The Practorian!!

Ding Ding I crack my eyes open, seeing Shining standing there with a triangle. Rolling off the bed I fall with a solid Thud. I slowly rise to my feet, standing on my tippy toes, I stretch my arms easily touching the ceiling I quickly bend over using my weight successfully to crack everything from my neck down to my feet.

I quickly throw on my clothes from yesterdays workout. Quietly following Shining out of my room, to the mess hall. I enter into the kitchen, quickly grabbing a fresh water melon, I sit down as I place the watermelon on the table, taking out my knife I begin cutting the watermelon into pieces.

Shining sat down across from me, with a frown. Using my knife as a skewer, I begin stabbing at the pieces of watermelon, Having to eat around my blade, so I don't cut myself.

Shining's eating some type of breakfast pastry, he keeps looking at me every time I stab a piece of watermelon

"Uh...You want to talk about it?" He asks.

"Talk about what?" I respond, viciously stabbing another piece.

"Why you left last night?"

"I left because I didn't want to eat meat in front you people" I say, spearing another piece.

"And that's why you're stabbing your watermelon.....and the table like that" He says massaging his forehead.

I look under the table to see my blade sticking an inch out 'Huh, maybe their is something wrong'

Sighing, I put my knife back in it sheath. Grabbing the last piece I eat while talking "I .nom nom nom, that's the reason I left"

He deadpans "You're an idiot, now say it again without the food in your mouth"

I look him directly in the eyes "I don't like 'love', that's the reason I left"

He stares slack-jawed, "You left cause you don't like 'love', what in Celestia's name is wrong with you, it's just love"

My gaze hardens "You're telling that to somepony who's never been loved...back"

His expression softens "Oh" he replies.

"Whatever let's stop this emo bullshit and get back to being men...and I guess stallion" I say, raising my eyebrow.

"What's emo? and yeah let's get back to being stallions"

"Fuck it, don't worry about it" I say, idly scratching my chin.

I hear the clack of talons on the floor, looking over I see Flo approaching the table. I hold a fist out showing my middle finger up in greeting "What does that mean?" She asks sitting next to me.

I'm dumbstruck "I don't actually remember what it means!!"

They both look at me "You forget what it means. Yet, you used it anyways?" Shining asks.

"Yea, that's pretty dumb" Flo adds.

I'm not paying attention. I'm just staring at my middle finger. 'How the fuck did I forget what the middle finger means'

My eyes light up for a moment "Wait it means...Fuck I lost it again.......That's right! It means 'fuck you' " I say smiling.

They look at each other, before looking back at me.

"What does fuck mean then?" Shining asks.

I facepalm so hard I almost break my nose again.

"What do you call sexual intercourse?"

"What?' They both ask.

"Sex?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

They shake their heads.

"Okay....How do you make babies?"

They both blush before answering "Rutting" "Mating"

"Okay, well Fucking is what we call rutting or mating, I guess.....Wait Flo what happens if I call a griffin, mate?"

"Well, she'll probably hit you in the face.... What does fuck you mean then?" She adds the last part blushing.

"Well.......I don't have a clue anymore" I reply confused. "I don't mean anything by it. It's just an old habit"

"Oh" she says. I swear she sounded sad.

Shaking my head I look at my watch "Alright, let's go play tag Shining. Bye Flo" I say, getting up.

I throw my plate with the others in a bin. Then walk through the doors going to the courtyard. I begin stretching.

Shining joins me a moment later, joining me in stretching.

"Same as last time Shining?" I ask, after finishing stretching.

He shrugs " Ya, unless you want to try something different"

I think about it running after Shining and trying to catch him 'I won't trick him twice, so I guess that rules out me chasing him for hours' I frown, scratching my chin.

I snap my fingers, gaining his attention "How well do you do you think the ponies of Canterlot will take to seeing me in the streets?"

He thinks about it for a second, then suddenly he shrugs giving me a weary smile "I guess we'll never know unless we try"

I laugh "Atta boy. Let's do some free running"

He gives me a quizzical look 'What's free running?"

