at how much larger Spike had gotten. “She looks like one of those giant dolls you get at a carnival in his arms.” She chuckled to herself as she walked up and covered them in a blanket and headed to bed herself.
~~
Spike woke up first to find Twilight curled up on his chest like a cat sleeping contentedly, he gently ran a claw through her mane, remembering how he used to sleep on Twilight’s back before her accident. His eyes teared up as his thoughts drifted back to that fateful day, the day he lost his sister, his mother.
~~
“Twilight, is she alright? Applejack, Rainbow Dash, are they okay?” Spike stood in the waiting room in front of Rarity in hysterics. He had seen the cloud from the library all the way over at Fluttershy’s cottage and taken off as fast as he could. When he found that the library was toppled and Applejack, Twilight and Rainbow had been sent to the hospital he took off at speeds that would have impressed Rainbow Dash. He met Rarity there and she’d scooped him up in a massive hug. Usually this would have sent him to cloud nine… but not today, the hug felt different. It felt sad, like she wanted to protect him from something.
“Spike dear, it’s... it’s…“ Rarity couldn’t finish and broke into tears, grabbing him in a tight hug again. He couldn’t remember ever seeing Rarity like this before, it worried him a lot. He watched Fluttershy walk in and approach a doctor coming out of the ICU. He watched them talk and then Fluttershy suddenly sit down. He couldn’t tell what he was seeing but it worried him.
Fluttershy walked over but barely, she swayed from side to side bumping into things. When she reached him and Rarity she placed a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder and then just collapsed, large sobs wracking across her frame. She wasn’t making any noise, just shaking with hard sobs into the floor.
Spike panicked as she collapsed and started screaming. “SOMEPONY TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIBRARY? WHERE’S TWILIGHT AND APPLEJACK AND RAINBOW? SOMEPONY, anypony, please tell me what’s going on.” He tailed off towards the end as Doctor Horse walked up.
“Would you three please come with me, I think we need to talk. If you have any other friends who should be informed I can send a nurse for them.” Rarity looked at the doctor and told him that Pinkie, down at Sugarcube Corner, should be brought in. “Alright.” he motioned to the nurse at the reception desk and whispered to her to send a message. “While we wait for her, could you three please follow me to my office where we can talk in private?”
Rarity nudged Fluttershy and put Spike on her back. She helped Fluttershy up and followed the doctor. Spike just sat, confused and afraid. He could feel something was off and everypony’s reaction just worried him even more.
It took fifteen minutes for Pinkie to show up, she seemed a little somber to Spike and he didn’t like it. Pinkie was always happy, except on really rare occasions. This wasn’t even her usual sad, it was more like she knew it was coming and she was trying to deny it, even though she knew it was happening.
“So your three friends were in an accident,” the doctor paused and pulled out a box of tissues. “And there’s no easy way to say this, but Twilight is in a coma, Rainbow Dash is going to lose at least one wing and her other doesn’t look good, and Applejack is currently in a coma and is in a critical condition.” He paused to let it sink in, a small tear in one eye.
“Hey doc, what’s a coma?” Spike looked at the doctor with a worried look.
“Well it’s a little bit like sleeping,” the doctor paused for a second trying to think of how to explain it to the baby dragon. “But instead of getting up in the morning, they won’t. There is no way to determine if they will wake up at any point in time. They might wake up in a week, or they may stay that way till the day they die.”
Spike looked at the doctor. “So she’s gonna be okay? Twilight and Applejack will be okay?” Spike knew he was young and could be naive but the looks everyone gave him told him he was being foolish. “I take it that’s not the case, is it?” He looked at everyone around him; each one looked like they wanted nothing more than for him to be right. “No. Twilight’ll be fine. SHE WOULDN’T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, SHE PROMISED ME.” Spike’s voice rose as he shouted, then he turned to run through the door to look for her, only to be stopped by Rarity.
