I told you to go right

Finally, after several ~~visits to the Mann Co. Store to buy buckets of black paint and keys~~ hours of sitting in a stuffy room, with nothing but the fumes emanating from the black paint and the Afterburner to keep me company, I had removed the Blueblood crest from the rifle welded to the flamethrower. However, I had also managed to somehow get spare metal from PAINTING, which was possibly the most ridiculous thing that had happened since Monday. Deciding against going downstairs and hitting somepony with the metal, I stuck it in a drawer, and hefted the Afterburner. Now I had painted it black in places, I stuck it near a window-sill and left it to dry in Celestia's sun. Pleased I had wasted enough time, I began to trot downst-
SMASH
Glass spattered everywhere, some fragments lodging themselves in my hoof, causing me to yell in pain and fall over. To be honest, it was one of those months where physics was an absolute dick to me. Lying sideways on the wooden floor, probably on some exceedingly painful shards of glass, I could make out the image of me lying directly opposite, wincing in pain, just like I was. I realised I was looking in the mirror.

Was I?

"Sup..." the other me groaned, clutching his side. I blinked away the dust from my eyes.
"Errrm...hi?" I replied cautiously, standing up shakily. I could really feel the glass digging into my hooves, pressing painfully and preventing me from putting any weight on my right foreleg, and left hind-leg. My clone was getting up, when there was the loud scrambling of hooves coming up the stairs. Fire was the first one up, easily detected by the fact he was wearing my skull-hat proudly on his head as though it were a status symbol. A status symbol originally belonging to me, that is.
"The hell happened here?" he boomed. "And who the hell is this joker? Which one's the real Thunder?"
"I am. This guy just flew through the damn window." I groaned. My clone nodded, something I didn't expect.
"Yep." he sighed, rubbing his temple with a hoof. A trickle of blood was coming from his hair. "First thing I can remember is appearing in front of that Discord guy. He started to explain that he wanted me to get rid of you so that I could 'spread mayhem and chaos' in your image. So, I assumed that he wanted me to kill you, and I'm not really in the mood to kill anypony. Plus, he started laughing about 'how I'm as ugly as the original'."
"What's going o-OK, why are there two of my coltfriend?" Luna asked. She looked kind of confused, kind of neutral, mostly pleased, and was pulling a strangely seductive face.
"He's a clone." I sighed, pointing at the other me.
"That I am." he agreed, raising a hoof.
"Well, you're just as handsome." Luna smiled. He smiled back, and winked.
"Standing right here..." I muttered, rolling my eyes.
"I guess you'll be the stand-in for when the original Thunder's ill." she beamed, before moving over and hugging him. He returned the hug, before moving a hoof to her flanks. Luna nuzzled him even more.
"Prick." I groaned. "Where's Inferno?"
"Mopping it up." Fire said.
"Ugh. Where's Ebony?"
"Disappeared in a flash of golden light for obvious reasons."
"Solar?"
"Don't even fucking go there."
"You know, I have every intent to just go to sleep and never wake up again right now." I groaned, facehoofing. "There's a clone of me being perverted towards my marefriend, Inferno's downstairs mopping up his own bodily fluids, Solar's out doing dreadful things, Ebony is probably having sex with a sun goddess, Sky's...?"
"Left."
"To where? Where the FUCK could be more interesting than here?!"
"Canterlot."
"Oh, this is BULLSHIT." I yelled in frustration, before stomping over and grabbing the Afterburner, before bitch-slapping my clone. "YOU. HELP US."
"What?! But...I...ugh, shit." The clone rubbed the side of his face, drooped his shoulders, and nodded. "When can I get a weapon?"
"Find one yourself, Discord turned my AWP into bloody summer fruits." I replied angrily, before turning to everypony else in the room. "Arm up, we're gonna go kill a chaos god." Fire, being the one who would enjoy this sort of thing, saluted, and disappeared to his room in a cartoonish dust cloud. He returned seconds later, wearing the armour from the Terry Incident, plus a Griffonian Football helmet.
"YEAH, I'M FUCKIN' PUMPED BITCHES!" he yelled, jogging on the spot and gradually eroding the floor away with his spiked steel boots. "LET'S ALL GO BLAZE UP THE FIRE TRAIL!"
"ALL ABOARD THE COLE TRAIN, BABY!" I yelled back, getting into the mood. My clone raised the flash grenade I had forgotten existed, and he pulled out the other grenade from the box.
"THUNDER GOES BOOM, MOTHA-FUCKAS!" he screamed. Luna was sort of staring at us like we'd gone crazy. We were interuppted by the sound of tiny hoofsteps coming up the stairs. Inferno appeared, wearing an iron helmet. He clearly hadn't bothered to clean it: I could see the tiny flakes of rust crumbling off the aged metal.
"I cleaned it up!" he cheered, pumping a hoof. "And plus, just so I'm not left out, A CLOUD'S HEADED FOR CANTERLOT, AND THAT CLOUD IS THE INFERNO CLOUD, BITCHES!"
"Errm...OK?" Luna muttered, before a blue sword appeared, levitated in her aura. "Let's do this." We all stopped, and glared at her. She looked confused, before she finally understood. "Damn it, fine. Ahem, hold on...right. LET'S SEND THAT MOTHA-FUCKA INTO ETERNAL NIGHT, BITCHES!" We cheered, waving our weapons around.
"COLE TRAIN, BABY!" I whooped, shaking the Afterburner Pyro style.