Friendship+Magic=Total Crap

"Again, I am so so sorry!"

After consoling the poor mare, she finally agreed to settle down on a small couch while I made her a cup of hot tea.

"W-whats your n-name mister? I mean if y-you don't mind me asking." she added, with trembling hooves threatening to drop the cup of hot tea she was holding. Chamomile for those who are wondering.

"Oh my names Greenlight. I came from a small country called A-mare-ica. A nice little place, but we have a bit of a weight problem." I added, hoping she wouldn't catch on to the lie.

"Oh that sounds terrible! I d-don't mean that the country is bad just the ponies! I mean not the ponies b-but ... b-but. Eeep!" With a nervous little squeal, she dropped the cup of hot tea and hid behind a small red cushion. "I-im so sorry I didn't to call you mean to call you a bad p-pony!"

*cough* "Well anyway." I said, desperate for something to help distract the sniffling mare. "I noticed you have butterflies for a cutie mark. What exactly is your talent?"

Finally putting down her cushion, she looked at me with a small smile. "W-well my talent is taking of care of animals. Growing up, I always thought that my talent had something to do with flying. But after a small incident at flight school, I learned that I belonged down here with all the cute, little critters." she finished, looking at me with a small blush on her yellow snout. "Why do you ask?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I turned to show my flank and the small the cutie mark that sat on it. "My uh dad bought me a little puppy when I was just a colt. As soon as I saw Max, I knew exactly what I wanted to be." It wasn't entirely a lie. I did have a dog named Max.

"Oh my! Thats just so amazingly wonderful!" she squeed, with her a wide smile growing wider on her face. " I've never met a pony that shares the same interests as me! I'm always stuck caring for the animals all by myself, and it would be wonderful if I had a big, strong *cough cough cough* "

Mid sentence and Fluttershy had suddenly started coughing, as she tried to cover her furiously blushing face with her hooves. "I m-mean I would appreciate a-another h-helping hoof. If y-you d-don't mind that is!"

"Well I could use a place to st-

"You could stay here! Uh i mean, I do have a spare room. If y-you want to use it that is." She added, deflated at the possibility that she had ruined her chances with a stallion that shared a similar interest with her.

"Actually, I would really appreciate it." I responded, happy at the sudden turn of events.

"Yay! *cough*uh I meanletmegetyouablanket!" In a single breathe, she spat out the entire sentence before speeding off into the next room.

It was pretty obvious to anyone that came by to visit that she adored animals. Everything around the house was built specifically for a certain animals needs. Birdhouses hung from the ceiling, small walkways led to holes in the wall which, I assumed, was meant to accommodate mice, and even a few litter boxes for the occasional stray. It really made me respect the passion she had for the career she had chosen. I wish I felt the same way about something back at home. I thought, looking at masterfully crafted bird feeders that adorned the walls. The work spent putting this place together must have been staggering!

CRASH!

"Are you okay over there Fluttershy!?" I called, worried about my temporary little landlord. "Do you need any help?"

Edging over to the entrance of the guest room, I could hear something moving around heavy furniture.

"Flutters?" looking through the doorway, I saw the pony dragging pieces of a destroyed bed and throwing them outside through a window. "Greenlight I'm so sorry! I forgot that Rainbow Dash ruined the bed from our last sleep over!" she responded, kicking the last bits of a ruined bed through the window. "It looks l-like you'll have to find another bed to sleep in! Hehehehe."

"Than where am I gonna sleep?" I asked, following Fluttershy to a small set of stairs.

"W-well you could s-sleep with m-me. N-not sleep with m-me but lay in bed with me i-in a non sexual way! W-wouldn't that b-be fun? We c-could have a s-sleep over!" She exclaimed, a little to loudly.

"Sure." I answered, trying, and failing to scratch in itch on my back.

"R-really?"

"Yeah. It's not really a big deal. Just don't try anything funny okay?" But my demands went unheeded as a smile, quite literally, exploded onto her snout.

"Yay!" she squeed, taking my hoof. "This will be much so much fun! We can talk about bears, and kitties, and puppies and so many other animals!"

While she pulled me up the stairs, I noticed a small, angry looking bunny, giving me a nasty glare. "Hey little buddy." but my waving hoof was only met with a small, white paw slowly crossing his throat as a warning of my impending doom.

"Oh don't worry about Angel. He can be really nice if he gets to know you." Fluttershy said as she tugged me through the door way. "Could you get a blanket out the closet?"

"Sure." I made my way to a small set of blue doors and pulled open. Pulling out a soft, green blanket with my mouth, I turned to see a something I wouldn't soon forget. Fluttershy laying on her bed in seductive position, akin to that of a french girl waiting to be painted.

"Fluttershy what are you doing?" I asked, spitting out the blanket.

"I'm not doing anything.....Yet." she whispered, stroking her leg in an effort to seduce her guest.

"Or! Or...We could perform a certain ritual ponies from my country used to do." I said, mimicking her seductive tone. Putting on the best strut I could manage, I made my way to bed and pushed Fluttershy on her back. "Now move yourself to That side of the bed." I said pointing a hoof the opposite end of the bed.

"W-what are you gonna do" She asked, scooting herself the other end.

"Oh you'll see." I answered, gathering pillows together on the bed. "Are you ready Flutters?"

