Friday Night Authors Die By The Keyboard

*Thump*

“Vot da fock was zat?” said a mysterious figure in a grey overcoat.

“I don’t know mien f-”

“Shut up, I sink I hear it coming.”

Adam ran down the concrete stairs, nearly tripping up while tripping on his trip. He arrived at the bottom and was just about to enter the main room when two men jumped out from the doorway.

“Put your handz/hoofz/pawz/tentaclez up!” shouted the veiled man.

Adam stopped in his tracks, ‘shit’.

“It seem you cops are getting’ smarter. Tryin’ ta’ take the problem out before it starts.” said Adam, slowly reaching for his pocket.

“Vot? Ve are not za cops, vait, Adam?”

“Oh hai Hitler! And…?” questioned Adam, taking his hand off the bottle of refined ricin.

“Himmler.” Said Himmler.

“What are you Earth Nazis doing down here?”

“Ah, I zee you know about our men on zee moon. Vell, zis iz my bunker, ve are testing zee blueprints you gave us for zee V3; zay are amazing.”

“Cool, glad to be of use.”

“Zay are more zan kool. Zay are so amazing zat zay cause scene jumps for partitions zat aren’t going anywhere.”

Silver Spoon suddenly woke up. She was on her back and couldn’t move. She couldn’t see. Where was she? Freaking out, she was just about to scream when the pony from the bakery appeared in front of her.

“HI!” she giggled

“Where am I, what’s going on”? The frightened little foal asked.

“Oh, well, you see, your number came up and I gotta make cupcakes.” Pinkie explained.

“W…wha….what does that mean. What are you talking about”?

“Oh, nothing. I wouldn’t worry it if I was you. It’ll be over soon.”

She approached the girl, scalpel at the ready when a small voice called out from behind.

“Miss Pinkie, what are you doing”?

She paused and turned to look at Apple Bloom. The yellow baby pony walked up to her with an angry look on her face. Silver Spoon started to feel relieved.

“Ah can’t believe you’re doing this.” She pouted. ”you said this one was gonna be mine.

Pinkie apologized “Oops, sorry about that, guess I got forgot. Here you go.” She handed the blade over.

Apple Bloom climbed on the table and stood over her prey. Silver Spoon tried to struggle. She stared in fear at Apple Bloom and her apron. The pink apron with a shiny tiara on it. Silver Spoon started to cry.

Apple Bloom grinned and open her mouth “Hey, Silver Spoon, guess who’s gonna be a blank flank?”

“Bitch, what you thinking?!” shouted MC Hammer, coming out from the dark.

Both Apple Bloom and Pinkie Pie tuned to look at the black rapper.

“The fuck is that?!” said Pinkie.

“Bitch you did not just say that! I’m MC Hammer ho! Show me some respect!”

“Pinkie, he’s seen us; kill him!” yelled Apple Bloom, turning into a goblin.

Apple Goblin started to charge at MC, she had a ~~massive cock~~ pewter fork in her hand.

“Bitch, no you ain’t. STOP!…… HAMMER TIME!”

Just then the bass dropped, so much so that Apple Bloom’s head exploded. Brain and faecal matter went everywhere. Pinkie saw the whole thing, it turned her on. She began her attack on MC Hammer. But, as she got closer to him her vision started to go fuzzy. Soon all she could see was noise.

MC then teleported next to Pinkie; who could not see a thing. Suddenly, a massive appendage arose from the black man; it was gargantuan. Right then, MC Hammer thrust his ginormous black cock though Pinkie Pie’s pussy; splitting her in two. The two halves of Pinkie flopped onto the floor; the deed was done.

MC had done it. He had made it through eight rounds of ponies. HE WAS THE CHAMPION! ALL OF CYRODIIL LOOKED UP TO HIM NOW. NOTHING COULD STOP HIM NOW, HE WAS INVINCIBLE. *THUD* “MY KNEE, MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK KNEE!!!!!” AND WITH THAT *SMASH*

…
…
…

Adam woke up in Southampton Accidents and Emergencies.

