Hulk Hogan Vs. The Apple Family

The Hulkster awoke with a start. He found himself laying in a field filled with apple trees. There were thousands of them!

"Where am I?" Asked the wrestling legend

"WOOOOWWWWEEEEEEE! Who are you pardn'r?" asked a voice from behind Hogan.

He turned to spot three..... Ponies?

"Who are you brothers?" asked Hulk

"We was asking the same thing!" Said the surprised and clearly aggravated pony. "This here's our land! What makes you think that you can just mosey on over here and take a nap in our field?"

"Where am I?" Asked hulk

"You're on our farm," said the orange pony. "and if you's one of Discord's minions then I suggest that you git out quick, ya' hear?

'Oh... this must be a dream!' thought the Hulkster as he stood up.

"You can't tell the Hulk what to do brother!" Yelled Hogan.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME BROTHER? OH THAT IS IT! GET 'IM BIG MACINTOSH!" Yelled the ornge pony and the large red one charged towards you.

'this is a weird dream.' Thought the Hulkster just before the red pony made contact. Hulk thought his name was Macentire, so that's what we'll call him.

Macentire slammed into hulk with surprising force sending him flying backwards and kicking up a large cloud of dirt where the Hulkster landed.

"Now Git!" Yelled the small, tan pony.

This pony, named Applejack hulk think he heard one say, stared into the dirt cloud. Making sure that they hadn't hurt this intruder so bad that he couldn't walk out of there. She looked into the cloud as it dispersed, revealing nothing but some turned up dirt where the hulkster had landed.

"Where'd he go?" Said Applejack

All the ponies began to look around for some sign of this intruder.

"NO ONE TAKES DOWN THE HULKSTER WITHOUT A FIGHT!" yelled the hulkster as he jumped from one of the trees, landing on Macentire with a large elbow to the ribs.

listen : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FECgT43IOqM

The large red pony collapsed under the force of this bone-crushing blow. The hulkster quickly got to his feet and grabbed the pony by his head and hind legs. He raised this pony over his head and dropped him onto his quickly-extended knee. The sound of bones crunching rang throughout the orchard. Macentire yelled out in pain as Hogan raised him again, this time holding him so that his hind legs were facing the ground and his head was just above Hogan's head.

"GET READY," Said Hogan, "TO GET SLAMMED!"

He dropped to his knees and threw the large red pony forcefully to the ground. Macentire's head smacked against the ground and made the world spin. Hogan let go and allowed Macentire to get his bearings.

"My friend Shawn Michaels taught me this one!" said hogan as he walked up to a tree and placed one hand against it gently. He slowly stamped his foot onto the ground as Macentire was getting up. The other two ponies were too shocked to help but were still yelling encouragements to their brother.

"Go get him brother!" they were yelling, obviously not talking about the type of brother Hogan talked about.

As the red pony was raising Hogan began stomping repeatedly, faster and faster. He continued stomping until the pony had shakily reached his feet.

"SWEET CHIN MUSIC!" Called out the Hulkster, mimicking the move his friend had taught him.

As he said this he jumped towards Macentire and swung his foot into the chin of this large pony. The pony collapsed, his eyes were glazed, blood was running from his mouth and nose, and he was clearly out cold.

"YEEEHAWWWW!!!" Yelled the Orange pony as a sort of war cry.

She pulled a rope from god-knows-where and began to swing it like a lasso, holding it firmly in her mouth.She swung it towards our-awesome-hero and attempted to catch him within the rope. She hit her target and was soon trying to tug the Hulkster to the ground.

"You think you can hold the Hulkster?" asked our-awesome-hero. "You ain't nothing but an insignificant flea, on the head of my Dog!"

He flexed his massive muscles and ripped the lasso apart, causing the orange pony to fall backwards. Next Hulkster grabbed the rope that the pony was still holding and pulled back with as much force as he cold muster. She flew towards him and was met with a rock-solid clothesline from the Hulkster. She, too, was now on the ground next her brother.

"Please don't h-hurt me m-mister..." Said the tan pony.

Her voice made Hogan realize what he was doing and stopped him from suplexing her into the hard ground she now stood on.

"AAwwwwww," said Hogan as he walked towards this scared little filly, "I won't hurt you."

"R-really?" Asked the still-frightened filly.

"JUST KIDDING!!!!" Yelled the Hulkster as he jumped through the air. He soared like an eagle, landing perfectly on this little pony. He began slamming his open hand against the ground.

"ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!!" Yelled the Hulkster as he did this. Once he hit the three-count he got to his feet, clasped both hands while flexing his muscles, and raised them up while cheering for himself.

The filly was crushed into the ground, but still breathing. The Hulkster thought to himself for a bit about what to do next. He picked an apple from the tree and bit into it, savoring the flavor.

"IF I'M HERE...." started Hogan, "THEN MY FRIENDS MUST BE HERE TOO! MAYBE WHEN I FIND THEM THERE WILL BE MORE PASSENGERS TO BOARD THE PAIN-TRAIN!!!" Hogan said to himself. He seemed to enjoy his own, loud voice.

He strutted away, humming American Hero to himself, to find his friends. It's going to be a good day......

Author's Note

This one goes out to my friends Paul Stevenson and Dante Redfield!