An Optimal Adventure

Griffith was on his way home from work in the evening as usual.  As he got in the car, he would turn on his bluetooth headset and place a call to his brother.  Usually they would talk about video games, funny things they saw on YouTube or even funny pictures on the internet.  On occasion, they would even tell each other funny quotes from movies, TV shows and video games.  Entertainment-wise, they had a lot in common.

Except for one thing: Ponies.  Griffith's brother was obsessed with ponies, and it drove him nuts.  Griffith just didn't get the whole pony thing.  He tried.  If hard pressed, gun to the head, he had decided that the season two premiere was his favorite set of episodes, followed by Keep Calm And Flutter On.  John de Lancie's performance as Discord was always top notch.

His brother would go on and on about this or that pony thing as usual, and Griffith was very tempted to just hang up sometimes, but the two brothers really only had each other.  Well, Griffith was married and had a mother-in-law.  Thankfully no one in his social circles had any interest in ponies on his side of the country.

"Hey bro, whatcha doin'?  Anything not pony-related?"

His brother's voice came through the phone, "Nah, sorry bro.  It's all been pony-related."

"Of course," Griffith smiled.  This was normal.  Whenever Griffith's brother found something new to obsess over, he'd dive headfirst into it like there was nothing else in the world.  First it was roleplaying games, then Dance Dance Revolution, then furries, then World of Warcraft, and now ponies.

"Bro, I gotta tell you about what I did last night," the voice on the phone said.  "It's called the Equestria Experience!  You've GOT to try it once they get this over there-"

"You'll have to tell me later," his brother cut him off.  "The wife's expecting me to provide dinner tonight and I'm about to order."

Eibhear was crestfallen.  "Fast food?  Alright bro, catch ya later I guess."

Griffith's brother seemed awfully excited about something.  He was tempted to call him back to press him for info, even if it was pony-related.  Plus he felt a little bad about deflating Eibhear's excitement.  But he was on his way home again from work, and it was time to deal with his home life.  In some ways, Griffith envied his brother's almost-childlike sense of wonder and excitability.  He didn't regret getting married; He loved his wife with all his heart.  But sometimes he did miss the freedom of single life.

His curiosity was piqued though.  What is this.. Equestria Experience?  Why haven't I heard about it before?  To the internet!

-***-

"He didn't want to listen to your tales of last night's experience," Celestia said stoically.

"I can't blame him, really," Eibhear said.  "He literally has zero interest in ponies."

"You mentioned before that he liked the episodes with Discord, perhaps he'd like to interact with the draconequus in the game."

"You don't understand, princess."  Eibhear looked away from the PonyPad.  "Unlike me, he's happy with his life.  He doesn't need to escape it like I do."

"You never did tell me the reason for your reaction the night you came back from the Equestria Experience Center."

There was a long pause before Eibhear could collect his thoughts.  "Honestly, it was a painful reminder of what I can't have in life.  It's too perfect, and it frightens me..."

-***-

The big day had finally arrived.  The Equestrian Experience Center was about to have its grand opening.  Nine o'clock in the morning, and Eibhear had arrived by train.  He brought his PonyPad in his backpack, just in case the chairs were already occupied by the time he arrived.  He noticed a line had already formed, not unlike a brand new IKEA or Apple store.  It wasn't quite in the hundreds like it would for either of those stores; It was more like the dozens of people that show up for a midnight launch party of insert popular video game title here.

There was a wide variety of people there, ranging from high school nerds to the odd jock or two, loudly proclaiming how manly ponies were as if they were trying too hard to convince themselves.  Most of them were between the ages of twenty and thirty, Eibhear estimated, but only a few that were actually over thirty, including himself.  Several discussions were had throughout the line about who Best Pony™ was, best episode, best princess, best villain, best this, that, or the other thing.

The show was still going in full swing, so there was speculation about where the next season would take the ponies next.  They'd already traveled across the country and through time, fought countless villains, redeemed a couple, banished others, but only ever outright killed one or two of them.

Eibhear was about to walk to the end of the line when the gentleman from the week prior, Mr. Soto, recognized him and asked him to come to the front.  He eagerly ran up to the front and was let in before the first person in line, which caused a lot of rumbles and grumbles from everyone else in attendance.

Once inside and the door closed, Felipe turned his attention to Eibhear.  "Now, I want you to take note, Eibhear," he began.  "Emigration is not legal yet, so you don't have to worry about CelestAI whisking you away to the Equestria Online server farm."

