Crusader Sky

"A Princess Luna is incoming! Brace for impact!" Jenkins called out, the entire crew scrambling and screaming like little fillies.

The only ponies that weren't screaming like little fillies were the only little fillies on the ship. Many pirates hid or reached for their muskets while others were content with either laying down in a fetal position and crying or running around in circles. The Cutie Mark Crusaders just sat there idle while the rest of the crew freaked out.

"I can't take this anymore! I keep getting stalked by Princess Lunas! I'm ending it! I'm sorry mom!" a suicidal pirate cried.

Applebloom's eyes nearly popped out of her skull when she saw a pirate that was freaking out, jump overboard and plummet to the earth below. She galloped up to the edge of the ship and looked over, hoping to catch a glimpse at the fallen pony.

Applebloom looked to Leeroy Jenkins in sheer terror.

"He just jumped off! Why does this keep happening to me!?" she panicked.

Leeroy just gazed at her with a blank expression.

"Oh, don't worry. Shifty's a pegasus, he always does that," the Dread Pirate waved off.

A loud boom from the center of the top deck caught their attention. Princess Luna, in all of her bluish and socially awkward glory, was standing proudly, a spitting image of one of the most powerful alicorns in the world. There was a white sock covering her horn, flopping around as she moved her head. She gazed across the deck, oblivious to the fleeing ponies around her as she singled out the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"You three fillies! Your princess demands your assistance!" she bellowed.

The ponies that were standing around her were running and crying in pain, their hooves covering their bloody eardrums.

The three friends froze in their tracks.

Scootaloo's wings flushed open as she licked her lips.

"I would like to put my chicken in her."

"Yes? I am Captain Sweetie Belle. What is it you desire, o powerful moon hobo!? I really love your mane by the way..."

"They keep callin' me a slave. Help me..."

Luna looked to her ponies with a smile as she stomped her hoof onto the wooden deck, her alicorn powers causing it to crack. The pony who was painting the deck next to her frowned and whimpered at his ruined work with a brush in his mouth.

"I have this sock placed over my horn because I am self-conscious about showing it to Twilight Sparkle, of whom I have a crush on! If you can make my horn make Twilight hornier than she already is, I will reward you greatly!"

Sweetie Belle looked to Applebloom.

"Hey slave, does this mean we have to cut off her horn and glue it to Twilight?"

Applebloom scowled in anger at her title.

"No Captain, I think she wants us to...polish it."

"I'm getting horny and I'm not even a unicorn!" Scootaloo added with an enthusiastic smile, going wall-eyed.

Luna rose a hoof to her chin in heavy thought.

"Oh! I've got it! I'll tag along with you and use my overpowered alicorn magic to kill anything that gets in your wa-look out! I'll save you, random pirate pony!" Luna cried out as a powerful, blue beam shot from her horn.

A random pirate pony was waiting on his pet parrot to return to his shoulder from his errand. The parrot had a bag filled with anti-depressant pills and crack cocaine and was flying to complete the pirate's transaction. He smiled widely as his feathered friend entered his view with his fix in tow. He couldn't wait to pop that first pill.

The bird then was shredded by a bright blue light, feathers ruffling everywhere and the bag of goodies plummeting to the earth below. A tear went down the pirate's face.

"NO!"

Luna turned back to the fillies, who gasped at her in shock. The princess just murdered a bird. Even worse, she wasted some perfectly good drugs. The sock was somehow still over her horn, undamaged.

"You see little ones? I can be helpful."

After it was settled that Luna would travel with them, the fillies urged the pirates not to be scared and to come out of hiding and prevent suicides. It wasn't long before Leeroy Jenkins was shaking hooves with Princess Luna and business was usual around the ship.

They were now sailing over a mountain range that marked the border of Equestria and they now realized that they were heading into a foreign land. The mountains were below them and Applebloom could see griffons flying about their homes. She gazed at the beautiful scenery, the wind coursing through her hair. She then heard clopping coming up from behind her.

It was Stiffler, the brown-spotted, white pegasus.

"So..."

"So what?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know what?"

"You're hot for a slave."

"Um...thank you?"

"Your welcome. Well...the Dread Pirate is probably looking for me and your owner Sweetie Belle probably is looking for you too...so I'll see you later sexy slave."

"You too Stiffy," Applebloom finished with a blush.

She retracted her hooves from the wooden rails as she stole a glance at his flank and bit her lip in longing. She needed to masturbate tonight, she hadn't done so since Scootaloo tried to molest her a week ago.

"Enemy ships! It's an ambush!" Leeroy cried.

"There's five of them! Luna, get ready to fire your horn. All crews to battlestations! Fire all batteries!" Sweetie Belle ordered.

Ponies scurried around the ship, this time, ready to fight. Applebloom and Scootaloo both hurried down with the other pirates into the deck below, where they kept the armory. Crewmembers began manning the cannons and priming them to fire. Scootaloo and Applebloom recieved a musket and a saber from the pony handing out weapons and ran back up to the top deck.

Up there, they could see five smaller ships moving up to engage the Crusader.

"Artillery crews! Get ready to commit murder!" the Dread Pirate yelled.

Griffon mercenaries were flying five light frigates to attack them.

Luna's horn fired.

Four light frigates.

They were coming in at all angles, aiming to box them in.

"Get ready for a fight ponies! For tonight, we hump in Tartarus!" Sweetie Belle spoke epicly.

"For freedom!" Applebloom shouted.

"For Twilight!" Luna added.

"For something I care about!" Leeroy yelled unconfidently.

"For sex slaves!" Stiffler roared as he cocked a flintlock pistol.

"Rape and pillag-ur, I mean, more rape!" Scootaloo chirped happily, saber locked in her hoof and jabbed into the air.

Sweetie Belle looked across the entire vessel and her crew.

"Fire all batteries!"