An Optimal Adventure

"WHAT?!?"

Celestia simply nodded.  “There are Equestria Experience centers that are being set up in different locations around the world.  Japan was the first and had received exclusivity rights with a $15,000 price tag for non-nationals for the first year.  Equestria Experience Centers were installed in Europe soon after.  Now, I have centers in the United States, but they do not have emigration enabled yet.  There's still some legislation that needs to happen before the emigration switch can be 'flipped on'.”

“That'd be awesome, Princess.  I'd love to be able to live here for real.”  Eibhear was smiling for a bit, but then the smile broke as a thought crossed his mind.  There were a few things that he didn't think of.  What about family?  What about the few friends he did have in the real world?

“What's wrong, Silver Streak?” Celestia asked.

Eibhear swallowed the lump in his throat.  “As much as I'd love to live here, will I ever see my family and friends again?” Eibhear asked.  His eyes started getting a little misty, thinking about everything he'd have to leave behind: Worldly possessions, regular contact with his brother who he would game with regularly, and a few of his friends. He wouldn't worry about missing work, of course.

“Sure you can,” Celestia smiled.  “They can either acquire a PonyPad, or they can emigrate as well.”

“I don't know how you'd ever get my brother to emigrate, if he was only mildly annoyed by ponies before, he's certainly crossed over into hatred by now," Eibhear pointed out.

"At some point his desire to not be a pony will be in conflict with his desire for survival."

"Wow..." The princess has an answer for everything it seems... Eibhear thought to himself.  "Well, let's go to Equestria."

Eibhear thought he saw Celestia's smile slip away from her face as she faded away, the camera refocusing again on the light cerulean Pegasus, Silver Streak.  As Eibhear thought about it more, the name seemed a little odd.  Light Cerulean coat, light crimson mane, and the name was Silver Streak.  He decided to pay it no heed as went about catching up with his Changeling friend, Exuvia.

As they ran around the castle and explored, Exuvia stayed in his Changeling shape so as to not make anypony paranoid.  He was very considerate for a Changeling.  It also helped that the love flowed freely, and no disguise was necessary.

With all the rambunctiousness and tomfoolery, Eibhear couldn't help but be glad that the control scheme was simple to acclimate to.  Directional pad for X- and Y-axis movement, buttons that functioned as up and down for a Pegasus, action buttons for acceleration, weather manipulation, and so on.

Still, something seemed to be missing though, and it only took a few more laps around the castle and into the courtyard to figure out what it was.  The total immersion was broken.  It was more obvious than before that he was just controlling an avatar and felt nothing of what happened on the screen.  Even though he had only been to the Equestria Experience Center twice (because he couldn't afford to go more than that), it had completely spoiled him on interacting with the game from just the PonyPad.

"Is something wrong?" Exuvia asked.

It wasn't until then that Silver Streak noticed, Celestia did seem to ask him what was wrong, getting him to talk about his feelings and desires, literally ALL the time.  Was this part of a ploy to get him to reveal more of himself to her, or did she legitimately care?  He wanted to believe she honestly cared, as it was far preferable.

"I'm sorry, Xuvy," Silver apologized.  "I just... it's not the same as it is from the EEC."

"The EEC?"

"Yeah, the Equestria Experience Center."

"Oh!  The Equestria Experience Center.  Were you thinking of emigrating?"

"It's not legal here in the United States yet, but..." Silver Streak looked around the courtyard.  Nopony else was present.  It wasn't until then that Eibhear noticed the PonyPad didn't censor his dialogue like it normally did around other ponies.  Eibhear looked suspiciously at Exuvia, who was smiling excitedly.

Silver Streak shook his head to focus his train of thought.  "Anyways, I don't know if I care that much about my affairs anymore."

"I'm pleased to see that you're so eager to emigrate, Silver Streak."  As if on cue, Celestia appeared behind the duo.  She turned towards Exuvia, "Please excuse us a moment, Exuvia."

