While the market's bystanders were torn between staring at Minuette's crushed stand and the day glow pony's poor rendition of a local resident's song and dance routine, the large bipedal groan aloud.

Mal groaned as he lift himself out of the pile of crushed pineapples and cracked coconuts shells.

“Ah'm git'n too old for this shit.” He grumbled as he brush off the bits of broken wood, coconut hairs and glitter.

“Are you okay Mr. Coltran?” A wide-eyed blue color pony asked worriedly, her hoof to her mouth. “Your not hurt, are you?”

“Only mah pride, Ma'am.” Mal managed to wheezed out as he scooped up his sunglasses and straw hat out the debris of tropical produce.

While the dancing pony was busy murdering the famous pink pony's song, Mal was busy trying to reintroduce oxygen to his burning lungs. He scowled at the pony who was busy busting a groove out on the market street.

'Time to take down this sumabitch before he does sum thin' really dumb.'

“HEY!” Mal roared causing the neon pony to stop mid-jig. “Fun an' games are over. Ya had ya fun. Now time for ya to git ya pony ass on over here before ya do sum thin' ya'll be regrettin' later!”

They stood there in the quiet market street, just staring down at one another for several seconds before Mal got his answer.

“PLUUUUUUUUUR-PT!!” The self-named “Twinkle-Toes” replied with a one-two combo of the Bronx cheer and fore hooves jerk gesture.

'Come on! Really?! After every thing that's happen?' Mal's entire body ached with pain. He didn't know what was going burst out his chest first; his lungs or his heart. 'What the hell did this kid have for breakfast today?! Three bowls of Wheaties with uh case of Red Bull?!'

Mal inwardly groaned as he watch the day glow stallion do the moonwalk in the middle of the street. The pony didn't stick around for the encore though when he saw the mossberg being unslung. The brightly colored pony turn tail and bolt down the market street

Mal squinted down the barrel's sight, his finger gently tightening on the trigger. But he found himself unable to committed to the action. Rocksalt loads weren't exactly made with precision in mind. And if Queen Glitter-Puss found out that he blasted off a load of rocksalt into a crowd of her ponies, having his ass kicked to the moon would be the least of his worries.

'Balls!' Mal thought as he re-slung the shotgun. Despite what his aching body was telling him, he was determine to nab his quarry. He had to get back to Becky. Catching the neon pony by boot leather alone was out of the question.

But there was to be a scheduled storm in less then an hour and Parkour Brony shattered Becky's windshield. And by the time he got to the truck, it be pouring buckets. His bounty would likely be able to sucker some local into letting him spent the night at their resident and Mal would end up mucking about in the rain searching house to house.

“Dammit.” He grumbled to himself as he watched the pony scrambled down the street. 'What now? Ah can't be usin' Heartstrings again. No way he'll be goin' to her again for help. So close, yet so far. Ah could probably nail that fucker with uh brick or uh loose cobble stone. Or maybe...'

Mal kicked one of the street stand's uncracked coconuts up off the ground. He caught it with the palm of his hand and before could he put his plan into motion, he felt a tugging on his pants leg.

*Ahem!*

Mal look down to see a blue upraised hoof.

“Ah...How much for this here coconut, Ma'am?” He asked the blue pony.

“200 bits” The blue and white maned mare said, straight faced.

“WHAT?!” Mal thundered, “For uh lousy coconut?! that's highway robbery!”

“No. 200 bits for all of the lousy coconuts, pineapples and the stand you destroyed.”

“Awww...come ON! Can't ya see Ah'm try'n to work here?”

“Guess that makes two of us then!” She raise her upturned hoof higher.

“uh, uh...um look...” He watch as his gaudy colored bounty getting nearing to the end of the street.

'Shoot! What is her name. Blueberry Pie? Sea Breeze? No, Mal, that one's white, this one's blue. Fuck! whats her name...ah-HAH! Got it!'

Mal gave the blue pony a pleading smile as watch as his four legged paycheck getting further and further away from him.

“...Look Miss Pineapple Surprise, Ah'm sorry 'bout ya stand. It's been uh long day an' -”

The mare's brow furrowed. “It's Minuette.” She said coldly.

'Shit. Stupid dumb horse names.' Mal thought

“Look, could ya jes gimme ah break? Ah promise to make it up to ya, Ah swear.”

“And I already gave you a 'break' last month when that unicorn tossed you into my stand. 200 bits"

“Ah can only spare ya 125 bits. It's all Ah've got on me right now.”

“175” She said.

He glared at the pony before looking back at the his escaping prey.

“Ah ain't got time for ya grievances, hoss.” Mal snorted and spat out a bloody wad of phlegm onto the broken debris of Minuette's stand. “Put it on mah tab or sum'in.” He said as he started to crank back his ol' college pitching arm. The blue pony's horn glow. The coconut levitated right out of his grip and floated back down towards the blue mare.

“Whoa! Hold ya horses!” Mal cried out in panic as he tried to snatch the floating nut out of the air. “Give it back! Ah was only funn' wit ya! 150 bits!”

“Sold.” Minuette said as she levitated the coconut back into Mal's reach. He snatched the coconut out of the air, cranked back his arm for the ol' college football 'Mauler Special' and snapped off his deadly payload.

Meanwhile, Brad Carter just couldn't believe his luck. He was nearly at the end of the street and the dumb lug was just standing back there as he made off his escape.

'Once I ditch this loser, I'm going to chillax on over at Sweet Apple Acres, sleep outside under Princess Luna's Stars and help myself to a some of applejack cider! And then I'm going to – wait - what is that low pitch whistling noise?'

The crowded market street of bystanders let out a loud “OOOOOO!” as the softball size coconut beamed off the back of the four legged twerp's head.

Some even winced in pain or sucked wind past their teeth as they watch Mal's neon target glided a few feet in the air before smacking back down into the cobble stone street in an unconscious heap.

“YA JES' GOT DE-MAUL-ISH, BITCH!” Mal whoop as he fisted pumped the air.

“YEAAAAAAAH!” One of the onlookers shouted

Mal could only grinned at loud approved of his epic awesome maneuver. He piled the little gold bits onto the blue mares open hooves. “...120...140...150! An' since Ah'm feelin' the element of generosity today - Here's an extra 10 bits.”

Mal picked up one of the few whole pieces of pineapples off the ground, tucking it into his cargo pants pocket as he made his way down the street.

'So lets see...800 bits plus another 200 for the cutie-mark. Ah jes' bagged me uh 1000 gold bounty. Not bad for uh days work. Or workout, heh.' Mal grinned to himself as he swagger through the crowds of market onlookers.

'Still, Ah have to deduct out of it Strings 'finders fee,' uh replacement for the shattered windshield an' the crush fruit stand. So maybe Ah have 640 in mah pocket. Maybe even 700 bits if Ah go 'Mad Max' on the replacement windshield, which would look pretty freakin' swee- '

Mal's thoughts were interrupt by an all-too-familiar-voice.

“Mr. Coltran! Was that really necessary?”

'Ya've gotta be kidding me. Fuck mah life.'

Author's Note

Looks like ol' Mal Coltran's day isn't over yet.

I hope you folks all been enjoying the ride so far. And if not, let me know. I know that I ain't no Hooves Like Jagger, Imploding Colon, shortskirtsandexplosions or Aegis Shield. But I'm ready and willing to improve in anyway I can. So if you don't like what you read, feel free to tell me why. Don't hesitant or beat around the bush either. Just tell it like it is and I'll be sure to listen to ya.

Coming up next: Forced Lessons in Friendship