From the library balcony, nearly the entirety of Ponyville was visible, and only then did I realize the vastness of it; more shops than...a lot of shops, hundreds of houses, and the Town Hall. It was 5 times larger than the show implied, and I hadn't really had a look at Ponyville even after several weeks. It made a nice backdrop for Twilight and I to discuss important things, like getting my damn voice back.
"So, figured out how to get me unconcious without causing brain damage?" I asked, before taking a sip of the tea. I was getting used to my voice, but I sounded like a female Claptrap and made me want to pull my own throat out and kick it into a furnace.
"No," Twilight replied. "Not yet. Who knows, maybe with brain damage you won't ever speak again, and you won't have to speak like a mare anymore."
"Yeah, hahaha." I laughed sarcastically. "But no."
"I was going to suggest just asking her to change it back, but...you know why."
"You damn well know I do." I snorted, looking over to the carriage settled smugly in front of Town Hall. I then had an idea. "I know, why not just bombard her stupid house with magic? Then, when she crawls out, threaten her with a surgical tool and slowly slice her open until she agrees. Finally, once she's done that, give her a knife and tell her to kill herself. That should work." I nodded at the lavender mare, except, er, she was kind of white now. The poor dear looked on the brink of passing out after hearing my description.
"N-N-No th-thanks." she whimpered. "M-May I say, I-I think you're still i-in-s-s-sane."
"Yep." I replied proudly, prodding a hoof to my chest. "I said so earlier."
"Well, a-anyway," Twilight shuddered, returning to purple, "It should be taking effect now."
"What should?" I asked. Suddenly, as if on cue, a wave of drowsiness hit me like a ton of bricks. I found it a spontaneous struggle to keep my eyes open even as my vision blurred, and I was fighting to keep my balance. Swaying left to right, I looked the lavender mare in the eyes as she gave a barely-comforting smile. "Y-You poisoned the t-tea...?"
"I did." she replied. Her voice seemed distant and echoing, ringing in my ears. "You seemed tired already. All you needed was a little..." Twilight pressed a hoof against my chest, and lightly shoved me onto my back. Almost as though the push was a linchpin holding my conciousness intact, my vision dimmed fully as I passed out. The last thing I remember hearing came in the form of a detached voice.

"...push."

A huge group of giant screaming Necromorphs charged at me down the thin corridor. Each one of the rotting corpses represented a part of my soul; insanity, distrust, psychopath, murderer, sadist, fear, rage, and most prominently, inverted Thunder. The latter, being the largest and most powerful looking, looked exactly like me, except with inverted colours, voice, and exceedingly sharp teeth and FUCKING TERRIFYING EYES THAT STILL HAUNT ME hollow eyes. As the group approached at speed, I felt no urge to run; instead, they ended up right on top of me, tearing my guts from my eye sockets. Inverted Thunder reared up, opened his mouth, and-

I awoke to Ebony singing in the other room. Well, I didn't awake of my own volition; his shitty choice of song, of course being Rick Astley, forced me into conciousness by standing next to the pool that was my mind and doing crappy 80s dancing until the waters of conciousness curdled and turned into piss. So, forcing my eyes open so I could see where the assault was coming from, I opened them, shook my head a few times, before springing up again. I recognised where I was; my room in the house. A simple affair; a desk, a chair, bed, clock, floor, walls, door, roof. That was it. Although, I'm assuming Celestia did have a sense of humour whilst telling the interior designers my personality: it had one engraved wooden shield that was covered with my favourite words. 'Fuck', 'Piss Off, Jackhole', 'Bloody Hell', and my personal favourite, 'Aaaahh, I already don't like you.' The latter of which, cheerfully enough, had a detailed drawing of me glaring at Celestia as she frowned at the small blue Pegasus in front of her.. All that on one tiny oak shield. I made a mental note to commend Celestia at the Gala for her humour, and promptly forgot it: the ear rape downstairs was still occuring.
"Ebony!" I yelled. I held back a squee when I realized my voice was back to normal. "Shut the fuck up!" The singing stopped. "Thank god..." I groaned, before looking at the clock. 7:00. Not bad, must be time for dinner. Grunting in approval, I slipped my legs over the side of the bed, stood on all four hooves, and trudged downstairs. I still couldn't help but be amazed at the generosity of Celestia: the house was the size of the Boutique, except it looked like a barn, and each room was decently sized. So, that was 3 floors, a 'loft', where we just chilled, the middle floor, where all 6 rooms were kept, and the ground, where the kitchen, dining room, and living room were positioned. I assumed my buddies/housemates were downstairs preparing to eat, so I trotted into the kitchen.
Ebony Chopper was preparing vegetables with a huge axe (don't ask), Inferno was sat carefully gluing plates together after he dropped them all down the stairs, Solar was cooking something in the oven, of course it was burning, and Sky was wafting smoke out of the window. Before I could ask where Fire was, the fiery earth pony ran in, dumped apples all over the floor, before running out. Ebony promptly turned around, shouted 'THANK YOU' in a way that reminded me of Face McShooty, and began to try picking them up.
"Yep." I muttered. "Gang's all here."

Author's Note

This isn't a serious chapter. Hell, this isn't a serious story. Why did I upload this?