WARNING: This chapter is extremely confusing. I still don't understand some of it. But bear with me, all will be explained soon. May cause headaches.

Man, Luna has such a kick ass room! The roof has that Harry Potter thing where you can see the sky, or whatever you wanted to project. The rest of the room is more basic then you would think, with a double queen size bed (blue), two bedside tables (blue), desk (black), and a saucy Rainbow Dash poster.

I should probably also note the cage in the corner. That I'm sitting in. With newspaper covering the floor. And it gets worse with Luna sitting on the outside trying to feed me little treats.

"Come on little squishy," Luna said, still using her new name for me, "Who wants a nice tasty sugar lump?"

Now I would like to tell her to go fuck herself, but due to those ten minutes of chest crushing I can't get enough breath to say anything.

"Oh I know what would cheer you up!" Oh this should be good. "How about I bring you your little toy you love so much?"

Before I can even move my head a blue flash reveals a certain rainbow coloured plastic spring.

Sup. How's the money moon?

I'm going to kill you. Just making it clear right now. As soon as I get back on my feet, you are dead.

You're still not that smart are you? And I'm getting tired of reminding you. I'm PLASTIC. Can't die. Now then, I need your help. There is-

And now he's being shaken up and down by Luna. "Who wants the slinky? Hmm? Who wants the pretty rainbow slinky?"

I, I, I think we'-we've bot-both had en-enough of t-this bit-bitch.

^\/^\/^\/^

Why is that voice so mean? I never did anything to hurt it. I wonder if all things here are like that. No, mom and dad are nice. But he's a big meanie.

But why is he a big meanie? Maybe he has bad parents. No. He's not alive. Then why does he have a voice?

Maybe he's evil. He might be just a big bully, and their are no bullies while I'm a princess. I'll make him pay. I'll show him not to be a bully!

Now where is mom? I'm hungry.

"WWWAAAHHHHH! WWWWAAAHHHH!"

"Hmm... Honey..." groaned Shining Armor from his sleep. "She's awake again. Your turn."

"Humph. I'm on it."

Almost as soon as Cadence got out of bed, the foal stopping screeching instantly. Giggling took place over the noise.

“This foal is going to lead to a lot of trouble.”

^\/^\/^\/^

After what seemed like hours, and most likely was, princess Luna finally went off to bed, giving me some time to think about what just happened.

First of all, I’m in Equestria. No doubt about that due to the pain. Secondly, I have a talking rainbow slinky, who I have wisely named Dick-waffle, that only I can hear. Thirdly, Cadence just had a fucking foal.

Right, staying calm, that’s what’s important here. I’m surround by ponies. Still calm, good. My Little Pony ponies. The only ponies to ever become famous and infamous. They talk, they have magic, I’m now the pet to one of their princesses.

Okay, that’s the facts I know down. Now the others thing. How did I get here? Luna had something to do with it. I’ll try to ask her in the morning, if I don’t get blasted through a wall again. Why did Cadence have a baby? Well, I guess that’s something I don’t want to think about.

Then stop thinking about it. Dirty bastard. And Headphone wonders where I get my sick jokes from?

Stay out of this! Next thing, why is my slinky talking? This never happened before, so why now?

Umm, something about that I want to-

Don’t wanna hear it. You’re just going to insult my intelligence some more. Or persuade me to come get you, and there is no way in hell I am doing that.

Yes, well, everybody has their fetishes. But this is not one of mine.

Well this does explain the saucy Rainbow Dash on the wall. And seeing as you are a rainbow slinky...

Please stop.

Stop talking and I will. Right, back to thinking. I’m surrounded by ponies. Why am I surrounded by ponies?

This is going to be a long night.

^\/^\/^\/^

Finally my little Squishy has fallen asleep. Now I wonder what dreams you have...?

Now this is interesting. It seems to be ponyville, but why is he her- Oh my. Is that Twilight? What is she...

“By the divines Twilight Sparkle! What could possess thou to act in such an uncouth manner?”

Wait, that’s not Twilight. Where is this? This isn’t ponyville! Sister?

Why hello dear Luna. Do you wish to know about this creature?

”Well, yes, but what are-” Hey! Where did this bond come from?

”Don’t worry Luna, we just ask for a simple favour.”

Luna cocked her head to the side in question. The Celestia that stood before her just smiled and turned around.

”Pleasure us dear sister.”

Luna went wide-eyed, her sister would never act this way. On closer looking, against her will of course, she noticed that this wasn’t Celestia, but somepony had looked a lot like her save for a pink mane.

As fun as this was to watch, I had better things to do. Such as find ‘Squishy’ and tell him about this new girl. So I left Luna and Celestia to it, revenge bitch, and bounced off into the void.

