Mal was almost out of Ponyville when the fluorescence green bounty started to kick up a fuss.

“Ain't nun' thin' doin'!” Mal yelled out the truck window. “This is still horse county an' Becky ain't makin' no pit stops, hippie!”

“Stop!” Brad called out in a cried of panic. “Dude! I need you to stop and turn around!”

Mal stuck an arm out the window and demonstrated just how much he cared.

“No seriously!” Brad yelled. “I need to pick up my saddle bags!”

The heavy work truck picked up even more speed as Mal push further down on the gas pedal.

“Come on, man! It has my laptop!”

The stallion found himself skidded across the cage's rough wooden floorboards as the vehicle came to a skidding halt.

“Don't yew make me come in there an' hit yew!” The bounty hunter voice boom from out of the open truck window. “Ya said-”

“It was a yacht party. Everyone was either drunk, seasick, passed out or making out. And, like, I was bored and thought it would be an super awesome to record myself walking across the top of the boat's boom. I was using my laptop's built in webcam at the time to record myself when the ship, like, hit a wave. And that's when, yours truly, fell overboard with laptop in hand.”

The rusty truck door open with a loud creak as Mal step out.

“Ya best not be fuckin' with me, boy. 'Cause Ah will reconsider lettin' Strings finish what she started.”

“Man, settle down. Its on the level. Whats the big deal. It's only a laptop.”

“Makin' it thee only laptop in all of Equestria.” Mal said as he step in front of the cage door

“Oh.”

“Oh yeah. So if ya tell me where it is Ah'll make it worth yer while.”

“Let me go and I'll tell you.”

“Ha-ha.” The bounty hunter said sarcastically. “Not gonna happen, sport. Now this here laptop, it works right? Even after havin' uh swim in the ocean?”

“It was this morning. But you can forget about it. My mom bought that laptop for me for college. No way I'm going to just hand it over to a-”

“Hold on. Jes' uh second ago ya were usin' that laptop to buy yer freedom. Now yer concern with yer mother findin' out that ya lost uh laptop? Yer mother's would be thrilled seein' her son alive sans laptop then never again.”

“Well, I was kinda of hoping that you could...Maybe let me hang here. Like, a few weeks - that’s all!”

“An' what if Ah were to do just that an' pack of timber wolves ate ya neon colored ass up? What then? They can do lot of ridiculous, absurd things around these parts but revving dead idiots is not one of them.”

“I'm not just going to let you just steal my laptop, man.”

“Ha! Ah maybe uh man of many things, Brad. But being uh thief is not one of them.”

Brad arched an eyebrow as the hefty, rectangular solid gold bar slid across the cage's timber floor boards.

“Dude, my laptop was worth almost 2,000 dollars.” The neon pony said as he tried to lift the gold bar with his hooves. “There is no way that this hunk of metal is going to cover-”

“This ain't sum rapper bling, son. That's 100% solid pure gold there. Thru an' thru. An' the last time Ah was on earth, uh pound of solid gold was worth nearly 18,000 thousand bucks.”

“Oh, when was that granddad? Like, during the gold rush?”

“Try 2011, butt head." The bounty hunter said with a slight frowned creasing his forehead.

"Which would make, today, mah first year anniversary of bein' in this fucked up place.” The man mumbled more to himself then to his ponified bounty.

Brad frowned himself at this. “Um, no way, man. That can't be right. It's 20-”

Mal cut the stallion off with a impatient wave of the hand. “Time moves differently here, son. Now are ya going to take mah offer or what?”

“I'll take it...but on one condition.” Brad said with a raised hoof

Mal shook his head. “Na-hah, Kid. Ah already told ya. Ah ain't lettin ya-”

“Let me ride up front with you and heartstrings.”

“Really?” Mal said in surprise. “Ya wanna to sit with me an' the mare who hates ya guts?”

“It's either that or no laptop.” As Brad said as he sild the gold bar back towards the bounty hunter.

Mal picked up the bar, dropping it to his vest pocket before staring at the caged stallion. A hard, rocky, hundred mile glare that said, 'Son, Ah um disappointed in u.'

But Brad stare back defiantly at the bounty hunter. A look of tense, youthful eyes that shouted out rebelliously, 'Fuck you! You're not my Dad!'

Mal threw up his arms into the air in defeat.

“Fine! Fuck it!” The bounty hunter cried out as he unlatch the keyring from his belt. “Strings, move ya teal colored keister over! We got company!”

Heartstrings poke her head out the driver side window. “Somepony hitching a ride with us?! Who is-” The words died on her lips as she watched the human unlock the cage door.

“Mal, what are you doing?” Heartstrings ask in deep concern as the bounty hunter hefted the day glow pony out of the cage.

“Never mind what Ah'm doin,” Mal said as he carried Brad over towards the driver side door. “Just scoot over.”

“Mal, he is not riding up here.” Heartstrings said with a icy tone. Her horn glowed and Mal heard the loud clunk of the door lock.

