"See? Don't you feel better now?" Applejack said, quietly. Rarity claimed that she had taken a seat in a booth in the corner of the restaurant where no one would be able to hear her. Applejack couldn't confirm that, obviously; not being able to see anything but the tag stitched to the inside of Rarity's dress. "I told you gettin' some food would help your head feel better."

"Indeed it has." Rarity answered. Her voice was muffled by the food. "I had forgotten how good this places' burritos were."

"Burritos?" Applejack's voice took on a worried tone. "What kind of burritos?"

"Bean and beef, with extra spicy salsa!"

"Damn it, Rarity!"

"Why are you so exasperated over my choice of food? It's not like you have to eat any of it."

"I ain't worried about eatin' anythin'. I'm worried about what'll happen when all those beans and whatnot hit your stomach. I don't wanna be stuck down here when the side effects start up."

"What side effects could you possibly be talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, Rarity." Applejack wished she had a palm, so she could put it to her face. "You know as well as I do what happens when somebody eats that many beans."

"Are you implying that I pass gas!?" Rarity whispered harshly. "Why would you ever insinuate that I would do something so uncouth!"

"Oh please, not half an hour ago you were threatenin' to fart on me if I talked too loud. We had an argument about it and everythin'. You were even tryin' to convince me that you were capable of fartin'."

There was a long moment of silence. "That was the cider talking."

"Like fun it was." Applejack snorted. "I've seen a lot of people go overboard on cider and I know it doesn't make you say anythin' that isn't already bouncin' around in your head." Applejack grinned, even though Rarity couldn't see her. "You're secretly proud of your tootin' ability aren't you?"

"I most certainly am not!"

"Be honest, Rarity! You're all about passin' gas! Probably load up on beans and cabbage every night, let it stew a bit and start trumpetin'! Probably savor the smell, too. You're pretty flexible, right? Probably curl yourself up so you can let it go right in your face!"

"I do not fart on myself!"

The lull in ambient noise told her that Rarity had spoken a bit too loud. Applejack tried to stifle her laughter. Rarity snorted, and lifted her bottom off the seat, and dropped back into place.

"UGH!" Applejack grunted, and resisted the urge to make a snide comment about the size of Rarity's behind. "Okay, okay, point taken."

"Good."

"But seriously, take some antacids or somethin' just in case. I don't want to be this close to your butthole when it hits."

"There's no need to be so worried, Applejack," Rarity said. "I assume you that no scent coming from anywhere on my body would be anything less than smelling of roses or flowers. Besides, antacids do nothing for gas anyway."

"And just how do you know that?"

"I heard it somewhere. What, did you think that I would know that by experience?"

"Well, given that you were talkin' about your stealth-fartin' abilities before, I thought you mighta learned the hard way."

"As if I would ever do that!" Rarity stuffed the remainder of the burrito into her mouth. "This place has such good spicy salsa! So delicious."

"You realize that's gonna burn just as much comin' out as it does goin' in, right?"

"Not if I have some ice cream afterwards to cool the burn. Or perhaps a nice milkshake."

"Like that's gonna help all that much. All that dairy can cause problems too, you know."

"Quit fussing so much about my digestive system," Rarity said. "Why don't you find a more suitable subject of conversation. The weather, perhaps."

"I have every right to fuss about your digestion! I'm sittin' right at the end of it. It kinda affects me." She snorted. "Besides, I can't see the weather, and even if I could, It's a boring thing to talk about anyway."

"It is not!"

"Yes it is! Nine out of ten conversations about weather are just 'Hey, we're due for some rain. Rainbow Dash must have messed up the schedule again.' And the other one out of ten are even worse. 'Nice weather we're havin!' Yeah, that's real interesting."

"You must just not have been talking to the right people then. Just a few days ago I had a lovely conversation with Cloudchaser about cloud sculpting. She can make some truly beautiful cloud formations."

"That's not really weather, though. Weather is rain and wind and such, not cloud sculptin'. I mean, that's cool and all, but I wouldn't call it weather."

"Fine, but even then, I've been told that there is an art to manipulating the weather. Sure, Rainbow Dash is all about speed, but many other fliers put a great degree of care into how they fashion their weather. They very often makes patterns in the clouds and such. It's really quite nice."

"Yeah. Pity we never get to see that 'cause it's rainin' whenever they do it. At least when Dash does her speed runs you can watch the show without gettin' soaked. I know you'd never go out in the rain. You put too much effort into that hair of yours."

"There is no such thing as putting too much effort into one's hair."

"That's a load of bull. Fluttershy barely spends five minutes every morning on her hair and she got to be a supermodel!"

"Well, we can't all be that lucky." Rarity sighed. "If only I could have that luxury."

"Yeah, you sure do suffer every day," Applejack said, her voice dripping sarcasm. "It's not like you could-" Her voice dropped off. She sniffed. "Rarity, you didn't just let one off, did you?"

"Let what off?"

"A fart, Rarity. I don't even have a nose right now, and I can still tell that somethin' smells awful. You were even goin' on before what with how you were so good with your silent-but-deadly farts."

"I most certainly did nothing of the sort!"

