I told you to go right

I ran alongside the others as we entered the streets. It was crowded with ponies all fleeing as the Changelings tore down from the sky like shitty ODST cosplayers, and slammed into the floor to do their buggy shit. Twilight was at the helm, as usual, and for once we were all back together again. Except Ebony, who I saw being strung up in a Changeling rape pod with Celestia. It's be good for him once Celestia woke up and was pressed right into him, but right now he was down, and we had no means of slaughter besides things that would make the Geneva convention arrest me, as usual.

"OK, guys, here's the plan!" Twilight shouted back over the buzzing and screaming and explosions. "We head to the Hall of the Elements, 'cause they're our only hope right now! But the door'll be locked and can only be opened by Celestia, so we'll need Thunder to get one of his new allies to break it down! We get the Elements, fight our way back, and stop the Changelings once and for all! We clear, guys?"

"Yeah!" was the simultaneous reply. Just then, a Changeling fucked himself over by slamming down right in front of us. It let out a screech, and stood up, trying to intimidate us, but this is the funny bit. Frustrated, and sick of all their shit, I assume, Twilight yelled her head off and blasted his head into dog food, before running off again in the direction of the hall. I smirked. Looks like I'm not the only one with sanity or lack thereof.

"Bloody hell, you're awful!" Bush snorted down the mic. In the background, a crack could be heard, as well as the sound of a Bowie knife slicing through chitin. "Nice try, mate, but I'm the best!" I smirked at his quoting. But just before I could reply, something caught my eye. A shop, filled with 'Personal Defense Weapons'.

Guns, basically.

I laughed. "Guys, check it out!" I hefted a piece of broken stone and threw it right at the window, smashing it. The others stopped, before getting the idea and running over. Rarity seemed hesitant, although Fluttershy was already packing a Dhoenix in each hoof and a slightly psychotic grin.

"Oh, hohohoooo!" Sky chuckled, picking up an assault rifle. "Fuck, this'll be fun!"

"Thunder!" Rarity said angrily. "This is no time for looting, let alone shooting! I refuse to partake in such vulgar acts!" She held her head high and frowned. I snarled, picked up a shotgun, and offered it to her.

"Take the gun." I growled. "NOW." She glared at me.

"No." she said firmly, stomping a hoof. I laughed to myself.

"Ahahaha, ahhhh, it wasn't a question." I replied. "Take the bloody shotgun. Put fucking glitter and ribbons on it, for all I bloody care, prettify this shit, but FUCKING TAKE IT."

"Oh, Thunder, it wasn't an option for you to ask again." Rarity shot back, glaring at me. "I refuse to partake in such violent acts, especially under YOUR guidance! You'd have us trying to kill foals if you could!"

"No, that's only on Mondays, NOW TAKE THIS FUCKING SHOTGUN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU." I flared out my sentry wings for more emphasis, both making the bleep noise and aiming lasers at her forehead. It worked, as she emitted a nervous giggle and cowered, taking the weapon in her magical grasp. I smirked triumphantly, and span Flip in my hoof idly. Skipped Beat was arming himself with high ammo, high fire rate SMGs, which was bloody incredible that it was publicly for sale. I would bring it up later with some Parliamentarians that helped make gun laws, or lack thereof. Twilight was carrying some smooth looking throwing knives. I trotted over and smirked.

"Thought you didn't like human ways of sorting things out?" I laughed. She rolled her eyes, and chuckled.

"Well, it works, yes?"

"Yes, it does."

"How well?"

"Too well."

"Good."

"Yup."

"Nice conversation."

"Likewise. INFERNO!" I said sharply. The small Pegasus was in front of me quickly, mock-saluting. "In the bag over my wings there should be a compartment labelled 'Rage-Mode'. Get out the bandana and Cellyban sunglasses." I felt my bag being opened, and said items being removed and placed in my waiting hoof. "Danke." I replied, tying the bandana over my snout and holding the Cellybans in the other hoof.

"What now?" Twilight asked as we gathered around.

"Let's go kill some hippies!" I snorted, putting the sunglasses on and holding a shotgun over my head. We all roared, and charged down the road. It was too quiet in the area, so we went faster in case it got quieter. Just as we reached the corner to the 'Harmony Lane', we halted. Literally nothing could be heard.

"Guys," I whispered as we all crowded in one street corner. "Something's up. Twilight, peek your head around the corner, since you seem brave today."

"Fine." she grumbled, before peering around the corner. She relaxed, before looking back and rolling her eyes. "Cool it guys, there's just guards." Before anypony could walk out, I held a hoof out.

"Not likely." I snorted, before looking myself. There was a whole horde of guards, looking stoic. But, their one mistake was that two on the front row looked exactly the same, since they were BOTH Shining Armor. I knew he was derped up on mind-control in the wedding hall, so they failed there. I cocked my shotgun, before going over the mic.

"Guys, shit's happened here. There's thousands of Changelings."

"Ya don't fuckin' say?!" Six yelled, as the sound of a submachine gun firing was heard in the background. "We've got these, deal with 'em yerself!" The radio cut out, before Rock took over.

"Tell Rock where tiny bug cowards hide! I will kill them with Dmitri's power!" he shouted.

"We're near the entrance to the Harmony Hall!" I whispered. "There's thousands of disguised Changelings outside as guards, and we need help clearing the route to the Elements. Think you could blast their shit with Dmitri?"

"Da." replied a sudden voice. Literally seconds had passed and the Tigerian Tank was already here. After we had all recovered from cardiac arrest, we nodded. "We are here to crush cowards. Let us begin."

"OK." Rainbow said calmly. "I have a plan. If one of us serves as a distraction by going out and seeing what they do, we can all attack while they have no idea where we are. Sound good?"

"Good plan, Dashie!" Pinkie giggled, 'party/artillery' cannon in tow. "Wanna go kill those mother-fucking bitch-ass sons of whores right now?" We all went silent at the outburst. Rock just stared blankly.

"Da. Purple Smart and Thunder are distraction, because are couple, da?" Twilight and I had our ears prick up.

"Ah, no, sorry, I'm with Inferno here." Twilight said quickly, blushing. "Not Thunder."

"Njet, is mistake, Rock is sorry, Purple Smart. Thunder go alone now." Before I could say anything, I was shoved out, and dumped in the middle of the road. Immediately hundreds of eyes stared at me. I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and looked back at them.

"'Sup, faggots?" I asked calmly. Sure enough, they replied.

"Citizen!" one 'guard' boomed, stepping forward. "Place your weapon on the floor and get down on the ground!"

"Nah, I'm fine." I replied casually. "Nice offer though. I'm here to pick up the Elements, y'know, to stop your shitty queen 'n' stuff? So, if you'd move, that'd be cool, Kay?"

"You do not order around the Captain of the Royal Guard, citizen!" 'Shining Armor' shouted. "Surrender your weapon!"

"I said no, I won't give you my Strange Shotgun for free, sod off, you Free-to-Play bitch." I called back, and I began approaching. Green magic was charged, and that was all I needed.

"Guys, let's fuck 'em up!" I yelled back. A split-second later and Rock charged out, ROCKET FUCKING JUMPED, and fired 3 missiles at the Changelings. They immediately exploded, and that's when shit began to fuck up.

Well, for me.

As usual.

God, why couldn't I just have a day of Luna's ass?