"To be honest, you look better now." Octavia smiled. As per Poison Joke effects, I now had almost the exact same colour-scheme as Octavia. Even my Cutie Mark was replaced by hers, and from what I could hear my voice took on an even more English tone. Effectively, I was now male Octavia. I looked back with my new purple eyes.
"You're joking, yes?" I sighed. "Seriously, you must be joking. I was smexy enough as blue-and-gold Thunder Mustang, now I'm...Tavi Ocstang. Though I must admit I wondered what it was like to look extremely sexy, it isn't something I'd want all the time." My neck clicked. "I do not enjoy this as much as Christian enjoys copulating with Colgate. But I do enjoy this. You have done well, Lady Octavia." Octavia blushed.
"Oh, why thank you, Gentle." she beamed. "I always ensure that I'm at my finest during the day, and at my 'wildest' at night." I stopped, and looked at her. "What?"
"We're heading to Ponyville." I said.
"Yes?"
"Trixie kicked us out of Ponyville."
"So?"
"She's more powerful than us."
"So?"
"She's a woman."
"Seduce her into submission, then."
"Won't work."
"Why?"
"Because she hates me, and would more than likely end up seducing me instead."
"Take the domination like a stallion. Now, let's keep going, we're almost the-"
Just then, there was a deafening whoosh. Looking up in reaction, I nearly ~~licked Octavia~~ shat myself. Above the entirety of Ponyville, extending all the way to Sweet Apple Acres' outer fence, was a large glass dome. It materialized from literally nowhere, and was now floating above. Octavia and I gawped at it. Then, without warning, a purple thing flew out of Ponyville, and the dome slammed down at an insane pace. This left Octavia and I gawping at the shit that had just happened.
"wtf is this shit" Octavia said in confusion.
"no fukin clue" I replied. What we were saying was appearing over our heads in speech bubbles.
"k lets break in"
"yeh"

After 5 hours, we finally managed to dig a tunnel under the dome. This meant other ponies could escape, and we could get in. I helped Octavia leave the hole, and we were both greeted by a different Ponyville. Ragged banners advertising Trixie were flapping in a wind that shouldn't have existed, the clouds were grey, and the streets were hauntingly empty. All around, windows had been boarded up, wagons flipped, and evidence of past conflicts was visible everywhere. The few ponies walking around looked terribly depressed.
"Good god." I whispered to Octavia. "What has she done to this place?" The grey mare beside me looked like she was about to cry.
"T-this...is shocking..." she whispered back, chin wobbling. Carefully, I wrapped my hooves around her as we sat in an alley. We looked exactly the same now, except I was more...masculine.
"We'll get her. I promise." I soothed. Then, I helped her to her hooves, and galloped off to find the girls and guys. I assumed they'd be at the town hall, since that was the most decorated building and had a lot of light coming from it, but entry through the front door was a stupid idea. I turned to Octavia. "You wait down here. If she comes outside to get you, take this." I reached into my 5th dimension pockets, and pulled out a Strange Pistol. She was highly reluctant to take it. "This is the M9 Point-Defense Weapon, it comes with a nine round magazine, Detachable via the use of this button-"
"Thunder?!"
"-aim, and shoot, don't miss-"
"Thunder!"
"If you can hit her in the head, it'd be an instant-kill-"
"THUNDER!" She yelled. "I'M NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE AGAIN!" I stopped, and blinked.
"...what?"
"I'm not taking the pistol, because I trust you can keep me safe. Bring me with you to the roof of the hall, and I'll help you no matter the cost." I looked at her for a moment.
"...alright."

Another five hours later, I was on a train back to Canterlot. I was back to my normal self, and I was also nursing a wound, being supported by Rainbow and Twilight either side. "...m-my own gun..." I groaned, clutching the hole. "...she sh-shot me...with my own fucking gu-gun..." Twilight frowned.
"Are you sure you're up for this fight with Blueblood?" she asked worriedly. The other guys were looking equally as worried, desperate for me to go to the hospital. I can't even remember any of the five hours, but I remember bring shot. That tends to stick out. Blood was going through the bandages, tinting them red underneath my jacket. "You're badly wounded, maybe you should just sit this one ou-"
"I can't!" I cried. "I've become what I feared I would from the start; a gun-toting, smoking, drinking mare magnet. I hate that life idea! I just wanted some kind of normality! But sanity won't allow it!"
"Ain't no rest for the wicked." Fire sighed.
"And now I've accepted the duel, I can't back down or he'll kill Lulu and Celly, then take the throne! I'm not letting that happen, even if it fucking kills me." A few seconds later, blood loss kicked in, and I passed out.

Author's Note

I watched the music video for Britney Spears' new 'Work' song.
Seriously, that shit is like porn.
Watch it.
Right now.

Anyway, yeah, this was slightly rushed. I can't find a way to make the story flow well from being kicked out of Ponyville, so I intend to pull myself out of this authoristic rut as fast as fucking possible.