"Y-Yes?" She replied, curious about the situation at hand. The whole time I tried my best to keep a serious look on my face, as the mare that had tried to seduce me watched in wonder, and eventually shock, as I began to build an "impenetrable" wall of pillows.

"W-what are you doing?" She asked, hidden from sight by the wall of pillows. "I-i thought we were g-going to do something....Special."

"What? Don't you know that a night without physical contact is a special way to bond? We could just spend all night talking! Doesn't that sound fun?" I replied nonchalantly, as I finished up the last of my makeshift wall. "Perfect! Goodnight Flutters." I called, covering my self with the soft, green blanket.

"But..But...." She squeaked, desperate for something that could sway this odd stallions mind. "Could I at least hold your hoof?"

*sigh* "Fine. But mom won't be happy about this!" I surrendered, sliding my hoof underneath the wall only to have it ensnared in a ball of fur.

"Yay!" Fluttershy squealed, rubbing her face against my hoof in a creepy fit of...Ecstasy?

"Goodnight Flutters." I mumbled, disgusted at this mares appetite for physical contact.

"Goodnight Greenlight."

Letting out a massive yawn, I finally let myself drift off to sleep under the soft blanket, and the warmth it offered.

The Next Morning...

"G-Greenlight I'm sorry!" Fluttershy called from her doorstep. "Please don't be mad at me!"

Last night wasn't exactly the worst sleepover I've ever had, but waking up next to a "clopping" mare tends to put it at the top of the list. I did manage to fall back asleep afterwards, but the image had been burned into my mind. It's not something I want to share. So after a short talk and a bit of help, I had Fluttershy point me in the direction of the nearest town.

My esca- uh i mean journey to Ponyville began shortly afterwards.

Meanwhile

Trixie's journey had taken a turn from unpleasant to ATROCIOUS! To think that somepony as wonderful and amazing as Trixie would be forced to come back to this sorry excuse of a town!

After a several bad shows, ranging from Baltimare to Saddle Arabia, Trixie had grown desperate for another show to put herself back over the top. And, after the debacle that occurred in her previous visit to Ponyville, she couldn't afford another failure or she would surely fade into obscurity. NO! Trixie refuses to let that happen! Trixie IS and WILL BE the greatest magician in Equestrian history! Maybe if Trixie could get that handsome, red stallion to-

BAM!

Unaware of her surroundings, due to her lusty little day dreams, Trixie had unknowingly wandered into the path of a brown stallion, who seemed to be in quite a hurry.

"OW! What the fuck lady!" The brown stallion hissed, dragging himself out of dirt. "Watch where you're going! Goddamn kids these days."

"LADY!? I am the Great and Powerful TRIXIE! Why don't YOU watch where you're going!?" Trixie snarled, draping her cape across her back, with a light blue glow from her horn. *sigh* "As much as Trixie would like to sit talk to lowly peasants, she must get to Ponyville soon if she wishes to make it to Canterlot by tonight."

"LOWLY PEASANT!? Bitch I just got a record deal! I'm about to blow UP!" The brown stallion replied, waving his arms in the air as a gesture of an explosion. Wow. This stallion is almost as egotistical as Trixie is.

"As if! Now get out of the way! Trixie is in a hurry and she does not want to spend anytime in Ponyville." Pushing the stallion out of the way, she found her hat in a bush a few feet from the cart.

"Ponyville? Mind if I tag along?" The stallion asked, as he watched Trixie dust off her hat.

"Tag along with Trixie? Ha! Trixie will already have to deal with enough trash in Ponyville, and she does not need some loser following her around." She answered, putting her hat back on her head.

"I thought you were the great and powerful. All great and powerful people have groupies."

"I am!" Trixie replied, pulling herself back up on the cart." Trixie just doesn't want a bunch of useless ponies following her around all the time!"

"So you're saying you've NEVER an assistant? And here I thought I was talking to somepony great and powerfull." Looking back at the pitiful stallion, Trixie noticed the smug smile he had on his face. He does have a point. Trixie has never had an assistant before. And SHE has an assistant.

"Oh well. Your loss." The stallion called, walking away while he whistled a tune.

"WAIT!" Trixie called, stopping the stallion dead in his tracks. " Just this once, Trixie will allow you to bask in her glorious presence. Okay? Just try and make yourself useful."

"Deal! So what do you need me to do boss?" The stallion asked, looking up at a facehoofing Trixie.

"Simple. Trixie needs you to pull her cart into town." She answered, pointing a hoof down at her beloved cart. "If Trixie sees any scratches, you will pay for them. Got it"

"Y-yeah." The stallion answered, looking at the rough, dirt road that lead to their destination.

"Good!" Trixie exclaimed, throwing a set of ropes and chains to the ground. " Here are the reins and the harness. Tie yourself up to cart and get to work. Trixie has a lot of beauty sleep to catch up on and she does NOT want to be disturbed."

She finished, as she opened a door that led inside the cart.

"Do I get payed?" The brown stallion called out, but much to his displeasure, Trixie answered the question by slamming the door to the cart. Looking down at the ropes and chains the mare had thrown to the ground, the stallion let out a small sigh in defeat and began to tediously tie himself to the cart. "This better be worth it. TRIXIE." The stallion added, spitting out the last name like it was poison.