I smile as I begin walking out of the courtyard "I'll show you. Just watch me and stick to the road....and do try to keep up"

                                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After showing Shining what free running was by running across the city, I ran through apartments, on top of roofs and everything else I had to. Shining was impressed to say the least. He told me that he was going to show the earth ponies and unicorns this, the pegasi didn't need to since they could literally fly over every obstacle.

We were on our way to the obstacle course talking about the equestrian army or lack of.

"So you don't have a standing army?"

"Well, we have the royal guard"

"That's not the same, they do what police did back on earth. What happens if you go to war, are you seriously just going to leave your cities guard-less? Or are you just going to be outnumbered in a fight by an enemy?"

"I...We....I don't know" He says downcast.

"Well better you guys fuck up now then when you're getting attacked"

"Come by my room tonight at 2100 hours, and we'll discuss military strategies"

We casually walk into the training courtyard. I see Flo exercising by herself. All the other ponies giving her a wide berth.

"Can I do the obstacle course with a partner?" I ask, turning to Shining.

"Yeah, though it's mainly done squads. Why?" He replies.

I smirk looking at Flo "I think I just found a partner" He looks to where I'm looking while smiling.

"Hey Flo, whatcha doing?" I ask, walking up to her and away from the Shining.

"Oh hey...49.. Leo I’m..50. Just doing wingups" She says, using her wings like arms doing push ups. She gets up wiping the sweat from her plumage. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to be my partner for the obstacle course" I say, sticking my hands in my pocket.

She lights up giving me wide beak smile "Sure I'd love to"

"Great" I say, turning and gesturing for her to follow me to the starting line, where Shining was waiting.

"Alright what are the rules for fliers Shining" I ask.

"They're not allowed to just fly, but they can use them for anything else"

I nod "Alright, cool I have an idea, and I don't think it's cheating" I say, going down on one knee, I continue "Right Flo get on my back and for God sake don't cut me"

"What?" She asks in confusion.

I turn to face her "Climb on my back talons on my shoulders, wrap your legs around my waist on my belt" I answer tugging on belt.

She obliges slowly getting on my shoulders "Like this" She ask sticking her head over my shoulder. She's now positioned upright, back paws wrapped on my sides, holding tightly on my belt, tail wrapped along my stomach. Her talons are gripping my shoulders, she's riding me high like a rucksack. Her wings are at head height with me, and her head is a foot above mine. Truthfully I feel more like a badass Banjo, from Banjo Kazooie, with Flo being Kazooie.

I jump up, getting a startled screech from her, she tightens her talons to hold me.

"Yup...Wow you're lighter than I thought you were"I say out loud.

Smack "Are you calling me fat?" She shrieks, after hitting me in the back of the head.

I rub my head where she hit me "Oww, no I meant you feel like you weigh nothing.....I actually feel lighter"

"....Oops, sorry and the reason we're light is because I’m making myself lighter, but we shouldn't be this light"

"How are you making yourself lighter?" I ask, looking up at her beak.

"Griffin Magic" She responds.

"Really, I thought only unicorns had magic"

"No" Shining says " Everypo..er everybody has natural magic, unicorns and alicorns are the only ones that can cast spells"

Flo continues "I know Griffins and Pegasi have flight magic, Earth ponies strength and earth magic, and that Dragons have elemental magic. I'm not positive about the other types of magic"

Hmmm everypony else has magic..everypony except me, I'll have to ask Ray about it or maybe Twilight'.

I shake my head "Alright Flo open your wings when I begin to fall"

"..."

"I can't see you nodding"

"Hee oops Yeah I understand"

"Good" I crouch down as far as possible. I spring up jumping as high as possible, I'm pretty sure I could have jumped over Ray, maybe even Celestia, I fall back to the ground slower than normal, I attribute that to having griffin wings.

"Wow, That. Is. Awesome" I shout "Do you think you can fly with me?"

I feel her beat her wings, we rise a few feet before she sets us down again.