“Spike, she doesn’t want to, but she has no choice in this matter. It isn’t her fault this has happened, all we can do right now is pray for everypony involved. I know you love her, but there is nothing any pony can do, she will wake up when she does.” Rarity had finally composed herself and was holding the sobbing Fluttershy while she talked gently to Spike. “It’s going to be hard but you must know she is not abandoning you in any way. I won’t say she will be come back but she isn’t doing this to hurt you. She wouldn’t do that and you know it.” She wrapped a hoof around him and pulled Spike into the embrace.
“We can’t let you visit them today, but you should be able to visit Applejack and Twilight tomorrow. Rainbow Dash will need more time; we will let you know when she is ready for visitors.” Doctor Horse stood up and opened the door to his office. “I am so sorry about what has happened and we are doing everything we can. If you need anything, let us know.”
Rarity held spike and gently led Fluttershy out of the office, before they went to the Carousel Boutique to wait for tomorrow.
~~
Spike’s thoughts returned to the present and he stared at Twilight, gently sleeping on his chest. “I am so sorry that I never visited any of you. I am sorry that I ran away on that first night, I was so foolish to run away rather than face what had happened.” Spike watched as Twilight slowly woke up as he stroked her mane.
“Spike, mmm, I missed you. I was so afraid to face you. I promised you I wouldn’t leave, then I left without a word. I hope you can forgive me.” Twilight murmured in her sleepy state. Spike giggled as he watched her talk in her sleep. He put his head close and whispered. “I forgive you. I did that many years ago.” Twilight’s eyes shot open and she slipped off his chest, fully awake now.
“Oh Sweet Celestia, where, what?” She looked at Spike and her face split into a huge grin. “Spike, you scared me.” Spike smiled at her and sat up.
“Sorry you were talking in your sleep and I couldn’t resist. Sleep talking is always when you’re the most honest, so I find it’s the best time to keep an open ear.” Spike leant down and scooped her up, placing her gently in her wheelchair.
“You have grown so much Spike, I remember when you so much smaller. I used to scoop you up and carry you around on my back, now we’ve reversed positions.” She chuckled a bit, “So are you gonna make breakfast like you used to, you used to make the greatest pancakes. Should I wake Rainbow while you do?”
“For you Twilight, your number one assistant will always make breakfast and yeah, go get her and clean yourself up while I cook.” Spike turned to the kitchen hiding the flash of regret that crossed his face.
~~
Twilight rolled herself down the hall as quietly as she could, she loved waking Rainbow. She opened her door slowly, poking her head in first. She was startled she saw Rainbow kicking about in the bed, she looked like she was having a nightmare. She quickly made her way over and placed her hoof onto Rainbow’s chest, only for Rainbow to grab it a moment later, still fast asleep. “Shh, shh, Rainbow. It’s okay.” Twilight paused as Rainbow calmed down, then blushed deeply and extracted her hoof from Rainbows’ own.
“Twilight, please don’t go. I need you here, I was so lost without AJ and you were my light in the dark.” Rainbow rolled over mumbling in her sleep, facing Twilight now.
Twilight blushed and checked to make sure Rainbow was sound asleep. “I won’t, I miss AJ too and with all that has happened, you’ve become my anchor and beacon as well. I feel bad for doing this to AJ, it almost feels like cheating on her but...” Twilight paused mid-sentence and kissed the sleeping Rainbow gently, “you have become more than a friend to me.” Then Twilight sat up and composed herself before grabbing the sheets and flipping Rainbow out of bed.
“Huh, what? OW. What the heck? Oh hey Twi, couldn’t you have been a bit gentler waking me up?” Twilight snickered and stuck her tongue out as she wheeled herself into the restroom. Rainbow placed her hoof to her lips. “Huh, why are they all tingly?” Rainbow shrugged, stretching before she wandered down to the kitchen.
~~
Spike was trying to distract himself by baking but he was so used to it nowadays that it wasn’t working like he hoped. He instead found himself back in the past, the time Rarity had found him in Canterlot.
