Coming To Terms With The Monster Within

Luna fell asleep the instant Celestia had left her room; she was exhausted after the entire ordeal. The azure mare was laying on her comfortable bed, caught up in a pleasant lucid dream, a skill which she had mastered many millenia ago, when the subtle swoosh of a teleportation spell roused her awake. As expected, it was the books she had asked her sister to get for her. On top of the stack was a slice of cake, a small fork, and a folded note that read:

“Dearest sister, I know you and I are both on our so-called ‘Royal Diet’, however I believe a little bit of indulgence is necessary in our hectic lives – especially now.

~ Love, Celestia”

The cake was amazing! Truly one of a kind! I must get the recipe from the royal cooks, Luna thought while comically rubbing her belly with a hoof. Unable to fall back asleep, she decided to get some reading done. In all, Celestia had acquired thirteen books, all of which were from a wide range of subjects, varying from what was now considered ancient Equestrian history to simple fictional stories. By the time that the sugar rush had worn off, Luna managed to get a good ways through a lengthy book detailing unicorn physiology.

Luna kicked her comfortable padded chair back underneath the desk and trotted to the balcony. The princess found it difficult to open the frozen, obsidian handle of the door, but, with some strain, she forced it open with her jaw, hitting her head against the glass sliding door in the process. Resultantly, Luna pulled back her neck and bite down, drawing the subtle taste of blood to her tongue. Damn it, the princess thought with her tongue lolling about outside of her mouth. It’ll heal by the sun’s next setting.

The princess stared out at the darkness – her darkness – wondering if a similar darkness would soon come to consume her. I’m stronger now. I can take care of myself. I am not a child. I will not be reduced to that again. Canterlot was desolate. Not a single light could be seen across the vast distance between the castle and the town, even from the princess’ incredible height. She had long since conquered her fear of heights, having mastered the art of flight, however Luna still felt the tingling in her belly every time she stepped hoof outside onto her balcony. The coolness of the wind chilled the tips of her ears and covered her concealed skin in goose bumps.

Luna endured the crisp, refreshing cold through sheer force of will, ignoring her body’s signs to return inside and bask in the warmth of the fireplace. No. She would not leave until her mind was clear of all self-doubt and worry. Her body purged itself of all thought, focusing only on keeping upright in the bone-numbing cold. With each breath that the princess exhaled she felt slightly better. As her cerulean eyes teared up at the corners, the princess stared up at her Moon with blurry vision, pondering about… nothing. Her mind was a blank slate, free from the crippling thoughts.

Noticing her mind in its cleared state, Luna sighed and turned to walk back inside her chambers. A dark, cerulean blob blurred her vision. For a moment, Luna saw the starry mane of Nightmare Moon. Her vision focused a moment later. Luna could see the spectral figure of the mare staring out at the city before her. Her soft, benevolent eyes were scanning the distance at a slow pace, as if she was inspecting something. To her side sat a smaller mare with her eyes closed and horn aglow. It was Luna from one thousand years ago.

The apparitional princess was slightly smaller than Luna was, but aside from that the two looked very dissimilar. Luna was somewhat groomed, and the ghostly Luna was disheveled looking and crying, though her body was not heaving nor shivering. “Come now, Luna. This happens every night. I will always be there for you.”

“I know, Moony. I’m just so happy to see you again. I… got so worried that you wouldn’t show up, I…” Luna looked down at her own hooves as her younger self did. Hers, unlike the ghost’s, were a solid expanse of blue. The apparition’s hooves were darkened with dried, crimson blood. “Cut myself. Again.” At this, the figure laughed weakly. Nightmare Moon had a look of horror on her face, with her eyes widened in shock.

“Luna… why?” Nightmare’s lips trembled, quivering at seeing her creator’s self-harming.

“I dunno.” Luna said innocently, “I just thought that you wouldn’t come back, and I got nervous, and when I get nervous I…” She could not finish her sentence before Nightmare Moon lifted her up into a tight embrace.

“Luna, promise me you’ll stop this nonsense. It’s… not normal.”

“Who are you to say what is normal and what is not?” Luna replied, earning a concerned look from her imaginary friend. “You’re not even real.”

“Luna, you know as well as I am that I am real. I even had a guard tell me that my rump looks… rather shapely.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you go on and tell him that you’re my toy. And I don’t like sharing.”

“Oh, my…” Nightmare’s cheeks darkened in a light, crimson glow, barely visible on her dark cheeks.

The vision faded as Luna could see her younger self tackle Nightmare Moon to the ground, covering her dark fur in wet kisses, starting at her neck and moving slowly down to her navel. Luna shook her head as the memory continued playing in her mind – the memory of going down on her imaginary friend, right there on the exposed balcony. Luna could practically taste her sweetness on her tongue and feel the warmth of Moony's thighs wrapped around her cheeks. The princess blushed at that, remembering how much trouble she could’ve gotten in if anypony saw her performing such an lewd and intimate act in what was essentially the open, for everypony to see.

“Brr…” Luna shivered as she entered her lightless room. With her hind-hoof, she skillfully slid the door shut behind her. On frozen, wobbly legs, the princess shuffled over to the open fireplace and collapsed before it, allowing it to cleanse her body of the numbing cold. She crossed her hooves and rested her head down between the divot they made. The rug beneath her tickled her coat slightly, though not enough to be annoying. Contently comfortable, Luna sighed, loosening her muscles and allowing sleep to come to her.

The princess of the night feared that Nightmare Moon would plague her dreams, but she was far too tired to stay awake any longer. If she comes, so be it. I will deal with her. Luna, however, was incorrect – her dreams were pure and uncorrupted by the wicked mare’s presence, leaving her to dream about whatever she wished. She had decided on a simple walk through the royal gardens at night. The night blooming flowers obeyed her mind and displayed their petals as the moonlight further enhanced their natural beauty. When she focused her magic on the dark canvas of sky above her, it complied and spawned stars that sparkled through the artificial night.

…

After taking care of her daily duties, Celestia managed to gather a secret meeting en masse with every psychologist, doctor, and herbalist in Canterlot that she personally trusted. In all, there were six ponies, Celestia included, involved in the meeting. She told them of the issue and practically begged for each and every one of their assistance with promise of generous pay and sent them on their way. Celestia returned to her chambers a few hours earlier than normal on account of a slow day. She was incredibly thankful.

The thought of writing a letter to her most faithful of students, Twilight Sparkle, crossed her mind. The thought was quickly stored in the back of her mind as a last resort. Twilight had the habit of losing herself when she was put on the spot so abruptly. Regardless, Celestia knew that Twilight would do everything in her power to solve the problem, yet it would be best to not inform her as of yet. The matter was slowly being taken care of in secret with no need to tell the lavender mare. Celestia wrote a quick note to her sister and then raised the Moon. The goddess of the Sun tried her hoof at putting a bit of effort into creating stars in the dark canvas of night sky, patiently weaving her magic through the heavens above. Not nearly as well as Luna would have done it. Celestia thought, but she still felt proud that she was able to make a somewhat decent looking skyscape.