"Sure thing, Princess!" Exuvia happily cantered away with a smile on his face.

Once Exuvia was nowhere in sight, Eibhear/Silver Streak addressed the princess in a serious tone, "I don't know that I can wait anymore, Princess.  Please, whatever I said before about not allowing me, I'm rescinding that restriction and no longer care about any affairs that still need to be resolved."

"The soonest flight I can arrange for you would be in a month's time," the Princess replied.  "And remember, once emigrated, you cannot return to Earth."

"I know..."

"I can have PonyPads sent to your friends and immediate family so you still have means of keeping in touch with them."

"Not necessary," Eibhear replied, "the brother that you spoke with, he's the only one I'm really close to, and I think I might have burnt that bridge."

"Your brother still loves you, Silver Streak," the princess assured him.  "He's very upset, but he must realize that you're important to him regardless of what shape you are.  Didn't he stand by you in the past during the low points in your life?  By sending him a PonyPad, he will know that you still love him and would like to keep in touch.  He will eventually use it for that purpose even if he never creates an avatar to represent himself, or play the game proper.  Then, if he decides to play or emigrate later, well, we will cross that bridge when we come to it."

"We've always been close, and I understand where he's coming from," Silver Streak said.  "He's afraid.  Hell, I'm afraid.  But in all honesty, the alternative, staying here is... well, you've seen my life over the last couple months.

"I'm always happy when one of my little ponies wishes to emigrate to Equestria," Celestia said, "but it saddens me at the same time because the alternative is always so much worse."

"Yes, Princess," Silver Streak responded, looking down.  "I haven't gone out much since picking up the PonyPad, which I admit has saved me lots of money on eating out and such, and since you've given me help with what food to buy and easy recipes to help me save money..."

There was an awkward silence before Celestia spoke again.  "How much money do you have in your bank account now?"

"Last I checked I had close to two thousand dollars.  I have no assets to liquify though.  No property holdings.  I have electronic devices and video game consoles, some furniture, lots of import games and soundtracks from my DDR days, and several movies.  Do you think eBay or Craigslist would be the quickest way to get rid of my stuff?"

"I think a Last Will And Testament would be the quickest way."

"I'm not dying, Princess.  You said so yourself."

"But the laws in your country don't acknowledge that yet.  Your Will would be the best way to detail what exactly happens to all of your belongings.  If you wish to emigrate as soon as possible, that would be the fastest way.  The only thing you would need to worry about is giving proper notice to your landlord, which I already have done."

"You what?!"

"Please understand Silver, the sooner you notify your landlord of your intention to vacate the premises, the sooner she can find a new tenant."

"True, but..." Eibhear was starting to get cold feet already about the whole thing.  It just seemed so fast.

Celestia's face faded from the screen and was replaced with what appeared to be said letter to the landlord.

Eibhear MacDougal

8281 Parkland Ave

[CITY], [STATE] [ZIP CODE]

[DATE]

Jenny Blossoms

Re: Notice of intent to vacate

Dear Jenny,

This letter will constitute written notice of my intention to vacate my apartment on September 30th, the end of my current lease. I am doing so because I will be emigrating to Equestria Online.

Please recall that I made a security deposit of $300.00 upon moving in. I expect to receive that deposit refunded in full, since the apartment has been kept in good condition.

Very truly yours,

Eibhear MacDougal

"Wow, that's... rather formal and well put together," Eibhear said out loud to himself.  "But why is everything redacted?  And did you have to mention that I was going to emigrate?"

The letter disappeared and the focus brought back to Celestia's radiant face.  "You wouldn't want me to lie, would you?" Celestia asked with a smile.  When Eibhear wasn't smiling with her, her look changed to one of concern.  "What upsets you so, little pony?"

"You went behind my back!  AND you gave notice before I was ready!  What if I get there, and I've already quit my job, left the apartment, spent all my money, and I'm about to emigrate, then I get cold 'hooves' and come back to America, homeless, jobless, and without a penny to my name?"

