Relatively Safe Liaisons

Greetings, boys and girls! It is I, Professor Discord!

It's true. I *am** that handsome.*

Now, many of you are most likely very curious as to why this story has been inactive for, oh... say, four months, and what this has to do with Rarity being missing for that length of time.

Well, I can explain everything. Not only do I have a Ph.D. in Chaos, but I also acquired a Masters in Western Pony Literature (Wake Forest. Class of '97. Go Deacs!).

Anyway, as I was saying, the lack of activity in this story and Rarity's absence are inter-mingled. You see, as it turns out, Rarity is not the writer of this memoir. I know, I know. It's quite the twist.

It appears that there's an entity who has been controlling Rarity's actions and thoughts from the very start of this story. That entity is this bipedal monster!!!

Research indicates that this gentleman is a spastic, horny jackass who spends most of his time kissing the ass of more talented writers and yelling at people.

Thus, all of this chaos in this story has been caused by this man's insanity. He used Rarity as a vessel for that insanity, which is why she went from being this sophisticated, chaste lady into an crazy, cursing bitch. This also explains the bizzare, fourth wall breaks and humor.

However, this deviant soon grew very bored with this universe, and he abandoned it; leaving it without a god.

What's worse? Why, this devilish fiend not only left, but he took Rarity with her. As such, while the rest of this world moved and returned to normalcy, Rarity sifted through the space between spaces in a bizzare, limbo state.

In any ordinary case of Pony Literature, when a universe like this is abandoned, it simply withers away and dies, forgotten. However, this freak recently, out-of-the-blue decided to return to this realm, plopping Rarity right into the the present time. So now, the original framing device and plot have been thrown for a loop.

Essentially, the writer both put this story back on track, and derailed it completely.

Where does this story go from here? Only he knows, and keep in mind, he's a fickle troll who very likely really hates his readers. In short: anything can happen.

Now, this is the real explanation that I am giving to you, the reader. I gave a completely different explanation to everypony in the hospital. If you were to tell these characters that they were... well, characters in a story, their brains would implode.

So what do they believe is the reason for Rarity's disappearance?

GOBLINS