Yoga.

Ah yes, yoga. You see, there is something beautiful about yoga. It calms the body, relieves stress, and all and all, is fun to do! Mares usually do yoga, because most of them do it because they want their body to be slim, sexy, and seductive. Your conscience calls it "The Big Three." Yet, there is also something the stallions and colts, such as yourself, enjoy about yoga. For instance, if you had a wife or a girlfriend that does yoga, she could come home happy, calm and... flexible. But, for us stallions, we only care for one thing.

'DAT ASS!'

Yup. Tis a beauty, ain't it? Now, back to what's currently going on.

You barged into her royal chambers, in the middle of a yoga session she was preforming. Princess Celestia was not in position, as of yet. She wore tight, black and pink yoga pants, and her mane was tied up into a pony tail, along with her normal tail. She was near her T.V. and she levitated the remote button in front of her. On the T.V. were other mares, also wearing yoga pants. Her ear twitched a bit, and she turned her head towards you, and you only stared at her in confusion. She smiled.

"Oh hello!" She said.

"How's being a Royal Guard going?" She smiled at you, and you just stared only directly into her eyes.

Well, you tried as hard as you could, but your pupils kept sliding off, wanting to look down, even though she was facing forward towards you. Still, them leggings! HUBBA HUBBA!

'Shut up!'

"Oh, you know," You say, smiling nervously. You stood up straight, staring directly into her eyes. You started to use that technique you were shown in boot camp, the one that you show no emotion.

At.

All.

It's working, for now, but you don't know how long you can keep it up.

"Just got back from sending the guests into their rooms. Nothing special, princess." Her yoga pants though...

'I said shut it dammit!'

"That's wonderful news!" Princess Celestia said, nodding her head in satisfaction.

"You see, I invited them over because in three days, we're going to have a small party." Princess Celestia looked at you, eyes half closed.

"You are welcome to join."

You could feel sweat trickle down the side of your face, but you kept your poker face.

"That's fine princess, I'll think about it. The real reason why I busted into your chambers, is because I heard somepony screaming for help. Do you by any chance know who?"

'Why does it feel like a trap?' Because it is one stupid.

"Yes, I did!" Princess Celestia said, smiling. Damn. Shit just got real, bro.

'Just as I feared.' You thought, keeping calm on the outside but losing it on the inside. Calm yo shit, bro. Anyways, you nodded, asking the Princess, "Well... What do you need, princess?"

"Wonderful!" She said, stretching out her wings.

"You see, I am new to this, 'yoga', and I need help! I've already tried these instructions the mares in the television have tried to tell me to do, but I am afraid, due to my large bottom, it is too difficult to handle it all on my own. Which is where you come in!"

"Um...Just out of curiosity, princess, wouldn't it make more sense to hire a personal yoga instructor instead of somepony who is not a professional at this, mainly me, help you out? A mare, more importantly?" You say, trying your best to weasel your way out of this awkward-but-gifted situation. It seems to be working, because she is actually thinking about it!

You might get outta here alive! As a virgin...

'I said shut your bitch-ass mouth!'

"Hmm...Well, that does make a bit more sense, having some one with more experience in yoga help me out rather than a male who doesn't know what he is doing..." She then looked down at you...and she grinned.

"But where is the fun in that?"

You felt your heart sink. Yet, you felt something in you say, "YES! YES! ABOUT DAMN FUCKING TIME! YES!" Your conscience said it by the way, but anyway, you were honestly surprised. You still haven't broken your poker face! You might actually pull this off! So... what do you say?

"Well... Fine. I'll help you, Princess." You said in defeat. She smiled at you.

"Perfect! Just let me get my yoga mat." She said. You nodded, and you watched her as she turned... around...

Sweet mother of Celestia...

'Sweet mother of Celestia...'

It all happened in slow motion. You felt your face break away from that boring look, and felt you eyes grow wide, your jaw drop, and you could feel your heart pumping. I-It's too tough to describe what's going on, but your conscience will try to explain in perfect detail.