^\/^\/^\/^

Now where am I? This is not my crib, and wheres mom? I’m hungry!

...

She’s not here. What do I do? “Wh-what is going on?”

^\/^\/^\/^

“This is not boring. This is fun. I have so many friends. Look at all my friends” I say as I gesture to an empty room. “All my friends love me.”

The human faced Twilight beside me nodded, licking my pants as she went. My room was a big one. So pretty with christmas lights hanging from happy bunny heads, all illuminating my model built pre-school in the middle. The cobblestone floor made fart noises as I walked, causing human-faced Twilight to breath deeply of the stench.

“Now my friends, let us see our new students.” In the pre-school house model I had a good view of every room, each done up in a japanese style. In one room I could see Celestia and Luna taking Sex ED, in another was Skyla in combat training. Oh, and here comes her first challenger.

^\/^\/^\/^

Why is everything Japanese? I understand modern cultures influencing each other and such, but to the point of mind? That’s creepy. There better be something behind this door or I’m quitting, I can’t take this large a dose of Squishy’s dreams. Oh no.

”Oh, it’s a giant slinky. Are you here to take me home?”

“Oh my me, it’s you! The stupid bloody voice in my springs!”

”It is you! The disgraceful pile of, of, whatever you are who claims to be a god!”

“And you’re the prissy little princess that got shat out this afternoon. You don’t have anything on me.”

”Oh really?

Now she’s giving off a spark show with her horn. Well done misses no talent. That glow is getting pretty big. Really big. Oh shit.

*Poof*

...A banana? “That’s all you could come up with? A banana? Wow, you really are Celestia's Granddaughter, or great niece; in fact, how is Cadence related to Celestia anyway?”

”Yea, w-well. *Sniffle* Y-you can go... can go to the m-moon!”

Definitely a relative of Celestia’s. “Well, not like ruining your day isn’t fun, ‘cause it is, but I need to get going and find my pal. See you around.” I really hope I don’t run into her again.

^\/^\/^\/^

Pinkie looked up at the clock, twelve fifteen. She had work tomorrow and yet she couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t the usual reasons, like someones super special one hundred and sixty seventh birthday, or just sugar rush. Her Pinkie sense had been ringing since the sun fell, yet this was beyond what she had ever experienced. Even strangerer than that time with Twilight.

The shuddering slowly started again and the combo came through.

Itchy eyes, acky heart, silent brain, orgasem, blackout for three seconds. She needed to know what was going on, and there was only one way to do that.

Err, right.

^\/^\/^\/^

This was a game. A game that is fun. And I like playing games. All the characters run around by themselves. It’s like TV! Yay! I like it when the TV is on.

“Oh, hello. You’re that creature that Luna found, aren’t you?” said a curious, yet cautious voice.

I turn to find Pinkie. She’s a pony. One of the big ponies. She’s not in my game. Why is she here?

Oh, here comes Twi-man. I missed it. It is such a nice friend. I wonder if Pinkie can be a friend too?

“Wh-what is that?” Pinkie asked Twi-man. Pinkie didn’t look so pink anymore. “Umm, I think I’ll just be going now...”

Before Pinkie could leave, Twi-man used magic! Real magic! To lift Pinkie into the air and hover above the game. Now she’s shrinking! Cool! A new toy!

“Yay! More play time!”

^\/^\/^\/^

Well this is going nowhere. Every damn corner I turn there is either a door leading to another corner or a dead end. I’m getting quite sick of it. If only I could just- Ooof. Ow.

“Wow, that creepy looking Twilight is such a meanie. Good thing this spring was here to break my fall. Thanks springy!” said a overjoyous pink pony.

“No problem. Just get off me.” The pony gasped at my voice and jumped right off.

“WowYouCanTalkI’veNeverMeetASlinkyThatCanTalkOhThisIsSoCoolICan’tWaitToTellRainbowDashOhYou’reARainbowTooSoCanWeWorkTogetherAndGetOutOfHere?”

I don’t know how, but I understood most of that. “Umm, sure. Let’s just go then. Crazy bitch.”

We kept going through more pointless doors and hallways, getting us no closer to anything. I’m sure this is just pointless.

“Hey! Mister Spring! Mister Spring! This is kindaaa weird.”

Author's Note

DISCLAIMER: I did not break into Hasbro, blow up Canada, or rescue a sunken treasure to own the things in this story. In fact, I don't own them. They belong to their respectful owners.

Side note: Sorry for the horrible ending. I spent all night on this and it's thanks to Inrix, clearshot01, and Hollyhock that I stayed up and finished it. (More so Inrix then the others, sorry guys)

If you want to take a guess and write your own ending, feel free to do so in the comments. Also try to guess what happens next.