I told you to go right

I contemplated my next move after a good 10 minutes of setting up shelter and lighting a now roaring fire. One possibility, I thought, would be to sneak in and listen to their conversations. However, since I didn't have a Dead Ringer and I'm not Zer0 or Spy, that would be tough as hell is hot. Maybe I could sneak in, listen to their conversations, and sneak out again, before returning up to my perch so I could rest up for my journey back to Appaloosa. Then it hit me.
That was the exact same plan I came up with before that.
Facehoofing, I straightened my hat and sat on the floor of the shelter. It was simply a fabric tent, about 5 metres by 10 metres, and came with a folding stool, cushion, table, and pot for cooking. Simple, but I was still surprised the Buffalo below hadn't detected it. I muttered some unintelligible things along the lines of 'fat bastards', 'bloody pikeys', 'bloody spying', and 'I wish I had a Huntsman right now', before looking up at the moon. Craters dotted it, it seemed as though it were only a few thousand miles above, and it was practically a sun. Except it was still dark. I didn't spend too long watching it; after about 10 minutes I got up, removed my ever-faithful jacket-thing, lay it on the table, and sat on a large rock under the stars. Fire crackling and setting my perch up with a sunset gold glow, I leaned back.

"Wonder what my bloody family's doing right now...?" I asked myself. I hadn't thought of Earth at all since I was in Equestria; mainly because I didn't want to go back. But still: what would they be doing? Had my parents returned? Had my brother stopped being a dicksack? I didn't know. I still don't. Sighing at my lack of sunglasses, I closed my eyes and quietly slept under the moon.

Evening, Thunder.
Hey Luna. You alright?
I am, don't know about you though.
Why? What's wrong?
Well, I was looking through your mind, and since I'd abused all of it, which I know you enjoyed-
Well...yes. I...kind of did. But, erm, go on.
Ok then, well, I looked to the...darker corners. Does the name 'Ishimura' mean anything to you?
Yes, Dead Space. Why bring it u-oh, you went aboard, didn't you...?
I did, actually. Met a rather charming fellow named Isaac, we fought strange creatures together, his girlfriend died, sadly, and just as we left some creepy fucking zombie jumped him in the cockpit of some kind of escape ship. I never got to see his face but I will never forget you, Mr Isaac.
Sooooooo...you're worried because I have a mental safety catch of a loaded Air Rifle? Why'd that worry you?
Yes, I kind of am. You have an ALIEN PARASITE IN YOUR MIND. On board a SPACESHIP, containing a man called ISAAC. Of course I'd be worried!
Well, it won't affect you until the damn things jump out from your cupboard, crawl down your throat and turn you into one of them as you sleep.
Words of reassurance?
Yep. Sleep with one eye open tonight. Can't have my massage target turned into a Necromorph, can I? No. Plus, it wouldn't bring out the masses of sex appeal in your eyes.
Yes, Lulu. It certainly wouldn't.
Oh, no...
What are we discussing, guys?
Cadence, 'sup?
Nothin' much, bro. What's the word on the street, dawg?
Well, I'm spyin' on dem Buffalo thugs, savin' da hood in case they try and, like, bust a cap in our asses, you know what I'm saaaaayin'?
Safe, safe, bro! Keepin' dem folks alive in case dem goons try and get on yo turf, dat's cool. Yo, Celly girl, got any weed, man?
Damn right I do, man. 25 bits for a joint, dawg. You in?
I'm...not sure what's going on right now?
Neither do I.
Yo man, who da hell are you? Whatchoo doin' on dis turf, dawg?
My name is Captain Shining Armor. Who are you?
Yo Thunder, I want y'all to meet my home-boy Shining. We're gonna be getting hooked up pretty damn soon, dawg.
Damn, respect! Put her here, bro!
A hoof bump? Alright then.
-CLOP-
Dayum, son! You got one hell of a sick hoof bump, bro.
Thank you...Thunder, was it?
Yep.
Well, anyway. So I hear one of your friends is dating my sister? Twilight Sparkle?
Yes, he is. Apparently they're both having the time of their lives.
Ha, yeah. I can hear the moans from Canterlot!
Try sleeping in the same house as those two and 3 other mares that are dating my friends. All elements of harmony: lucky sods.
Oooh, that must be like having a...a...um...what are those creepy things called? The weird zombie things on board the Ishimura over there?
Cool, you've been there too? Those are Necromorphs. A parasite. More accurately, a bug to squish. Even more accurately, terrifying mother-fuckers that vomit in your mouth, eviscerate you, impale you, decapitate you, eat you, rip your arms off, bite your neck open, scream at you, or crawl into your mouth and turn you into one of them.
Sounds like fun, actually. Do they bleed?
I like you already! Yes, they bleed. A lot. Especially when you cut their arms off.
Been there, done that, got the mental scarring to prove it.
You know...that sounds fun. I might go kill some.
You'll happily kill things?
Eventually, after having to put up with Blueblood for five minutes, there comes a point where you NEED a release.
Yeah, I see where you're coming from. Just make sure none go in your mouth, alright? You want an extra challenge, only use what you find on the floor. Including dismembered limbs.
Oh, I will. Break into your mind again soon. See ya.
Ha. I swear your mind is like a playground of random cruelty. I like it here.
Thank you. Stay as long as you want, and don't die; I have to clean up the exploded corpses, you know.
As you wish. I'll try not to scar you too much, but maybe the odd hallucination. Just remember you can't shoot it. Heh Heh.
That reminds me, what've you managed to learn from the gun so far?
A lot. We're trying to approve them for law enforcement usage. Soon, you might see a guard walking past with his Royal Manufactured FARMAS.
Just going to ignore the pun you made. Seriously, I'm probably going to wake up now. Bye. Just...don't make puns. Please.