'Please do...' Though you wanted to, you still thought this was so wrong in every way.

Okay. Well, her royal plot is shaped like two melons but together, ripe, plump and ready to eat. Her yoga pants, which appear skin tight, fit perfectly on her. It was smooth shaped, half of her pants were black, the left side, and the right side was a hot pink. A sexy mixture of a color, mind you. Oh, but that's not all, in big, white letters imprinted on her yoga pants, her ass, read "Big Sexy." Your conscience needs to sit down, this is too much ass...

'You don't have legs damn it!' Sorry, I keep forgetting!

'But that's not the best part. She looks like she's... shaking her ass. Oh lord... I think I need to sit down too...' Damn! I keep forgetting about the no leg thing!

"Here it is!" You hear Princess Celestia said, turning around. You had little time to react, but you were able to quickly turn your face back to that boring look, and the blood that rushed into your face went back down. She flaps the large pink mat on the ground, right in front of your hooves. She looks back up, smiles, and her horn starts to light up. You hear the doors close. Get it in, bro! GET IT IN!

'I hate you.'

"I've already stretched, but I need some supervision," She leans forward, stretching. Oh Lawd. She then levitated you to the foot of her bed, and you just sat there, while she began to get back up.

"Watch me please. In case I pull a muscle, I would like you to massage the area that is injured." You nod, keeping the straight face. She's about to stretch, but she looked around.

"Now, where is that boombox?"

"Boombox?" You say, confused.

"Yes, music relaxes me as well." She looked above the T.V. then chuckles. "Oh! There it is!" She levitates the remote in front of it, and then she presses a button. You could hear a record skip. The beat starts playing and you immediately recognize the song. Oh, FUCK YES!

Princess Celestia Looks at you, smiling. "Lets get this started, shall we?"

Oh Lawd. Oh lawd, oh lawd, oh lawd. This is the SHIT! It's like a personal strip dance. You enjoying this, boy?

'N-No...'

Really? Well, do you want your conscience to describes how she is stretching?

'YES! I mean, NO!'

Too late!

She started of with raising her succulent bottom up into the air, right in front of your face. It's a bit far away, but it's almost like she is inviting you to slap that flank. She added a little shake, and her tail whipped around, almost like a snake. You tried you best to look away, but you couldn't. Those delicious pink and black colored yoga pants are screaming for your attention. And so you gave them it, no matter how much you didn't want to.

'NO! Must... look.... away!' Resistance is futile! Haha, bitch!

Resistance, huh? She started to switch positions, and she lay on her left side, she raised her right leg into the air, then bending it into a perfect 90 degree angle. This made your jaw drop slightly, and your mouth was drooling a little bit too. Though she is a tall mistress, she can stretch her long legs with such, rubber-like, flexibility, that you could bend her up into any position you would like.

Any.

Position.

You.

Like!

'That... Does sound enjoyable.' Yes, yes! It's working! Okay, let's see...

Ah! You can hear how heavily the princess is breathing, almost as if her heart were to jump out as we speak. The sweat dripping down her fur gives it a nice shiny color, which reflects the sun's rays quite beautifully off of her body. You can hear her moan loudly as she got up on all four hooves and resumed her previous stance. Face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fu-

'I-I think I am enjoying this... Why?'

Because you're a stallion. And stallion's enjoy lap dances. Go on, little buddy, she wants you to touch that ass! Do it!

'She does look sexy in those tight yoga pants... But, she's the princess! I can't do this!'

For all we know, she could be really sick, and she could just needs some good ol' Vitamin D, from the love doctor, A.K.A. you! Come on bro, you know you want to hit that! Just look at that ass! SO. FUCKING. ROUND!

"Oh! This stretching is really nice..." You hear Princess Celestia say. She gets up from the ground and looks you.

"It is really bringing out the slim figure in me, don't you agree, guard?"