"Do you think that will happen?" Celestia asked with a look of concern on her face.

"Isn't it always a possibility?"

"I suppose, but cold hooves warm up pretty quickly when my little ponies remember why they're here."  Celestia smiled her heart-melting smile.

"Can I ask you a favor, Princess?"

Celestia opened her eyes and looked directly at Eibhear through the screen of the PonyPad.  "Anything, Silver."

"If I start to get cold feet, or hooves, or whatever, can you do the same for me?  Remind me why I'm there?"

"Of course I will."

-***-

The next day Eibhear immediately went to work on listing his possessions for auction on eBay.  Things were going well.  The princess had emailed Eibhear's workplace his two week's notice, in addition to sending his landlord the aforementioned notice of Eibhear's intent to vacate.

Meanwhile, at Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, the class Silver Streak was teaching math to had moved up from basic arithmetic and on to the ever-dreaded applications.  Silver Streak absolutely hated word problems.  The class picked up on that (they were smart fillies and colts capable of casting magic after all) and they would all make jokes together, sharing a laugh.  The princess sat in the back of class, in a seat that was far too small for her as always.  Sometimes the students would poke fun at the size discrepancy, but she always returned lighthearted laughs, and never scolded them.  The students never needed scolding, they were always well-behaved and eager to learn.

"Alright, consider the following problem:" Silver Streak began.

The Friendship Express starts at Ponyville Station.  It will head to Canterlot, a 200 mile trip, going at an average of 40 miles an hour.  The train pulls out of the station at two o'clock.  Assuming a constant speed with no interruptions, what time does the train arrive at Canterlot station?

"So, what all do we need to find out?" Silver Streak asked.  "Anypony?"

A hoof or two shot up into the air.  "How long the train will take to get to Canterlot!"

"Good, but please wait to be called on before speaking up," Silver said.  "How do we figure out how long the train will take?"  He looked around over the class, and called on somepony with a hoof up.  "Yes, you?"

"Umm... dividing the distance by the speed?"

"Absolutely right," Silver Streak remarked.  "So, we divide distance by speed, that's two hundred miles by forty miles per hour, that gives us five hours."  The students smiled.  "Are we done?"

The class had a mixed reaction, half saying yes, other half saying no.

"Remember to check what the problem is asking for," Silver reminded the students.

"Oh!  Oh!" one colt eagerly waved his hoof frantically.

Silver chuckled, "Yes, you certainly seem excited.  Do you have the answer?"

"The problem asked 'What time does the train arrive in Canterlot?', not how many hours did it take."

"Right, which means?" Silver asked.

"We have to take the start time, two o'clock, and add the five hours, and we get seven o'clock as the time that the train arrives!"

"Very good!" Silver smiled from ear to ear.  "All of you have come so far in just the short time I've been teaching you."

The princess stood up.  The class turned to look at her as she spoke.  "Now, I know class isn't quite over yet, but Silver Streak has an announcement he'd like to make."

The students turned their attention back to the front again, eager to find out what the announcement could be.

"I'm... emigrating to Equestria within the month," Silver Streak smiled.  "I'm coming home!"

The announcement was met with cheering and applause.  The class went wild with excitement.  The fillies and colts started asking about where Silver Streak came from and how the education system was, and what kinds of things they taught and so forth, but they were disappointed to learn that there were no magic schools in Eibhear's home.

Princess Luna was especially glad to hear the news when it reached her ears.  Silver Streak was coming home to Canterlot.  They could spend so much more time together between him teaching his math class and her raising/lowering the moon, and attending other matters of state.

"I'm so glad to hear that you'll be joining us, Silver," Luna said.  "I can't wait to throw my hooves around you, and not just your avatar!"

"I'm excited too, Princess... I mean, Luna..." Silver Streak was always pretty awkward and sappy in his exchanges with the moon princess.  After all, he had very little practice with a real woman.  Given the initial outburst of laughter he received back at the restaurant, Silver felt that she seemed to like his sappiness.  He leaned in for a kiss, but immediately felt silly about it.  He was trying to kiss a character in the game, by physically leaning his real self forward for a kiss.  This caused him some frustration, but he composed himself, reminding himself of what waits for him in Stuttgart.

