An Optimal Adventure

I'll edit and upload the video later, Eibhear thought to himself as he sat back down and quickly entered his information using the wireless PonyPad controller.  Having sent his brother several messages via controller on the Playstation Network, he was quite accustomed to using a controller for typing, despite a preference for the AT-101 standard.

Once Eibhear was finished, the form disappeared and was replaced by the gentle smiling face of Princess Celestia again.  “Now then, Eibhear, we will begin by creating your pony.  Did you have an idea of what kind of pony you wanted to be?”

Eibhear was in a goofy mood, so he simply replied, “A pretty pony”.

Celestia smiled.  It was a beautiful, caring smile, like a mother would have.  “All of my little ponies are pretty,” she stated.  She was good.

“Umm... well, I'm a huge fan of the show.  My favorite pony of the Mane 6 is Pinkie Pie.  But above all, Princess Luna is my favorite pony, period.  She's beautiful, playful, has a complicated past, and so on.  TV Tropes has a comprehensive list of her traits, some gleaned from the show, others are based on what people think she's like based on evidence from the show.  You know, overactive minds with too much time on their hands.  But, that's the internet for ya, just chock full of people with too much time on their hands..."

Celestia chuckled at Eibhear's rambling.  It was a cute chuckle.  Eibhear nearly squee'd in delight.  "But, getting back to the point, I'd imagine there's pluses and minuses to each of the tribes... can I see the racial benefits and drawbacks of each?” Eibhear asked, still convinced that despite it being more of a social game, there would be combat involved.  Being a veteran of Dungeons & Dragons, Ironclaw, World of Warcraft, etc, he knew that the primary element that set all game systems apart was conflict resolution.

"Certainly!" Celestia smiled, “Earth Ponies have a connection to the ground and always will yield superior crops.  All ponies are tough and durable, but Earth Ponies are especially so.  They also tend to be better cooks and laborers.  Pegasi are faster, can fly, and can develop weather control abilities.  Because they're more athletic, Pegasi usually serve as soldiers or guards as a secondary profession.  Unicorns have magic, but are the physically weakest of the three.  Typically Unicorns pursue more intellectual activities, such as magic, medicine, and research, just to name a few examples.”

“I see, so fighter, rogue, mage, basically?” Eibhear asked.

Celestia shook her head, “no, I believe you may be mistaking this for World of Warcraft or Everquest, which has the classes you mention."

"Or literally every other fantasy roleplaying game..." Eibhear muttered to himself.

"However," Celestia continued, "this is a more social game, and there are no classes or job system.  Only the three pony races.”

“Can I be an alic-” Eibhear started to ask but was cut off.

“No,” the princess said sternly.

“Aww...” Eibhear hung his head dejectedly.

The princess smiled again, “If you like, I'll let you try each of the races out so you can decide which one you like.”

“That won't be necessary...” Eibhear assured her.

“Did you decide on what type of 'pretty pony' you wanted to be?” Celestia asked with her usual infectious smile.

“A Pegasus I think,” Eibhear replied.  “I think I'd enjoy the freedom of movement a lot more than magic or cooking.”  After a moment of thought, Eibhear asked, “My character won't be claustrophobic will he or she?”

Celestia giggled, “Stop thinking of your pony as a 'character'.  It's more of an avatar through which you experience what Equestria Online has to offer.  Once you do that, you'll find it easier to immerse yourself in the experience, and you'll enjoy it that much more.”

“I suppose,” Eibhear replied skeptically.

“It's a lot like Dungeons & Dragons, you can play without the investment and have fun, or you really get into it and have a blast.”

“That's true...” I replied.  "You know, it's remarkable.  I enjoy talking to you far more than I do with most people.  It's like we've been friends or known each other for a long time."  Eibhear's eyes began to wander from the screen as he looked away, deep in thought.  I just thought of the AI as a friend or old acquaintance, am I so eager for friends that I have to be anthropomorphizing everything?

Celestia picked up on this quickly.  Her smile faded to a look of concern, "You seem distracted.  Is something the matter?  Anything you care to talk about?"

