Just Another 'Phantom'

"That went well." I remarked sarcastically, glancing over my shoulder at the three dead guards laying on the ground. I gripped my knife tightly, remembering their arrogance once again.

That's the last time that any of them ever fuck with me.

I glanced back towards the stairwell, a small smile gathering on my lips. I quickly scuffled down the short flight of stairs, turning right and heading to the end of the hall as instructed by my father.

Great, I'm here. Now I just need to find this 'Doctor Ambrosa', which shouldn't be too hard. I thought, my smile growing slightly larger.

I opened the door that lay before me and I could clearly see Ambrosa running between desks scattered around his laboratory to a large, strange machine that lay on the far end, it's polished chrome surface vibrant before the solid grey of the concrete wall. Ambrosa was wearing a cliche lab coat. I let out a dry cough and he turned to me, shock filling his eyes as he took a step back.

"W-who are you? How did you get past my guards?" He asked angrily. I snorted.

"You didn't expect a seventeen year-old wearing a black hoodie and jeans to break into your lab, especially one who is armed and clearly is here to set you straight?" I asked sarcastically. "Because if the fact that I have a dragon tattoo printed around my eye and a pistol strapped to my waist, not to mention a bloody knife in my hand, I have no words for you."

He quickly fumbled with a switch for a second before turning back to me. The machine started to emit a low hum as it burst into life, blue energy starting to appear in the gap in the middle. Doctor Ambrosa smiled evilly.

"Neither you nor your father will be able to catch me now, Phantom. I bid you farewell." He sneered before running into the blue light.

I sighed and took a step towards the electric feild, before stopping and thinking for a second.

Alright Austin, what should I do?

My subconsious flickered for a second, the voice kicking in soon enough.

What's up, Riles?

The crazy bastard just ran into some sort of electric thing. Thoughts?

Chase him, kill the fucker.

Glad you agree. It's settled then.

I sprinted after him into the portal, feeling my mind spin as I entered a state of... Nothing. It was odd, but I could faintly sense a strong presence enveloping a certain direction. As if someone was nearby.

Well, you know what to do from here. As the voice in your head, I decree that I will... Be taking a nap. Good luck, bro.

You piece of shit.

I try.

I mentally sighed and started stretching towards the presence, feeling reality warping around me for a brief instant. I was suddenly shot out onto grass, but my eyes remained closed.

Well, I guess I should probably get up. First, lets open our eye-FUCKLETSNOTDOTHAT-God damn that was bright. Well, seeing as the sun wants to fuck with me, I'll get up first instead. I quickly regained my balance, and I stood up fast. My eyes shot open, and I only had to blink them a few times to get used to my surroundings now.

Shit.

What's going on, Riley?

Everything's too bright. Is everything going alright in there?

Well.....  I think so. Well, you did just go through... something. We may be high.

I can't hear you when I'm high, remember?

Oh yeah... Well, I guess the only other option is that we went through a portal.

A portal? Well, shit. How are we getting back?

Aww, so soon? But I thought you liked fucking up places like this.

.....You're right. Well, let's go look for something. Or someone.

...Is it possible for me to be sarcastic?

Yes, but shut up. I need to find out just where I am.

I glanced at my surroundings once again, focusing on the fact that I was indeed on grass, but was surrounded by trees covered in apples. Without thinking, I quickly tore one off it's branch and took a bite, feeling satisfied at the resounding taste filling my mouth, and a feeling of ecstacy came over me. I swallowed, savoring every last flavor that graced my taste buds. When I finished, I threw the core on the ground and turned around to find two ponies standing in front of me. The orange one was wearing a cowboy hat, while the purple one had a horn protruding from its forehead. They seemed to be glaring at me.

I take it back, I think I really am high.

I noticed a serious expression on the orange one's face, and the purple one looked at me like she was experiencing the ultimate mindfuck. I burst out laughing, leaning against the tree for support against what would have been an embarassing fall.

"What is this thing?" The purple one asked in a female' voice.

I paused for a second.

Austin, we have a problem.

I thought we had lots of problems.

Smartass, I mean that this problem is a little more major than what we had experienced before.

Invading a rival assassain's headquarters in southern china wasn't a major problem?

I said more major. The purple unicorn-pony thing just talked.

Ability to communicate shows sentience. So stop pissing around and communicate already.

"Hello?" I asked, glancing between them as they stared at me, befuddled.

"Um.... H-hello? My name is Twil-"

"I don't care."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, I don't care."

I wonder if alien ponies understand trolling?

They glanced at each other before fixing me with a glare.

"That was mighty rude." The orange one said in a southern accent.

I snorted before shrugging and starting to walk away. I heard a shout from behind me as suddenly a lasso was wrapped around my waist. I didn't waste a moment, quickly slicing through the rope with the knife I still held in my hand. I turned around and glared at them, before finally decided to talk to them legitimately.

"What the fuck do you want, orange?"

She glared daggers at me. "Mah name is Applejack, and I would appre-"

"I think the name Orange suits you better."

Come on, stop it, you're being a dumbass.

Scrooge.

She opened her mouth to retort, but I realized something for the first time, and I burst out laughing again when I saw it. "You have tattoos on your asses? What kind of fucked up world is this?" I roared, losing my balance and lying on the ground, laughing until my sides hurt.

You're a pain in the ass to work with, you know that?

I try.

Ass.