~~
Spike was running an errand for the royal archives when he heard a squeal and froze. It had been years since he had last heard that sound and he did not like the memories it brought up. He slowly turned to see the white unicorn with the purple mane. “Hi Rarity, it’s been awhile.” He said sheepishly.
“SPIKE, YOU LITTLE... oh who am I kidding.” Rarity ran up and tackled Spike in a hug. “It’s so great to see you. It’s been what, five years now?” Rarity let go off Spike and helped him up. “So what have you been doing since... these last five years? Are you serving the Princesses or just doing odd jobs around the castle? Might I add you have grown resplendently. I remember how small you used to be, you’re starting to look more like an adult dragon these days,. It’s quite impressive.”
“Mostly odd jobs. I, umm, kinda avoid the Princesses, they bring up unwanted memories.” Spike sighed and hoped she’d get the hint. He’d spent five years running from that night and he wasn’t going to let her ruin it for him now. He was happy here, not as happy as... okay he was at least doing fine for himself. Why now and why today? He had been reminded of Twilight all over the place today and now here was his old crush. He just couldn’t get a break.
“Oh I am sorry Spike, is it really that hard. She really...” Spike interrupted Raritry, shouting at the top of his voice and drawing the stares of the ponies around them,
“NO. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. I JUST CAN’T RARITY, SO DROP IT.” Spike took off running, completely forgetting his errands.
~~
Spikes’ reminiscing was interrupted by Rainbow Dash. “What smells so good in here Spike? Are you making your secret pancakes?” Rainbow smiled at him.
“Sadly not, just normal pancakes since you don’t have the secret ingredient.” Spike smiled at Rainbow, “So, how has she been since waking up?”
Rainbow paused for a second, worried about whether she should tell him the truth. She decided to since not being honest had caused a lot of problems already. “Honestly Spike, not as well as she lets on. She has a great mask, but underneath it I think it is taking everything she has just to hold it together. She has these moments and then the rest of the time she seems fine. I don’t know if she’s okay or just coping with it all really badly.”
Rainbow walked to the sink and started washing her hoofs. “I didn’t see it at first because I let things get to me like before, but after I started paying more attention, it became obvious. She is hurting a lot and I worry every time somepony comes back to her. I worry that each old face having changed so much will send her over the edge and she won’t be able to take it anymore. She told me that she often thinks of suicide, I got her to promise to talk to me if she has those thoughts again, but I worry she won’t and I won’t catch it soon enough.”
Rainbow walked over and grabbed some berries out of the fridge, bringing them to the sink and started washing them. “I hope that I am enough for her, but I don’t know if I am. I know she is hiding something from me and it worries me a lot. I’m really worried about it but I can’t get her to tell me. To be honest I think you being here is the greatest thing for her. She used to tell you things she would tell nopony else. If Rarity was here that would be even better, no offense big boy but Rarity really was everyone’s confidante.”
Spike shrugged, “I know, I’ve been Rarity’s assistant for 3 years now. She listens to everyone and keeps secrets better than any pony. I swear, I think some of her customers use her services simply so they have somepony to spill their secrets to who won’t blab them.”
“Heh, I can see that. So if you’re here, does that mean that she got the letter?” Rainbow started cutting the larger berries.
“Yeah, she sent me ahead to prepare the store. Though with recent events I think there was more to it. She fainted when she got the letter and then wouldn’t let me read it, instead sending me straight here to prepare the store for her return.” Spike poured out the first pancakes into the pan as he talked.
“She always was sneaky and tried to move things along at a faster pace. Even if it wasn’t always for the best, it usually worked out for her. She always has everyone else in her thoughts before her own.” Rainbow pulled out a jug of whipping cream and poured it into a bowl before starting to beat it. “Did you know Twilight sometimes talks about you during her episodes? Honestly I think it’s the only mention of you she made. I would sometimes hear her on the balcony dictating a letter. Like she used to do, back before… all of this. She would even make sure you were spelling it all right and everything, it was a little scary and cute at the same time.”