"That's... comforting, I suppose," Eibhear said, then chuckled.  "CelestAI?"

"Yes," Felipe said.  "It's what the bigwigs at Hofvarpnir call it.  I'm surprised you never heard that before."

"I just call her Celestia, or Princess."

"You know she's not a princess, right?  She's an artif-"

Right at that moment, as if to deliberately interrupt Felipe, the wide screen monitor turned on, Celestia's radiant, smiling face appeared on the screen.  "Welcome Silver Streak.  As promised, you will be one of the inaugural customers to the Equestrian Experience!"

Felipe snorted at being interrupted.  "Let's get those shoes off and get you into the chair," he said in an annoyed tone.

One of the enclosures opened up.  Eibhear took his shoes off and put them into the small cubbyhole next to the enclosure.  Felipe helped Eibhear in there, with nary a word spoken by Eibhear or Felipe during this process.

"Felipe!" Celestia called out in loud whimsical manner, not unlike a game show host, while extending a hoof toward the door.  "Let in the next customer!"

-***-

Pretty soon, the place was packed.  Everybody, or everypony, as they would say, was busily chatting away with each other about their varying experiences with the game and how awesome it was.  There were a dozen or so enclosures that all had customers held within.

Snacks and refreshments were sold by a man and woman dressed up as human versions of Mr. and Mrs. Cake.  There was no alcohol though, since they had to keep the space available to as many people of all ages as possible.

It was a very friendly atmosphere as everyone ate and drank together, discussing ponies and playing Equestria Online, a lot of them were even in the same shard and getting into shenanigans together.  Quite a few of the more gamer-minded players formed a raid group together to take down a large adversary like they would in other MMOs.  There was definitely a party atmosphere that would've made Pinkie Pie proud for sure.

-***-

Silver Streak's eyelids blinked, and opened up.  The first thing to meet his eyes was Princess Luna's bedroom.  It was quite glamorous in its presentation.  The bed, the dresser, the closet, the writing desk, the bathroom even.  There was a large chest tucked away in the corner of the room.  Silver Streak briefly considered opening it to see what the princess kept in there, but thought better of it.

In the past week or so, he had been hanging out in Ponyville with Exuvia, trying to help him find more acceptance among the ponyfolk.  Silver Streak wasn't a great speaker, and often just made Exuvia's case worse.  Exuvia had thanked Silver Streak for trying, but went back to the library to continue working with Twilight Sparkle.  During Exuvia's stay, Twilight had been the most accepting pony, even if it was just for scientific curiosity and the opportunity to learn about a new culture.

Each night when Luna was done with her work, she would invite Silver Streak back to Canterlot for "Cuddle Time".  During these sessions, they would lie together.  Luna would wrap a wing around Silver Streak, and they would sing to each other.  Silver was fond of singing, but wasn't very good at it.  Luna was magnificent of course, and Silver was always entranced by it.  They didn't seem like they would mesh too well, but Silver did manage to make Luna feel special and appreciated.  Even loved.

He quietly left the room through the large door.  The guards, a white Pegasus and a black Unicorn standing vigilant in the hallway at either side of the entryway called out.  "Halt!" they said in unison, as if rehearsed.

Silver Streak jumped, "WHA!?"

"Come, your new quarters have been prepared for you."

"Alright!" he said excitedly.  "But, could you guys not scare me like that next time?"

The Pegasus guard chuckled.  He beckoned Silver Streak to follow them.  The both of them escorted Silver Streak down the hallway.  He could've sworn there weren't any stairs involved, but by looking out the windows, he saw that he was in a tower, then on the ground floor, then in another tower, within view of the first tower he was in.

"Wait a minute, how did we get here?"

The guards paused and looked at each other, then back to Silver Streak.  "Um, we walked?" the Pegasus said.

"That's not what I..."  Words failed him.  Silver grew frustrated.  It didn't make sense.  "There were no stairs!"

"Of course not," the Pegasus guard replied.  "This is Canterlot, not the Crystal Empire.  If you want stairs, up north is where you want to go."

"I'll notify Princess Cadence," the Unicorn guard said and began to walk off.

"No no no no," Silver dashed in front of the Unicorn to intercept him.  "No, this is fine.  I just... nevermind."

