A.N.)- I know, a lot of ponies are out of character. There is a reason for this.

Also: Fair warning, this fic can be considered over-the-top Dark, while this is deliberate, it's not for everyone.

Anyways, let's get on with the fic.

My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.

This is my mantra. This is my creed. This is all that I have left.

I was once a human in the 21st century of Earth. Two years ago something, I don’t know what, sent me to Equestria, but in the process it turned me into an alicorn.

Someone help me.

I’m faster than Rainbow Dash, stronger than Applejack, more powerful than Twilight, more artistic than Rarity, more ‘fun’ than Pinkie Pie, more skilled with animals than Fluttershy. The moment I try something, I’m better at it than everyone else around me.

I’m in hell.

My mane is a flowing red, my coat black, my eyes red. I’m the embodiment of a horrendous stereotype.

And the world hates me.

Somebody, anybody, please help me.

My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.

oOo

I live wherever I can. I can’t stay in any one place long because of the monsters. They follow me, they hunger for my blood... and for the blood of any pony nearby.

If I stayed anywhere too long... I put everyone and everything nearby at risk.

It was one of my punishments, the monsters. Horrible creatures, dragons and wyrms, hydras and trolls, demons and terrible behemoths, elder gods and beings from Beyond, they simply appeared from nothing and sought me out, killing everything between us on their way. I had to kill them to protect everyone, but the collateral damage... it was horrendous.

Grass tasted weird, even after two years.

Reaching out, I grabbed another flower, slowly munching on the plant as I waited.

Waited there quietly, laying in the grass, my wings stayed tucked at my sides and my tail curled tight against me. Hopefully, today the world wouldn’t spit up some some magical problem only I could solve. I didn’t think it would; my spell was holding decently.

I didn’t want to go into town, not again.

Please...

My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.

Again I leaned forward, there weren’t any more flowers in this clearing, that meant grass for now, I was still hungry of course. This was the normal state of things. I couldn’t really go into a town or city to get food, so I had to make do with the plants I found around.

A flap of wings, a distortion of air, my eyes went wide as I shot up, wings flaring, ready to run. I didn’t want to confront anyone, I was minding my own business! I was miles outside of town! Blue and rainbows, but not a part of the sky– Rainbow Dash.

No. Oh god no. I could barely outrun her. Not her. I didn’t want to fight her, I didn’t want to–

“Hey! Horse apple!”

I flinched, cringing away, tensed like a spring and ready to run.

“Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you buddy! Yeah, apparently we need your help again.”

I froze in place, eyes widening even more. Oh no. Immediately, I turned to the flying pegasus, still terrified, still worried, but all of that could be dealt with later. Right now, people needed my help and I wasn’t going to let them languish, I kept my voice as steady as I could, “Take me there.”

“Ugh, alright, just don’t get lost ya loser,” Dash climbed even higher into the air before taking off like a rocket.

With only the slightest hesitation, I launched myself after her, my wings flaring beside me, magic flowing freely around me as I accelerated after the high-speed pegasus. Each wingbeat powered against the air as I pushed to catch up with her. We soared over the clouds, our wings pumping as we flew..

And for a moment, just the briefest of moments, with the clouds beneath me, the green world moving below, the wind in my ears flying behind a pegasi of amazing grace and power... a warmth replaced the dread and tension in my chest.

Then Ponyville came into view, and the cold dread returned. I couldn’t see any monsters; that was good, I couldn’t... I didn’t want to see more death again... it hadn’t even been a week since the last monster attack. But even so... I would be going into public once more, amongst ponies... I just wanted to get this over with and be gone once again.

I extended my magical senses as Rainbow Dash brought us in for a landing, the wind whistling past my ears. If it wasn’t a monster, the most common issue was a magical flaw or error, a mistake in the world that only I or Celestia could solve, and since I was closer...

There, okay, found it, now I could fix it and get far away from ponies again before anything happened. I angled my wings up the slightest bit, hooves hitting dirt moments after Dash’s and setting me walking forward without a pause. The sooner I was done, the sooner I could get away from here.

The town was already starting to gather, the glares... I didn’t want to be here any more than they wanted me.

I strode right past Dash as she led me towards the library, opening the door quickly and ducking my head to go in. My eyes, those horrendous red eyes, they swept the room and quickly found the problem, a pony had been transformed into something other, something from Beyond that made terrible memory tingle at the back of my skull. It was trapped in a circle, a simple one but powerful in its euclidian and enclosed nature, containing the mass of tentacles and hooves and tendrils and flesh that had once been a pony.