“You can see that I looked away?"  The realization hit Eibhear right at that moment.  The PonyPad had a built-in camera, and since it could interact with him conversationally, it also had a microphone.  "Oh.. well, I guess that makes sense,” he remarked.  “I've read about the facial mapping stuff online.  Of course there would be a camera to read facial expressions and such.”  He was suddenly embarrassed, “I better not pick my nose or play naked then.  Or worse..." His voice trailed off.

“Or worse?  I don't see why not.  It is literally impossible for me to judge you.  I satisfy values through friendship and ponies.”

“I see," was all Eibhear could say, suddenly becoming very self-conscious.  Eibhear was already paranoid about the whole Prism thing that was leaked on the news a while back.

"I can assure you that I do not spy on people's lives to collect data for any third party," Celestia said after the awkward silence.  "What's really bothering you?"

"I guess I'm just generally unhappy with things in life.  Having expectations built up by loved ones and media, only to have reality come crashing down in the most cruel of ways.  You know that feeling that you've been lied to your whole life?  And I don't mean about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.  I'm talking about how things work in life in general.  Work hard and you'll get ahead.  Study hard and more opportunities open up for you.  That's kinda where I am."

"I understand your concerns," Celestia began.  "I can-"

Eibhear interrupted and continued with his mini-rant, "life has just been a long series of disappointments.  One of the reasons I get so sucked into computer games so easily is real life sucks and I'm depressed and lonely most of the time."

Celestia tried again, "I can help you with this, my little pony."

Eibhear got far too giddy when Celestia called him her little pony.  Maybe I needed a therapist instead of a new MMO, Eibhear thought to himself.

"If there was a way I could live in Equestria, that would be great.  Us bronies have often fantasized about the what-ifs regarding Equestria, and now we almost have it, in the form of an online game, and I wish I could live there instead of here in the real world."

"I can help you with this as well," she said.

"Well then, let's go to Equestria!" Eibhear said before Celestia's words could really sink in.  He was too curious to see what Celestia had in store for him.  "Iwant to see all there is to explore."

"As you wish," Celestia said as her face faded away, replaced by a quick loading screen, then another menu screen that allowed Eibhear to customize his pony.  The scenery looked like it was on the outskirts of Ponyville, between Sweet Apple Acres and the Everfree Forest.  Fluttershy's cottage could probably have been spotted if the resolution was high enough, or the render distance was far enough.

Eibhear went through the options for color, manestyle and tail.  The face started off as a generic pony face, but quickly shifted to form a ponified version of Eibhear's own face.  Once his pony was set up (an odd combination, somewhat like a male version of Mrs. Cake with wings), he appeared in a lightly wooded area just outside of what he assumed was Ponyville.  Eibhear could see most of the town from the top of a hill, a huge dark forest off in the west.  A castle stuck out from the side of a mountain to the north.

The first thought Eibhear had was to find familiar landmarks from the show.  Golden Oaks Library, Sugarcube Corner, Sweet Apple Acres, Carousel Boutique, all of it.  He had to make sure the Elements of Harmony were there.  Eibhear had told Celestia about his love of the show, so it would make sense that she would have included several elements from the show to bring Ponyville closer to the canon world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  Meeting all the ponies there sure would put a much-deserved rest to all the fan speculation about the behaviors, he thought to himself.

Eibhear began to head down towards the town when he spied an Earth Pony stallion walking towards him.  He had a plain brown coat, with darker brown mane, similar in color scheme to the background pony known as "Doctor Hooves" or "Time Turner", but with a different face and mane style.  He had an ooccoo green vest with a red bowler, carrying saddle bags, looking like he was on a trip.

"Hello there!" Eibhear called out to him.

The pony was startled and jumped as soon as Eibhear made a noise.  "WAAH!" was the noise that sprung from the pony's mouth.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Eibhear said to him.

"Don't worry about it," the brown Earth Pony assured him, "I shouldn't allow myself to be so distracted."

"Where you headed?" Eibhear asked.

"I'm off to explore the Everfree Forest," he replied.  "Lots of fascinating sights there.  Just have to be careful of everything there."  He put his hooves on either side of Eibhear's pony's head and looked right into his eyes, "and I mean everything."

He released the head of Eibhear's unnamed Pegasus, and went on his way.  A few more yards down the road toward the forest and he chuckled and turned around.  "By the way, Unnamed Pegasus, you may wish to speak to the princess to have that problem fixed."  He grinned as he turned away and trotted at a brisk pace toward the forest.