"Rarity, I literally got my face like an inch from your anus. If you fart, I'm gonna know about it! You can't deny it! Either you farted or somebody else farted so bad that I can smell it all the way over here. And let me tell you, if it stinks that bad all the way over here, at ground zero it must be a straight up biohazard."

"You must be experiencing some sort of hallucination!"

"I don't see anythin' out of the ordinary. In fact, I can't see anything except the inside of your dress."

"Not all hallucinations are visual, you know. They can also be auditory."

"I didn't hear anythin' either!"

"Well, maybe you're just experiencing a... oh, what's the word? An olfactory hallucination!"

"Is that even a thing?" Applejack wished she had her hands. She could smack Rarity with one and hold her nose with the other. "What did you turn into Twilight or somethin'? Why do you even know that?"

"Just because I don't live in a library doesn't mean that I can't read. Now stop making false accusations about my behind." Applejack heard the sound of Rarity draining the last of her soda out of the cup. "Now that I'm done eating, perhaps we can go see Twilight about getting you turned back to normal."

"About damn time," Applejack said. She felt Rarity stand and step out of the booth.

"Oh my." Rarity stopped.

"What? Get goin'!"

"I will." Rarity said, her voice suddenly strained. "But first, I must make a quick stop." She began to walk, quickly. As she did, Applejack heard a very unpleasant sound.

"Holy shit, Rarity!" Applejack grasped, trying to keep her voice down. "That smells worst than my pigpen! I didn't know burritos went through you so quickly!"

"Oh hush!" Rarity whispered.

Applejack heard Rarity open a door. It most definitely wasn't the door outside the restaurant. The smell was all wrong for that. There were no flowers, no fresh air, no wafting scents from other restaurants. What she did smell was more fart, and industrial cleaning solution. She heard another door-like squeak. She groaned as she recognized it. It was the sound and smell of a bathroom stall.

She felt the dress lift up. Then she saw it. A not-nearly-as-clean-as-she-would-have-liked toilet seat. Rarity's fingers slipped between Applejack and the skin of Rarity's thighs. "Rarity, I swear you had better not let me touch that floor! That's so gross!"

If Rarity heard her, she gave no indication. She found herself sliding down Rarity's legs. She tried to summon what little movement ability she possessed, trying to slow the descent. "NotthefloorNotthefloorNotthefloorNotthefloor!" She sighed in relief as she came to a rest around Rarity's ankles, dangling a few inches above the floor. Above her, Rarity had her dress hiked up to the waist. She all but dropped herself onto the toilet and not a moment too soon.

The sound and scent which bellowed forth from the toilet seat would haunt Applejack's dreams for years to come. It sounded as if a tuba filled with pudding had knocked up a diseased toad, and the resultant offspring was blowing the loudest, longest raspberry Applejack had ever heard while simultaneously suffering from a case of the runs. And the smell. The smell. If Stankobulon, god of refuse deigned to descend from his malodorous palace atop his mountain of rubbish, took the form of giant fist and socked her straight in the face, it would be preferable to whatever the hell it was Rarity had unleashed. The stink was so dense that she could almost see it. It was quite ugly.

"Aaaahhhhhh!" Rarity emitted a sigh of relief bordering on orgasmic. "Oh, that feels so much better!"

"Wow, Rarity, I didn't know you had it in you. Literally."

"Oh hush, Applejack."

"You had better do a thorough job of wipin' yourself after that."

"Applejack, please! There is no need to be so... lowbrow."

"It's a practical concern!" Applejack answered. "If I'm gonna be sittin' on you butt, I want your butt to be clean enough to eat off of. Not to mention that the smell alone could peel paint of my barn. You might end up burnin' a hole right through me if you aren't careful. I'm kinda surprised that the toilet's still in one piece!"

"Fine, I admit it! Burritos do horrible things to my digestion! Sometimes I... break wind, though I try to do it as discreetly as possible! Can you please stop talking about it now. It's a rather unpleasant subject."

"Okay, okay" Applejack mumbled. "With that smell it's just kinda hard to think about much else."

"Perhaps you can think of where you want to go after we get out of here."

"I say we make a beeline to the library so we can get Twilight to reverse this damn spell and get turned back into a girl."

"That sounds like a fine plan. The library it is. After a quick stop at my boutique, of course."

"The boutique? Why?" Applejack grumbled. "You aren't goin' to get more cider are you?"

"Of course not." Rarity sniffed and grabbed some toilet paper. "I just want to go get another pair of panties so that if Twilight does manage to reverse the spell, I won't be forced to go without underwear for the rest of the day."

"Huh, that's true. Maybe we should run back to the farm to grab some clothes for me, too. I'll probably end up naked when the spell gets turned off."

"It's settled then!" Rarity declared. "We'll pick up some clothes and then go see Twilight."

"Awesome! I can't wait to be back to normal."

Suddenly there was a knock on the stall door, an a third voice from outside the stall began to talk.

"Applejack? Is that you?"

"Rainbow Dash?" Rarity clamped her hands over her mouth, but it was too late.

Author's Note

Finally got around to updating this one. Apologies for all the butt-related humor. I wouldn't find it so amusing if it wasn't Rarity's butt.