I told you to go right

I couldn't see much from behind the crate, but I could hear them. Their futile attempts at answering the crowd's questions were clearly going to fail.
"You see, there's nopony behind there." Sky lied. "That's just him testing a new hologram technology for, uh, Twilight. Yeah."
"Yep. He's invisible, you won't know where he is until the hologram disappears." Inferno stated firmly. Yeah, just reference Borderlands 2. They're clearly not going to know that I'm some kind of fucking ninja assassin called Zer0. I thought angrily. Nice one. Anyway, I need a damn escape plan... I began to look around the small alleyway I'd carefully selected by running and ducking into it. A few ledges, a ladder, a small grate with what appeared to be a tunnel under it...no, nothing of use. Deciding my best option was for the other two to discourage the crowd, or for them to all explode, I simply stayed quiet.
"HI!" came a sudden voice that scared the living crap out of me. Instinctively, I leapt out of cover, and yelled at the top of my lungs.
"SON OF A BIIITCH!" I shouted. It strangely sounded like Handsome Jack. "PINKIE GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
"WHY YOU HIDING?" Pinkie began asking. "WHO FROM? OOH, OOH! HIDE AND SEEK? I LOVE THAT GAME? WHO ARE WE HIDING FROM?"
"I'm hiding fro-ooooooh, shit." I slowly looked to my right. The whole crowd was looking hungrily at the tickets tied to my side. I wanted to fly off, but I could see Rainbow there at the front. So, my brain had a massive shit. "I was never here/your eyes simply deceive you/I love holograms." Are you fucking kidding me...? Haikus? Really?
"Mr Mustang!" I heard one stallion shout. "I'll go with ya! It's me, Caramel! Your buddy!"
"I've never met you/stop trying to deceive me/they're Twilight's tickets." I yelled back.
"I'll give you 100 bits!"
"Oh, now you try bribes?/I'm already one rich bitch/bribes are for bad cops." I replied. I noticed that the crowd had pushed past Inferno and Sky, and were gradually pushing forward.
"Why are you speaking in poetry?" Rainbow yelled, darting forward in front of my face.
"Haikus are awesome/do not diss my poetry/where's my bowl of soup?" I yelled, backing up. Suddenly, I hit the wall.
"Now you're just stalling, hand 'em over!" she replied angrily, trying to grab them.

"You asked for it..." I muttered. "SKY! STOP STARING AT RAINBOW'S ASS!" It received the reaction I expected; Sky reeled back with a shocked expression on his face, and Dash stopped glaring at me and instead flew off back to Sky, lunged at him, and threw up a cartoon cloud of violence. Using the distraction, I instantly spread my wings and shot off upwards into the sky, my course set for the library.

By the time I'd landed on the balcony, every ounce of energy I had was spent. I was sweating, panting for breath, and my wings hung by my sides uselessly. But I felt safe at the same time; I'd reached my objective, now I just had to turn in the quest. In fact, when I did get inside, back into my temporary home, I would most likely just flop down onto the cushion I'd slept on last night and just pass out. These thoughts in mind, I tapped a hoof on the door and waited.
Eventually, Twilight came to open the doors. "You know, there's something called a front door..." she sighed as she opened the doors.
"I'm sorry, were you just being hunted down by everypony in Ponyville? Did you just sacrifice your friend's injury-free streak to deliver two pieces of paper?" I panted back.
"The first one, yes. The second, no. What happened?" Twilight inquired, leading me inside.
"Caught Sky staring at Rainbows flanks while she tried to grab the tickets. I pointed it out, and Dashie leapt on him and, I assume, began beating him up." I chuckled at the thought.
"Well, that was cruel." Twilight laughed, as we descended the stairs. "Except I'm assuming you might be trying to play matchmaker."
"Nah." I yawned. "I don't know if any of my boys like anypony in Equestria...more than a friend." I lied. I knew exactly who liked who; Ebony Chopper was gunning for Princess Celestia, Inferno Cloud was going for Twilight, Fire Trail was going for Rarity, Sky Wheel was having a tough time trying to get Rainbow Dash, Solar Blast was after Applejack, and I was pursuing Princess Luna. That kind of Intel is something you don't pass around.
"Well," Twilight rolled her eyes. "I think I know who your friend Inferno likes."
"Oh, really?" I feigned interest.
"Well, I'm probably...going to guess...me?" she whispered, looking slightly embarassed.
"No way." I gasped, pulling my best Nicholas Cage face.
"I know!" she looked excited. "He looks at me for a long time, he cleans the house, and runs all my errands. Seemingly just for my praise!"
"You're joking!" I laughed. She was really getting into this. It would be awkward if he, like walked i-
"Thunder! I'm alive!" He yelled as the door slammed open.
"...and to be honest, I kind of like Inferno, too!" Twilight claimed.
"Twilight. He's right there." I said, stifling my laughter.
"Are...are you joking?" Inferno whispered, looking on with shock and confusion. Twilight's ears pricked up, and she looked at the Pegasus in the doorway, blushing furiously.
"Oh. Erm, hi...Inferno...ha ha..." she trailed off. Haaaaa. This'll be absolute jokes.
"D-Do you mean that?" Inferno gasped, stepping forward.
"Ummm...y-yes?" Twilight replied shakily. She looked on the brink of tears.

"Ahahaha, now might not be the best time to say that...um..." I cleared my throat. "INFERNO AND TWILIGHT, SITTIN' IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Most appropriate timing for that goddamn song." Both looked exceedingly angry. "What, did I note hit the high 'C'?"

Within moments I was out of the house.