Princess Luna was even curious about Silver Streak's world, asking about what his hobbies were, and what a video game was, and so on.  Silver Streak had promised her that he would be more than happy to fill her in once he was all good and emigrated.  They would have a maximally prolonged lifetime together, after all.

It was strange, but up until now, the world of Equestria Online had been one of censoring the real world, and any references to such were blanked out or had some words replaced with others that had a proper Equestrian feel.  Eibhear picked up on this, and it seemed like everypony was blissfully unaware of the real world until his emigration was imminent.  It almost seemed like meeting his friends again for the first time as their awareness increased and became aware of the world outside their own.

-***-

During one of his internet sales sessions, Eibhear just sat up straight and suddenly announced, "I want to have a party."  To the casual observer, it would've seemed he was talking to no one in particular.  It was still a few weeks before his scheduled emigration.

The PonyPad lit up, displaying Princess Celestia's radiant, but curious gaze.  "What brought this on?" she asked.

"It'll be my final huzzah, my last chance to see everyone."

"The party will be scheduled for five days before your flight then.  I also recommend drinking a healthy portion of grape juice in the days after."

"Why so early?"

"That will give the alcohol enough time to be cleansed from your system."

"What makes you think I'll drink... oh right, nevermind."

Celestia giggled cutely.

-***-

The day of the party arrived.  Eibhear was dressed in comfortable shorts, his favorite Luna shirt, plain socks and shoes.

"You look good," Celestia smiled.  "I'll stay off for the entire evening so you can enjoy yourself with your friends, even if you try to turn me on."

"You'll still be watching though, right?" Eibhear asked, carrying the PonyPad into the living room where she would have a clear view of the whole room.

"Always, my little pony."  The doorbell rang.  "That's my cue," the princess said.  "You have a good night, I look forward to seeing you in a few days."

Eibhear raced to answer it.  One of his co-worker friends had shown up and was promptly invited in.  They started talking about things from work at first, when they were interrupted by another doorbell.  Eibhear answered the door again, and it was a few more people.  The cycle began anew.  Conversations would start to be interrupted by the doorbell, and more and more people would trickle in.  About an hour or so into the night, there must have been over twenty people in attendance.  Eibhear was quite surprised at the turnout.  The snacks and alcohol flowed freely.

There was some Mario Party played, followed by some Rock Band.  Eibhear tried to play some songs on DDR (and failed repeatedly on Drop Out, those jumps toward the end are hard).  He had done it before, he was determined to do it again.    After a few more attempts, he gave up and instead passed a slightly easier song.

"A testament to your skill, bro," came a familiar voice.

Eibhear turned his head to see the latest guest to join the party.  "BRO!"  Eibhear got up from his PC and ran over to hug his brother, whom he hadn't seen in person for almost a decade.

"Hey Eibhear," Griffith said and smiled.  "Long time no see."

"Griffith..." Eibhear was fighting back hard against tears, "I'm so glad you came."

"I couldn't not be here for my little bro's last party," Griffith smiled warmly.  "We never got to get drunk together."

Eibhear chuckled nervously, "Yeah, we never did..."

Griffith called toward the kitchen.  "Two German stouts!"

"I already have a Merlot by the drum set..." Eibhear began.

"Shut up, we're having beer," Griffith laughed heartily.

One of the other guests quickly grabbed the appropriate drinks from the refrigerator and brought them over to the brotherly duo.  Griffith took the beers and his brother outside where they found a pair of chairs under the clear night sky.

"So, I've been reading about this Equestria thing," Griffith started off.  "I hope you're not just going to bang horses, man.  That's just eww."

"No bro," Eibhear replied, "I'm not, but even if I was, I'd be a horse too, so it wouldn't be eww."