“Now, Strings don't be kickin' up uh hissy fit now.” Mal said sternly. “He's mah bounty an' this here is mah truck. Ah can do what Ah want, when Ah want an' right now Ah need yew stop bein' so goddamn difficult an' -”

“Then I'm taking my windshield and I'm going home.” The Aquamarine unicorn said before suddenly disappearing in front of them. A second later the magical windshield replacement winked out of existence.

“Strings! Stop over reactin an' git back here!” Mal yelled out.

“No! I'm not riding with him!” The mare's angry voice drift out from down the road.

“Come on! Don't be doin' this!” Mal said as he shoved Brad through the open truck window. “Ya won't be gittin' yer pay!”

“Fine, you keep it!” The teal unicorn yelled back as she continued on trotting down the dirt road back towards town

Mal let out a growl of frustration as he hopped up onto the running board and reached an arm inside the driver side door. “Hrrm. Whats up with these pissy fuckin' horses today?”

“Dude, go after her.” Brad said as the bounty hunter unlocked the door and climbed inside the cab.

Mal gave the truck door a hard slam shut and turned to glared at him. “Ah thought Ah told ya to-”

“She's your friend, man.” Brad said. “And she's the only one you got here.”

The bounty hunter narrow his eyes at the pony before looking back at the road. “Ah don't need her. An' it's not like Ah needed that windshield. Hurt mah eyes lookin through it anyways. ”

Brad rolled his eyes at the bounty hunter's macho statement. “You've been here, like, a year now, right?”

“There better be uh point to this all this yappin' or-”

Brad continued, unperturbed. “And just, like, how many ponies are willing to put up with you.”

The bounty hunter said nothing.

“She's the only one, isn't she.”

The man's stony glared soften slightly. He looked way from the ponified human and out the window. Mal watched as the tall fields of rye gently swayed on the wide seemingly endless expanse of the open range.

“She needs you too, man. Why else would she be wanting to hang out with you so much."

"She needs the money." Mal said.

"And you pay her well enough to pick the glass from out of your truck and to teach herself magic on her own time?"

Mal said nothing.

"You what I think? I think that you need her as much as she needs-”

The bounty hunter's rough hand clamped Brad's snout shut.

“Let's get sum thin' straight here, college boy.” Mal said, the bench seat's aging springs creaking as the bounty hunter leaning in towards the pony. “She's uh paid informant. Nun thin' more, Nun thin' less. Got that? She's not mah marefreind. An' she certainly not mah special sum pony. Ah ain't no horse fucker.”

Brad let out a muffled agreement as he nodded his head. Mal let go of the stallion and turned the ignition key.

The heavy work truck roared to life. In one fluid motion he put the truck into reserve, spun the steering wheel around and turned the old truck back around. He threw the truck's gear into first and head back down the dirt roadway towards Ponyville.

“Ya breath uh word about this an' -” The bounty hunter started.

“You'll rip off my head and shit down my neck.”

Mal gave the pony an irritated glance. Brad return it with a wide grin.

Mal let out a grunt. As he looked back at the road ahead, a small smile to creep onto his weathered face .

“Aw, shit. Who um Ah kiddin'.” Mal said as gave the stallion a friendly tap on the side that nearly knock the pony off his hooves.

·~ ͽ¤ͼ ~·

It didn't take long for them to catch up with the slowly trudging unicorn. Heartstrings let out an sigh of irritation as her ear's picked up the sound of crunching gravel and the familiar mechanical rumble of the truck's engine as Mal Coltran pulled up along side her.

“Hey. Wanna lift back into town?” Mal called out.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” The teal mare said. “Kinda had my fill of jerks today.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Nope.” The unicorn blinked out and reappeared again further up the road.

Mal grumbled as he shifted gears on the aging truck. A few seconds later, he pulled up along side Heartstrings again.

“How about if Ah let ya punch mah jerkface face in?” Mal said as he lead out of the truck window. “It's on the house an' Ah'm payin'.”

“Leave me alone.” The mare answered coldly.

Mal pull the truck over to aside and got hoped out.

“When Ah come back, ya better be still here.” Mal said to Brad as he shut the door. “Got that?”

“uh, what if I'm not?”

“Then yer gonna find yer self chained to uh tree out in the Everfree Forest for the timber wolves to find.”

“Okay chill! Like, I was only asking!”

“Ah'll be right back! Don't talk to the locals or touchin' anythin' in mah truck!” Mal yelled over his shoulder as he ran after Heartstrings.

Mal's boots kick up clouds of dirt as he caught up to the pony. “Goddamnit, Strings. Slow down.” Mal rasped out in between breaths “Yer goin' to give an ol' man uh heart attack.”

“Fuck you, Mal.”

“Whoa, nelly!” Mal guffawed. “Cussing at me an' ya don't even know what it means. Ya keep that up an yer gonna have to change yer name to Lil' Miss Tough as Nails!”

