Dreams: Humanity

"Two are better than one: they get a good wage for their labor. If the one falls, the other will lift up his companion. Woe to the solitary man! For if he should fall, he has no one to lift him up."

— Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Chapter 4: Joke's on You

It was the dawn of the first day after the party, I having gotten to sleep relatively early to avoid talking to anyone and possibly having to explain my absence from the party, just in case anyone noticed.

I woke up early too, though, before anyone else in the library, when I felt the pangs of hunger spike through my stomach. With a mission in mind and stomach alike, I set out to complete my objective. Sneaking down the stairs and into the kitchen, I realized I didn’t know where to look for anything. The kitchen was like a smaller human kitchen, everything was shorter but wider as well. The ceilings were high enough for me to stand straight, but to get at any of the shelves I had to duck a little.

And after a few minutes of searching, my search produced no fruits (or anything else I could eat) and I had to accept defeat and go find something to eat. I decided to leave Twilight to sleep in, partly because I was grateful for her allowing me into her home, and partly because I didn’t feel like answering the bombardment of questions that weren’t asked before. Nevertheless, I left her to it.

Once I got outside, however, I had a problem. I didn’t know where food was, and it was too early to ask anyone I knew.

‘You could hunt in the Everfree Forest. I’m sure there’s nothing dangerous in there, at least not more dangerous than waking someone up.’ Mirror chuckled, ‘Actually, I would love to see your face when you first see a cockatrice…’ I knew enough about mythology to not push the issue. Of course, that presented yet another problem: who to ask?

Fluttershy would probably be the least angry at being woken up, but Pinkie was guaranteed to have food, she lived in a bakery after all. Rainbow was out of the picture, and I didn’t know where Applejack lived so she was out too. I hadn’t spoken to Rarity enough to know how she would react, but she seemed nice enough.

And she was close, so I decided to head there. She at least seemed relatively mellow compared to Pinkie.

The walk was uneventful and as I expected there was no one on the streets (it was about seven or so) and as such it was quiet. As beautiful as Ponyville was, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at the lack of activity, or the sky being so… Clear. The lack of electricity was strange at first, but I adjusted to that much quicker (although watching a torch attached to a wooden wall in a tree was really trippy) than the former.

When I did reach Rarity’s boutique, I did a quick peek through the windows to check for signs of life… And I was surprised to see them. I couldn’t make out much, but I saw her hunched over what looked to be a table, and she was looking over… Pants… She was looking at a pair of human pants.

I knocked on the door. “Come in!” I did so, ducking into the building and I was instantly surprised. On the table I had noticed was some kind of suit, white with a red undershirt. It was made of what looked like silk, and the funniest part? It looked like it would fit well.

“Rarity, what is that?” I asked, addressing the outfit on the table. She looked at it, looked at me, and laughed awkwardly.

“Shoot, it was supposed to be a surprise.” She pouted, floating the clothes over to me. “Well, since you’re here I suppose you can try it on?” She said hopefully, looking up at me with big sapphire eyes. “I tried to go off the measurements I got on the clothes you already have, but the labels weren’t too clear on everything, so I eyeballed it. Although, if I could take some measurements after you try it on, that would help for next time.” I wasn’t sure whether to ask how she knew my clothes sizes or how she would know half the measurements we used anyways.

“Sure. So, listen, where can I change?” I asked, looking around the room and not seeing anywhere that looked suitable.

“Right there’s fine.” She answered, turning to look for the tools of her trade.

I coughed, scratching my chin as I thought over that. “Listen, I know you don’t wear clothes really, but humans... Do. It’s a weird thing, but it’s socially unacceptable to change in front of someone you hardly know.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t mind. And it’s not like anyone else is around to see.” She looked at me, a sly grin on her face as she turned away, bending over to grab a tape measure as she did so. If I didn’t know better, I would say she did that on purpose. Not able to argue her point, I shrugged and quickly threw off my clothes. I looked over to find her casually humming as she rifled through drawers, not focused on me in the slightest. I looked over the clothes quickly and, finding they were a decent size, I put them on. They actually fit fairly well, all things considered. They were a bit flashy, not my style, but I couldn't complain.

