Derpy Hooves sauntered out of the mail office, tired after a long day of working the mail beat. (is it called the mail beat? if not, what the fuck is it called exactly? Fucking google it. I won't) She tiredly walked home in the dark of the rising moon, taking in the feeling of the warm night air. She was too tired to notice something creep up behind her, carrying several packages. (Even though this figure was breathing heavily, sounding like Rick Ross in a marathon, he was walking) The figure closed ground quickly and was soon right behind the beloved Derpy. Before Derpy could say muffin she was slammed over the head with a large and heavy package. Her head was forced into the ground, leaving a large indentation on the ground.

"WHERE'S HARVEY DENT?" said the dark figure, the one and only masked hero of the night. BATMAN.

Derpy was given no chance to respond before Batman grabbed her head and lifted her off the ground by her throat. He pulled out a large muffin from his utility belt and smashed it into Derpy's throat, choking her. She coughed and sputtered, trying to force the obstruction from her throat.

Batman then removed a large bottle with colorful writing all over it. He uncapped the bottle and lifted it into the moonlight, letting the choking Derpy read what was on the front. There was the word bubbles on the front of the bottle, Derpy's favorite two things were being used against her. Batman poured the bottle down her throat and let the muffin and bubble liquid fill up this beloved mail pony's throat.

Se tried to scream out, but the muffin-bubble combo kept the scream in her throat. She teared up as Batman began pounding a large UPPS (United Pony Postal Service) box into her face. Her nose was smashed and cracked, her teeth fell out of their sockets, blood poured from her eyes and nose and mouth until a large puddle of blood pooled on the floor beneath her.

Batman pulled a pencil from his utility belt and stabbed Derpy in the thigh, causing her to gasp in pain. The gasp sucked the food/bubble combo into her lungs, choking her. Batman wasn't a killer, so he threw her to the ground and elbow dropped her stomach. She instantly coughed up all of the combo, along with the contents of her stomach. Derpy fell into unconsciousness as Batman got to his feet. He gave her a couple more kicks to the ribs and face before pulling the bat shovel from his utility belt. Batman dug into the soft earth quickly, covering up the bat-hole he had just made as he entered the earth. Soon there was no trace of Batman, minus the half-dead Derpy on the ground next to some loose dirt. Other than that.

He was a ghost.

Author's Note

GUESS WHO'S BACK BACK BACK!!!!

sorry mai peeps, I've been extremely busy, but I will now begin posting at more regular intervals. I am also extending an offer to anyone who would like to speak with me, THE GREAT SCOOTER DOODLE. Post a comment on my page thingy and I will tell u how to reach me on cloudsdale or skype. I'M BACK BITCHES AND IT FEELS GOOD