The Conversion Bureau: Signal

Fred stared at his plate. He stared very hard at it in the colt equivalent of a scowl, which he could see reflected in his glass of water. The scowl intensified to "d'aww" levels as he realized he would never quite reach his previous degree of "don't-fuck-with-me"-itude when it came to his angry face.

"If you keep staring like that, your face will get stuck that way, you know."

The scowling colt looked up and rolled his eyes at his companion.

"My mom told me the same thing when I was a kid - never happened. Nice try though."

Dawn Shimmer smiled at him mysteriously with heavily lidded eyes.

"Maybe for humans, but you're a pony now. How can you be so sure?"

"You're fuckin' with me." It wasn't really an accusation. Fred sighed and ate up some of his lunch - carrots and hay fries, which, as a self-declared meat enthusiast, he was somewhat disturbed to discover were fairly tasty. "I'm going stir crazy in here, by the way. Why won't you just let me take a walk on the town? It's a whole new world and I'm stuck in a frickin' lab facility. And not even my preferred kind of lab facility. What is it with you people and the cutesy heart designs all over the place?"

Dawn just chuckled and attended to her own meal, a golden aura around her horn and her salad as she dexterously ate an cleaned her face with a napkin daintily.

"Well, this was a hospital before being converted into a Bureau. It's meant to make the patients feel welcome and safe." She took a sip of her own drink, eyes turning serious. "And I'm sorry, Fred, really, but protocol dictates that all new arrivals must spend a minimum of two weeks inside the bureau to adjust to their new bodies before being allowed outside. And even then, you can't even use your magic yet!"

"So what? I can walk and trot and gallop and whatever just fine. I'm even pretty handy - heh, handy - with these hooves for grabbing stuff."

"I still can't believe you got used to using your mouth for grabbing things faster than basic telekinesis..."

"Check your privilege, horse. I didn't grow up with a magic wand sticking out of my face. Anyway, as my attending physician can't you make an exception? All this time indoors can't be good for me, right? All this energy is about to make me pop. I might go bananas! Apeshit, even! Or is it horse shit? Some kinda shit." Fred shook his face, mouth open and tongue flapping about. He received an unamused look from the mare.

"Cute." She took another bite, going quiet. "Must you speak so vulgarly?"

"Let me out and I won't swear for a month."

"Don't think me so easily bribed. Your language, while filthy, is hardly the worst I've had to endure."

"Shit. Damn. Hell. Flaming hell shitmonkeys fucking moonbitches!"

"Ponies are staring, stop it!"

"I can't help it. I must be reverting to a childish state!"