"I could if we run off a cliff, but from standing like this we can only hover around. You're just too....long I can't pick up enough speed. Also we couldn't fly for very long"

I nod "Alright let's do this. Stay on my back the whole time. when we get to the wire just pull you're body as close to mine as possible"

"...oh yeah got it" I can only assume she tried nodding again.

I nod to Shining "Alright, Shining clear the field"

Alright everypony!" He yells "Please clear off, watch if you want to"

Again the ponies on the course look over at us, but this time they get excited when they see me.

I feel Flo shift on my back when the eyes fall on us. I look up at her "Nervous? She looks down and nods.

"Well don't be. Just concentrate on the course and you'll forget about them altogether" I say, smiling.

Shining turns back to us having successfully clearing the course "You two ready?"

"Yup" "I guess" We reply.

"Alright. Ready.Set.Go

I run to the first obstacle which is the flat beam, With Flo's magic I'm easily able to hop up onto it, using her wings to balance my landing, we cross it in five hop/glides. Using Flo's wings we glide across the distance from the beam to the first wall.

With a hop, skip and a jump we clear all the walls. I pick up my speed running at the 12 footer, I run half way up the wall, before grabbing the rope and pushing off the wall, with my momentum and Flo's wings we are able to glide to go all the way around the beam.

We angle our descent, I hit the ground running I dove using Flo's wings to glide under a quarter of the way, army crawling the rest of the way.

Launching to my feet, I begin picking up speed for the final jump. I jump high going in a dive to make it across, Flo corrects our flight at the end so I land back on my feet. I start running as fast as I can. I stop running as soon as make it passed the end line.

Looking to Shining for my time, I see him with the same dumb look as yesterday.

"You did it again.....You know what I'm not surprised. 2:11 you shaved 25 seconds off"

"Wait we beat the record Leo?" Flo asks.

"Yeah. We actually just broke the record I set yesterday" I say, shrugging as if it's no big deal "Give a human a reason to do something, and that something will be done or blown up. Humans are not naturally the strongest, fastest or deadliest thing on our planet we make up for it by using our heads or just being stubborn. We've created things to help us accomplish great things. Take war for instance, we started with sticks and stones and now we have the technology to conquer this world in less than a month. And trust me the only reason it would take a month would be because we would have to spread out....We could kill every thing on this planet in a few hours"

To say they looked horrified would be an understatement, they looked absolutely mortified.

"Could they seriously destroy our world in a day, couldn't the princesses stop that from happening" Shining asks hopefully.

Hope which I crush immediately "That all depends on how long your princesses can hold up, Canterlot would probably be the last to fall, unless Celestia could somehow absorb all the nuclear fusion going on in the bombs. Anyways let's not talk about this anymore" The looks I get from the ponies are amusing and slightly annoying, it's like they assume I'm just going to up and kill all of them.

Ignoring their looks I instead focus on running. I'm so focussed I barely notice Flo keeping pace along side of me. Leaving the courtyard I quickly find myself running on roofs towards the outer wall, I look over to my right to find that Flo is flying next to me.

I find that I'm quickly running out of roofs to run across. Seeing that I'll have nowhere to run I call out to her "Flo catch me" as I dive off the last roof.

I fall, it's only for a mere moment, but I feel the adrenaline pound through my veins, I feel a tug telling me that I'm not in free fall anymore.

"Are you crazy Leo. You could have fallen" She screams in my ear.

"I know..isn't it wonderful. HAHA, faster Flo faster. Fly over the wall" I say laughing "Wooohoo"

Flo angles us over the wall. We’re flying over the rolling hills when I spot something troubling. Something with four heads.

“Uh Flo that’s not what I think it is right?” I ask.

“What’s not?” She responds.

“THAT” I yell pointing in the distance.

Her reply cements my fear “Oh sweet Gryphonia.  What’s a hydra doing out of the swamp?”

“And are those ponies being chased by it!” She shrieks.

Sure enough I see four dots being chased by the hulking fours headed beast. Their moving fast but the hydra is slowly gaining on them.

“Damn Flo! We're going to have to help them” I say.