The three of them continued on their way through the halls of the castle until they found themselves in front of a nondescript wooden door.  The Pegasus guard opened the door, revealing the new bedroom.  "These will be your quarters," he said.  "Your balcony will have a view up to her majesty's balcony where the two of you can wave to each other, blow kisses, or fly over to visit."  The Unicorn guard chuckled.

Silver Streak entered his room and explored around, examining everything closely.

"You'll find that space is not Euclidean here," the Unicorn guard said, "and things may appear to be bigger on the inside than the outside."

"Like the TARDIS..." Silver Streak mused.

"The what-now?" the Unicorn raised an eyebrow.  "Your voice trailed off there..."

"The TARDIS, it stands for..." Silver Streak realized they would have no frame of reference.  "You know what?  Nevermind, it's magic, we don't gotta explain anything."

"Very well then," the Unicorn guard said, regarding him with curiosity.  He cleared his throat, then continued Orientation.  "Breakfast is being served in the castle hall at the moment, so you may join other ponies there."

The Pegasus guard spoke afterward, "you have a chest in your room to put all your things in.  It, too, is bigger on the inside than on the outside.  Lastly, you'll be needed at the academy later to continue leading the math studies."

"That's great!" Silver Streak shifted from hoof to hoof excitedly.

Silver Streak noticed the chest was identical to the one found in Princess Luna's room.  Now he was really curious what she kept in there.  He was too excited to go prying for now.  Everything had just become awesome in one fell swoop.  He was going to have an even harder time leaving this place than he thought.

Eibhear mentally ran through his finances real quick.  He knew he had two credit cards, one with a five thousand dollar limit and one with a two thousand dollar limit.  Both were at around the halfway mark, just enough to make paying either of them down a twenty year investment on his current wages.  His problem was that he had good credit, but lacked income.  So while he could apply for and receive credit cards, he could only dig himself into a deeper hole, regardless of how reliable he was in making his monthly payments.  It was by the grace of the princess that he was receiving a special deal as the inaugural customer for the center, an hour of time at a very low price of ten dollars, a one-time deal unfortunately.

That was all he needed.

"Excuse me, um, sirs," Silver tried to get the guards' attention.  "Might I speak to the princess?"

"Which one?" the Pegasus asked.

Silver planted his face in his hoof.  "The one that should be awake right now because it's daytime."

Both cleared their throats and looked around nervously before the Unicorn guard spoke up.  "Y-Yes, of course.  Right this way."

The guards led Silver Streak to the sun princess.  She was found just outside the banquet hall talking to a Changeling.  She turned to face Silver and the guards.  "Ah, here he is," she announced.

The Changeling's face turned to follow Celestia's, and the smile that grew would've made Pinkie Pie's day.  "You're here!  When they sent word for me at the library, I was worried that I was going to be interrogated because of my involvement at the wedding a few years back, and..."

Celestia looked back down at Exuvia.  "It's okay, my little Changeling."  Silver was amused by Celestia's word choice.  Everything was hers, and little.  "I've already given you my pardon for those events, and none of the guards should approach you for crimes committed in the past."

Silver approached the princess.  "Your Highness, if I may, I'd like to address you... umm... OOC-ly?  Is that possible?"

The princess nodded towards the guards.  "Take Exuvia to his room, then give him the tour.  Make him feel that he is welcome here."

"By your leave, your highness," they said in unison.  Both guards looked at the Changeling, "Come with us, we'll show you to your quarters."

"Um, okay," Exuvia said awkwardly as the guards escorted him.

Celestia watched the guards depart with the Changeling for a bit, then faced Silver Streak again.  "Talk to me Silver," she beckoned him to follow as she walked toward her throne room.

Once Celestia and Silver Streak reached the throne room, the princess dismissed all of the guards that were present.  Once the room was empty, her face turned from smiles to seriousness.  "What did you want to speak to me about?"

"My finances, mostly.  I can't afford to be here, after today, that is."

"Silver, we can talk about that when you're at home.  You don't really want to spend your time in the Equestrian Experience Center talking about real world concerns, do you?  Ponies come here to get away from all that and have a good time, sometimes for the first time in their entire life."

"Yeah, I suppose...  I only have what, an hour?"

"Yes.  I'd recommend you spend time with your friends, perhaps meet even more new ones."  Celestia lowered her voice to an almost sultry tone, "or perhaps you wish to see my sister again?"