“You didn't even ask me, Mal!” Heartstrings said as she spun around on her hooves to faced the human bounty hunter. “You traded my comfort in for a lousy whatchamacallit!”

“Hey, now, that is not what happen, Strings. Ah would never do such a thing an' ya know it.”

“So am I just suppose to just sit there while he just leers at me?”

“Now, Ah don't think he's one of those-”

“He was looking me, Mal. He was staring at my-” Heartstrings started to trembled.

“Strings-” Mal said as he got down on one knee. There was a loud boom as droplets of rain started to splashed about them. He looked up to see small colored specks zip about the sky as they moved the dark storm clouds about. The human looked back down at the aquamarine unicorn when she shoved a hoof in his combat vest.

“I'm not that kind of pony.” Heartstrings said angrily, her eyes a raging blaze of revulsion and hatred. “I'm not.”

“Ah know yer not.” Mal answered quietly. “An' he knows it too. Or at least he does now.”

“Then why does he want to ride with us?” Heartstrings asked in frustration.

“Because he's curious that's why. Because he's uh weirdo of not jes for yew, but of everythin' here. An', unfortunately, has uh fuck ton of stupid questions to ask the both of us.”

“But he - he was looking at my flank!”

“Strings, He's ain't from around here. He's not even uh pony for fuck sakes! He doesn't know proper hor-” Mal caught himself. “Ah mean proper pony manners. He doesn't know that it's impolite to stare at uh somepony's cutie-mark. He's not uh pony. An' he's certainly not uh stalker. He jes' a harmless, overly enthusiastic fan boy, Strings.”

“Whatever. Fuck you. You know better. You knew and you didn't even think to ask. You didn't ask me has to how I would feel having a-a-" The mare started to quaked in anger. "A human sitting next to me, violating my private space!”

“Uh, Ah'm uh human an' ya don't-.”

“You know what I meant, Mal! Don't beat around the bush!"

"Yer right."

"What?!"

"Ah said yer right. Ah should've asked. Ah should've known better then pigeon hole ya into sum thin' that sets ya teeth on edge.”

Heartstrings shook her head angrily. "I'm just another dumb animal to you! That's all I am! No need to ask the horse how she feels having-”

“Hey! Now, stop that! Don't be saying crap like that. Ah'm the dumb one here. Ah wasn't thinkin'. Ah got uh little excited an', well - shit. Ah was tryin' to have mah cake an' eat too. Ah fucked up. Yew did uh fine job today, girl. Hell. Ya did more then just fine - Ya were great. An' that's more then Ah have ever asked of ya.”

Mal pulled out the small pouch that contained Heartstrings's payment. He then roughly grabbed the mare's hoof and press the small bag into it.

“There. Ya free to go. Ya no longer need to tag along with sum grouchy, old sourface greezer. Ah'll even chuck the idiot back into the cage if ya want an' give yew a ride back into town so ya can git on with the rest of yer day too.”

Heartstrings nearly bowled the bounty hunter over when she launched into him. Mal gritted his teeth as the aquamarine pony's hooves banged painfully into the back of his head as she tightly hugged him. His hands hovered in the empty air above the ponies withers as the side of his neck damped with the teal pony's warm tears.

Mal could only manage to say, “Um, uh-” as he tried to find the appropriate words of comfort for such an awkward and bizarre situation.

“I forgive you.” She sniffled. “Even if your being a grouchy, old sourface geezer.”

This made the bounty hunter feel even more uncomfortable and wasn't because they were both getting soaked from the downpour.Mal struggled as fought the urge to return the hug. He want to comfort her somehow but he didn't want to frighten the pony by sending mixed signals either. Or giving possible flying bystanders something to talk about.

'Can't get attached Mal. It's only uh talkin pony. Remember that. Yer only passing through. Last thing ya need is a reason to-'

Mal curb stomped the rising, mixed raging torrent of confused emotions within himself as he patted the pony's withers with one hand while using the other to broadcast a big, fuck you up into the air for any watching weather pegasuses to see.

'Fuck it. It's only a hug. That's all it is.' Mal thought to himself. 'It ain't the gateway to freaky harlequin novel romance. Though all this goddamn rain certainly ain't helpin'!'

Heartstrings broke out of the embrace, moving aside her soaking wet ,two-toned colored mane from out in front of her face. “Just promise me if he does or says anything-”

“Don't yew worry.” Mal said, giving the unicorn a lopsided grin as the rain pour heavily about them. “If he messes with ya, he'll find himself spendin' the rest of the trip chained to Becky's bumper.”

“Geez mal.” She sniffled. “You certainly know how to cheer a mare up.”

Author's Note

And then they kissed.

Whoa! Hey, now! Where the fuck did that just come from!

Git outta here, sentimental moment!

Had to off set the sudden lacking of two-fisted, white knuckled, manly action going on there.

You can forgit about seein' any of that mushy stuff happen in the next chapter, 'cause Mal Coltran's gonna be doing what he does best: Laying down the Law

Coming up next: For Want of a Nail