I told you to go right

"Frrkin' ell...strp dr'ling 'n mm..." I muttered, waving a hoof in front of me to dispel whatever hellspawn had decided to start dripping bodily fluids onto my face. "Pss 'ff, 'sshole..." Then I realised: what was drooling on me? Snapping my eye open, I was confronted by the sight of one angry looking Buffalo.
"You have angered us enough, invader." he snorted angrily. I scrambled back, finding that I was surrounded by more. A wall of brown obscured my shelter, if it was still standing. "What makes you have the courage to spy on our encampment, little one?"
"Well, according to the fellas in Appaloosa, you've been quiet." I replied, straightening my hat to block the sun. "So they thought you and your mates were gonna kill 'em all like a bunch of pikeys."
"We had no such intentions!" he snorted back. A jet of steam shot from his nostrils. I backed away, only to bump into another tribalman. "You were the ones who settled upon ancient stomping grounds; planting your trees as though it were yours to begin with! It was stomped upon by my father, and his father before tha-"
"Bloody hell, mate, I get it." I raised a hoof quickly to stop him. "But you weren't planning to be a bunch of wankas and try to kill us?"
"No, that was no intention of ours. Leave."
"Fine, fine. I'll get my bags then; bloody hell." I replied. The crowd parted as I headed to my bag, next to the crudely put down tent. I sighed. No shelter for me then. This shit's on loan. I hefted my bag onto my back, and turning to leave, I heard one thing that changed my mind.
"Chief, does he know you're lying?" a buffalo whispered. My eyes shot open, I reached back, grabbed a jar of apple juice, and rapidly tossed it at Chief Thunderhooves.
"JARATE!" I yelled. The glass shattered on impact with the hulking animal, spraying glass, apple, and smells all over nearby buffalo. A few even turned fully yellow, as per my physics-defying daily ritual. My job done, I quickly turned and ran back to Appaloosa as fast as I could go.
"Get him!" a voice boomed behind me, followed by the sound of a thunderous cacophony. As I ran, I turned my head around: hundreds of buffalo angrily stormed after me, the sight was a spectacle to behold. My mind then flicked to my wings. Barely ever use these bastards: might as well use them now! I thought. Quickly, I spread both wings in a flash, crouched slightly, and shot off into the sky. The floor no longer shook so violently as I hovered in mid air above the horde.

"Fuck you, you fuckin' motherfuckers!" I laughed down at them. "I know about your plan! Have fun getting through our defences, asshoooooles!" My taunting finished, I began to shoot back Appaloosa.

"Guysthey'replanninganattackandtheyjusttriedtokillmebecauseIchuckedtheequivalentofajarofpissintheirleader'sfacebecauseI'madickheadlikethatweneedtosetupdefencesnow!" I forced out in one breath. The girls, my friends, and other townsfolk stared at me as though I were insane. Quickly, Braeburn and the others trotted up to my panting for breath form.
"Calm down, Thunder." he said calmly, putting a hoof to my shoulder. "Catch your breath, then tell us what's happened." I breathed slowly for a second, straightened up, and cleared my throat.
"Ok." I started. "I set up camp above their camp. They seemed to be sharpening horns and putting on war paint: possible signs. Next morning, their Chief was breathing in my face, before claiming 'he had no intentions of hostility'. Just when I was turning to leave, I heard one buffalo whispering to their chief 'does he know you're lying?'. So, I chucked a jar of apple juice at him, turned, and flew back here. So, it can be assumed they're planning an attack. You're welcome."
"Alright..." Sheriff Silverstar groaned. "You heard the stallion, the buffalo are planning an attack. Get to making weapons, folks!" The Sheriff and Braeburn trotted off quite quickly, leaving me, the girls, and guys.
"Are you serious?" Inferno asked quickly. "They're gonna try and kill us? Shit."
"I'm as serious as Sam." I replied. "Look on the bright side: we get to chuck shit at bitches later, so that's cool."
"Yeah, but we can't be sure they won't do the same." Twilight cut in. "And what if they pack spears?"
"Don't worry: we have Human Ingenuity. We shall SUCCEED!" I cheered, raising a hoof as triumphant music played in the background. "Let us craft mighty blades and bows! Explosive rifles with grenade launchers! Heroic things! Let us do so!" And with that, my friends and I quickly cantered to the blacksmith.
20 minutes later...
"...oh cock, Twilight, your flank's on fire."
"It is...? Oh, SHIT!"
"Nice one, Solar. Fucking burning Twilight like that, you dumbass."
"Shut up, Fluttershy."
"Really? Care to make me, jackoff?"
"Nah, I'm good. Oh yeah, Fluttershy, you're on fire."
"I've been burned so many goddamned times my skin is a fireproof mass of scar tissue!"
"Where have I heard that befo-OW SHIT THE SPARKS JUST WENT IN MY EYE!"
"Ha, you deserved it, Ebony. Can I just ask: why is this screwdriver on fire?"
"Don't ask me, I'm just the guy welding wood to string."
"Whew, I'm back. My poor butt..."
"Need me to kiss it better, darling?"
"No thanks, Inferno. Appreciate the offer: maybe later."
"Anyway. Has anypony managed to make anything yet? That hasn't broken?"
"Erm. No?"
"Great. We are royally fucked."