"Nah, I couldn't do that, it's day time, she should be asleep."

Celestia smiled, "it pleases me that you express concern for others, even if they're 'just software constructs' as humanists would put it."  She closed her eyes, her horn aglow with a pale yellow light.  The sky outside began to dim from a light blue to a purple, and eventually black.  She grinned as she opened her eyes as her horn stopped glowing.  "But, did you forget who controls the day and night cycle?  Go to my sister and remind her that it is time to raise the moon.  Or, if she would rather spend time with you, I can do it instead."  Celestia winked.

Silver Streak smiled from ear to ear.  Another night with Luna! he thought excitedly to himself, well, an hour or so, anyways.  He immediately turned and ran out of the throne room and through the castle to find the massive door that led to Princess Luna's chambers.  Several guards eyed Silver cautiously as he ran by, a few of them with expressions that seemed to say "How rude!", while others just chuckled.

Silver was about to knock on the large iron door, but it opened before his hoof could make contact.  "Welcome, Silver."  The lovely voice came from inside the room, "please come in."  As Silver walked in, he saw Luna lying down, sprawled out on her bed, her mane and tail billowing in some unseen and unfelt wind.  She stretched out and yawned cutely as Silver Streak entered the room.

"Y-Your sister said th-that you c-could take tonight off if you wanted to uh, hang out again," Silver stuttered through.  Am I *always** going to be nervous around her?* he thought to himself.

Luna smiled.  She closed her eyes as her horn acquired a light blue aura similar to Celestia's horn had before.  A bright sphere could be spied out on the horizon.  Higher and higher into the sky it went until it reached its resting place in the night sky.  The moon had risen.

"It's quite alright," Luna smiled.  "I can do both."  Her eyes opened again, and with a glance over toward the balcony, the doors were opened.  She looked over to Silver Streak with a smile and asked "Shall we?"

The moon princess got up out of bed and trotted over to the ledge, beckoning Silver Streak to follow her.  What followed was a whirlwind of excitement and adventure as the two took to the skies soaring all around Canterlot mountain and over Ponyville and the Everfree Forest.  This is a perfect time for "A Whole New World" to be playing in the background, Silver Streak thought to himself.

Around the city, the castle, and the mountaintop they flew.  They stayed out of sight for the most part.  It seemed more exciting that way.  When they weren't flying, they were resting on rooftops, pointing and watching the various ponies go about their lives.

A magnificent feeling, flying was.  Silver Streak wanted so much for this night to last forever.  However, the end of his hour was rapidly approaching, and it was time to head back to Canterlot.  They arrived at Silver Streak's balcony where Luna gave Silver Streak a hug with her forelegs followed by wrapping her wings around him, pulling him closer.

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"I know your sister is the one that normally does this, but can you sing me to sleep this time?" Silver asked, eyes welling up.

"Certainly, Silver."  Luna joined Silver Streak in his comparatively modest bed and wrapped him in a warm embrace as she began to sing.  "Hush now dear pony, be still love, don't cry... Sleep as you're rocked by the stream... sleep and remember this sweet lullaby, so I'll be with you in your dreams..."

Silver Streak sighed contentedly.  He didn't want to leave.  The last thing he wanted to do was go back to his real life.  Why couldn't emigration be legal already? he thought sadly to himself.  His eyes closed and slept peacefully for the remainder of his hour, still feeling the warmth of the moon princess's embrace.

-***-

Later that day after work, Eibhear was back home on Equestria Online, waking up alone in his room again.  The new day's activities included teaching the math class since he missed it the day before, but this time it was multiplication and division.  Again, Silver Streak had his usual enthusiasm for teaching the class, and his heart melted as it normally did at seeing all the little fillies and colts with their large eyes and smiling faces.  Something seemed off though, and Celestia was quick to pick up on it.

Celestia asked Silver Streak to stay after class, then waited until after the last student had hugged Silver Streak and left.  "Is something the matter, Silver Streak?" She asked.

"Of course, Princess."  Silver Streak sighed, "You see right through me."

"Please, talk to me.  I want to see you happy, especially one who's suffered for so long."

"I don't know if I can wait until emigration is legalized locally.  I want to be there, uh, here, in Equestria, as soon as possible."

The phone rang.  Silver Streak ignored it.  He knew it was his brother.  It rang the usual four times before dropping off, followed by a voicemail almost a minute later.  It was like clockwork, whenever he missed his brother's calls.