Spike paused in mid scoop of a pancake before continuing. “Really? That sounds like she was stuck in the past, reliving memories. We should keep an eye on that, it might be nothing, but it could be a bad sign. I wonder if it’ll get better now that I’m back, or if it’ll at least improve a little. She might be slipping down a dangerous road though.”
“I agree. She has trouble accepting the time difference and I think, even if she hasn’t admitted it, that she expected you here or at least to show up quickly. I don’t want you to feel bad or blame yourself, but I think she was hurt a lot and couldn’t bear to see that you were gone.” Rainbow turned and nearly dropped the whipped cream as Twilight entered.
“Actually it was because I felt guilty. When you told me I was doing that, I knew what it was about. It was guilt about Spike, what happened and how I’d hurt him. I broke my promise to Spike and it was eating me up inside. I didn’t know what I was going to do when I saw him again; the thought of him hating me for breaking the promise was too hard to think about. I had the conversation about his longevity a lot and I had promised him that I would be there for him till the end of my life. I broke that promise to him and it hurt me a lot, how could I do that to my brother, my son, my family.” Twilight sat just outside the kitchen still a little wet from her shower; there were fresh tears on her face.
Spike walked past Rainbow and handed her the spatula as he passed her. As he reached Twilight he wrapped her in a massive hug. “I am the one who should be sorry, I was foolish and scared back then. You didn’t break your promise by yourself. I helped when I ran away from Ponyville. You promised me you wouldn’t leave me and then you slipped into a coma and I left you. You didn’t break your promise, I did. I love you Twilight and I regret what I did eight years ago every day.” Spike released Twilight and knelt in front of her.
“I might never have forgiven myself or ever visited you if it hadn’t been for Rarity. We both owe her a lot, more than you know and more than I can ever repay her for. I ran away the night of your accident and hid in Canterlot for five years. I didn’t visit you once until Rarity showed up, she was in town for a fashion show when she found me. She cancelled it and forced me to visit you, and it was her greatest gift to me. I have spent the last three years as her assistant visiting you with her once a month. She brought us together after everything. I will always be your brother and family Twilight.” He hugged her again.
“So you’re no longer my assistant then, you’re hers? Aren’t you afraid of leaving me alone?” Twilight didn’t cry but smiled a little.
“No and I’m not leaving you alone, you have somepony else by your side to care for you. I will be there for you but not as an assistant anymore.” Spike hugged Twilight again.
“Somehow that doesn’t feel as bad as I would have thought. I don’t have a place for an assistant anymore. The library is gone and with it a piece of the life I had. I have someone else by my side right now, and you can now be just family to me. You always were family and sometimes it made me feel guilty about the assistant thing. I won’t have to now because you’re just my family now.” Twilight wrapped her hooves around Spike and hugged him lovingly.
“I hate to be a buzzkill but breakfast is ready.” Rainbow placed a plate of pancakes on the table and everyone joined her at the table. It looked like a family settling down to breakfast to talk about their plans and expectations for the day. Something none of them paid heed to because they were all content, sitting together like this. Two of them had been waiting for a moment like this for eight years and the other felt something she hadn’t thought she ever would, not even with the mare she had been dating before. That thought passed through her mind, but for some reason this time the thoughts of moving past her marefriend didn’t bother her.
Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Rarity sat in the train car, fidgeting with the letter she’d received a few days ago. It held the greatest news she had had in eight years. She was even moving back to Ponyville in light of this news, she had sent Spike ahead to prepare her shop and hopefully to see her again. Her thoughts stuck on Spike, she remembered their meeting three years ago. It had been on the anniversary of Twilight’s accident and she had been in Canterlot for the fashion show and the benefit.