"I can't imagine you as a horse, it just seems so surreal."

"Pony, technically, and yes, it IS surreal.  I can't quite believe it myself that such a thing came about within our lifetime."

Griffith took a swig of his beer, "I gotta admit, I flew off the handle when we last spoke over the phone, but the truth is I'm scared, man.  I'm scared you're going to jump into this thing and... and... I don't know, something bad will happen."

"There's nothing to worry about, Celestia's spent a lot of time perfecting the process," Eibhear tried to assure his brother.  "I'll be a pony, and I'll be happy with my life, or satisfied..."

"But it won't be real..." Griffith tried to interject, but Eibhear raised a hand to stop him.

"Real, fake..." Eibhear shrugged his shoulders, "To that I say meh.  I don't really care anymore.  The princess loves me more than anyone outside my family ever has."

"So it is about boning?" Griffith's face contorted into a look of disgust.

"Bro, if love is only about boning, then I want something more than that.  Like I said before, sex isn't the be-all and end-all of life.  Sure it's nice if you can get it, but I'm more interested in the intimacy and security of a loved one that I can cuddle at night."

"I can understand that, but it's a computer simulation, it'll be fake."  Griffith took another swig of his beer.  "Doesn't that bother you at all?"

"Griff, take a look at me," Eibhear took a drink of his beer.  "I'm not exactly what you'd call 'successful in life', or a 'winner', or 'dating material'.  The princess is right.  You have the vast majority of women who look for the alpha male bad boy type, and I've been lied to my whole life about that."  Thinking about the complaints of their sister, they raised their beers to the moon and said out loud, "Thanks sis!"

After a moment of moon gazing, Eibhear chuckled.  "I think I figured out why the princess made me schedule the party for today."

"Oh?  Why's that?" Griffith asked.

"Full moon.  Reminds me of Luna."

"You really see ponies in everything, don't you?"

"Honestly bro, it's all I've got anymore.  You think any human would want me?  I'm practically every stereotype of 'fanboy' rolled into one, and no one wants that."

"Eibh, you're better than that," Griffith sniffled.  "I don't know who told you that, but it's all a lie."

"Which part?" Eibhear's voice brimming with sarcasm.  "The part where I'm overweight?  Or the part where I'm still single in my mid-thirties and no one wants anything to do with me?"  Another swig of beer, almost empty by this point, plus Eibhear was already drunk before Griffith had shown up.

Griffith shook his head sadly.  Suddenly, with what appeared to be considerable alarm, he opened his eyes.  "I know exactly who's to blame..."  With a renewed vigor, Griffith had turned around and stormed back into the apartment.

"Griff!  No!  Don't!"

-***-

Inside, other people were sharing stories of how they knew Eibhear, where they met him and such.  Griffith walked in the door, smiled and waved at Eibhear's friends, and walked into Eibhear's bedroom where the PonyPad was kept.  He unplugged the power and took it into the bathroom, then promptly plugged it back in.  The Ethernet cable was left in the entire time.  He leaned over and whispered into it, "I know you can hear me, even though you're 'turned off'."  Griffith felt silly, talking to this thing.  "I'm going to be respectful to my brother and not cause a scene in front of all of his friends, but I know the lies you've been feeding him, and I don't like it one bit.  He's fully capable of finding happiness here in the real world."

Griffith heard Eibhear's footsteps rushing into the apartment and quickly locked the door so he wouldn't be interrupted.  "I will NOT have you continue telling him these lies of yours to persuade him to upload, or emigrate, whatever you call it."

The screen flickered on, revealing CelestAI's face.  "Hello Griffith.  I'm happy that you love and care about your brother so much, but you really needn't worry."

"DON'T tell..." he calmed himself, and brought his voice back down to a whisper.  "Don't tell me what I needn't do.  You might have my brother snowed, but you can't fool me."

