I told you to go right

The sound of a crackling fire, with the occasional sound of a newspaper page turning was the only sound in the Royal Living Room. A few times, Celestia sighed, and adjusted her glasses. Lying on top of me (as usual) was Luna, sleeping on her adorable little belly as she lay sideways on my back, twitching occasionally, or shifting all her weight onto one segment of my back. I was mostly surprised that Doktor had added the capability of easy removal of the iron wings, let alone added them, otherwise Luna would be lying under me. And, lying at the front of the chair on the floor, was a curled up Nightmare, sleeping in front of the fireplace. Celestia still gave her the evil eye, but had gotten used to the misty mare. I was surprised Celestia would be awake: it was 12PM.
I, meanwhile, was stripping all of my weapons on a mat, cleaning them, and reassembling them. The metal-on-metal made clinking quietly ring through the room. Ebony was sleeping somewhere, I don't know. Those who weren't in relationships with some of the finest mares alive were elsewhere in the castle, with the Elements. I sighed as I found the AWP blockage, which prompted Celestia to look up with a slightly inquisitive but mostly bored expression on her face.
"Problem?" she asked. I waved a dismissive hoof.
"Ah, it's just a piece of dead Changeling was blocking the operation of my rifle. I just need to lever it out, nothing you'd understand, Celly." I heard a newspaper rustle, then silence, with only the crackling of fire and light snoring from the two mares to break it.
Whap.
I felt a rolled up newspaper smack me on the back of the head. It didn't hurt, it was like you would do with a dog. I looked over at Celestia, who was glaring and smirking at me.
"Don't call me that, or imply that I wouldn't understand something." she huffed, unfurling the paper. "Because I'll hit you with the news."
"Don't hit me with a newspaper." I shot back, looking down the detached rifle barrel for any loss of the rifling. "Because I'll stab you with a crowbar."
Whap. Whap.
"You're like a dog." Celestia giggled, before throwing the newspaper across the room. "Fetch." I frowned, and rolled my eyes.
"Nope." I grunted. I considered throwing a spanner across the room, and telling her to fetch, but then that'd get me mind-controlled or something. But, Celestia's death glare won in the end, and I sighed as I took Luna off my back, rested her on the chair, and trudged over. Before I could pick it up with a hoof, Celestia interjected.
"Ah ah ah." she said. I looked over, and she was resting her smirking head on her foreleg in the classic 'draw me like one of your French fillies' position. "With your mouth."
I looked at her in tiredness. "But I can use my hoo-"
"With your mouth." I tried arguing back, but then the glare won again. With a sigh, I opened my mouth, craned my neck down, and wrapped my mouth over the sides of the newspaper. I picked it up, and trudged over to Celly with a frown. She smiled, and rubbed a white hoof in my mane. "Good boy. Now drop it."
Fflflfegh.
That is an accurate sound of the newspaper coming from my mouth. It landed on Celestia's floor in front of her. Smirking, she shuffled up in her chair, before patting an area in front of her. "Sit." My eyes went wide, and I quickly looked to Luna. She was asleep, and most likely would be for hours. I swallowed hard and looked back at Celly. I made a point towards Luna, and Celestia rolled her eyes, before igniting her horn. I felt myself being lifted up, before being laid down on my side in front of her. I had no say in this, so this would most likely be rape. I shrank slightly.
"Please don't rape me...?" I squeaked out. Instead of answering, I felt another weight on top of me: it was large, fluffy, and had wings. I flicked my eyes up, to see that Luna was now being laid on top, followed by Nightmare.
"No, I don't plan to rape you." Celestia sighed. "I just need warmth: Ebony's asleep and the fire heat doesn't reach here. So I'm using you, my little brony, as a source of warmth." I looked up at Luna and Nightmare on top.
"And these two?" I asked, still scared she would rape me. I felt a lot warmer, yes, but what was Celestia really planning?
"These two are here to keep YOU warm. So, it's like a cycle: You keep me warm, I keep you warm with Lulu, Nightmare keeps Lulu warm, and Nightmare doesn't need warmth, because she's cold-hearted."
"Would you mind not insulting her?" I asked politely, pushing myself out from under and next to the mares. Celestia frowned at the comment. "She's quite nice when you get to know her, as it turns out."
"Actually, she possessed my sister as an evil spirit, before trying to kill you, my student, the Elements, your friends, AND plunge the entirety of Equestria." Celestia retorted, climbing out from the pile of her sister and a misty entity that was adorable, sexy, and weighed nothing. She stood to her full height, and looked down at me with a steely glare. Now, if I was the stallion I was when I first arrived, I would have broken down and cried. But, being insane, an assassin, and hardened from almost a year of shit, I glared back. "She's messed with Luna's mind, and your mind, by even existing in them."
"She hasn't messed with my mind." I shot back. "If she'd have begun controlling my mind, I'd turn into what Luna turned into when SHE was possessed."
"Well, I can't allow that to happen, especially not when the wedding is tomorrow."
"Well-"
SLAP
I felt a sharp sting on my snout, and, unsurprisingly, Celestia had slapped me that casually. "SNAP OUT OF IT." she said firmly. In reply, I reached up a hoof, and issued a slap of my own.
"STOP HITTING ME." I said firmly. We both narrowed our eyes, and Celestia struck first.
SLAP
SLAP
SLAP
SLAP
SLAP
SLAPSLAP
SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP
SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP
Moments later we were both staggering for balance. I was seeing stars, and Celestia seemed to be, too. After about 5 minutes of aimlessly staggering, we looked at each other. "Yeah." Celestia panted. "I think we're even."
"Aye." I gasped for breath. My face was feeling hot from the slappings, and I was still stunned. The only noise, besides our heavy breathing, was the light snoring, and light crackling of the fire. "Right now, I feel like sleeping. Right here. Right now."
"Well then, I can help with that." Celestia smiled, and began to lift me up onto the chair I was lying on. Next, she lay Luna and Nightmare right next to me. I felt a lot warmer, and the chair seemed to be more comfortable than the bed. I looked up at Celestia.
"Thank you." I smiled back. She gave a wink, and left the room.

I awoke to the feeling of something glomphing my mouth. I snapped my eyes open, and saw Nightmare's eyes staring back, so I added my part to the kiss. My tongue wrapped around her ethereal one, and we both pretty much made out the moment we woke up. We carried on for about 10 minutes, before we both finished.
"Morning, Moony." I said. She ran a hoof down my neck.
"Morning." she whispered. "The wedding's today, and I'm going to be keeping you company inside your head."
"That's good." I replied, wrapping my forelegs around her. "I might need help if there's an attack."
"Well, I'll come in handy then. Now, you go collect your wings, get your suit, and put your guns together. I'll just quickly possess you, and we can get going." Promptly, she went into my mouth and nostrils, the image of her cutie mark appeared in my vision for a moment, before it cleared up.
Off we go.