~~
Rarity was walking down the street to visit Pony Joe’s donut shop; she made a point of it whenever she came to Canterlot. She and him always talked about Twilight and ate her favorite donuts. It was weird but he knew her quite well since she had spent a lot of study time in his shop. She turned a corner and couldn’t believe her eyes, Spike was walking down the street in her direction.
“SPIKE, YOU LITTLE... oh who am I kidding. It’s so great to see you. It’s been what, five years now?” She ran up and gave him a hug. “So what have you been doing since... these last five years? Are you serving the Princesses or just doing odd jobs around the castle? Might I add you have grown resplendently. I remember how small you used to be, you’re starting to look more like an adult dragon these days. It’s quite impressive.”
Spike looked at her, confused for a second before smiling a little, “Mostly odd jobs. I, umm, kinda avoid the Princesses, they bring up unwanted memories.” Rarity looked at him; he clearly didn’t want to talk about Twilight. “Oh I am sorry Spike, is it really that hard. She really...” She was interrupted as Spike exploded at her “NO. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. I JUST CAN’T RARITY, SO DROP IT.”
Rarity watched him run off down the street, she felt horrible. She could clearly see he didn’t want to talk about it but she had to at least try and reassure him. She looked at where he had gone and decided that she would get him to visit Twilight before she left Canterlot. First though, she had to cancel the fashion show, this was more important.
~~
Rarity was shaken from her trip down memory lane by the caterer “Would you like some lunch miss?”
“Yes, do you serve daisy sandwiches with hay fries?” Rarity answered quickly.
“We do.” The caterer pulled out her order from his cart and passed it over in exchange for some bits, then continued on his way. Rarity returned to her thoughts and ate slowly.
~~
“You want to cancel the show, but why? You hold this show every year and the work is always considered your best.” Fancy Pants had nearly choked on his tea when Rarity had declared that she would not be attending her show.
“A dear friend of mine is here and he needs my help. The show would only serve to distract me and I can’t afford it. My friend was hurt in the past and even I can’t heal his wounds myself, I can certainly try and help him through this, and for that I need apply myself completely to the task.” Rarity sat calmly drinking her tea. “I am not saying cancel the show; just say that I won’t be attending. I know it is unheard of for the designer to miss her own show, but this is more important to me.”
“If you don’t attend, we may as well cancel the show. Everypony is expecting to talk to you and discuss the newest fashion line with you.” Fancy Pants had put his tea down and was returning Rarity’s stare “I must insist that you attend, maybe you could bring along your friend too, you throw this charity show and ball every year and for you not to attend, whatever the circumstances, would be ludicrous.”
“I understand that but this task is far more important, and it is not something that can be done whilst I am talking to a hundred other ponies, all vying for my attention. To reunite this family would be far greater than any charity ball I could throw.” Rarity took a deep breath. “You have always been the one who puts everything together so I know you can handle it alone. I will not be attending and that is final.” Fancy Pants readied a rebuttal but was silenced by Rarity. “I said that was the final word, I will not be attending the charity functions Fancy and there is nothing you can say to change my mind.”
~~
Her mind returned to the present with the announcement of the trains’ arrival to Ponyville. She looked out the window and noted a lack of anyone to greet her, she smiled a bit. “I see he has more important things to attend to. I guess it was good to send him ahead, I do hope he finished cleaning the boutique.” Rarity sighed as she left the train.
She took her luggage in her magic and made her way through the empty streets of Ponyville. It was still too early for anyone to be up and about. She noticed a few stalls setting up for the coming day, her gaze falling on the spot which Applejack used to take and she sighed. “Eight years sure has changed things, it’s like any other morning around here. I wonder how many ponies still remember you Applejack?” She watched as a watchmaker pulled his cart into the spot and began setting up before moving on.
She passed by Sugarcube corner and let the smell of the early morning baking encompass her, making her pause. “I see you every year and yet it always feels like so much longer. I do hope you’re holding up Pinkie, you took things pretty hard when we all began to leave.” If she had been looking closer, she might have noticed the pink mare in the window, watching her walk away.
