Name's Joe

Rainbow Dash gasped then yelled

"He's got canines!"

All of the,ridiculously fluffy,ponies backed off.

Real nice you cyan c*nt.You've just destroyed all our hard work!

Shut up Tex! Go back to the dark recessive area of our mind.

Screw yo-*pop*

"Humans don't have to have meat in our diet. We can substitute it with nuts and legumes.Now why don't you all sit down so we can continue this Q&A about humans."

"What else do we need to know?Humans are terrible, war,war,Big bomb,twisted ideas, don't bring them."Rainbow Dash griped.

"Perhaps I should have told you about the better half of humanity?"

It was then that I began to hear music,well I wouldn't call it music so much as an attempt at music,coming from a piano of sorts.

"Where's that music coming from?"

"Oh that, he comes in every week to entertain the sick, but no one has the heart to tell him he's tone deaf."Pinkie replied.

"Twilight, if you could get a nurse to bring me a wheelchair that would be very much appreciated, and Pinkie,could you ask him if I could play a song to demonstrate alien music?"

"Sure""Okie dokie lokie!"

By the time Twilight got back with the chair,the 'pianist' had given his reluctant approval for an alien to play on his piano.

I had the girls help me into my chair, and I rolled to the piano.

Time to teach these ponies a lesson in Beethoven.

As I began playing the music

I gave them a brief lesson on Beethoven.

"Ludwig Van Beethoven was one of histories greatest composer's, he was born in 1770, and died in 1827, by the 1800s, His hearing had massively deteriorated and he was nearly completely deaf. Ironically,most of his greatest,and most well known works came from this time period."

By the time I was finished, everypony that could began doing their equivalent to clapping by clopping their hooves together.

"Dang man, you should be in the equestrian orchestra." The black and white 'pianist' said.

"I wasn't even that good, they teach Earth children that song for beginners.I just really like that song and I thought it would be best to use here."

"Well either way it was good."

"Joseph, that was beautiful,whats it called?"Twilight asked.

"Fur Elise, Funny thing is, I heard he was not only nearly deaf, but inebriated at the time he wrote that, though that might just be an , is urban legend right for this?.Well, either way, the song is about chasing after the one you love and enjoying all the fun times you had with them, only for it to all end too soon."

I noticed Rarity crying on the far side of the room.I rolled over to her and asked,

"Who was it?"

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and her mascara running.

"My Grandmother,she's the one that taught me to sew,and she didn't even live long enough to find out it was my special talent."

"I'm sure wherever she is, she's very proud what you were able to do with her knowledge."

I then gave her the best hug I could seeing as how I was still in the wheelchair.

"Thank you, I think I'll be fine for now."

I sat up and began to roll towards the rest of the girls.

"You know I realized there's something I never asked."

"And what would that be?"Twilight asked.

"What was with that giant black horse thing?"

"That was Nightmare Moon, she is the split personality of Princess Luna brought up by being under appreciated for her night, and wished to bring eternal night. She was banished by being sealed within the moon by Princess Celestia, her older sister."

"That just brings up more questions, How did she plan to do that, how is that possible and what happened while I was knocked out?"

"Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, control the sun and the moon,magic, and we used the elements of harmony to remove Nightmare Moon from her psyche while she was passed out from shock due to you cutting of her horn.The Elements of Harmony are age old relics that are powered by, Kindness, Laughter, Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity and Magic. Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, AppleJack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Myself represent them,and in that order.We are the only living beings that can use them."

"So I'm assuming they move the sun and moon by magic right?."

"Yes, why? Do they move the Sun and Moon a different way on your planet?"

"No, they move on their own due to ,their mass and gravitational pull, the Earth is constantly spinning,like a top.After approximately 24 hours it makes a full rotation giving the illusion that the sun and moon are revolving around the Earth."

Twilight was eating this up and writing everything I said down.

"By the way,seeing as how I know you're going to ask,No, I don't know how I got here,all I remember is a tornado and banging my head.Honestly I'd think I was dead if I couldn't remember feeling pain when I broke my legs."

I then saw a nurse walk in with a clipboard in her teeth.

"Judging by her walking in I'm going to assume visiting hours are over."

"Actually, I'm here to see if you want to check out seeing as how you don't need very much treatment anymore,and you've been here a week."the nurse said with a familiar nasily voice.

Dear lord, she sounds just like Fran Drescher.

Hold on did she say we've been here a week ?!?

Sure enough, when I checked my digital watch it said,  Sat, 8-7-21 18:37.

"What do you know, My birthdays tomorrow."

"TOMORROW'SYOURBIRTHDAYOHMYGOSHTHISMEANSIGETTOPLAN4PARTYSFORYOU!"Pinkie said very quickly with only one breath.

YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL YOU FOOL!

SHIT SHIT SHIT.

"Pinkie calm down, I only want one party."

"Aw,your no fun Joe-Jack."

"Any ways, may I see that clipboard?"

I quickly signed my John Hancock,and I was surprised to find out they wrote in the same language,peculiar, very peculiar.

"Okay, Joseph Evans, I'll be right back with your stuff."

When she came back with my stuff, I was surprised to see my beretta was still there, ever to keep the ponies trust I said this.

"Twilight, I think you should keep a hold of this."I said and handed her my beretta.

"What is this exactly?"she asked.

"It's a weapon from my world that fires a projectile via a contained explosion.Think of a cannon you can hold in your hoof.

I think your Princess would probably be happier knowing an alien isn't running ,er,rolling around with a weapon but, I would like to keep my cane sword, I promised my Grandfather I'd keep Slica safe."

"Slica?"

"That's what he named her."

"Her?"

"His choice, not mine."

"By the way, the Princess told me on the off chance I deemed you safe I would be the one to look after you. Well, you seem safe enough seeing as how the only time you've attacked is when you were threatened.Let me lead the way to my house."

"Okay then"

Autobots,

Roll out!