Let me point out that the boutique is full of mirrors. Seriously, it’s 30% clothes, 60% mirrors and 10% everything else. Funnily enough, I didn’t notice all the mirrors until I noticed Rarity was very focused on one of them, specifically one of the ones aimed in my general direction. Is she… No… She’s not checking me out. I cleared my throat, hoping to get her attention. I did, but not in the way I hoped.

She jumped, shouting, “Just looking for my tools!” She ran off into the back room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind her. ‘She was totally checking you out.’ Let’s not talk about this now. ‘Boy, I sure do wonder what kind of tools Rarity has back there. We should look!’ Shut up. I don’t want to talk about it. ‘Come on, I bet she’d let you help.’ An image popped into my head of the white mare in a compromising position, and I groaned. Mirror, can you fuck off for a bit? ‘Mission accomplished!’

I decided to wait it out, and hope that she wasn’t doing what I thought she was doing, but I was surprised when she called out my name.

“Cian! Can you do me a favor?”

No. “Well, I guess so.”

“I was supposed to pick up some spices from Zecora later today, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it. Something’s just come up!”

I shook my head, not asking what that something was. “Yeah, I guess. Is she down that dirt road that leads into the forest?”

“Yep!”

I almost left without changing, but I caught myself and called out to Rarity, “Hey, should I just leave these clothes here?”

She came bolting out of the back room, slightly sweaty, “Heavens, no! I’ll wash your clothes for you, and you can wear the outfit I made you!” Oooookay? “Actually, let me just…” Her horn glowed for a moment, my clothes mimicked the glow, and suddenly I felt a little cleaner. “There, your clothes won’t get the slightest bit dirty.”

I was stunned. My first impression was that she was a stuck up bitch, but suddenly, she wasn’t. “Thanks, Rarity. That’s… Generous. Magic or no, though, I don’t want to ruin your clothes.”

She turned away, her cheeks turning red. “Really darling, it’s nothing. The clothes are yours, not mine.”

“These look expensive, I seriously can’t…”

“Nope! They’re yours, don’t argue about it. Go now, shoo!” She pushed me out the door with her magic and shut the door, locking it behind me.

I looked at the door, looked away, looked back, and shrugged. I walked towards the forest, when a rumbling in my stomach reminded me of my original objective. I shook my head, deciding to ask Fluttershy for food when I passed. I hurried through the town, watching as activity trickled into the streets. Luckily, I avoided starting any conversations, although I swear I saw a mare with electric blue hair try to call out to me. That would have to wait until I had some food, and I didn’t know who to trust just yet. Although, they did seem rather friendly, it wouldn’t have been the first time something happened.

I hurried along as more and more ponies left their homes to enter the light of day, until I finally saw my goal: the cottage. To be honest, I didn’t expect much. I mean, I expected a little house, and maybe a garden or something. You know, simple. I didn’t expect the small zoo that was actually there. To the left of the house was a large fenced off area full of animals. There were birdhouses, chicken coops, burrows, trees and things I don’t even know the names to. And there were at least several dozen kinds of animals, so many in fact I couldn’t name them all, but there were what you expected, birds, badgers, beavers, bovines, a bear, etc. And, even though they shouldn’t be able to get along, they seemed to either do so or just ignore one another.

I was watching the animals do their thing when I heard a door open to my right, and I turned to see a certain cream colored pegasus leaving her home. Fluttershy was wearing a set of saddlebags with pink butterflies on them, just like the ones on her.

When she noticed me, she seemed surprised but smiled and waved.

“Hi Cian.” She greeted me in her quiet voice and then, noticing my fascination with her animals, said, “Some of the animals stay here most of the time, and some only come for food. They get along, thankfully.”

I nodded, “I wish it was that way where I came from. Nothing gets along, not even humans.” I chuckled, “Where you headed?” I decided to change the subject before I had to answer too many questions.