"Aren't you going to check the message?" Celestia asked.

"Might as well see what he wanted," Eibhear sighed as he dialed up the number for voicemail and put in his password.  True enough, the voice of his brother leapt from the phone:

I have a question.  Why My Little Pony?  I guess it could be worse, you could've been a Twilight fanboy.  Although, if that were the case I don't know if I could talk to you again.

Griffith's voice was upbeat and cheerful, clearly joking about the Twilight fan threat.  "Delete."

Message marked for deletion.

Eibhear hung up the phone, but he was tempted to call back.  At that point, the phone rang again.

"Answer it," the princess commanded.

"Yes, your highness," Eibhear said as he bowed his head.  He put his Samsung T259 next to his head and spoke up.  "Hello?"

“Hey bro, what's up?” came the voice over the phone.

“Dude, sorry I missed your call.  But as for why ponies, it's because ponies are awesome.

"Yes, I know, there's a whole fandom around it, they call themselves bronies.  You've probably heard of them..." Griffith's tone was sarcastic, of course.

"Oh, speaking of ponies, since you brought it up..." Griffith could almost hear how big the smile in Eibhear's voice was, "that pony game I wanted to tell you about?  It's even more awesome than I thought!"

Eibhear excitedly gave the whole account of everything that went on, but he could imagine his brother was making blah blah motions with his hands as he listened.  "And I have this classroom of foals that I teach math to now, it's great!"

A red flag raised in Griffith's head.  “Wait, are you going to be one of those people that 'emigrate'?  Bro!  I can't let you do that.  I've been reading up on this thing, at least what little I could find about it, but it's frightening!  It's like... well, think of it as suicide, or like the transporters in Star Trek.”

Eibhear looked to Celestia for help, shrugging his shoulders.  “You're an adult, you don't need his permission,” she said.  Since Eibhear procured the tablet-like device, Celestia had been observing him, and had determined that he sought validation from outside sources as opposed to finding it within himself.  Celestia looked at Eibhear and smiled proudly, like a mother would.  This seemed to steel Eibhear's resolve.

Eibhear turned his focus back to the phone.  “Bro, I'm a cashier, no one's going to miss me."

"I will miss you!" the brother retorted angrily.  "Doesn't that mean anything?"

Eibhear remained resolute, "You'll still be able to contact me and keep in touch with a PonyPad!"

"I don't want a damn PonyPad!  I want my brother!"

"I don't have many friends, and even fewer options for relationships...”

“Then move out here bro!”

“That isn't going to magically fix everything in my life, Griff!" Eibhear was feeling stressed.  He hated confrontation, but as he looked at Celestia on the PonyPad, seeing her face with that proud smile gave him the strength he needed to press on.  "I'm in my mid-thirties, and I don't have a lot of time left to fix my problems.  Between my esteem issues, lack of income or marketable skills, other problems that will follow me no matter where I move, the world just doesn't need me.  With emigration, I can at least be happy.  Plus, like I said, she can send you a PonyPad to keep in touch...”

"Bro, she will manipulate you, tell you want you want to hear, she'll do whatever it takes to make you agree to this emigration thing.  And for the last time I don't want no damn PonyPad!"

“Let me speak to him,” Celestia said to Eibhear.  Eibhear put the phone next to the PonyPad so she could talk into the receiver.  “Is this Silver Streak's brother?”

“Who's this, now?” Eibhear's brother asked, then clenched his teeth.  “And his name is Eibhear.”

“This is Princess Celestia from Equestria Online, and I had a question for you.”

“Oh no, I'm not talking to you, and I won't have you taking my brother!”

“Why don't you want your brother to be happy?” she asked.  Just plain, bald-faced bluntness.

“How... DARE you?” Eihear's brother challenged her.  “You don't have the right-”

Celestia spoke over him, “It's clear that he is not happy with his life on Earth, and I'm offering him a chance to be happy and have his values satisfied through friendship and ponies.  Did you know that he had considered committing suicide before he found ponies?

"As he stated, he has very few friends here, and I would solve that problem by providing friends for him.  He has stated he has no romantic options in this world because growing up he was lied to regarding what women prefer in a mate.  I would solve that problem by providing him with the companionship he seeks.