“You don’t have a weapon—I pull out my hunting knife—Ha what are you going to do land on it’s head and stab it”

“....” I don’t respond cause that was exactly what my plan consist of.

“You can’t be serious, you’ll barely even hurt it with that tooth pick”

“We have to do something. Just set me on a head, and fly around distracting it until the ponies can get away or somepony shows up to deal with this thing” I shout.

She dives at the hydra, aiming at a head. When we get close enough, she lets go of loose. I dig my knife into it’s head to stop me from falling off. This unfortunately has the side effect causing it to thrash it’s head around in pain.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh” I feel like a football being tossed around.

“FLO! WHY DID YOU LET ME DO THIS?!. THIS IS A STUPID IDEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” I scream whilst being flung around like a rag doll.

When I finally stop the violent swaying I realize the head is dead, and I’m drenched in blood. Also three giant heads looking at me with anger, annoyance and hunger.

What I want to say at the moment is ‘Who's next?’ but all I can do is throat up in my mouth and say “Oh Fuck!”

I’m waiting for the end when I hear a voice yell out.

“Never fear, Iron Will is here”

Looking up I see what I can only assume is a minotaur with a massive battleaxe, on the hydra back. I star in horror as he jumps up in the air and brings the axe down on one of the hydra’s head.

“NOOOO” I scream, but it’s too late the head and the minotaur land with a heavy ’Thud'

He turns around facing the hydra heads “Alright, who's next!” he yells pointing his battleaxe at the hydra.

“Fuck me sideways ” He turns and looks at me.

“YOU NEVER....!” I begin.

The stump starts shaking.

“EVER....!”

The stump start growing out into two new necks.

“EVER...!”

Two new heads form on the end of each neck.

“CUT OFF THE HEAD...!”

The two newly formed heads lean smiling at us.

“OF A MOTHERFUCKING hydra..!”I finish quietly.

“OH....” Is the only thing he’s able to say before the heads smash into where he was standing.

I look at the hydra defiantly before remembering a certain movie. I knew what needed to be done.

“EAT ME YOU SLIMY BASTARD" I scream jumping into the open maw off the hydra.

I hear Flo scream my name from outside.

I start stabbing the hydra in the throat “Learn to chew your food you giant multi-head FUCK!”

ROAAAR “I HOPE I GIVE YOU INDIGESTION!” It’s so weird like I’m being constantly squeezed by it's throat, but I slowly make my way to it’s combined stomach.

Splash I fall into the stomach juices.

“Wait where’s Iron”

SPLASH I look to where the mention minotaur just fell in.

We look at each other for what seems an eternity.

I raise my knife “I got a knife if you want to help me get out of here”

He blinks.

“....”

“...”

“Are we inside the hydra” He asks.

I nod.

“...” He gets up grabbing my knife in his massive hands.

I’ve never seen something so violent and destructive in my life....It's beautiful.

“Let me out! Let me out!!LET ME OUT!!!!!!” He roars, hacking through the stomach lining. Using a combination of my knife, his horn, and his hands we're able to tunnel our way out of the stomach. He disappears as I stop to listen.

Thump

Thump

I can hear the heart “Iron can you get to the heart?” I yell at him

“Iron Will, you eat. You, I defeat!” He yells back 'I guess too much iron in your blood is bad for your health'.

I'm calmly crawling after him down the tunnel Iron is currently carving through the hydra's abdomen, 'Wow that’s a lot of blood'.

Thud I stop when I don't hear the heart anymore. ’He did it. He found the heart!'

I pass what’s left of the heart, only to run into a furry blue ass.

“Have you found the edge yet?”

“Iron believes...Yes freedom!” He yells, as he finally cuts into the fresh air. I eagerly breath in the fresh air.

He jumps down from the hole, I follow suit, almost instantly getting tackled by a  crying, distressed Flo.

“I thought you were dead *Sniffle* you scared me so much. I’m never letting go of you aga....Eww you smell so bad” She says, letting go, backing away.

