The Problem of Other Sapients, Memoirs of a Man

As much as I'd like to meet the tooth fairy on an evening walk, I don't really believe it can happen.

-Chris Van Allsburg

It was a beautiful day outside in Longview, Texas, perfect for taking a lovely stroll through the pines, or perhaps a picnic. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the breeze was pleasant and cooling, and there were some lovely clouds overhead.

I continued my morning walk, a ritual that I had participated in since graduating high school, while whistling a merry tune, the same tune emanating from the earbuds of my phone.

The piece came to an end, and, while deciding on a new one, I glanced at the clock on my phone.

"Oh no, I need to get to work!"

I began to walk more quickly, but not to the point of a jog, as the trail was almost finished.

I practically threw myself into the car when I arrived at the small parking lot. I quickly started it up, and began the drive to my job, a professor at the local college, a rewarding, if oftentimes difficult job.

I always go straight from the park to the college, so my things were in the backseat already, meaning that I didn't need to stop by my house before heading to work.

I was a professor of philosophy, a smallish class, in fact, it was one of the smallest on the campus. I really didn't care about that though, so long as I could teach someone.

I arrived at the campus slightly late. Fortunately, I didn't have a class to teach for a while, but some students occasionally had questions that were not readily answerable in class.

When noone was there, I turned to writing my book, my third, in fact, a book dealing primarily with the ethics of the singularity and alien contact. A bit outlandish, yes, but because of the interesting premise, hype was fairly easy to generate, particularly amongst sci-fi fans.

I sat down at my desk and booted up my laptop. The (still unfinished) draft was stored on this computer, not on the college's desktops, mostly because I often worked on it from home, although some of it was mild paranoia.

Time flew by, as did the day's classes, and before I knew it, I was on the drive home. I had gotten quite a bit of work done on my book, but I hadn't gotten as much as I wanted. Not only that, but it was a very beautiful day, so I decided to stop by park again.

I got out of the car and grabbed the bag containing my laptop, walking along the trail until I came across a bench. Sitting down, I opened up the computer and booted it, and began to write. I quickly found that it was quite refreshing to write outside.

"I should have done this sooner," I said to myself, as the clear air was having a rejuvenating effect on me.

About half an hour and several people passed as I typed away before I decided that I had done enough.

I turned off the laptop and placed it in my bag. As I stood up, something caught my eye.

There, in the long shadows created by the setting sun, was a faint light in the trees. I moved towards it, figuring that someone had wandered off the trail and gotten lost.

I continued to walk towards it, eventually getting close enough to see that it had a blue tinge to it.

"Somebody there?" I asked.

The light didn't move.

"Hello?"

By this point I was close enough to see that the light was fire, rather than electrically generated.

"Anyone?"

I stepped within ten meters of the light. Much to my surprise, there was nobody there, only the strange floating blue fire.

"What on Earth?" I asked myself, walking closer to it.

Just as I grew close enough to touch it, it started, and flew away.

I chased after it, hoping to find out what it was.

I thundered through the woods, until I tripped over a branch.

The light continued on.

"Wait!" I shouted, scrambling up and running towards it with renewed vigor.

I slowly gained on it, but before I could touch it, I fell into a pit.

~~~===***===~~~

The bell sounded, ending the work day at Sweet Apple Acres.

"That's the last one, Big Mac," came a thick drawl.

"Eeyup," the large red pony responded.

"If it's alright with y'all, I'm goin' ta double check the field," said the orange mare.

Big Mac nodded and turned towards the barn.

Applejack, for that was her name, turned towards the orchard, for one last check to see if every tree had been bucked.

~~~===***===~~~

I came to lying down in the grass, hungry and disoriented. I lay next to a dirt path and a fence, beyond which lay neat rows of trees with apples hanging on the branches.

I looked up at the sky. The sun had still not set, but that would certainly not be the case in a few minutes. My stomach growled, and, after making sure that I had not been robbed in my unconscious state, hopped the fence.

I took a few apples off the tree, resolving to find the owner of the orchard and pay him or her back later. In the mean time, I snacked on the apples, walking parallel to the fence and thinking about the strange phenomena that had just occurred.

What I chased was either an illusion or a wil-o-the-wisp, and considering that I had not been robbed, the chances of a convoluted scheme to rob unsuspecting passers-by seemed less likely.

"It couldn't be an actual fairy, that's preposterous!" I said. Part of me wanted it to be true, of course, but my rational mind disregarded the notion.

So I continued walking until I heard a voice.

"Right, that looks like everything, guess I had better get back to the barn."

The voice had a southern accent, and was obviously female. Perhaps she was the owner, or at least, an employee?

"Hello?" I called.

"Who is it?" she asked.

I began walking towards the voice at an increased pace.

"I seem to have gotten lost," I said. "Is this your orchard?"

"I am co-owner of this property, yes," she replied.

The voice was certainly closer to me now.

"Good, I got a bit hungry and ate three apples, and I wanted to pay you back. How much were they?" I asked, taking out my wallet.

I was very close to her at this point.

"One-" she paused,"buck."

I fished around in my wallet for a dollar.

"That's awfully cheap... Ah ha!" I said triumphantly, finding a dollar bill.

I put my wallet back in my pocket and looked up, money in hand. There was a very small, technicolor horse wearing a cowboy hat in front of me.

"That's an odd coloration for a horse," I said.