One day Rainbow Dash was trying a new trick in Applejack’s orchard. She accidentally did a Sonic Rainboom and slammed straight into the ground.

Rainbow died that day.

“Rainbow Dash Ah love you!” Applejack exclaimed as she knelt over the exploded corpse.

“Sweet Celestia’s @&% hole!” Twilight screamed as she ran down the orchard’s rows toward the crater. She had heard the explosion from her tree house, many miles away. She is there now because it is convenient for me because she can apparently teleport wherever the fuck she wants because fuck logic.

“There’s… there’s… Rainbow has rainbow blood… Oh sweet Celestia” Twilight said wide-eyed as she observed the massive spread of shrapnel that was once Rainbow’s body.

“Ah was watchin’ the Ultimate Fightin’ Tournament on Mah magic box and thinkin’ ‘bout how much ah love Rainbow. The next thing Ah know Ah hear this gigantic explosion… And… Oh God…”

Twilight ignored the speaking of a god other than her own, which, on any other day, would be an action punishable by death. There were much more important issues at hand. Like the fact that Spike was out at the Fangoriusly Active Giant In Training convention and was missing this excellent opportunity to clean.

Or tacos, Twilight had a very suspicious craving for tacos. Candy tacos covered in a poorly written vaginal metaphor.

“WhaahaaaHAAA!!” said Rarity.

Also did I mention that Applejack’s Orchid actually grew Applejacks? The Rainbow explosion created a whole bunch of Fruit Loops, which are Applejacks except covered in Rainbow Dash’s blood. That presented a problem.

Everypony began to eat the Fruit Loops.

Everypony loved the Fruit Loops.

Everypony craved the Fruit Loops.

And then everpony ate all the fruit loops and there were no more fruit loops so nopony else could eat anymore fruit loops so 13.732% of all the ponies there committed suicide. For some reason they had Rainbow blood as well.

“Rainbow Dash’s blood must be infectious in some sort of way.” Twilight thought in some sort of smart ass way.

The rainbow blood produced from the mass suicide created more Fruit Loops. The rest of the ponies, still ravenous for more sweet fruity goodness and too lazy to read any pony shipping at all, which is, like, 96 % lesbogay with a dash of objectophillia, to quench their fruity thirsts, began to devour the fresh dripping loops. This created a dazzling cycle of cannibalism and suicide that lasted until the entire mob was left of nopony but Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity.

“Want to have ah contest ta see who c’n put tha most zap-apples in their vag?”

“Yeah!” everypony else yelled, even Fluttershy who was not in this story.

The End.

Author's Note

Author's Notes are stupid.