The Courier in Equestria

"What are you doing? Let go of me! If you don't let go of me I'll scream rape in the most feminine voice your ears ever heard!" The mint green unicorn kept pulling him along by his fingers.

"Your gnna haf a gret tym!"

"Well could you atleast stop biting me you bitey mad pony!" He tried to shake his finger out of the pony's mouth.

"Furnnn." the pony let go of the Courier's hand.

"Well that's much better, so, uhh, what do I call you?"

"I'm Lyra," Lyra looked back at the Courier with a suggestive look. "but you can call me Sexy."

"Only when we're alone!"

"We are alone."

"Well then, where are we going Sexy?"

"C'mon Twi! It's over here!" Rainbow called called out to Twilight.

"I seriously doubt there's an alien courier hiding in the forest Dash." Rainbow Dash had had a hard time convincing Twilight to come with her at all.

"Believe me it's right over there, by the edge of the forest!" She pointed a hoof at where the Courier had been waiting.

"... There's nothing there Dash." Twilight said with a voice of boredom.

"What are you talkin' about it's right th- Hey were'd it go!"

"So, where are we going exactly?" The Courier had accepted that there was no way he was going to get out of his current predicament.

"To my friend Bon Bon's house."

"Where's that?"

"The centre of town."

"Do you really think that a 6 foot tall, dashingly handsom, chick magnet such as myself would go unoticed in a town full of multicoloured ponies?"

"No, which is why I'm taking you to Bon Bon's house which just happens to be right next to the centre of town!"

"You're not completely sane, are you?"

"The doctors at the hospital said my beliefs in humans were borderline obsessions, but if I bring a human to the centre of town they'll believe that I'm not crazy!"

"OR they could chase me outta town with flaming torches and pitchforks!"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

As they neared the town they could hear the sound of merchants in the marketplace advertising their many goods and services.

"C'mon get yer sweet, freshly picked, Sweet Apple Acres apples right here everypony!"

"Overpriced tomatoes! Get your overpriced tomatoes!"

"Today only! All flaming torches and pitchforks 75% off!"

Lyra and the Courier stopped walking.

"Come with me to Bon Bon's house she said! There won't be any flaming torches or pitchforks she said!"

"Aww c'mon! You can't back out now!"

"If there's one thing I learned in New Reno it's that you should always back out! Especially when it involves shooting a porno with an ugly girl."