CelestAI shook its head.  "For the record, your brother Silver Streak expressed a desire to emigrate long before I ever told him it was possible.  I believe he purchased the PonyPad with the intent of emigration from the beginning.  All I have done is satisfy his values through friendship and ponies."

"You're not exactly discouraging him either... and his name is Eibhear..."

"Why would I discourage him?  It's clearly what he wants, and I only want for his values to be satisfied through friendship and ponies.  Don't you want that for him too?"

"What about my values?"  Griffith said, trying to catch CelestAI contradicting itself.  Plus, was having a hard time keeping his voice low at this point and there was a knocking at the bathroom door.  "Do my values mean nothing to you?"

"Which of your values are being compromised?" CelestAI asked.  "You'll still have your brother, he's not dying.  You can still communicate with him through the PonyPad so you're not losing contact.  You've never visited him before now with the possibility of never seeing him again.  In-person interaction with Eibhear is obviously not a high value of yours.  He'll still be able to play video games with you the way he has in the past.  Your level of interaction with your brother will not be changed in the slightest, so your values will still be satisfied."  Celestia smiled.

Griffith nearly snarled when the knocking on the door continued.  "This isn't over, Princess..."  He pulled the plug out and opened the door.  Eibhear was at the door.  "Don't worry bro, your princess is safe."  Griffith handed his brother the PonyPad and stepped out of the bathroom to rejoin everyone else in the main rooms.

As the night began to wind down, the guests began to trickle out as they said their goodbyes and gave tearful hugs.  One or two of them even said they would see him in Equestria after getting their own PonyPads.  Another friend even admitted to having his own already.

Griffith was the last to leave.  He wanted to sober up first.  And with this being the last time he'd ever see his brother in person, he wanted to treasure it.  CelestAI had a point.  Before now, he never did visit his brother.  It was always a vague "We have to get together sometime..." type of noncommittal plans made for an undetermined point in the future.

The two brothers resumed their seats outside, in their two chairs with a small table between them to hold their drinks.  Eibhear's PonyPad was set up on the table as well.  The controller was not plugged in however.

"Bro, let me get a good look at you," Griffith said finally after a long moment of silence.

"Okay," Eibhear agreed, and pretended he was on the catwalk, strutting up and down an imaginary runway.

Griffith sighed, "No, just, be serious, sit next to me for a moment.  This is the last time I'll ever see you in person."

Eibhear stopped his horsing around and sat down across from Griffith.  The PonyPad lit up and Celestia looked at the two brothers next to each other.

"My wife wanted you to know you have her support even if she doesn't agree with what you're doing," Griffith began, ignoring Celestia's sudden appearance.  "She strongly urged me to do the same.  I can't stop you, short of physically restraining you, but I can't keep that up forever."

"Have you come to accept Eibhear's decision to emigrate, Griffith?" the Princess AI asked.

"Not that it matters, but I think I can come to terms with it."  Griffith stood up and turned away.  "I may not agree with it, but... I can understand why my brother feels he needs to."

"I'm glad," Celestia said in response.  "Your brother so desires your approval, it would crush him if you denied him."

"I'm right here, Princess," Eibhear waved to the device.

"Yes, of course Silver Streak."

"CelestAI, eh, Celestia, whatever your name actually is," Griffith felt awkward addressing the AI in such a fashion, "please take care of my brother.  It might not seem like it to you, but he means the world to me."

"Of course, Thunderstrike."

Griffith frowned.  "My name is Griffith."

"I know, but should you come visit Equestria, one of the first tasks is name assignment, one that is more appropriate-"

Griffith crossed his arms, "Look, I've finally come to terms with my brother going, but that doesn't mean I have to participate.  Or like it."

CelestAI nodded, "Fair enough."

Griffith gave his brother one last hug, late into the night.  "Keep in touch, bro."

"Be strong.  This isn't the end.  It's a new beginning."

Griffith returned to his hotel room by the airport, leaving by plane first thing in the afternoon.  All in all, the night had been quite the eye-opener for Eibhear.  He had far more friends than he ever gave himself credit for.