Beside the circle sat Twilight, her violet eyes glaring at me the moment I entered. No one else would have entered with such a thing trapped. She knew this was my fault, I knew this was my fault, and all I could do was fix it and go away. Fix it, and stay far enough away that it wouldn’t happen again.

“I don’t doubt that you already know the dire nature of this disaster, such dour tidings likely follow your dreadful countenance wherever you go,” the hatred in her eyes simmered as she spoke through clenched teeth. I did my best to tune her out, to focus on the thing that needed my help because I had stayed too close for too long, “As dubious as it may be, you do know how to undo this devastating dilemma?”

A melonchaly smile found a place on my face for a moment before it faded, trust Twilight to find a way to berate me with alliteration.

Without hesitation, I stepped into the circle, the thing which had been a pony swarmed over me, hooves and suckers and things which had no name pressing against my coat, but despite the brief revulsion, the horror, I pushed past it and stepped entirely within the circle, trying to ignore the feel of eyes and nails and hooves and other things against me.

The once-was-pony couldn’t hurt me, nothing from Beyond could, nothing spawned or changed by the curse that followed me could harm me, but they could harm other ponies and were unkillable.

A tear escaped my eye as I once again thanked whatever thing had cursed me for the small concessions. It was within my power to put this thing out of its misery, but I didn’t have to.

I reached deep inside, I touched the core of iron that I shared with the earth beneath my hooves, the pulse of molten metal that I shared with it, the stability and reality that it held... and I gently... ever so gently... I drew it out, the burning in my chest as the power passed through me a welcome pain.

At first there was a terrible scream without sound as that which was from Beyond and not-real was encompassed with a power that was decidedly real. But then it faded, and the scream became a croon, a soft sound of relaxation, of relief. I had to be careful, to be gentle, to ignore the blazing pain in my chest that slowly spread to the rest of me as I used this power, the power of a god, power that I unjustly wielded... but a power that I was eternally grateful for if it let me just do this.

Slowly, ever so slowly... form and shape returned to the mass about me, color and reality, bone and structure... bit by bit, it all came back as I reasserted reality over the insanity, as I acted as the conduit for Equestria to reclaim one of its own.

With the softest of sighs, a pony, a mare teal green with golden eyes, existed once more, her mind reforming with her body. For a moment, I saw gratitude, happiness, acceptance in those eyes... and then she passed out, slumping against me before I tenderly lowered her to the floor.

I would never say I’d go through this pain again, that it was all worth it, because nothing was worth the pain this curse inflicted upon me... but I was grateful that I could at least do something to make up for the pain I caused, something to seal the hole it tore in my heart every time somebody suffered because I existed.

Backing away from the pony, Twilight teleported over her, protecting her from me and snarling in my direction, her horn alight, “Great, now get out of here before you make it happen again!”

Turning around, I did just that, walking quickly towards the door. I didn’t want to be here, not under the gazes of ponies, not that I could blame them for their hatred. The door was still open from when I’d entered, and I ducked my head once again to get out, mindful of my ridiculous horn.

I stepped back out into the sunlight and found, to my horror, that much of the town had gathered. Glares all around, hateful gazes, narrowed eyes... it was it all over again, the same thing every time.

My wings flared out as I readied myself to take off, and the shouts started. The insults, the berating, the reminders that I should never have come, that I was unoriginal, cliche, trite, and a monster amongst ponies. With the mightiest heave of my wings that I could muster, I was off, off before the rocks could start to fly once more.

Relief flooded me as I took off once more, away from ponies and their hateful gazes and words.

I wasn’t a bad person, I wasn’t... but horrible things followed in my wake.

My name is Emeris Fillson. I was once human. I am not a bad person.

oOo

The sun was warm against my coat, a delightful warmth despite the brightness, it eased the ache in my chest, the pain of those glares. I lay in the grass, miles away from Ponyville or any other sign of civilization, for now at the least, at peace.

Tossing my head, I threw my ridiculous mane out of the way, a stupid red mess flowing in a never-there updraft, I loathed that and my tail in particular. Terrible messes that always got in my way, reminders of what I’d been turned into...

