And Did Those Feet, in Ancient Time

Twilight Sparkle led the two men to the library, which was in actually built inside a large of a Oak tree. Only ten second has passed since the door closed did Twilight begin to speak.

“Right, take off your clothes,” she said briskly.

“Errm, no,” Graham said.

“Why not?” she asked.

“You see,” Charlie began to explain, as it seemed he always had to, “Where we’re from, we usually wear clothes. Not wearing them isn’t normally considered socially acceptable.”

“How odd,” she said, “I can’t think of any culture that finds nakedness taboo. You two really are from somewhere different. Either way, I do require you take them off. This is science, after all.”

Graham and Charlie uneasily began to strip, the purple unicorn watching as they did.

“Wait, does this mean that experience at the fashion shop was foreplay?” Graham said, hoping to ease some of the tension.

Charlie looked at him blankly.

“You know, because last time that unicorn was playing about with our clothes and now. . . oh never mind!”

Twilight continued to examine the two of them closely, her face alternating between puzzlement and excitement.

“This is amazing!” she said after a few minutes, “A previously unknown species, incomparable to any I’ve seen before! I can’t wait to inform the Princess of this!”

“That’s great,” Graham said rather disinterestedly.

“I know,” Twilight replied with a huge grin, “But now,” her face adopting a more serious question, “I need to figure out more about your kind, the . . .”

“Humans,” Charlie answered helpfully.

“Right, humans,” Twilight paused for thought, “Well, one of the largest differences I can think of is that you’re bipedal. . .”

“Huh?” Graham interrupted.

“It means we stand on two legs, Graham,” Charlie said in a somewhat patronising tone.

“If I can get back to what I was saying,” Twilight said, “Are you two young for your species?”

“We’re both fully grown adults,” Graham answered, quite confused about the question.

“The reason I asked you is because the only bipedal capable of speech are extremely young Dragons, like Spike. . .”

“Dragons are real here!?!” Charlie yelled, taking his turn to interrupt Twilight.

“What do you mean by here?” Twilight asked, “Where are you from?

“It’s hard to explain,” began Charlie, “We’re not quite sure how to put it ourselves. The best answer would probably be a different reality. Most of the animals that live and speak here exist in our world, but just as animals, they can’t speak or really do much of what they do here. From what I can tell, you also have animals that just appear in our mythology, like Dragons.”

“Dragons are just a myth over there?” asked Twilight.

“Yeah,” Graham said, “There’s even a legend of one man, Saint George, who killed a Dragon single-handedly. He’s even named the patron hero of our country, in a way.”

As Graham was telling this, he didn’t notice the appearance of a small scaled creature in the room, purple just like Twilight.

“K-kills Dragons,” he stammered, “You two don’t want to do that to me, right?”

Twilight laughed, “Don’t be silly, Spike! Of course they won’t,” she reassured him, but looked over at Graham and Charlie with a concerned expression.

“We won’t,” Graham told them.

______________________________________________________________________________

Another hour of questioning the human anatomy and culture continued, as Twilight explained they would soon be presented to the Princesses and she needed to be a human expert as soon as she could.

She was being lectured by Charlie about the lack of fur in most places, when an owl flew downstairs and landed on Twilight’s back.

“Oh, not now Owlowiscious,” she chided him with considerable irritation.

“Just look at that,” Graham said in mock annoyance, “First Harry Potter and now every wizard has to have a bloody owl!”

“So, humans have magic too?” queried Twilight.

“They’re like Dragons,” Graham said, “Only appear in fiction.”

A few minutes later, the two were sent home, and told to be ready to leave early tomorrow morning, as they would catch the train to Canterlot.

______________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, like yesterday, their breakfast was interrupted by a knock at the door. When Graham opened it, once again he was greeted by Twilight Sparkle.

“I sent a letter to the Princess,” she told him

“And?”

“She’s requested you and the other’s presence in Canterlot immediately.

“Charlie’s his name,” Graham said, “and I’m Graham.”

“Oh, sorry” Twilight said, blushing slightly, “I was so caught up in studying your species I forgot to even ask a name!”

As the three of them were walking to the railroad station, Charlie asked “So, will you be escorting us to the capital?”

“Of course,” she replied, “Well, I’m not the only one. Five more will be with us. I believe you’ve met most of them already.”

Sure enough, they boarded a carriage with Twilight and found themselves with Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, and two Pegasi they had not yet met. One, with a rainbow mane, was in the air, flapping her wings, while the other sat in her seat quietly.