“I have to see Zecora, one of the animals is sick.”

“Oh, that’s funny. I’m going to see her too.” She seemed to brighten a bit, and she turned to the forest. “Walk with me?” I suggested, as I began to walk towards the forest. She didn’t respond, but I heard her walking behind me so I assumed it was a yes.

We walked into the forest in silence, though as the edge of the forest slowly faded into trees, I felt I had to fill the silence with something.

“So… Wonderful weather we’re having.” I commented, looking up at the grey sky between the tree branches. Unlike the rest of town, the Everfree seemed to be uncontrolled, constantly spawning rogue storms for the rest of the town. At least, that’s what I had heard from my current companion.

“Oh, I guess.” She replied, not paying attention. Wow. Good job brain.

“So, which animal is sick?” I tried a different subject, only to get a similar result.

“Angel Bunny. He has a fever.” Right…

‘Maybe you should hit on her.’ What? ‘Yeah! I know you have some pickup lines in this noggin of yours.’ Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? ‘I… I don’t know. Unless… Oh no.’ … What?

If she responded, I didn’t hear her over the sound of my foot catching on something, and before I knew it I was in a small grove of blue flowers.

“Cian, no!” I heard Fluttershy call out, and a few seconds later I was pulled out of the flowers by my leg. “That’s Poison Joke!”

What? “Poison Joke?” I chuckled, rolling onto my stomach. I got to my knees when I saw movement a few miles ahead, on the opposite side of the small clearing. It was a young woman with long auburn… No, she had shoulder length black hair. No, auburn. She was strikingly familiar, and once I recognized her I grinned. “Well, this is something to laugh about.” I rolled the miles… No, wait, I rolled across the few feet that were between us, kicking the woman’s feet from under her before pinning her to the forest floor. “Sis, I owe you a few birthdays.”

I saw the confusion in her face, before understanding. “So the flowers do cause hallucinations to humans.” She stated, before I was pulled off of her by someone else. The arms quickly disappeared, and the person behind me was gone when I turned around. I turned back to the woman and threw myself at her, but she sidestepped my clumsy lunge and kicked me in the side, knocking me to the dirt. I rolled away from her, when a black tentacle wrapped itself around my throat and lifted me into the air, tightening as I struggled in the air.

I looked down, eyes scanning the clearing for any sign of Fluttershy, hoping to find her absent… But she was standing where she had been, eyes locked onto me in fear. They met mine for a brief moment, but the look she gave me said enough.

She was going to be stupid. “You better fucking run!” I shouted at her, while I was still able to speak. She took a step backwards, trembling in horror, before she looked at me again, tears running down her face.

The tendril loosened its grip, as two grabbed my legs and I was dropped to the ground, and flung upwards again like a swing. For a moment, I had a clear view of woman.  I didn’t think on it for a second, I just reached behind me, and found the one piece of my world I still had.

And I sent two of them speeding into her shoulder, eliciting a scream from her and freeing me from the grasp of the tentacles. I fell to the forest floor hard, but I recovered quickly, jumping to my feet and firing again, though she sidestepped the shot and kicked the gun away. I paused for a second too long, and she kicked me in the jaw, knocking me back to the ground. I moved to get up again, but something smashed into the side of my head and everything became nothing.

*--^--*

I didn’t know what to expect when I woke up. The same infinite blackness I fell into, that I had seen on countless occasions, or the cold forest floor. I woke up instead in the warmth of a bed, and a familiar one at that. I was back at the library, and after looking out the window I could say it was night.

I wish I could say I knew what happened, but I didn’t. Fluttershy said only that I was attacked by something, and after that I was passed out, mumbling. Then I told her I needed to sleep, and to come back in the morning. Twilight didn’t ask any questions, at least not to me. Something did happen out there though, something not even Mirror could say. I was tripping pretty hard apparently, so can I trust what I saw? Was that my sister?

Am I alone here?

Well, I guess that’s it for now. Somehow, when I first saw this place, I expected it to be fairly peaceful. At least, I know it can’t get any worse.