I leaned down and took a bite of grass, slowly chewing it and tossing my head again to keep the mane out of my face. Grass still tasted weird, but there weren’t any flowers nearby to eat and I didn’t dare go anywhere near the town again, not so soon...

My gaze became, for lack of better terms, forlorn and depressed. I missed human food, I missed meat, I missed cheese, I missed spices and noodles and I missed cooking... I missed it so much. I couldn’t even cook food the way I used to... this body could eat meat, as stupid and ridiculous as it was that the body of a herbivore could eat meat, but it could eat meat.

But to eat meat, I’d have to kill something, and the odds were unbelievably good that that something would be intelligent, that it would be capable of advanced math and politics and have opinions and a mind of its own... I didn’t dare.

Swallowing, I leaned in to take another bite of grass to try and take the edge off of the hunger I felt. The motion was interrupted by a sudden sense of presence, of power and might, my eyes widened and I shot up to my hooves, my wings flaring as I readied to run.

There were only three sources of magical power that I could feel like that when I wasn’t trying; Twilight and the Princesses. The only reason Twilight would have to be here would be to ‘reprimand’ me for what my presence had done to that pony. Luna... sometimes she was kind to me, but others.... other times she was the most terrifying of foes, I didn’t dare...

The large, stark white form and flowing patel mane made my heart slow once again, my breathing returning to normal as I awkwardly returned to my place on the grass.

Celestia landed nearby, the Princess of Equestria approaching me quietly before laying down beside me in the grass, draping a wing over my form. I was actually larger than her, standing almost half a head taller than the regal alicorn. I kept my head low in deference, no matter how much she said I didn’t need to, it made me feel better, as did my apology, “I’m sorry about being so jumpy Princess...”

“I know Emeris,” her muzzle gently brushed against the back of my head, nuzzling me, “I understand.”

The affection, honest and gentle, broke the dam I built around the pain, ridiculous tears of blood began to flow from my dark red eyes even as I burried my face against her coat, staining the stark white a dark red as I had my desperately needed cry. It’d been nearly a month since we’d been able to meet, and the hatred, the pain had started to get to me. Today was merely the latest in a month where I’d had to go to town or a city almost every other day.

No matter how often it happened, no matter how hard I tried to steel my heart and thicken my skin, the hatred, the anger, the insults and the violence directed at me... it was too much. All I could do was make up for the terror and pain my presence caused, to protect and serve, and to never hurt anyone.

I bawled like a child, leaning against Celestia as I sobbed against her chest, the monarch, the mightiest being in Equestria, just wrapped her wing tightly around me and held me close, crooning to me gently.

Slowly, bit by bit, I calmed down, my heart easing, the pain flowing out as I simply cried it out. Sniffling, I wiped my face against her coat, pulling away and wishing I had a better way to wipe away my tears.

Noticing the stain of red on her chest, I winced, “Sorry about that... always seem to do that...”

The Princess smiled in gentle amusement, “That’s why I have a royal bath, my little Emeris.”

An amused thought crossed my mind and I snorted out a laugh that almost sounded like a sob, “You have a big bathtub exclusively to rinse off emo tears of blood?”

“Well, not exclusively...”

I couldn’t help myself, the look on her face, the amusement in her eyes, the tone of her voice. It shouldn’t have even been worth a chuckle, but it seemed so incredibly funny to me at that moment. I chuckled, I guffawed, I laughed, my eyes squeezing tightly shut and even more crimson tears flowing as I laughed.

Stupid emo tears. Stupid terrible situation. Stupid emotional fragility. Stupid emotional imbalance. I felt stupid, weak, like nothing more than a child...

And yet this was far, far better than snapping at a pony with the absolutely ridiculous amounts of power I had available to me. One slip up, one mistake... the damage would be catostrophic and I didn’t dare let that happen.

My name is Emeris Fillson, I was human once, I am not a bad person.

oOo

To say that it was soothing for an immortal Princess to mother you would be a bit of an understatement. Celestia had never told me if she had been a mother, but I wouldn’t doubt it given how tender she was when grooming me.

This was something we did every time we met, and by ‘we’, I meant Celestia insisted upon it.

She groomed my ridiculous mane for me, something I had no clue how to do, and helped me preen these wings. Something that I had yet to learn how to do. I could have but... this was something I enjoyed, it was relaxing and soothing and... and it made me feel loved. Something I desperately needed.

