Name's Joe

"So what is your race?" Twilight asked me, while levitating a quill and a jar of ink from her saddlebags. Wait, how long has she had those?

"I am a human, or genus homo sapien if you want to get technical." She smiled at this bit of information.

"I've noticed you look, and please don't cut my horn off when I say this but,similar to a primate. Care to explain."

"Well God made us to look like this in his image but, according to Darwin's theory of evolution certain animals thrive due to them being better adapted to certain environments and that supposedly all living beings have a common ancestor.But, I personally have a problem with this. The cell theory states that a cell has to come from another cell, if this is true, then where did the first cell come from?"

She, after snapping out of deep thought, frantically wrote my thoughts down.

"Okay, can you tell us about your race?"

"Well if I can be completely honest, I don't like them much."

"Why is that?."

"We are constantly polluting the Earth ,and keep getting in wars over opinion and greed."

At the mention of this there was a collective gasp in the room.

"There hasn't been a war in Equestria in over 500 years!"

"Yeah, well it seems like we get in a war every decade or so."

"Now if I may ask a question of my own, what is that mark you have on your hindquarters?"

"That would be my cutie mark, it's a mark that appears when you find out what you are good at in life."

"Yeah, although some are cooler than others, like mine!" Rainbow Dash added on and then showed me hers.

It was a bolt of rainbow lightning coming out of a rain cloud.

"What does yours mean?"

"It means I'm fast and I'm good on weather patrol."

"What exactly is that?"

"You know it's when we plan the weather for the day and make sure everything goes according to plan"

What? I feel as if someone broke me in half!

"Well the weather does everything on it's own where I'm from."

"That's Horrible!"

"It's not that bad! Sure I wish it would rain more often, but otherwise it's okay."

"Wh-whats that ring on your finger for? You weren't married back home were you? That is, if you would like to tell me." Fluttershy timidly asked me.I chuckled a little then answered.

"No, My mother gave me that ring, said is was special to the family for whatever reason."

"Do you like parties and cupcakes and pastries?"

"Yes, and particularly red velvet."

"Who is this God you were talking about earlier?" Twilight asked me after writing the Q&As down.

"Well, if I went into that we'd be in this hospital for a few more weeks then I would like, though I can let you borrow a bible, my Grandfather had tons of them seeing as he was a deacon."

"A bible?"

"Yeah, It's a long book all about the subject matter, I have a feeling you like books so that shouldn't be a problem for you."

Twilight smiled at this then , frowned.

"How do you know that?"

Shit. We can't let her know that we can red people as easily as she reads books.

Right,here let me take control for a sec.

"I recognize that new book smell on you, after all the books I've read in life it's hard to miss."

She blushed a bit at this and smiled awkwardly to her friends.

"Ahem, but I've noticed a drastic change in attitude with you, you're not bipolar are you?" Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow expression. Note how I said expression seeing as how she didn't have eyebrows.

"First off, no I am not, I was caught off guard earlier,secondly, I've noticed you are very observant.Judging by your cutie mark I'm going to say you're probably a jeweler."

"Wrong, I am a fashionista."

"So you strive to make your clothing as beautiful as gems?"

"No, I add gems to my clothing"

"WHAT?!?WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU BEDAZZLE WITH REAL GEMS?!?DON'T YOU KNOW HOW VALUABLE THOSE DAMNED THINGS ARE?"

Everyo- Everypony in the room shrank back at this except Dash.

"Hey, lay off her! What's your problem?"

I looked around the room and saw all the shocked faces in the room.

"I'm so sorry.It's just where I'm from , a diamond no bigger than a pea would be worth tens of thousands of dollars, possibly millions seeing as how rare they started getting recently."

They all nodded in understanding.

We'll have to make that up to Rarity, a unicorn would be a valuable ally.

agreed

"Can ya tell us sumore bout ya race?" AppleJack asked trying to change the subject.

"Well, my race are brilliant, yet at the same time completely and utterly heartless. There used to be a brilliant man named Albert Einstein had come up with the theory of relativity being E=MC squared or, energy is equal to mass times the speed of light squared had been warped and twisted by a man named Heisenberg to make a hydrogen bomb that was used to cause the death of millions. If you ever find out how to bring humans here, refrain from doing it at all costs and burn the research resulting is this.If you don't wish to trust me, you now have good reason why, or perhaps a very good reason to trust me seeing as how I was honest.Your choice."

Everyone had mixed reactions of what I said, from disgust to horror, all except Fluttershy.

"No, you are not like that! You told us this and I can see in your eyes you are not like those monsters." She then proceeded to hug me, as best she could seeing as I was in a cot,a hug which I happily returned,the rest soon followed in her hoofsteps.

"You, honestly told us this despite how horrible it was, thank you for being honest with us." Twilight said.

"I've still got my eye on you."Dash whispered in my ear.

"Well, I can't blame you" I said and gave the fakest maniacal smile I possibly could.