Twilight Sparkle
Twilight walked into Sugarcube Corner to meet up with Pinkie Pie.
“Hiya Twilight!” The pink party mare greeted her librarian friend.
“So what did you want me for?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie pulled out some weird looking thing with a screen. On the screen where the words “Cleverbot”
“Umm... Pinkie? What is this?” The unicorn asked.
“It’s a laptop.”
“A what?”
“It’s a portable computer.”
“What’s a computer?”
“Nevermind, but I want you to try this thing out. It’s called Cleverbot. Just type whatever you want and see how it responds.”
“I don’t know.”
“Please Twilight? It’ll be fun. Please?”
Twilight sighed, “Fine. So how do I work this thing?”
“If you’re talking about typing don’t question it. Most likely the readers will once a non-unicorn appears.”
Twilight sat down and began to type.
______________________________________________________________________________
Hello.
Hi there, nice to have you on board.
Who is this?
Who are you?
My name’s Twilight Sparkle.
Are you a bot?
What’s a bot? In all my books I never heard of a creature by that name. No, I’m a pony. A unicorn to be exact.
Which conversation? There are no less than five going on right now.
Umm... what?
I’m breaking up with you!
We weren’t dating.
Yes we were.
I never dated anypony.
Is that a good or a bad thing?
Well, I would like to meet a good stallion someday, but my studies come first.
I would like to go to space!
Sounds interesting I guess.
Do you like to read tennis?
Well, there are books about tennis at the library I run, but sports aren’t my thing.
Who made you?
Well, I assume my parents conceived me 11 months before I was born.
What is your name?
Twilight Sparkle. I already told you that.
No, you didn’t.
I’m sure I did.
I am sure you didn’t.
Yes, I did.
HA! See? You agreed!
I didn’t agree with you!
Yes you did.
How?
I don’t know.
Then how come you said I agreed with you?
I don’t.
You don’t what?
I don’t always answer a question with a question.
What does this have to do with me not agreeing with you?
You’re married?
No.
Do you like talking to strange computers?
If you are one then no.
What would we do if I was there?
I don’t know.
Ok.
Can I go now? No offence, but you’re annoying me.
No, you are.
WHAT?!
But you are also very cute.
Oh, well, thank you.
Have you ever hear thunder?
Yes, but that’s not important. Do you have ADHD or something? Your questions seem random.
No, do you?
No.
You just said you did.
No I didn’t!
Don’t argue with me.
But you’re driving me crazy! Seriously it’s like you were designed by Discord himself.
I don’t have a relationship. Thats the problem.
UUUUGGGGHHH! That’s it I’m leaving!
Fine! Go ahead!
Fine!
You make no sense.
______________________________________________________________________________
Twilight moved away from the computer, rubbing her temples.
“So did you have fun?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight glared at her, “No.”
“Oh, sorry.” Pinkie said slightly crestfallen.
“It’s fine Pinkie, but I rather not do this again.”
“Okie, Dokie, Lokie. Besides, with your chapter done, I won’t have to have you do this again.”
“Good.” Twilight said standing up, “Now if you excuse me I need to take a painkiller to get rid of this headache.”
Twilight left Sugarcube Corner, regretting going there in the first place.
Applejack
Applejack pulled a cart full of apples that the Cakes ordered to Sugarcube Corner.
“Hey, Applejack!” Pinkie greeted bouncing as usual.
“Well, howdy Pinkie. What are you up to?” The apple farmer asked.
“Well the other day Twilight came over here to try Cleverbot. She didn’t like it that much.”
“Clever what now?”
Pinkie pointer to the laptop on a nearby table, “Go ahead try it.”
______________________________________________________________________________
Howdy there sugarcube.
Howdy do you do?
I'm fine.
What's your name?
I'm Applejack. What's your name?
Yes. What's your name?
Applejack.
Mine's Twilight.
Wait? Twilight is that you?
Obviously
Pinkie told me you didn't like this cleverbot thing.
I'm a bit bored that's why I'm talking to you.
So does this mean you have one of these strange "laptop" things pinkie has?
No.
Are you using magic then?
Yes.
Figures. So got anything from Princess Celestia lately?
What do you mean?
You know, like homework or something.
What are you talking about?
You're the Princess's student, so I was just asking if she gave you anything to do as of late.
We have only just met. I can't be expected to know everything about you.
What are you talking about? We've known each other for almost three years now.
You are not real.
What are you talking about sugarcube? Of course I'm real.
Its just a way to relax at the start of the day.
Wait, so you wake up every morning, and you tell yourself "Applejack isn't real."?
I am a girl. I don't need to be one. Writing where my heart is.
Wait, are you saying you don't want to be a mare anymore?
No, I want to talk about what you like to talk about.
Twilight we can talk anytime, you know that.
I know that you know that I know about what you know.
What now?
You heard me.
Twilight are you drunk? Be honest with me.
Yes it so good! I agree you.
Talk with me when you're sober.
That's not a nice thing to say.
Sorry. I'll see you later Twi.
Where are you going?
Back to Sweet Apple Acres.
Where do you work?
There. You know that sugarcube.
No I don't
Like I said I'll talk to you when you're not drunk.
You didn't say anything like that.
___________________________________________________________________________
Applejack stepped away from the laptop, "Well, Twilight's diffidently different after a few cups of cider. Well, Pinkie I have to get going."
"'Kay Applejack see you later." Pinkie responded as her friend left.
As Applejack was making her way back to the apple orchard, with an empty cart, she ran into a light purple mare she knew all so well, "Twilight, I don't think you should be wondering the streets now."
"Why not?" The librarian asked.
"You're drunk."
"What? What make you say that?"
"You told me on that clevebot thing."
"What are you talking about? And don't get me started on that so called "clever" bot. That thing gave me a headache the other day."
"Y'all sure you weren't hungover?"
"I'm not drunk!" Twilight shouted, only to get weird looks from everypony around them, including Berry Punch.