“Hello, don’t worry you’re safe. Can you tell me your name?”

Adam tuned to see a busty nurse looking at him, a very concerned look on her face.

“Robotnick” said Adam, hoping to concern the nurse even more.

If Adam’s knowledge of female autonomy was correct, the more concerned a woman got, the bigger her tits got.

“No, your name is Adam. You had a nasty accident.” She said, on queue her tits got bigger; or was she moving towards me?

“Oh yeah, what?” I said.

You were typing with caps lock on. You weren’t steering and you crashed into overdramaticisation.

“If you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony. My saddles, I’m waiting, come on, jump on it!” I shouted at the nurse.

“WHAT!?” *Smash*

“And that’s how to kill someone in a story.” I said to the camera.

I don’t see where this is going, SCENE CHANGE!

“Twilight, no, get off of me!” screamed Sweetie Belle, the only filly not moved to another part of this masterpiece.

“You little seemingly in character whore didn’t get me off last time. You know what that fucking means!?” yelled Twilight, stomping over to Sweetie.

“I thought I said ‘get off of me’? Why are you stomping over to me if you’re already on me?”

“Shut up twerp; don’t make me go completely out of character!”

Then Twilight/Gilda shipping became 1337, wait… no.

Then Twilight/Gilda tied Sweetie down and stuff, her legs spread in a V shape (Don’t you fucking make me set a scene in a troll fic). It was cold, damp and suddenly very dark. Twilight walked over to the bound filly; for the third time, and pulled a dildo with Gilet Fusion razor blades attached to the end out from a bag which was somewhere.

Twilight shoved the torcher weapon up Sweetie’s underage slit. She screamed in pain as her… I forgot what the fuck it’s called, was torn though. The sleek blades cutting effortlessly into her delicate virgin walls. Blood started to seep out of her white folds, turning the fur around her love tunnel a scarlet pink.

(You have no idea how many words for ‘Cunt’ I know)

“You like that you little whore?! This is what you get if you don’t get me off the first time round!” roared Twilight, thrusting in and out of the young filly’s bleeding honey pot.

For Sweetie the pain was unbearable, the world around her started to dim. Her screams of agony did nothing but pleasure Twilight; her purple PFB (Portable Fun Box) becoming wet with fluids. Twilight reached he free hoof down between her thighs, rubbing up against her extruded fun button.

“Twi, please, it hurts!” pleaded Sweetie Belle, trying to break out of her binds.

“You think I care!? I’m fucking out of character! You and your slutty friend Apple Bloom only succeeded in making me shit myself!” returned Twilight, ramming the devise strait into the child’s womb; officially castrating her. “If you want to be of any use, I’ll be done soon; I should have cleared the passage!”

“The passage to what!” cried the filly.

“Why, my new home of course. Tree houses are so last season, and Spike keeps having wet dreams about me! So I’ll build my house inside of you!” Twilight cackled manically.

Twilight pulled away from the filly, who was super freaking out. She hurled the dildo of death to the floor, but then picked it up again.

“Hay Sweetie, think fast!”

Then Twi hammered the dildo up the pore bitch’s ass, causing shit and blood to come gushing out of the crevice. Twilight put her mouth over the stream, catching the flow of shitty blood in her mouth and swallowing it all.

The purple mare then rammed her head into the sobbing child’s purple rocket docking station. She pushed with her hoofs on the table, and soon managed to climb half way inside the girl. Twilight started eating away at the filly’s walls, making room for all her furniture.

The living room was to be in Sweetie’s womb, whilst the bedroom was to be found in the left fallopian tube; the kitchen in the right. Twilight thought about having a guest room in her large intestine, a broom closet in the small intestine; but decided against it, as where would the swimming pool go? Silly Twilight.

Twilight heard a rumbling noise, this was bad.

“Oh bu-”

Sweetie Belle’s abdomen exploded, causing Twilight to implode under pony physics. Shit and stomach acid went everywhere, Twilight drowning under the liquids whilst Sweetie had already passed away. The force of the explosion caused a rupture in the story, new chapter.