I leaned my head against her chest, listening to her breathing, to her heartbeat, just resting and enjoying the brief respite from the hatred, the anger and loathing that was directed at me. Her teeth gently pulled through my mane, straightening the normally eternally waving mess. A slight tug at the hair made me wince and Celestia pause, after a moment, she moved my mane to the side and was silent.

Confused I raised my head, “Princess...?”

Her eyes were sad as she gazed down at me, confusing me even more before she dipped her head, a soft golden glow shining around her horn , a warmth burning against my skin beneath my mane. Oh, that. I flushed slightly, looking away in embarrassment, muttering, “It was almost healed anyways...”

“Emeris.” I winced at her admonishing tone before it softened, “I know a wound from a thrown rock when I see it... I’ve been around more than long enough...”

Staring pointedly at the ground, I murmured, “They were just trying to keep me away.”

The golden warmth against my skin faded, and with it the slight pain of the scabbed over wound. Celestia’s chin pulled my head back against her chest, I didn’t resist her pulling me close, “You don’t deserve this Emeris.”

“I know...” I kept telling myself that, I still kind of believed it.

“You’ve saved Equestria dozens of times,” she insisted.

“From things which were only there because I exist...”

“Emeris, you’ve saved more lives than can be counted.”

“Lives that were only in danger because I’m here...” the tears were flowing again.

“Emeris, you do the best you can. Everypony knows this. You stay as far away from everypony as you can, you heal the scars of your battles, you save ponies lives.”

“Princess... I bring death and destruction everywhere I go... madness and terrible monstrosities follow in my wake... plagues, blights, and swarms of insects are my heralds and the screams of the tormented are my chorus...” my eyes clenched tightly shut, tears leaking free, “Is it any wonder that they hate me?”

“Emeris,” I flinched at her sudden hard tone, “ My little ponies do not hate you. I promise you, it is only the power of the magics which make monsters appear which makes them treat you so.”

I bowed my head, I wanted to believe it, I really did, but... they had every reason to hate me.

After a long moment, the immortal alicorn sighed, her warm breath against my mane before she nuzzled me once more, “Emeris, you’re not a bad pony, please, don’t let anypony convince you otherwise...”

Leaning into her touch, dribbles of blood red tears continued to drip down my face as I murmured, “I’ll try...”

oOo

Fire, black as pitch, far too familiar. It was a common theme of the monsters, this ‘void-fire’, it consumed the souls of ponies and burned for thirteen days and thirteen nights unless I put it out. I snuffed it with a thought, the ponies it had consumed long cast into oblivion. All that was left was ashes and bones, bits of tendons, ligaments and flesh clinging to the remains of good ponies.

The thing wasn’t much farther from those fires, it had been plaguing this town for several days, stalking and consuming, ripping ponies from their homes, dragging them out and eating them alive. Immortal and unkillable, those that had struck it had caught aflame and slowly burned to death as it continued to devour it’s chosen victim.

The flames I’d doused were all that was left of the poor souls that had tried to save others, the red-shirts, the ‘examples’. Those whose lives had ended just because they’d tried to do the right thing.

I could hear the sound of whimpers, squelching and crunches. My stomach turned and I bit back the bile that rose in my throat. I walked on.

More fires were doused in the darkness as I approached the sounds, headed towards the center of the small town. How many families had lost loved ones? How many children were going to bed, asking where dad was? How many mothers would cry themselves to sleep because their son or daughter was forever gone? How many would have to bear the pain of watching their loved ones burn alive?

And what of those that couldn’t bear it? How many had joined their loved ones in the embrace of the flames? Far too many.

There was a ring of fire around the center of the town, the sounds of sobbing, of the wet smacking of lips, could be heard over the crackle of the flames. I closed my eyes, burrying the tears, the sympathy and the pain, the fear that I always felt, I buried it all and touched the core of my power, the heartbeat of the world.

With a warm breath, I banished the flames and revealed what I had caused.

The thing sat there, vaguely humanoid, claws for toes, gangly and with far too many joints, bald and black flames alight upon its back. It smelled terrible even beneath the smell of burnt flesh. Before it was a unicorn mare, her legs broken, sobbing and crying as she stared at the thing with red rimmed eyes.

The thing, the monster... the latest iteration of my legacy... it cradled what was left of a foal in its hands of blades, the child little more than so much meat in the vaguest shape of a foal.

