One ODST's adventure in Equestria

As they were walking through the forest, a gray pegasus fell right in front of them. “Mother of…. oh it’s just Derpy.” said Vinyl. “Who is Derpy? She’s the pegasus right in front of us, isn’t she?” Epsilon asked. “Do you have any muffins?” Derpy asked. “Sorry Derpy, but I’m saving this muffin for Octavia. It’s not for you.” said Vinyl, with empathy. Derpy looked somewhat sad, but perked up instantly when remembered that she already had some cooking at her house. “Well, I have to go. My muffin senses are tingling!” proclaimed Derpy, and left with a swoosh. So they continued on their way, with no more distractions. Soon they found the metal, gray bulk that Epsilon was searching for: The UNSC Intimate. But Epsilon also saw a few other things he didn’t expect to find: The Covenant & the Flood.

“This is bad, very, very bad,” said Epsilon, “Let me get out my SMG. Here, Vinyl, take my Assault Rifle.” “I don’t need it, I’ve got my bass cannon with me,” Proclaimed Vinyl, “Well then, you ready to go?” “Heh…I WAS BORN READY!!!!” Epsilon shouted, and they ran into the field of combat. Bullets and plasma flew everywhere. Vinyl had shot a squad of Flood infected elites, and they all disintegrated. “Score one for the DJ! Woo!” She said with glee. “Keep going, we are almost there!” Said Epsilon. But as soon as Epsilon said that, a plasma bolt hit Vinyl. “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” She screamed. Epsilon came running to her. “Are you okay? Wait, what am I thinking you were shot; of course you’re not. Here, I’m going to apply some anti-burn cream to the wound, it might sting a little.” Epsilon said. He applied the cream with carefulness, making sure not to hurt Vinyl. “Don’t leave me here Epsilon, please don’t leave me.” Vinyl said in a weak voice. “I won’t leave ya. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a blade in my eye.” Said Epsilon. So, he carried her to the Intimate, and told her that he was going to take her to the infirmary wing of the ship.

“Vinyl, I want you to stay here and stay safe. If anything comes near you, shoot it. Except for me.” Epsilon said. “Sure thing. Hey, I want to go with you back to Earth with you when the time comes.” Vinyl said weakly. So he promised her that he would come back to get her and went to find the slip-space control room. 2 human flood combat forms, however, blocked his path. “You want to go against me, don’t you? Well then, TAKE THIS!!!!” He shouted, and bullets started flying everywhere. After a brief session of shooting, Epsilon continued towards the slip-space control room. He was almost halfway there, when a Hunter had appeared. “Not one of you guys. Really! Really! I thought getting there was hard enough, but with you here? “No, let’s make it harder for him to get to the slip-space control room.” Well, I guess I will kill you then.” Epsilon said, ripping out the orange worms in the Hunter. Soon, he was at the slip-space control room. “Well, I go in, activate a slip-space portal to Earth, get out, get Vinyl, find a pelican, and drop a bomb to kill all of these mother buckers, then leave to Earth.” He thought aloud. He entered the control room and activated a portal to Earth. Then he went to get Vinyl.

“Come on Vinyl, you can make it! Just a little farther to the Pelican.” Epsilon said. He and Vinyl where trying to carry a bomb to the Pelican so they could drop it from the sky. “This thing is so heavy,” Vinyl said, “I can’t feel my arms anymore!” Even though it hurt, they kept going. When they reached the Pelican, they loaded it on and flew out of the UNSC Intimate. “Drop the bomb on my mark,” Epsilon said, “3…2…. 1. DROP!” Vinyl pushed the bomb out of the hull of the Pelican, and it dropped like a stone towards the ground. Just as they reached the portal, the bomb hit the ground. They weren’t there to see the explosion, but they did feel it. “This is your pilot speaking, we are on our way to Earth. Don’t worry about the orange aurora around you and the plane. It’s nothing.” Epsilon said. “Well let’s see this “Earth” place that you’re from.” Said Vinyl. But Epsilon didn’t know that one of the engines was silently failing.

When they reached Earth, Epsilon saw that the back engines were failing. Suddenly, the cargo door opened, and they saw Derpy standing there. “Your fire-things aren’t working.” Derpy said. “Well no dip Sherlock Holmes.” Replied Epsilon in a frustrated voice. The Pelican suddenly started descending rapidly, while Derpy, Vinyl, and Epsilon were holding on to not fly out of the cargo bay door. “Somebody please shut this door!” Vinyl yelled. “I’m on, I got it, don’t worry!” Epsilon said, and he hit the close button on the door controls. The door closed, and they all let go of whatever they were holding onto. “Okay, now how are we going to stop the crash?” Vinyl asked. Epsilon looked out through the cockpit window and saw that they were extremely close to the ground and trees. “BRACE FOR IMPACT! WE’RE GOING DOWN!!” He shouted. When they hit the ground, a Magnum that was kept in the cockpit knocked out Epsilon.

When Epsilon came to, he found that the Covenant was searching the Pelican for survivors and anything useful to use to fight the UNSC. He also saw that Vinyl and Derpy were being hauled away by 2 Elite Generals. He looked around for a gun, but all he found was a Magnum. “I guess this’ll have to do.” He said, and aimed the magnum at the Elites’ heads. He was able to kill one but was then kicked in the face by an Elite Field Marshall. “This one is still alive,” Said an Elite Minor, “What should we do with him?” “Take him to the Malevolent Grace, we will find out what he knows.” The Field Marshall said. The Elite Minor picked him up and dragged him away without any care for him. As he was being dragged away, he saw that Vinyl and Derpy were being taken to a separate Phantom drop ship. When he was dragged on the Phantom an Elite said, “You are coming with us Demon.” But at that exact moment, a Falcon appeared and the pilot said, “No he isn’t Split-Jaw!”, and the pilot opened fire on the Phantom, killing the Elites on board. “Come on, get on before I blow up the Phantom!” Said the pilot. Epsilon ran off and jumped onto the Falcon. He did just before the pilot blew up the Phantom. “Too dang close man, too dang close.” Epsilon said. “Jeez, sorry, I thought I was supposed to blow it up,” Said the pilot, “Alright, we’re heading back to Fire Base Sierra. Your squad members are there, waiting for you.”