The Masturbatory Adventures Of Physically Unstable Gaben

Gaben was on the floor crying as we beat the fat out of his rolls. At one point he started bleeding. "WAIT! DON'T KILL HIM! We need him alive so we can make fun of him in the future and stuff!" Realizing this everyone left Gaben alone. Our heroes(and gabeN) grouped up in the market square of PonyVille to decide what they should do. "I say we split up. So we can cover more ground and shit." Spiked said. "Good point." Hash replied. "I will go to Rarity's house. Hash you go to that sperm bank and Gaben you go to that bigass tree library over yonder." Spiked ordered. "Got it." Gaben and Hash said in unison. Our heroes (and Gabe) headed towards their destinations with gusto and curiousity. Also Gabe was a little aroused when he thought about getting beaten up by Rainbow Dash.

"did anyone else get a boner when rainbowdash kicked me?" gaben said. "the fak?" said spike and hash at the same time. Hash started to speak. "Gabe how did you even get that portal in the first place?" "I was looking at pictures and... one thing led to another" "go fuck yourself gabe" hash said "already did" gabe replied. "Fuck this im going to raritys house, Go away gabe" Awhile later Hash came up to raritys door. "RARITY ASKITAPISTAPOOSHAT" "the hell you want boy" rarity said. "some asshole sent me here for some weird ass reason." hash replied "get the fuck off my property" rarity as she slammed the door shut. "WAIT! Would you like some girlscout cookies?" "how the hell did you get those" rarity asked questionisticalmacaly. "i beat up some little child-pony with light purple and pink hair" Hash said "get the hell off my property and never come back." Soon after hash got a phonecall from spiked. Spiked had asked if he had any progress. Hash replied "That stupid bitch just slammed the door at me because i had cookies!"

"I dont care how you get her to come out of her house just do it. I have heard about these guys. Rarity,Pinky,Twilight,Applesack,Fluttershy and Rainbow. We need to convince them to follow us to town so that we can get them to help us get home." Spiked explained. "Why?" Hash said. "Because they are the Helaments Of Armory. They hold immense magical power and if anyone can help us they can. So get Rarity's fatass outside NOW!" Spike said now getting angry. ""Fine" Hash said before hastily hanging up. There it was, a giant gleaming white building on top of what used to be some gayass farm or some shit. It was the Apple Family Sperm Bank. "Looks like I have arrived." Spiked said to himself as he decended upon the white gleaming structure. "I wonder what Gabe is up to......." The narrator thought before convienently switching to Gabe.

: Gabe was on the floor. He was really sad and couldn't move. And some asshole shoved a water bottle up his folds. Gabe was really despressed. but nobody cares about him anyway. So lets see what Spiked is up too. "well Ive arrived at this gayass spermbank, wait. wasn't I supposed to go to raritys house?" Hash was busy relaxing on a bench when he heard a loud yelling sound. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he remembered this voice and said "FUCK" he ran for his life only to realized he was destroying every building in his path. He was arrested for genocide. "DAMNIT HASH WHY DID YOU KILL PEOPLE" NOW WE'LL NEVER FIND THE HELEMENTS OF ARMORY."  "The helamuff of arfuck?" hash said questionably. "does that have somthing to do with armadillios?" he said. "anyways I am on death row and gabe is begging for a plushie. its up to you find get those armadillio pleasure tools spiked!" Then they heard a loud sound outside. It was satan destroying the city. "did you know i was also arrested for summoning satan?"  "this is why we can't have nice things. I knew i should have stayed in bed today."

Will our heroes be able to locate the Elements? Will they be able to subdue Satan? Will Gabe stop being fat as fuck???? Tune in next time to find out!

TO BE CONTINUED