It stopped eating when the flames went out, turning towards me, an intestine caught in its teeth as its head swiveled entirely around, its face blank of anything resembling sentience, an empty eye staring at me from beneath a mouth of gaping teeth.

My stomach heaved, it didn’t matter how many times things like this happened, it didn’t matter how often I had to stop this, to undo it... this was a horror amongst horrors, and it was my fault. It screeched in joy before dropping the sack of skin and jumbled bone that had once been a foal to the ground. It came at me, arms outstretched, blades seeking my flesh, teeth seeking my blood as I cast my spell.

The world shook and the earth cracked, arms of magma, blazing hot, reached up from the earth and grabbed the thing. It screeched in horrible pain as the arms dragged it down, more sickening crunches and terrible ripping sounds as it was torn apart and it’s body was pulled into many cracks far too small for it to pass through.

It didn’t stop screeching until its head was crushed and the earth sealed up behind it.

I walked forward, hooves against the dirt as I approached the mare and what had to have been her child. The foal’s eyes were wide open, and rigor-mortis locked its mouth into a scream, you couldn’t even tell what gender it had been beneath the blood and scattered entrails.

I dry-heaved, blinking away the tears as I worked another spell, making the foal at least presentable for a funeral pyre.

The mother sobbed and wailed even as I finished, heading over to her as well, my horn and her legs encased in a red light as I worked what was going to be my final spell for the night. Reknitting her bones together, sealing the lacerations and repairing her muscles. I couldn’t bring back her child, but I could at least help her go on in some way.

Lights began to appear around me as I worked, candles and spells of light. Ponies, having heard the things scream, were slowly coming out to investigate.

“Why?” one asked.

I couldn’t answer, I didn’t know.

“Why weren’t you here sooner?” asked another.

“I came as soon as I heard...”

“Why’d you have such an easy time of it?!” one of them accused.

“It was waiting for me...” the terrible truth.

“Then get out! You’ll bring another!” there were cries of agreement from the gathering crowd

I bit back the sob in my throat as I focused on the delicate work in front of me, I couldn’t rush the ponies healing or she may never walk again, “I will. I just need to fin–”

The first rock caught my shoulder, little more than a sting against my coat, “Get out!”

I clenched my teeth, the tears flowing freely as I focused harder on the mare before me. I knew it would do no good, but I tried to speak, “I will, just give me a mom–”

The next rock was sharp, it skipped off of my back, “Get lost! We don’t need you!”

“I promise, I will–”

The next caught me in the ribs, a bigger one that stung, “You’re no better than that thing was!”

There was nothing I could say that they would believe, all I could do was focus on reknitting the unicorn mare’s bones.

Another rock, “Yeah! We don’t need some fake prince! You just bring these things with you!” A torch bounced off of my hide, singing my coat as another shouted, “Go back where you came from and take these things with you!”

Tears were flowing freely, I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to run, but I couldn’t go until she was healed.

Another rock, this one clipping my head, “This was your fault! My daughter’s dead because of you!”

A strangled sob escaped me, I ignored the pain, ignored the blood that was starting to trickle down my face as I whispered, “I know... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”

“The Princess should’ve killed you long ago!”

“You’re nothing but a killer! I bet you just wait for these things to rack up a body-count before stopping them so you can look more like a hero!”

“You’re the worst pony that could ever have lived! Why’d you come here if you were just going to bring misery?!”

“Get out of here you monster!”

“Beast!”

“Demon!”

The mare before me had grabbed a spear, her horn alight and her eyes wild with fury as she’d screamed, “Go back to hell where you belong!”

oOo

My eyes snapped open as I leapt up, wings flared, panting and dripping in a cold sweat. I looked around me quickly, spinning in place in the grass as I scanned the area around me. Nothing. Nothing but the silence of the forest, of the night.

Slowly, I touched my hoof to the place the mare had stabbed me.

My eyes closed as I slid back down to the ground. Memories, why was it always the memories?

And so, I began to sob, tears flowing freely, blood red dripping to the grass beneath me.

My name is Emeris Fillson. I was one human. I am not a bad person.

I’m not.

I’m not.

I swear I’m not...

Somebody... anybody... please... help me...

Author's Note

And so it begins.

Based off of a concept spawned by this comment.

The Emeris in this story is the same Emeris as in the other, the only difference between the two stories is the curse's effects on other ponies. This story will have an ending, feel free to say what you think that ending should be.