I told you to go right

"I'm cold." I muttered for the fourth time.
"I bet you are, but tough love, baby." Luna smirked back. "I don't think we're leaving until 'Terry' is dead."
"Why do we need to kill him again..?" I asked, stepping over a small rock.
"Because," Luna groaned, "If we don't get rid of him NOW, he'll come back LATER, maybe even during a Diplomatic meeting."
"Well, that's good reasoning." I smiled. "But still: from what I can reme-PREDICT, Changelings might attack the Royal Wedding in a few months. If he comes back then, it'll be more impressive, and you'll gain public trust." Luna stopped, considering, before closing her eyes and smiling as she walked on.
"Nah." she grinned. "Bloody pikeys ain't touchin' that weddin'. They also ain't capturin' the bloody points, either." I practically had an orgasm right then, just for the fact that somepony as hot as Luna was referencing everybody's favourite Australian Marksman.
"W-Woah..." I stuttered, blinking my stunned thoughts away. "Did y-you just...?"
"Yes, I did." she giggled, doing a few small hops over some rocks. "If I can remember, 'The Sniper', was it?"
"Damn right it is." I nodded. "Bend over now. That was too damn hot. Bend over."
"Later. Now where was I? Ah yes! Here ve are." Luna replied, gesturing to a large chasm in the ground, containing some visible ores (An Ore-Chasm, hurdy hur. :D). "I'll drop the accent now. Terry should come from down here."
"Yeah, he will." I nodded. "What're we going to do for weapons?" Luna suddenly froze at my comment, and stared at me with a worried expression.
"...weapons...?" she whimpered.
"I mean, I know you said you could kill him with magic, but..."
"W-Well, I wasn't thinking right then. Would you have needed weapons to kill him in your world's version?"
"Hell yes you would've." I sharply replied. "Since it was a game involving leveling up, you'd have to be the highest level just to stand a chance. Need I say, that guns at level 50 do roughly 10,000 damage per shot, if you have a decent weapon. Even that wouldn't scratch him."
"Oohh...shit." Luna murmured. We looked at each other, then at the hole. "Leave?"
"Ye-"
Rumbling noise!

"OH COME ON THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT."

Meanwhile, inside Thunder's brain...

"Cap'n! Large object approachin' from below!"
"Aye!"
"Fuck off you two, I'm drunk."
"But cap'n! She cannae take any more pre-"
"FINISH THAT LINE AND I'LL FUCKIN' BOTTLE YE."
"Um..."
-door creak-
"The captain's a traitor!"
-BLAM-
INNOCENTS WIN
"Aaaaaaaayyyy! Nice shot!"
"How did you know?"
"I saw his DNA on Logic's body. Plus, I got his Deagle."

"OK, let's change map."

"FLY! FLY AWAY!" Luna screamed. Both of us frantically began to flap our wings in an attempt to escape Terry. It was easy to see where we needed to go, our target lit up by bright orange lights surrounding the castle. Plus, the fact that Equestria was a cartoon made it incredibly easy to see when we were about to hit each other due to our brilliant white pupils. "JUST FLY!"
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?!" I shouted back. The loud sound of Terry's arrival blew up behind us, and not even a few seconds later bright orange lasers were flying past us. "SHIT, LASERS!"
"FLY FASTER!"
"I CAN'T FLY FASTER THAN BLOODY LASERS!"
"TRY!"
"USE MAGIC!"
"WE'RE GOING TOO FAST!"
"THEN WE NEED TO LAND!"
"WHY ARE WE YELLING EVEN THOUGH WE'RE ONLY 2 FOOT AWAY FROM EACH OTHER?"
"I don't know. But let's try and get to the mountain peak. With any luck, Terry can't get us, then we can land and teleport out of here."
"Sounds like a plan! Let's go!"
Immediately, we both performed evasive loops upward, before rolling over the golden beam and flying towards the mountain top. I could see that it was flat at the top, but only 5 foot wide. We'd barely have room on top of it, but that also meant Terry couldn't fit there. Knowing safety wasn't far away, I put on a burst of speed, and felt the beginnings of a speed cone forming at my forehooves. Any faster, and something would happen. Suddenly, as though it were some scripted set-piece, there was a sharp pain in my right wing as a massive shard of rock tore a neat hole through it.