She paused one last time before making it to her Boutique to look at the statue that stood where the library once was. “Hey Applejack, I’m back. I’ll stop by for a visit later.” She finished her stroll and paused at the door of her Boutique.
“It’s been just shy of seven years since I last came here.” Rarity murmured to herself, looking at the boutique with nostalgia evident in her gaze. “It looks just like it did when I left, I am glad I never sold it, there are so many memories here.” As Rarity walked up and unlocked the door, she began humming an old tune she used to sing while she sewed. It brought back some fond memories for her as well as some which were not so fond.
She opened the door and smiled as the bell rang, remembering her old slogan. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique.” She smiled faintly as her voice echoed in the empty shop, then she sighed and looked around. “At least Spike managed to clean up before he met her. I do hope that went well for him.” She placed her luggage in a corner and went to the kitchen, opening her drinks cabinet. “Oh thank Celestia, he bought tea.” She set about making herself a morning cup of tea, her thoughts returning to Canterlot three years ago.
~~
She spent the rest of the day trying to find Spike and didn’t find anything until late afternoon, when she saw him in a bookstore. She smiled with relief and entered the bookstore. “Welcome, I’ll be with you in a second, feel free to look around while you wait.” Spike spoke up, his back to the door as the bell above Rarity jingled.
“I think I can wait Spike, I am here to talk to you anyway.” Spike froze at the sound of her voice, keeping still as Rarity walked down the aisle where Spike had been shelving some inventory and sitting next to him. “So you’re working in a bookstore, I thought you said you were doing odd jobs at the castle.”
Spike exhaled heavily, “I don’t want to talk Rarity, today was hard enough for me. I have already had far too many reminders of things I wanted to forget. You do it every year with your charity fashion show full of lavender and pink followed by a charity ball in her honor. This year though… it hurts more than usual. I don’t know if it’s the bookstore job or seeing Twilight’s family or seeing you again, but I just want to finish and go hide in my apartment.” Spike’s eyes began to get watery as memories of Twilight started to swim through his head.
“I am so sorry Spike, I didn’t know. I do the show and the ball to keep her memory alive. I don’t have a lot of time to visit her, I try to at least once a month but it’s really hard. So I throw the show and the ball to keep her memory alive and to honor her in Canterlot. I know you probably just want to forget and move on, but the fact you found a job at a bookstore tells me you don’t really want to. Even though you were hurt by what happened, you wanted to remember her. I know you don’t want to hear this but if you’ll let me, I want to take you to Ponyville to see her. You don’t have to answer today but please consider it. I’ll be at Pony Joe’s donut shop for lunch until I leave Canterlot again, meet me there if you decide what you want to do.
~~
The whistling of Rarity’s teapot brought her out of her reverie; she pulled the kettle off the stove, brewed her tea and went out into the main room, drinking her tea as she surveyed the shop. She couldn’t help but smile as she remembered all the good times she’d had with her friends here.
She wandered over to her luggage and pulled a lavender blanket out and ran it through her hooves. “I hope Twilight likes it.” She said to herself, putting it carefully over an old armchair and looking at the clock, it was still early so she decided to get a little rest.
~~
Rarity woke a few hours later to the sound of the shops’ bell. She slowly got up, stretching and yawning before heading to the restroom to make herself presentable. As she made her way downstairs the voices of Spike, Twilight and Rainbow drifted up to her ears and she smiled. She could hardly believe she was hearing Twilight’s voice again, even with the letter in advance; she tried to stifle her tears but only made them worse.
She turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs and stood there, looking at her guests who hadn’t noticed her yet. She saw Spike with a smile she hadn’t seen him wear in eight years, she saw Rainbow and Twilight stood next to each other. She smiled as she watched Rainbow and Twilight; they stayed close to one another and made contact often. Rainbow leaned towards Twilight and Twilight leaned towards Rainbow. She noted the one wing on Rainbows’ back twitched whenever Twilight brushed her hoof or leaned her head back against her.