You said nothing. All you did was put up that poker face you used when you tried to be serious a moment ago, and it doesn't seem like it's working. In the inside, you are screaming your head off. So, you nod, hoping that this yoga session would soon be over.

Damn.

The song stops, and Celestia is breathing heavily. She levitates the mat onto her bed, then looks at you. "Well, thank you for making sure I did not pull a muscle." She smiles at you, and you nod.

"Well, if you need me, I will be in the shower."

Yes!

The Princess leaves the room and enters her bathroom, closing the door quietly. You took a really big deep breath, and you looked at the door she just left through, You look at the entrance door and... Oh no, you are not leaving this room without some damn pussy!

'Look, conscience, I'm a guard. She's a princess. She's immortal. I am not. She is taller than me, and for all I know, she could be the type of princess that would be into some real, freaky shit, and I don't want to be part of that. So, fuck you, and fuck you again.'

Look, you don't have to love the princess, it would be a one night stand! Plus, she just told you that she would be in the shower! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!

"Oh!" You turn around, looking at the door Princess Celestia was talking through.

"I can't reach a certain spot on my back! Guard! Could you~?"

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN! DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN! SHE WANTS THE D, BRO! SHE. FUCKING. WANTS. THE D!!!!

'... Fuck it, I'm leaving.'

"Sorry Princess! Some... uh... important business just reached my mind! I have to leave!" No, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU ARE THIS CLOSE TO GETTING IT IN! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN'!?

"Oh... It's all right, guard. Just remember to check up on our guests!"

"Will do! Aaaaaaand-"

*CLICK*

"I'm gone! Phew, that was a close one, right, conscience?"

Eat a dick.

"Well, up yours, too." You were quick to come back, and now your conscience feels hurt.

"I don't think I'm goin' to recover from that! What has been seen... cannot be unseen." It's like you want to stay a virgin bro.

As soon as the Princess Celestia heard the door close and lock, she immediately turned of the water and ran out of the bathroom, without even bothering to wear a towel. She closed the shades and went near T.V, where a red button was hiding behind the T.V. She pressed the button, and by the blink of an eye, the T.V. was replaced with a wall covered in smaller T.V. screens, each viewing a room in the castle. Celestia disparately looked around the room for the remote.

"Where is it, where is it!" She said, growing impatient.

She looked on her bed and found the remote, and quickly, and turned on all of the T.V.'s. She flipped each channel until she was viewing her own room, which during this time, the guard was there. She noticed how polite and modest he was trying to be, but that all changed when she turned around and presented him the royal plot. She smiled when she saw how low his jaw dropped, and loved how he tried so hard to stop the blood from rushing into his face, with that serious look and all. She was a bit sad that he left, but that is all part of her plan.

"Step one, get him to notice me, check!" Celestia said, happily. "He'll be mine soon... very soon." She smiled in a very slutty way, remembering the last time she spied on the young guard. He appeared avarage, but when she looked lower...

"Just the thought of it get's me wet!"

Deciding it was enough for now, she switched the channels until she stopped at her faithful students and friend's room. She especially paid attention on how each of their plots were so ripe and tender today. All the thoughts of this got her wet, and not the water wet... Yeah, that kind of wet.

Since she could not get rid of the mood, she decided to pull out Tyrone. She walked over to a dresser, pulled out a solid metal briefcase, and opened it, using her horn. She pulled out Tyrone, and locked the doors with more locks. And just to be safe, she enchanted the door to lock until she said the safe word. Banana.

She positioned herself on the bed and turned Tyrone on, who also speaked to you as it pleasured you. Princess Celestia was ready, the question...Is Tyrone ready? She turned him on, and he automatically begins to vibrate and speak.

"Are you ready, my long and purple friend?" Princess Celestia said, licking her lips. Tyrone's voice is pretty deep when he speaks.

"YOU GONNA LEARN TODAY!"

"Oh, I BET I WILL!"

Author's Note

So many spelling errors... it makes my head hurt. My favorite part was Tyrone. ~Asian

A few references here and there. Lets see if you can find them! -Gordo.