I sat in my new office, rain pattering on the skylight built into the street and camoflaged with magic to ensure nobody saw us. It was about 1:00AM, darkness above, and I was alone, sorting through the masses of personal death threats I had been receiving from mares back in Equestria. The letters themselves were being sent to the Crowme Southern District Post Office, where one of us would retrieve all the letters to the hundreds of stallions we had with us. Some of them were genuinely the most unthreatening things I have ever read. Plus, coupled with the fact that any human entering Equestria can't die forever, I felt no level of intimidation from them. Inferno and I had even started competing to see who'd get the most messages from their marefriend/ex-marefriend/mares that're friendzoning with benefits, and so far he was winning. He didn't want to spend Estrus with Twilight*, since she was wild enough, plus the fact she contains the other half of a deadly spirit of the greatest mass-murderer in history, he was staying away until she calmed down. Thus, he'd received 30-70 messages a day for the past 3 weeks. I was getting about 40 messages a day, slightly less, so Inferno was winning.

I sighed, stubbing out my cigar in the ashtray at the desk, and then reading the letter I had received again. This was not a death threat, nor a plea. Instead, it was a rather concerning message from Celestia. She was asking me a question.

My dearest Thunder,

I am aware we have been on unfair terms as of late. However, this letter is not an attempt to convince you to return. I'm simply going to ask a question of you; Have you sent an assassin after my sister and myself? We have been receiving many reports of a creature running about the country with a rifle, and...eliminating those important scientists left in Equestria when you all left, and the morale is dropping back here. If it was you who sent this stallion, I am completely disgusted in you. You've ordered 20 scientists to be killed in the past 3 weeks, and yet you send no reason to do so. I'm afraid to say that if you don't come forward with who this gunman is, I shall have no choice but to send assassins of my own to eliminate members of your 'cult'.

You have one week before I begin to send my own troops.

-Celestia

XXX

I frowned. "She should know I'm better than that." I muttered, before getting out my well-worn quill and a piece of new paper, and starting to write.

To Celly,

Believe me, I would NEVER send an assassin to do work I could do personally. To answer your question; no, I didn't send a gunman after your scientists. If anything, I'm AGAINST that idea; if Dok had stayed behind, or Bill, there'd have been massive problems if this guy started taking potshots at them. I'd actually like to see some photographs of the corpses, crime scenes, any outstanding evidence as to what this 'creature' is capable of. If they're the wounds I expect, then we have a serious, SERIOUS problem. Any evidence you have, I cannot stress how important it is that you send me anything relating to the damages this creature has caused, witness reports, ANYTHING.

Plus, I'd rather you didn't send assassins. I don't want to have to make somepony clean up the mess I'd make.

-Thunder

( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

Now all I needed to do would be leave it to Spike to send away, and think over what exactly this creature could be. Slipping the letter through my 'Send' box outsidemy door, and closed up for the night. However, as I closed the door to my office whilst standing in the dark, empty corridor of the base, there was the sound of ~~Music~~ faint hoofsteps coming from down the corridor. I rolled my eyes. What'd somepony need at this hour? Muttering, I locked my door, before slipping on my Trophy Belt and beginning to head towards the diner. As I went down the dark wooden corridors, I began to notice things. As I'd been going to my office hours earlier, a few stallions had been taken out into the corridor and were being treated by a few doctors. Now, I noticed the medical equipment had been left unattended, and blood patches were on the floor, being dragged away down the hall.

"Must have been some kind of stabbing..." I whistled through my teeth. I contemplated knocking on a nearby door, but realized that the time was a factor in why they wouldn't be answering me if I did. Little pussies couldn't stay up past their bedtime. Anyway, I carried on. But the hoofsteps behind were getting much more...shuffly. As I got near, I kept casting my gaze behind me, just to try and catch a glimpse of who the tossers were that were following me. All I had on me was my 1911 and a magazine to spare, so I could only assume that I'd have the upper hand if I was attacked.

Again.

Assumed.

Thunder, darling?

Aye?

I have worrying news.

Psht. Can't be that fucking bad.

There's been a massive boost of ponies around Equestria. We're thinking it has something to do with your planet's...dead.

So you're implying there's some relation to the deceased of my world...coming here?

I'm afraid so. The most recent census has had a massive new political view appearing in many of the new citizen's answers.

And it is?

Nazzee.

What? Nazzee? Never heard of it. Spell it out, love.

N, A, Z, I. Nazzee.

WHAT?! Nazis?!?!? That's impossible! They shouldn't...no. No. You're joking. You have to be pulling my fucking leg. TELL ME YOU ARE, LUNA. TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!

I assume you have some kind of problem with the Nazis?

Tell that to over six million Jewish men, women, and children that were needlessly killed by a genocidal campaign that remained undetected for over five years!

Thunder, stop exaggerating. You deserve no right to speak of the innocent so lowly, especially when you summoned a creature to kill several important scientists staying behind.

CAN IT, SUNBUTT! I'M TELLING LUNA OF THE SEVERE PROBLEM OF THIS 'NEW' POLITICAL GROUP! Have they put forward a leader?!

U-Um, y-yes, they have. His name is...let me look...Das Führer, according to all of the ponies asked.

Oh Dear God. This cannot be happening. Not here. It can't be.

Um...I-I think we can sort this out...

Send your army to the borders of Equestria. I'll send our group to the opposite border, and we'll settle this once and for all.

You're kidding with this.

No, we're not going to kill each other off.

Fine, I'll go to you and we'll settle this like mature ponies.

Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

That doesn't help.

Author's Note

* But I'd willingly spend it with Nightmare Moon.