Rarity smiled to herself as she made her way in. “Twilight, it’s so great to see you.” Rarity quickly made her way over to Twilight and wrapped her in a hug. “I hope Rainbow has been keeping you well. Oh I have something for you.” She said turning to her luggage, “Now where did I put it?” She began digging in her suitcases, only to realize, after a few minutes, that she’d hung it over the chair the luggage was on, she held up the blanket she had sewn for Twilight, folding it carefully within her magic.
“Spike can you go fix some tea for us?” Rarity turned to Spike and smiled. “Rainbow and Twilight, make yourself comfortable on the couch.” She turned back to them and levitated some cushions over to the pair of ponies. “I can’t wait to hear how things have been for you two since you woke up Twilight. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you about what I have been up to as well. Admittedly it’s not that much.” Rarity smiled as she watched Rainbow and Twilight place themselves on the couch.
Rarity smiled as she noted how close they sat together and how Rainbow’s wing extended to touch Twilight from time to time. “I see you two are getting along quite nicely, but have you been taking good care of each other?”
Twilight and Rainbow fidgeted a little and shared a look before Rainbow spoke up. “It’s been a little rough, I made a few mistakes but Twilight has been getting better.” Rainbow smiled sheepishly and Twilight placed a hoof near her on the couch, Rarity smiled a little.
“I will admit I was a little lost at first and I was trying to take it all on by myself, which might have caused Rainbow some unneeded worry, but we talked about it and it’s getting better.” Twilight fidgeted a little. “I mean most things are improving, things are still pretty hard for me. Seeing you looking so different and Spike is so much bigger, I don’t think he’s going to be on two legs for much longer. Anyway, how have you been Rarity, and what’s that blanket?”
“Oh yes, I knew about your disability from the doctor and when I heard you were up I thought I might make you a little something to keep your legs warm.” Rarity levitated the lavender blanket with Twilight’s cutie mark embroidered in the center. “It’s not much but I saw the wound on your flank once when I visited and I thought you might like seeing it in its old splendor again. I do hope you like it.” Rarity smiled brightly and Spike walked back in. “I have black tea here for everyone, I thought it might help us relax while talking about sensitive topics. “Spike moved about the room and gave everyone a cup of tea before sitting beside Rarity.
“So Rarity, are you and Spike...” Twilight fidgeted a little.
“Oh dear, no. He’s been my assistant for three years. I think he might have dated Sweetie Belle for a bit once upon a time, but no we are not together.” Spike blushed at that,
“Yeah, me and Sweetie Belle went out with one another for a while, but the whole different species thing… she insisted it wouldn’t be a problem and maybe it wouldn’t be at first but I knew, sooner or later, it would get in the way.”
“Enough about us Twilight, what about you and Rainbow? How are things between you two?” Rarity leant in a little closer with a coy smile. “Is anything happening with you two, besides Twilight adjusting to her circumstances I mean. You two do look awfully close.”
Twilight and Rainbow both blushed, Rainbow rubbing a hoof on the back of her head as she replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Rarity. I mean sure we might have bonded a little over our mutual loss, but we are still just friends and I don’t think Twilight needs something like that right now. Maybe that’s something she can think about later but right now...” Rainbow trailed off, feeling Twilights’ glare pierce her.
“I know you’re worried about me Rainbow, but I don’t think you have the right to decide that for me. You are right though, I am not ready to try that yet, I haven’t even had time to really mourn Applejack.” Twilight leaned over and rested her head against Rainbow. “I don’t know if I really can mourn her, I know I should, but her passing… it just doesn’t feel real.”
“In a way it’s not Twi, she’s still with you.” Rainbow placed her hoof on Twilight’s chest. “She isn’t here in body, but she is here with us all the same.”