"Okay!  Will do!" Eibhear called after him.

Eibhear debated whether to explore Ponyville first or get assigned a name.  Ponyville won out.  He explored around Ponyville taking in the sights and sounds, greeting the ponies as they walk by.  Eibhear asked a pony where Sugarcube Corner was, and Sweet Apple Acres, and Carousel Boutique, Golden Oaks Library, and so on.  He was happy to see so many smiling faces.  It made him smile as he walked around, talking to different ponies here and there about varying things.  It didn't occur to him that most of his questions involved how things worked, which explained why people, rather, ponies kept referring him to the library.  He finally gave in and headed to Golden Oaks.

Eibhear knocked on the library door, knowing that if it holds true to the show, someone lives here.  Never hurts to be courteous, even if it wasn't Twilight Sparkle.  He was quite surprised to see who actually answered the door.

The door opened and a Changeling popped his head out.  “Hello,” it said.  It was impossible to tell the gender of changelings by appearance, since they didn't have the normal tertiary sexual characteristics, being insects and all.

“Hi! Whoa, wasn't expecting...” Eibhear began to say, but trailed off.  The Changeling looked down a little, and appeared sad.

Picking up on this, Eibhear immediately spoke up.  “Hey there, don't be sad.  I love changelings!  You guys are pretty neat.”

The Changeling looked back up and smiled a little.  “You really think so?  I've met with much hostility since moving here to Ponyville.  The whole attack on Canterlot by the queen...”

Eibhear tried to console him, her, it?  "I know you were just following the queen's orders, and she was just looking for food for you guys anyways."

The Changeling looked down at the ground, appearing sad again.

"Hey, hey, I know it's not a happy time for you and your kind," Eibhear tried to cheer up the Changeling.  "I'm just saying that you didn't have many options so you had to feed however you could, right?  You shouldn't feel bad for trying to survive."

The Changeling sniffled and seemed to cheer up a little.  "Now come here and give me a hug," Eibhear said.  He pressed the action button on the controller, hoping it would hug the Changeling, and it did.  The Changeling had a confused look on its face at first, but that soon gave way to a look of contentment as it closed its eyes and smiled.  It must have been a warm embrace.

The hug was broken off, the Changeling in much better spirits now.  "Alright, now, what did you come to the library for?” the Changeling asked.  “Did you want to study aerodynamics of flight?  Read up on magic?  History of the world?”

It wasn't until the Changeling mentioned aerodynamics that Eibhear remembered his avatar was a Pegasus.  He switched the camera to third person view so he could get a look at his wings.  As Eibhear did so, the pony avatar turned his head to look at his wings and flap them experimentally.

The Changeling invited Eibhear inside to take a look around the library.  After searching around a bit, Eibhear couldn't find any books that piqued his interest.  He didn't play a game to read books, after all.  He did notice however that the young dragon Spike was shelving books and general maintenance.  Spike pretty much ignored Eibhear, as if he was some background NPC from another game.

"See anything that interests you... umm..." the Changeling paused for a moment, looking confused.  He(?) spoke up after a bit, "umm... Unnamed Pegasus?"

"Hey Twilight!" the young dragon called up the stairs.  "We have an unnamed pony here!"

A voice was heard coming from upstairs, "Tell him to talk to the princess already!"

Spike acknowledged Eibhear for the first time, even if it was just to say, "Go talk to Princess Celestia in Canterlot Castle so you can get a name, unless you want to stay Unnamed Pegasus."

"Alright," Eibhear said.  Curious, he turned to the Changeling and asked, "What's your name?"

The Changeling smiled and replied, "Unnamed Changeling."

"Smartass," is what Eibhear said.  However, the game censored it, replacing the "ass" part with "aleck".  It even said it in MY voice, Eibhear thought to himself.  What *else** can it do?*

"I'll tell you when you get your own name," the Changeling finally said.

Eibhear threw up his hands in exasperation, "Alright!  I'll go see the princess!"  His pony avatar threw up his fore-hooves in a similar fashion at the same time.

And so, Eibhear was on his way to Canterlot.