"He spoke very highly of you being his only friend growing up and well into adulthood.  He even referred to you as his BBBFF, which I understand to mean 'Big Brother Best Friend Forever'.  He would love to have you join him in Equestria, because family is one of the things he values most.  Out of everyone on Earth, I would have expected you to understand.  He feels his life has no meaning on Earth.  I would provide that meaningful life for him in Equestria.”

Eibhear's brother was just getting angrier at the audacity of this Celestia, listening to her speak, until he had finally heard enough.  “Put.  My brother.  Back.  On the phone.”

“Very well,” Celestia responded.  She looked up at me, “He wants to speak with you now.”

Eibhear picked up the phone again and placed it against his ear, then spoke timidly, “Hello?”

“Bro, I can't believe you're honestly thinking about doing this... but I can't stop you.”

“I'm sorry bro, I didn't expect the princess to be so... blunt.”

“STOP CALLING HER PRINCESS.”  Griffith was angry.  “She's not a princess, she's not even the stupid horse from that stupid cartoon, she's an artificial intelligence.  She'll tell you whatever you want to hear to get you in her clutches.”  An uncomfortable silence fell across the phone conversation as Eibhear's eyes began to well up with tears.  "But it sounds like she's got you already anyways."  Another awkward silence fell between the two.  Only the sound of breathing could be heard.

Griffith broke the second silence first, “Look bro, I'm sorry, but I can't support you in this.  But please, understand where I'm coming from, and what this sounds like to me.”

“I know bro, it sounds like I'm going in to kill myself, and I'm sorry too.  I'm sorry that I disappointed everyone that thought I had such great potential.  If Dad were still alive, he'd probably die from heartbreak after seeing the mess I've become.  Hell, he's probably turning in his grave now as it is!”

“Well, I'm home now, so I'll have to let you go,” Griffith said.  “Just, please bro, think about this completely before doing anything.  There's no undoing it once it's done.  You know you have a tendency to jump into things head first without thinking, and I'm just afraid it's going to bite you in the ass real hard this time.”

“Yeah I know, first it was the whole furry thing, then the World of Warcraft thing, and now the whole pony thing...”

"Catch ya later bro..." Griffith said in a sad tone.

-***-

Griffith pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, slamming the door shut.  "God damn... RRRRRGH!"  He was angry to the point of not even being able to steady his hand to put the key into the hole on the doorknob.  Eventually he gave up and rang the doorbell.

His wife answered the door, "Hi honey, how was work today?"  She wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace.  It always had a calming effect on Griffith, like the tranquilizing effect of a cat's purring.  She could sense that something was wrong though, as Griffith's return hug didn't have as much heart in it.

"Eibhear's going to emigrate," he replied, tears in his eyes.  "He's going to go to one of those Equestria Experience Centers and get his brain scooped out in the name of having his 'values satisfied through friendship and ponies'."  Griffith didn't much care for ponies before, but with this new development, he began to outright loathe them.

"Honey, I know you want the best for your brother.  But he's an adult, and has to make his own decisions in life.  You can't watch after him forever, and especially not from across the country."

"You're right, of course," Griffith bowed his head and leaned it on his wife's shoulder.  "But it... it's just not right..."

"Honey, all we can do is be supportive, even if we don't agree with what he's doing..."

"You seem oddly okay with this," Griffith remarked.

"Honey," she said with a tear in her eye, leaning her head on Griffith's chest, "sometimes when you love something you have to let it go..."

-***-

Eibhear sat back in his chair at the computer and looked back at the PonyPad.  Celestia's warm and proud smiling face looked back at him.  “You're not committing suicide,” she said.  “You would enjoy a maximally prolonged life where I satisfy your values through friendship and ponies.”

“That... that would be nice...” Eibhear said sadly.  “I get really lonely, like, all the time.  Even having someone to talk to is special for me.

"I really enjoyed teaching the foals in Canterlot as well... I'd really like to continue doing that.  I'll have to brush up on my math of course.  Maybe do Algebra and Geometry, even Calculus eventually.”

"Yes," she replied.  "You can always come teach the math class whenever you like."

"And, I will be happy?"

"You will be satisfied."

"That sounds a lot like happy."

Celestia smiled.

"I would very much like to emigrate to Equestria..."

"I cannot help you emigrate from your home on your PonyPad," she reminded Eibhear.  "You would have to visit one of the Equestria Experience Centers where emigration has been legalized."

"Where's the closest one that allows emigration?"

"Stuttgart, Germany."