"I was SO DAMN CLOSE!" I shouted, before crying out in pain. I flapped my injured wing even faster to compensate for the damge sustained, and barely even made it to the platform edge. I could already feel the blood cascading down my side, along with my vision beginning to darken around the edges. "So...damned...close..." Just then, my conciousness fucked off to go do something else, and for around the 5000000000th time since I came to Equestria, I passed out.

"Gnnfrgth...." I mumbled. Everything was white. I snapped my eyes open. "Aw, son of a fuck. I'm dead." Standing up, I began to peer around the endless expanse of...WHITENESS. "This is just bullshit. And I never even got to send Gaben an e-mail. Hello? God? You home?"
"Yes, Thunder Mustang. I am home." a heavenly (ha-ha, death joke) voice replied. Turning around, I came face to face with a look-a-like of Princess Celestia. However, rather than the ethereal mane, it seemed to remind me of...oh god, are you kidding me? "I am Faust: creator of all."
"Oh my god, how cliché." I groaned. "I don't know what I expected. Morgan Freeman? Jesus? Chuck Norris? Fuck."
"Hmmph." 'Faust' grunted. "Well, since you're clinically dead, and highly likely to be revived within the next few minutes, I'll give you some information you'll need for later."
"Wait, why?" I asked. "Wouldn't that create a paradox or some shit?"
"No, I'm Faust, I do as I please." she smiled. "As I was saying, before you stands answers. Fire away."
"Erm...ok?" I cleared my throat. "What's going to happen at the wedding?"
"Changeling apocalypse. And, from what I can tell, there'll be a battle. A bloody battle."
"Huh, I've had enough of battles. That's irritating."
"Wherever you and humankind goes, you bring fighting. Don't tell me you haven't heard that one before?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
"Good. Now, what other questions do you have?"
"How will I die? The second time, I mean?" Faust looked up into her head, before looking back.
"I don't know, actually. Just think of something you'd consider awesome and hope that happens."
"Right then. Hmm...final thing, why is Pinkie Pie so random?"
"Like I'd know that. Nopony knows. Is that all?"
"Ye-no wait, NO. Will any more human equipment be found in the future?"
"Hmm...yes, I think so. They should appear in the order; computer, TV, nuclear reactors, CD printing, gaming consoles, and I think a few cars. But maybe I'm exaggerating."
"Well, if you're not, Equestria could be like Earth in years to come. That's bad."
"Yes. Now if you don't mind, you have to be killed here to put you back on Equis." As the last syllable left her lips, there was the sound of a TF2 Spy uncloaking. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned around to see, for the first time in a year, a human. It was a Spy, so not good, but I was satisfied.
"Gentlemen?" I felt a knife go in my back, then fell over and died. Then Faust turned out to be a RED Spy, and I last saw him running off carrying the BLU Intel on his back.
"MEDIC." I shouted for no reason.
-----------------------------------------------
"3, 2, 1, CLEAR!"
"C'mon, Thunder, WAKE UP!"
"He's dead, Solar! It'll take a miracle to wake him up!
"I got a pulse!"
"Oh thank Faust he's alive!"
"Hang in there, buddy!"
"He's breathing! Good Faust, how'd that happen?!"
"He's unnatural! Nopony can revive like that!"
"Well, he's a bit different."
"Damn that monster! When I get my hooves on him-!"
"Rainbow, calm down, we can kill that asshole later. Right now, we just need to make sure Thunder's OK."
"...OK, Twi. Gotcha."
"I do hope our friend awakens soon."
"Woah, who the fuck are you?"
"Who I am is of no concern of you, Mister Fire Trail, but my intent is more so."
"...you're the G-Stallion."
"That is correct, Miss Sparkle, but-"
"OK, I'm good." I finally said. I opened my eyes faster than expected, and sat up as though nothing had happened. Practically the entirety of the room's residents had a heart attack at my intrusion. The shock was replaced with smiles, and my ribs were replaced by fine powder from all the hugs and cheering. Finally, mouth died due to an excessively intrusive kiss from Luna. "Jesus, calm down guys," I laughed. "I was just dead, 's all."