I shrug “Stomach acid” I walk over to the head I personally killed, ripping two teeth. A small one the size of my pinkie, the other the length of my hand.

I see Iron doing the same. I walk up to him “You did a pretty good job Iron”

He shrugs, handing me back my knife which is covered in gore, I put it back in it’s sheath as is seeing as my pants are covered in it also wiping it there wouldn’t even work.

“Not bad yourself hornless one”

“Names Leo and the reason I’m hornless is cause I ain’t a minotaur. I’m a human” I tell him.

He looks at the tooth I grabbed “Say human. What are you going to do with that tooth?”

I look down at it “I was going to see if I could get somebody could make it into a knife handle for me”

“Iron Will knows the way of the steel better than any pony” He says proudly.

“How much will that cost Will?” I inquire.

Iron fidgets “Iron Will can do it for free if you find lodging for Iron Will while Iron Will is in Canterlot ”

I think about it, throwing my hand up in a shake “You have a deal if Iron Will drop the third person act”

He shakes it “Deal”

Not seeing the ponies anywhere, I eagerly turn to Flo to find out if they got away.

“What happened after we got eaten?”

“Well....I flew around distracting the hydra and the ponies kept running I didn't watch them, being...affected by your deaths” she awkwardly coughs in her talon “That’s pretty much it I thought you two were goners”

I nod “Good, doing stupid things is my thing..and I guess Iron’s too” I say chuckling.

“You laugh at me I wra..” He starts.  “Oh shut the fuck up Iron that was a rookie mistake. Cutting the head off a fucking hydra." I say sadly shaking my head "What kind of minster slayer are you!? But I think we should be heading back. How long do you think it will take to get back Flo?”

“Only a couple of hours. We should be back by dinner I think” She says.

I look at the time and realize it’s almost 3pm. Wow, time flies when you’re having fun

Iron picks up his massive battleaxe swinging it onto his shoulder, and that’s when I notice it...He’s wearing a tie. I breakout laughing.

“What’s so funny Leo” Flo asks.

“He’s...He's wearing a fucking tie bahahahaha” I respond, clutching my sides in laughter.

“What’s wrong with my tie” He says grabbing hold of it.

“Nothing, It’s just humourous. In fact maybe I'll get a tie.... Except won't wear it in a fight I don’t want to be choked by it” I tell him matter of factly.

We start heading back to Canterlot. I see the sun setting in the direction we're headed I can only assume if somepony was behind us we would look pretty badass. Walking away from just killing a hydra from inside, into the sunset with a griffin flying on my left, and a minotaur on my right, covered in gore battleaxe over his shoulder, myself also covered in gore if I had one of my cigars I'd actually be smoking it.

Fortunately those four ponies we saved were actually watching us walk off into the sunset like utter badasses, because that's how the rumour of us killing the hydra spread.

                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We met a battalion of three company's: earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. They were marching in out in our direction. Shining Armor was leading the entire battalion, with three ponies leading each individual company.

Shining halted the company and signalled for what I assume would be his lieutenant. The four ponies trot up to us. The pegasus lieutenant Is a totally black stallion with a black and orange mane. The unicorn is a stallion of dark blue almost, black,with a dark blue and black. The earth pony is a mare of light gray with a dull yellow mane.

"Leo, where did you go? Who's the minotaur? and why do you smell so bad?" He asked, holding a hoof to his muzzle.

"Flying. Iron Will. Hydra" I tiredly say.

"You ran into the hydra!! How did you escape? Where is it?" He say panicked.

"I did more than run into it. Knife. Where ever hydra go when they die" I say again in a tired voice "Now if you'll kindly go away I'm starving"

"You killed the Hydra!! How?"

"Well we kinda gave it indigestion, when it ate us"

"You killed the hydra by being eaten by it and still survived?" He says amazed.

"Ya. So?"

"It's just amazing"

"Sir, if I could interrupt do you want us to take the units back to the barracks and dismiss them" Asks the pegasus stallion.