Rarity smiled. “Well you two look awfully close, and she is right Twilight, Applejack is still with you and she won’t ever leave you. If I remember rightly, she left her Stetson to you as well, and she gave you her heart in every way she could. Maybe mourning her isn’t the action you should take, but instead just remember her. I know at least one mare who would love to remember her with you and shares your feeling of loss over Applejack.” Rarity had one of her coy smiles on again. “You might not be ready for starting a romance so soon, but from what I can see, you already have, or rather one already exists if you choose to explore it.”
“I agree with Rarity, you two seem to be blind to it but even I can see it.” Spike chuckled at the two sitting on the couch, looking at each other with confused expressions. Rainbow still had her wing wrapped around Twilight, while she continued leaning on Rainbows’ shoulder. “Anyway Rarity, I think Twilight is more interested in what you’ve been up to while she was out.”
Rarity smiled, “Of course, well to be honest, I was one of the last to leave. I went to Neigh York to really get started in the fashion industry, which was easier than I thought since I was already fairly famous. After a while, my parents contacted me, asking if I could take care of Sweetie Belle again. I gladly accepted without knowing it would mean moving to Las Pegasus where she was taking vocal lessons and becoming famous in her own field. The fashion industry there was quite a change of pace, but I relished in the challenge.” Rarity paused and sipped her tea. “Spike, can you make us some lunch, I haven’t eaten since the train. Now where was I, ah yes Las Pegasus.”
“So after I got settled there and my name was well known, I decided it was time to do something for you besides my visits. I decided to contact Fancy Pants in Canterlot, since he owed me a favor, and I set up a fashion show and charity gala. I made sure all the proceeds went to education and supporting struggling farmers. I held it once a year on the anniversary of yours and Applejack’s incident. I will admit it didn’t take as well as I hoped at first, but it gathered momentum fairly quickly after the second show.”
“It was during one of my visits to Canterlot for it that I met Spike again. I was still quite mad at him but after seeing him, all of that faded. I felt sorry for him and I convinced him to come see you, it was quite the emotional reunion.” Rarity paused and thought for second. “That’s pretty much everything. My sister is famous now, I don’t think I mentioned that, she was spotted by Sapphire Shores and goes by Crystal Belle now.”
“Wow Rarity, you achieved your dreams and then some it seems. It doesn’t sound like much but I bet it was a lot of work for you.” Twilight sat up, Rainbows’ wing still holding her so she ended up scooting closer to Rainbow. “I’m glad to know you didn’t let AJ’s death get to you, or my condition either.”
“Of course not dear, it hurt, but neither of you would have wanted that. I remembered you in my fashion and I put my sorrow into it as well to help cope, but I never let it stop me.” Rarity looked over at Rainbow, her expression suddenly cool. “Like some ponies I know. Of course I guess I can’t blame those ponies, to lose so much so quickly I can hardly imagine the pain and sorrow or the rage they must have felt. With that in mind I can hardly blame them for any unsavory actions they may have taken.”
“Rarity she knows, we’ve talked a lot lately and she has heard it all. She knows what I did and how hard it was for me and everyone else, so no need to be so cryptic.” Rainbow sighed at Rarity. “She has seen how I sometimes let my emotions get the better of me first-hand as well; it’s one of the things I’ve regretted since she woke up.”
Twilight had been sat listening before she interjected. “I imagine you have a fair idea of many things that have happened, and honestly, I don’t want to rehash it all again so why don’t we all just catch up. Talk about life as it is now and how things have been going, like we used to. I am curious about the eight years I lost, but Rainbow gave me some good advice about just picking up from here instead of dwelling on the past and I agree with her, so let’s talk and catch up, then start from here.”
~~
Spike walked in a few minutes later with a tray of sandwiches and a pitcher of apple cider and smiled. He looked at the three mares sitting around, laughing and chatting like they used to before everything happened. It looked right to him, so he smiled and brought the table over, putting the food down before joining them in telling stories and enjoying the afternoon.
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