“Alright girls,” Twilight said, “I know most of you know these two but I want to introduce them anyway. This is Graham, and this is Charlie, and they’re humans from a strange land beyond Equestria.”

“Great to see you again!” Pinkie Pie said with a squeal.

“We actually haven’t met those two yet,” Charlie said, gesturing to the Pegasi.

“I’m, um, Fluttershy,” the yellow-furred one whispered.

“And I’m Rainbow Dash, faster flier in all of Equestria!” the other boasted.

“Why do you always introduce yourself that way?” Applejack asked in a critical tone.

Rainbow Dash shot her a somewhat nasty look, but at this point Rarity came between the two.

“I don’t believe she meant it that way at all,” she told Rainbow Dash diplomatically, “She simply meant that your reputation precedes you, everypony knows you’re the faster flier anywhere.”

“Oh, that’s cool then,” she said, and landed down in the seat below her.

______________________________________________________________________________

The train had been travelling for a few minutes now when Charlie moved over to sit by Pinkie Pie.

“Pinkie?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“That mural on the house we were in, was that you?”

“Well I got all my friends to help out in doing it, but it was my idea!” she declared proudly with a grin.

“Well, thank you so much for it,” Charlie said.

“Oh, it’s not a problem at all! It was just my way of saying sorry. . .”

“Sorry for what?” Graham asked, jumping into the conversation.

“For not throwing a party when you arrived! There’s always a party when new people come to Ponyville. . .except this time.”

For the first time since they’d met, Pinkie Pie briefly frowned.

“I’m sure there will be some celebration in Canterlot when they meet the princesses,” Fluttershy said in a hushed voice.

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash replied, “As long as it doesn’t end up like when we were invited to the Gala!”

Everypony in the carriage laughed at that, and Graham figured he wouldn’t  be able to follow the conversation, so he looked out at the scenery surrounding Ponyville.

It still looks like Wales to me, he thought.

______________________________________________________________________________

Some indeterminate amount of time later, a Pony came through wheeling a tray full of sweet pastries and cakes and other such goodies.

“Lunch!” he called.

No shit, Graham thought, but still thanked him as he picked up a piece of apple strudel.

After they were done eating, Fluttershy quietly asked Graham, “So, is your food like ours?”

“A lot of it is,” Graham answered, “Although,” he admitted, “Most humans eat meat.”

“Oh my,” she said with what managed to be a nearly silent gasp, “I’ve fed worms to my birds and other animals before, but it’s strange to think that creatures like you would. . .”

“You keep pets?” Charlie asked.

“A few,” she said meekly.

“I love animals,” Charlie told her, “When I was young I had a lovely dog named Muffin, a border collie. . .”

“Did somepony say they had a collie?” Applejack asked, interrupting Charlie’s interruption.

Charlie and Applejack spent a while conversing about dogs, which Graham again couldn’t follow.

He must be pretty used to this place by now, Graham reflected, if he can sit there talking about pets with a talking rancher Pony and not find anything odd about that.

A few minutes of carefully watching the countryside later, and Graham was asleep.

______________________________________________________________________________

The sun was starting to go down when Charlie woke Graham up with a tap on the shoulder.

“Come on,” he said, “You’ve been sleeping for hours.”

“So I have,” Graham replied.

“So I was thinking,” Charlie told him, “That we’re going to be meeting the rulers of this place, and we’re going to be representing humanity, in a way.”

“Thanks for summing up what we already know,” Graham said, miffed that he’d been woken up over this.

“All I’m saying is, try to be diplomatic,” Charlie requested.

“I suppose,” Graham replied, “But there’s one thing about these Ponies that seems off.”

“Oh?”

“For how nice they act and all, it seems like these Princesses are absolute rulers. Seems rather uncultured to not have some kind of democracy.”

“It seems to be working well enough for them,” Charlie reasoned.

Graham simply grunted.

“Here, look at that,” Charlie said, pointing out the window.

In the distance, a massive, steep mountain stood in front of the purple twilight sky. On the steepest bank of the mountain lay a city, and a grand castle of towering, elegant spires, illuminated by the last orange streaks of the setting sun.

“That’s Canterlot,” Charlie told him, “The ponies pointed it out whilst you slept. If they can produce something as magnificent as that, what does it tell you?”

Graham looked out at the city for a minute, then turned over to Charlie.

“I can’t think of a single building code that doesn’t violate,” he said, then fell back asleep.