An Optimal Adventure

The grainy video began.  It was an unboxing video being filmed for YouTube.  Eibhear placed a nondescript box onto a folding card table in his living room, then looked directly into his camera.

“I've finally got one," he began.  "My very own PonyPad.  I was so excited when I first heard about the new Equestria Online game."

He reached for a boxcutter knife as he continued, "I spent almost a decade playing World of Warcraft, and starting over in a new MMO never really appealed to me.  World of Warcraft was so polished.  Everything looked and felt right."

The boxcutter plunged between cardboard flaps and into the tape.  "The game was fun.  The only thing I didn't like was that I had to be in a group of people that I might or might not like in order to get anywhere."

The tape yielded to the boxcutter smoothly and swiftly.  "The majority of the game's lore could only be experienced through raids and dungeons.

Once fully cut and the box flaps were free, the boxcutter was put back from whence it was retrieved.  "The best stuff could only be obtained through heroic difficulty settings."

Eibhear looked into the box after opening it and emptied out all the packing peanuts into a bin next to the table.  A thin and very pink iPad-looking device was all that remained inside the box, along with a stand, a cordless controller, a power cable, and an ethernet cable.  "Still, despite all this, I had a lot of fun going through all the old dungeons and experiencing content that I couldn't while it was still relevant."

Everything was removed from the box and placed gently on the card table, then the box was discarded from the camera's view.  "I'd grab a few friends from my guild and we'd go ROFL-stomp old raids that were twenty to thirty levels too low for us, for what were little more than costume pieces by that point."

The stand was erected and plugged into the wall, followed by the ethernet cable that led from the other room where the router was.  The stand was plugged in to everything except for the actual PonyPad.  "I loved collecting things in-game.  World of Warcraft allowed me to collect things in a digital format so when it came time to move, I didn't have a lot of packing to do."

Eibhear looked down at the PonyPad.  It was pink.  Very pink.  Pinkie Pie pink.  Eibhear looked back at the camera, "Well, I was hoping for a less girly-looking device, but I watch a show about cute magical pastel-colored ponies to begin with.  I don't really have room to talk."

Eibhear laughed to himself as he picked up the PonyPad and attached it to the stand, which gave a magnetic clink as it attached to the stand.  Now that the back of the PonyPad was visible to the camera, there did appear to be three balloons, two blue, one yellow, in the bottom left corner (bottom right if you were looking at the back instead of the front).  In the bottom right corner (or bottom left if you're looking at the back), there was a small flat button whose surface was flush with the rest of the PonyPad.

Eibhear finished assembling everything and gave it a last look over.  "You know, it may be pink, but it has Best Pony™'s cutie mark, so it's all good."  He picked up the controller and pressed a button on it.  Nothing happened.  He reached around the pad, feeling for the power button, which he found.  After depressing and releasing the power button, the screen flickered on.

"The PonyPad was purchased secondhand from GameStop," Eibhear continued his narration for the video.  "Someone didn't want their 'values satisfied through friendship and ponies' it seems.  That's what the clerk told me when I purchased it.  The previous owner had spoken with the in-game Celestia and that's what she said she did.  She satisfied values through friendship and ponies.  Thinking it was silly, he traded it in to GameStop for store credit and bought a different game instead."

Eibhear turned the PonyPad around on the table so the screen was facing the camera.  A couple of Earth Ponies ran by in glorious 3D graphics pulling behind them banners that said "Equestria Online!" among other things.  A Pegasus flew through the air pulling another banner above the first one that said "Welcome to", so together it would read "Welcome to Equestria Online!".

"So now I have it.  I'm expecting to log in and have a character already made because of the previous owner.  So let's get started, shall we?”

Eibhear pressed a button on the controller, hoping it would do something, but nothing happened.  His expression changed to one of confusion.  He walked over to the box to see if there were any instructions, and there were.  Aside from basic setup, the only other instruction was to say out loud, "Let's go to Equestria!"  It seemed a bit odd, but the camera was still rolling.

"Let's go to Equestria," Eibhear said, thoroughly feeling silly, but excited at the same time.

The title screen was replaced by a scene of the throne room in Canterlot Castle.  Princess Celestia was sitting on her throne, looking down at a red Unicorn at the foot of the stairs.

“You're not Richard,” she said with her gentle voice.

“That's awesome," Eibhear remarked, "show-accurate voices."

The princess turned her head to look at Eibhear instead of the unicorn, as if she was looking through the screen at him.  “Yes.  Where's Richard?” she asked.

“I don't know Richard," Eibhear replied, "I'm guessing he's the previous owner of the PonyPad?”

Celestia simply continued looking at Eibhear through the screen.  After a moment of silence, he realized she probably couldn't say even if it was.  “Sorry, there's probably confidentiality... never mind.  Anyways, I ordered this PonyPad used at GameStop's website and picked it up at the store.  I hope that's not a problem.”

Princess Celestia paused to think for a moment, then the smile returned.  “Since Richard doesn't seem to be playing Equestria Online anymore, will you be creating an account in his stead?” she asked.

“Yes, I will.”

“Alright, I will need some information from you then.”

Celestia vanished and was replaced by a web form to fill out.  First Name, Last Name, E-mail address, password, preferred log-in ID, pretty standard stuff.

"Alright, I'm going to cut the feed here so I don't reveal all my personal information on the internet."  Eibhear stood up and turned the camera off, ending the video.