I told you to go right

"THUNDERLANE!" I yelled to the clouds. Ponies had gotten used to the Princess, and just sort of watched us standing in the town centre, fully armed and armoured, whilst calling for a certain charcoal-black Pegasus. Moments later, his head popped out from on top of a cloud.
"Wha-WHA?!" Thunderlane's face of wondering what I wanted him for turned to one of shock, as he fell from his cloud and smacked into the floor in front of us. Groaning, he rubbed his head, before turning to me. "YOU'RE DATING LUNA?!" he shouted.
"YES." I yelled back. "AND STOP SHOUTING."
"Oh, DAMN. Anyway, whatchoo want?"
"~~To rip out your eyes and piss on your brain~~ We're gonna go face Discord, we need your help to lead us down those tunnels."
"Alright, am I getting paid?"
"Nope."
"Damn...fine. I'll come with. Just lemme go tell Flitter where I'll be."
"You have a marefriend?" Fire cut in.
"Mm-hmm." Thunderlane grinned. "Goes as fast as I can, flying and in bed."
"I'll still be faster than you in the air. 250MPH, my record. Still not reached terminal velocity, according to Twilight Sparkle." I proclaimed proudly. "Anyway, you do that, we still have to gather a formidable force to face down a Chaos God. Meet us in Town Center."
"OK :D" Thunderlane replied. I reeled back.

"How did you...never mind. See you then." Thunderlane promptly took off, as Luna, Fire, Inferno, my clone, and I began to hunt for the other ponies who could be of help. I turned to my clone. "No seriously," I asked, "How the FUCK did he do that?" All I received was a shrug.

"Beeeeeerryyyyyyyy!" I called. "We need yooooooooou!"
"Wha...?"
A sudden movement at a nearby bar cubicle caught my eye. I turned, and saw Berry Punch lying half-dazed on the table. There were multiple wine glasses nearby, several smashed on the floor, and at least two bottles. I groaned.
"Berry, since you're a bit tipsy, would you mind coming with us on a journey we may never come back from?" I asked. Quite hopefully, I might add.
"Aye," she replied, staggering to her hooves. We all moved away to give her space. "Only I can go on adventurin', and I'm DRUNK. Ye don't have an excuse to be edventurin' in the Spr'ng."
"Right..." Luna muttered, before moving to my ear. "You sure she's the right mare for the job?" she whispered, "She looks more like the one who'll mess it up."
"If there's anypony who's taken more interest in human combat and weaponry, explosives included, it's Berry. She'll probably blow herself up, so it won't have to be open casket." I replied. The others were keeping the drunkard amused.
"Oh...OK? Why would she be interested in your species' weapons?"
"Ex-Coltfriends, defending her daughter, defending herself, wanting to join the military, I dunno. But since she's probably the only one who's got a supply of bombs hidden in her garden, she's one of the few who can help."
"Very well. She's aboard." Luna breathed into my ear, before nibbling it and moving away. I felt it flicker at her dainty teeth, and I chuckled.
"Well, you think you could help us with things that go boom?" I asked. Berry suddenly seemed to sober up right then and there.
"Of course!" she quickly replied. She reached up with a hoof to behind her head, pulled her small bow off, before placing it in the neck of a bottle. She shook it quickly, and before I could say anything she had slammed the Molotov Cocktail on the table. "You kiddies think you can do that?" she grinned. I felt a nudge on my leg.

"Nicely chosen." Inferno chuckled as we all went to find bottles of alcohol and rags. "Who's next?"

"Right," I began. Everypony had gathered into a line. "We've got the bomb-maker, the Pyromaniac, the Moon goddess, the full-speed distraction, the Pain Train, and the stealthy bastard. Who's missing?"
"Close range tank?" Inferno asked, raising a hoof. We all stopped, and spoke simultaneously.
"Big Macintosh."