I told you to go right

After what seemed like ten minutes of listening to what AJ and RD would do if they received the ticket, Sky Wheel and I got bored and wandered off. The well trodden dirt path seemed longer than I remember it being in the show...
"No jobs here." I sighed, drooping my head. "Any luck with your girlfriend?"
"No," Sky groaned. "And she's not my girlfriend. Yet."
"Ha." I laughed. "Keep dreamin', lover boy."
"Yeah?" he retorted. "At least my goal is realistic. Princess Luna? Really?" After a moment of silence, I spoke.
"Fair play, bro." I said finally.
"Likewise." he nodded.
"Anyway; you think the house'll nearly be done?"
"Dunno. What do you think?"
"That's why I was asking you."
"Fine, fine. I'm assuming there's at least the frame structured."
"The roof, hopefully."
"Yep."
"And we'd better get individual rooms and/or beds. I'm not sleeping next to Solar. Ever."
"Shudder."
"Oh yeah."
"And, I hope it has doors that are at least durable."
"Why?"
"That time of the year...?"
"No...?"
"Spring Fever..."
"Mmmm...nah."
"..."
"What?"
"...Mating season."
"Oooooohhhh. You should have bloody said that." I laughed. Suddenly, I noticed where we were: central Ponyville."Wow, that was a longer conversation than I'd thought." I said, stopping to look around for the others. "Where are they?"

"Don't ask me. All I know is that Inferno most likely went to look for a job as library assistant." Sky chuckled, before leaning in close to my face. "If you know what I mean." With that, we both received confused looks as we burst out laughing.

When we finally did meet up, it turns out that Solar got the gem hunting job from Rarity. The pay wasn't too bad; 100 bits per day, but it wouldn't do much for 6 grown colts living under one roof. Letting out an audible, simultaneous sigh, we all headed to Gustav's restaurant and seated ourselves outside around a table.
"Oh god." I groaned. "100 divided by six is sixteen point six-six-six-recurring."
"You figured that out by yourself?" Solar asked unenthusiastically.
"Yep. That's my brain EMP'd for the next 25 years." I grunted, smacking my head on the table in boredom. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head to cut through the boredom like a katana through butter. Raising my head suddenly, and standing up, I looked at the others. "Wanna go check the house out?" I asked enthusiastically. The other 5 sighed, and nodded, before getting back up and trudging after me as I bounded down the road. I knew I had wings, but I simply neglected to use them, because jumping was more fu-
A huge mass of hooves threw me to the ground and trampled all over me, knocking every gram of air from my lungs and probably destroying my ribcage. For what felt like 2 minutes, I was crushed beneath hundreds of hooves, all desperately going in one direction. But thankfully, the assault on my body ceased as the crowd left. All I could really see was blurred, and slightly red. If I'd have been in better shape, I would have killed somepony for a second wind, but I would probably be executed by Celestia.
"Whoa." I heard Fire say from above me. In an almost film-like fashion, there were heads all around me in a circle. "What was that about?"
"Remember Episode 3? Where everypony chases Twilight?" Sky replied, looking at him.
"Oh, yeah, yeah I do." Fire laughed. "Looks like Thunder got the ticket...to Painville!" All the other 4 laughed.
"Yep." I groaned. "Fucking hilarious...now help me up."
"Well, let's not crowd around him." Inferno snorted.
"No, seriously, I'll kill somepony. I need a second wind."
"Whoa, calm down. Let's not go to the downtrodden part of our friendship." Solar laughed.
"I swear to god, help me up now before I kick you all in your non-existent dicks."
"I guess you could say-"
"ONE MORE PUN. ONE MORE FUCKING PUN, AND I WILL BITCH SLAP YOU SO GODDAMN HARD YOU'LL BE LOOKING AT YOUR ASS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES." I growled. Almost immediately, 5 hooves shot out to help. Grinning, I grabbed Inferno's hoof and pulled myself up.
"There," I said as I dusted myself off. "That wasn't fucking hard, was it?"
"That's what she said." Sky said quickly.
"OOH, DAYUM." Solar yelled in his best black-guy voice.

"You know, I'm just gonna resist all temptations to make Pulp Fiction jokes and just usher you guys along to the house." I groaned. My ribs hurt still when I breathed. "Where's the Medic when you bloody need him...?" I muttered as we walked/hobbled down the road.

I resisted every urge to orgasm right then and there. The house looked awesome. It looked like a badass barn, with a fence surrounding its wonderful garden. Seriously, it looked better than Canterlot, took up a shitload of space, and had so many rooms. We felt like the most important ponies in Ponyville: even though we suck! So, all six of us just stood jaws agape, waiting to see what it would look like finished.
"Wooooow..." I murmured, not removing my gaze from the building in front. "I'm calling the window room." The latter comment was met with a loud 'GODDAMN IT, THUNDER!' from Solar and Ebony.
"Well, for all you know that room might be crap, so that is officially your room." Fire laughed. "Have fun in your cupboard."
"I will." I chuckled, before pulling my best Mr Bean face.
"Unnnfff..." Sky groaned from beside me. I looked, and saw him stretching out his wings and legs. "Inferno, Thunder, fancy a flight?"
"Sure," I replied, spreading out my impressive wingspan and pulling an awesome pose. "Where to?"
"Around Ponyville?"
"Yeah, I'm game." Inferno said, as he lifted into the air with hummingbird wing flaps.
"Alright, we'll just...ummm...go flirt with the girls...yeah." Solar said from near the fence. "Right guys?"
"Fuck off." Fire laughed, waving a dismissive hoof.
"Yeah, fuck off, Solar." Ebony grunted.
"Well, I'll go flirt?" Solar groaned, facehoofing.

"Go right on ahead:" I replied as I lifted into the air. "Nopony's stopping you." With that, we three pegasi soared off in the direction of Town Hall, dipping and weaving around clouds in our rapid travel around Ponyville.

During our flight, we spotted a familiar lavender unicorn fleeing from a huge crowd. We simply looked at each other, in a way that agreed on our next action: hero act. In a loose triangle formation, we dived behind the unicorn. I accelerated slightly, and tapped her on the shoulder as she ran.
"Need help?" I yelled over the roar of the crowd behind. Twilight turned her head, and smiled weakly.
"Yes, I suppose so." She replied. "Would you mind escaping with these tickets and meeting me back at the library?"
"No, of course I will!" I smiled. "Pass them here." Twilight obliged, levitating the tickets from an unseen location and...put them somewhere on me that I didn't see. It felt like my side, but I made sure they were secure before landing on my hooves. I tried to act casual.
"Hey! She gave them both to him!" I heard Colgate shout from the crowd. It felt like a million eyes were bearing down on me. My friends flew overhead, looked worried, before landing next to me. The whole crowd had changed course: now Ponyville was headed over here. I turned to Sky.
"You guys form a distraction, I'll get to the library!" I whispered.
"On it. Inferno: distraction." Sky hissed to the little olive-drab Pegasus.
Operation: get-the-fucking-tickets-back-to-Twilight-Sparkle's-library was underway.