I told you to go right

The passing hours blurred together into one incredibly anecdote filled evening. Princess Luna's tales ranged from her first encounter with combat, to when she and her sister took on Discord. Mine; Running from Terramorphus, looting a box of diamonds, and such other usual Minecraft-like crap. Dig, hide from misters, find shit, take it. That's it.
"So, thou seems to be relatively good at digging things up." Luna noted, taking a beer from the small ice bucket beside her. She popped the lid off, chugged it, before placing it down. "Did thou not consider Archaeology rather than the Weather Patrol?" I realised that was a good point, and facehoofed.
"Aaahhh...should have thought of that..." I groaned. "Well, I had wings...and I move clouds pretty fast...so...yep." I looked on the table. Several empty beer bottles were arranged in a group, or clustered about the table. Most of them were hers, but only about 6 were mine. I quietly cursed my inability to hold alcohol whilst listening to the Princess continue on about how I should have got a job as an archaeologist.
"...perfect pay, interesting daily routine, and you usually get to keep what you find. If the item isn't already in a museum and you have a copy, that is." Luna continued. "We were an archaeologist ourself for a short time; for the museum now known as the Canterlot City Museum. Back when we worked there, it was called 'The Discord Museum', after the figure stood in the gardens."
"Wow, you've done a lot in your life." I mused. Luna simply puffed out her chest proudly. "Still haven't defeated Terramorphus, though." I laughed.
"Thou art a moodkiller." she groaned. Once again, she opened a beer.
"How many beers have you had tonight?" I asked, rather worried for her liver.
"Alicorns like our sister and us have an immunity to most poisons; a necessity if thou were to rule ancient Equestria. If a member of the Royal Council were to tire of his position, he would have two options; exit his position, or try for the throne. Most ponies chose the former, save for a brave few who selected the latter. Ascending the throne was no easy task: a would-be monarch would have to murder the current ruler secretly. The only way to do so secretly was with poison, so immunity was a must."
"Sounds tough." I whistled.
"Twas just that. In total, 57 attempts were made on our sisters' life, with a neglect to attempt our murder. A common misconception was that by killing one Princess, the assassin would gain the hoof of the second in marriage. Whenever that excuse was brought up, we...personally, dealt with it."
"Yikes."
"Hmmph. We art not terrifying now, but back then brutality secured safety."
"Fun times." I groaned. The alcohol was really getting to me. It was easy to tell it was having an effect; Luna's eyes suddenly seemed a lot deeper, more loving, and seductive, as well as the sudden curves she had gained. However, these were the only effects that came up, aside from a hangover the next morning.
"Hmmm..." Luna quietly asked, putting a hoof to her chin and narrowing her eyes at me. "Art thou feeling alright? Thou seems...woozy."
"Meh, probably just the alcohol." I replied. "Doesn't seem to be getting me so drunk that I begin telling everypony they're my 'bestest buddy', or whatever. Equestrian beer is pretty good for that, I must say."
"Special Manehattan brew." Luna smiled. Her teeth were a dazzingly bright white. "Magically brewed, aged, and bottled since the brewery opened. Enjoying it?"
"Yep." I replied. "Still kind of drunk, though. Things to note about my drunk level are the fact that the room seems slightly blurred, and you seem waaay more attractive than you were earlier. And you were very attractive then." Luna blushed furiously.
"Erm, yes, the alcohol, um, might do that..." she trailed off. Her mane seemed much more enticing now.
"You know, I'd better just stop drinking now so I don't say any more weird things. Like the fact that there's fog entering the room that's green."
"No, there isn't, you fool." Luna rolled her eyes. "And yes, stop drinking. If you wouldn't mind, that is?"
"Oh, I just noticed that your manner of speech changed. Like, you don't say 'thou', 'thee', and 'we' anymore."
"I have?" she asked, looking rather confused. She realised what she just said and squee'd in delight."I HAVE! I must have picked it up from you!" Her happy face nearly exploded my heart from adorableness.
"You're welcome." I smiled. "Either my speech pattern rubbed off on you, or you're a bit drunk."
"Most likely the first one." she laughed. "I don't get drunk. When it was possible for me to get drunk, it was quite amusing actually. Several stallions were bedded, law enforcement was fought off, I accidentally snogged my sister, life was good."
"You kissed your sister?" I gasped, a smile on my face.
"Oh yeah. 4 shots of Gryphonian vodka can do that to you..." Luna looked kind of embarassed. "Those stallions were never heard from again, though."
"Tough love." I snorted in reply.
"Hey, for the record; they spanked my plot first." At that comment, we both looked into each others eyes for a moment, before we burst out laughing. Thank god the guards had been dismissed hours ago. Minutes of laughter rang out through the hall.