Hey! Listen! Listen, Hey!

"...Mmmm. Five more minutes..."

Hey! You! Yea, you! Get up!

"...But I don't wanna get up!" You say, lazily shifting in your bunk. "And why are you announcing my thoughts in third person?"

Because your conscience says so! Now get up before-

"PRIVATE! GET YOUR LAZY FLANK OFF OF THAT BED! YOUR NEEDED FOR DAY SHIFT!"

Instantly, you fell off of the top bunk and fell face-first onto the cement ground. You look up, cursing silently because you hit your muzzle on the cold ground. Your drill instructor, Drill Sarge, or how your buddies usually call him Short Fuse because he always yells at you, has been on your ass since you first entered and finished Celestia's Royal Guard Boot Camp and Luna's Night Guard Boot Camp. You knew that you will get more hours and little time to rest, but you were all like, "Buck it, more bits more mares" and decided to work for the both of them. Besides, one full day is twenty four hours, which means one day you'll be working for one of the princess' for twelve hours and get the other for resting. Noticing that your asshole of a drill instructor was getting angrier and angrier by the second, you quickly got back up on all fours and saluted him.

"WHY IN THE FLYING MOONS ASS ARE YOU STILL HERE?! GET YOUR ASS INTO THE DAMN SHOWERS AND GET INTO YOUR UNIFORM, MAGGOT!" Spit is landing on your chest as you look straight at the wall, doing your best to not glare at Drill Sarge for getting your name wrong.

"MAGGOT! HEY, MAGGOT! WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOUR ASS IN THE SHOWER!"

Annoyed that he got your name wrong again, you responded. "Sir, with all do respect, my name is not Maggot, it's-"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS, PRIVATE! GET IN THE SHOWER AND SHOW UP IN THE MESS HALL! BOTH PRINCESS' WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH FRESH MEAT LIKE YOU AND ALL THESE OTHER MAGGOTS!" Drill Sarge said, almost making you deaf. You have never heard the royal canterlot voice before, but something tells you it isn't louder than Drills voice. Gulping and saluting, you quickly gallop into the shower rooms with your gold plated uniform on your back.

You walk in line with all the other stallions, wearing your gold plated armor all polished up and feeling squeaky clean. This is actually your first day of the job, and looking at the beautiful architecture and decorations made you gasp in awe. The walls were marble, shining brightly when ever you looked at them. The floor was also marble, but was cut up into squares and not protected by the hard glass like the marb walls are. The large windows let enough light to enter the long hall and temporarily blind you, making you bump into another guard.

"Hey! Watch where your going, idiot!" He had that, "come at me bro" look on his face, but you ignored his bitching and kept trotting foward. You didn't mutch care for name calling, but this stupid motherbucker doesn't give up easily.

"Yea, keep trotting, you no nipple having, saggy titty, Sara Jessica Pony Parker looking, bitch!"

Oh, damn. Are you going to let this punk say that?

Your turn around. "Oh, hell to the motherbucking no, now you bucked up!" You say, clearly pissed off at this guard. You trot up to him, but Drill Sarge stepped in between you two, You expected him to yell at you, but instead he just smiles and looks at a giant door;Obviously the door that leads to the mess hall.

Before you could ask him why, he turns away and chuckles. "Looks like I'm done with you all, I hope you all are prepared." You raise a brow, wondering why yhe sarge would say such a thing.

"Prepared? For what sarge?" Another guard asks. Drill turns around and grins.

"Good luck!" He turns around trotting away and laughing. You don't know what he's talking about, but you shake it off because it doesn't seem like you should worry about it.

The doors to the mess hall opened up, revealing other guards of higher ranks laughing and eating their food. You and the other new recruits nodded and decided that it would be wiser to sit down at an empty table, most likely at the privates table all the way at the end of the room. Unfortunately, breakfast was over, so you just sat down and stared at the ceiling.

You then noticed that the room grew silent, and you lower your head to look around for the reason why everypony was so quiet.

"Good morning, my little ponies!" You hear a motherly voice say. You look up to the entrance, and found both the royal princess' standing in the doorway. Princess Luna looked alot older than she was first brought back into the castle. Her mane glistened in the day light, like there is little stars in her flowing mane. Her coat was a dark, midnight blue, while her eyes were a bright turquoise color.

Princess Celestia looked a bit...different. Well, she looked the exact same, but her mane was a pinkish color, rather than her usual four colored mane. All of the stallions either nodded or said good mourning, some responses groggy, and others happily . Both Princesses looked over at the guards, table by table until she found yours. They smiled, trotting up to your table.

"All of you must be the new recruits, correct?" Princess Celestia asks you all. You and the other guards nod, earning a smile from the royalties. "Wonderful! How many of you signed up for the day shift ?" A few raised their hooves, including you. "And who signed up for the night shift?" Princess Luna asked with a smile. The other half of the group raised their hoove, you did as well. This earned a raised brow from Princess Celestia.

"You there, didn't you sign up for the day shift?" She asked. The other stallions raised their brows, including the elite soldiers on the other tables, most likely shocked that a stallion like you signed up for both.

"Yes your highness," You say, nodding your head. "I have to make my bits somehow."

Celestia 's raised brow lowered , and a small, smile formed around her lips. "Really now? A hard working pony working both shifts to feed his family." You raise a brow, making Celestia 's smile wider. "Alone I see? Even better."

Before you could ask what in the buck she was talking about, she looked over at the other stallions. "All day time stallions come with me, including you." She points at you, smiling...differently. Luna said the same the same thing to her guards, and soon, you and the other guards leave with Celestia.

In the background, you could hear somepony laughing. "May Faust have mercy on their souls."

Author's Note

Hope you guys are ready for some comedy!