Luna was sitting on a bench in ponyville, enjoying the night that she had brought that night. She had brought out the full moon which added a glow over everything, not that she ever wanted to look at the moon again. It was cool and calm, the silence was deep and allowed Luna the luxury of self-observation. She was remembering how one of her subjects, Caramel, had approached her the other day asking to 'Go out', whatever that meant.

Luna was still mulling over the meaning to these words when she heard a sound from behind her. She turned to see the Dark Knight holding a large Nokia phone and a piece of paper.

"I BELIEVE IN THIS CITY!" Said the dark knight as he brought the small, yet unbreakable phone to the side of Luna's head.

She flew and landed a couple of feet away. Batman had closed the distance in a second and was beating Luna with the phone. He then placed the piece of paper against Luna's leg, sliding it quickly.

"PAPER CUT!" Yelled out the Dark Knight.

Luna cried out for assistance but nobody heard her. Batman gave her several more paper cuts before he reached into his utility belt and pulled out a baseball bat. He mercilessly beat Luna with the bat, causing the sound of bones breaking and the princess crying to echo throughout the empty town. He broke the bat over her body, tossing it away once he was done. Then, Batman reached for the piece of paper again, only this time pulling out a pen.

"SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE!!!!!" Yelled Batman, holding out the pen and paper to the princess. She was still somewhat conscious and did as he said.

"Now you have been given the ultimate punishment." said Batman before he jumped behind a tree, disappearing.

Luna was unsure of what he meant by that, but was in too much pain to wonder. Then, suddenly, the nokia phone Batman left behind rang. Luna answered it after a bit, wondering who it could be. An indionesian woman was on the other side of the phone. (is there even indonesia in Equestria?)

"Hello, Go packers!" said the woman, seeming to try and convince Luna she lived near her. "I have called to inform you that your new life-long contract with Vonage has been approved. Thank you for using Vonage."

Luna began to cry, realizing that her life was ruined.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Cried the princess into the night.

That night Luna banished herself to the moon to escape Vonage. Not like she got any worse reception on the moon than anywhere else.

She stayed there for eternity, always having Vonage. Forever.

Author's Note

Sorry it took so long to update. I've been busy with Reservoir Ponies. Shout out to VectorGames for giving me the phone idea.