"Yes. Lieutenant Fiery Knight, you, Lieutenant Boulder Breaker, and Lieutenant Cobalt Shadow can double time them back to the barracks. I want those patrols list done by the end of the week also"

They salute before running back to their respected units, double timing it back to the castle. Shining walks with us and I tell him what happened with the hydra, how I killed one head, Iron completely severing another, how we got eaten, how Iron killed the hydra, and how we got out. When we got to the castle I asked Shining if he could get a room for Iron to stay in for awhile. He gladly said he would to thank Iron for killing the hydra before taking Iron down a hallway to the guest rooms.

Flo followed me to my room, I opened it to a very, angry looking Twilight.

"Where were you?, Leo you missed our study session....ack sweet Celestia what is that smell!!!" she starts coughing when she smells me.

I ignore her opting to just take off my clothes throwing them in the laundry hamper. My room has a small kitchen/dining/living room, small bathroom, and a single bedroom, but no washer and dryer. I ignore the staring I get from Flo, as I walk around naked.

I jump in the shower, putting it on scalding hot to get rid of the dried out hydra flesh. After scrubbing every inch of my body I work on my hair and beard, I run my hands through my hair and I feel it will soon be long enough to style it into my usual messy fohawk.

I towel myself off, then wrap it around my waist. Walking out of the bathroom I see Twilight sitting at the table and Flo lounging on the couch. I walk into my room and throw on my clean pant's and a shirt. I toss the towel into the hamper, taking a seat at the table I rest my head against the table top.

"So Leo where were you?" She repeats her earlier question.

I look over at Flo "You didn't tell her"

She shrugs.

I raise my face off the table an inch "Ahh fine I got eaten by a hydra, and Flo wouldn't give me a ride back so I had to walk"

Twilights face contort from anger to shock to concern "Are you okay, you're not hurt?" She asks jumping up to check on me.

I sit up, waving her off "Nah I'm fine. Me, Flo and Iron had it handled....Speaking of Flo. Flo this is Twilight Sparkle. Twilight this is Flo....Do you have a last name Flo?"

"Yeah it's Ironclaw" She says from the couch, rolling onto her back.

"Alrighty then. Twilight this is Flo Ironclaw"

"Hey" is all she says from the couch.

"Who's Iron"

"Oh Iron is a minotaur"

"Oh...Oh you mean Iron Will" She asks.

"Yeah, you know him"

"Yeah, he came to Ponyvile to do a assertiveness seminar. Fluttershy went to it"

"Oh and how did that work?"

"Let's just say that some people are still afraid of her'

"Really that bad?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"We call it the flutterage. It's something you never want to see" She shudders while answering.

"Hmm...Speaking of Fluttershy. Are your friends still here"

"No, they went back to Ponyville. You know their your friends too"

"...Theirs a difference between being friends and being friendly" I say coldly causing Twilight to cringe.

"But it doesn't mean I won't be your friend it just means you're going to have to earn it" I smile "Meow, let's get started on my crossbow"

She blinks looking confused "Did...Did you just meow?"

I recoil from her "Are you saying I sound like a cat"

"No..no I just thought you meowed" She hastily replies.

"Alright well let's just get back to making my crossbows"

I go into the finer detail of how a crossbow works. I'm slightly surprised when Twilight improves my ideas. I end up with two blueprints , one is for a two-handed compound crossbow, the stock is sporting a thumb loop, and trigger mechanism, along with broad head bolts. The other is for a highly advances one-handed recurved crossbow, with a special holster that collapses the limbs causing a small spring on the back to pull the string back to firing position. She also figured out a way to automatically reload a new bolt onto it when I place it in it's holster, along with bodkin bolts.

I ask Twilight if she knows somepony that can build this. She tells me she does know somepony in Canterlot that could make it so I tell her to get me one large crossbow and two of the smaller ones, and to make sure they are sanded and coated properly.

I invited Flo to join me for dinner which she agreed to quickly, now I was sitting down at the table after just ordering a caesar salad, with grilled chicken strips. At around the table in order was SA, Cadence, Celestia, Luna, Twilight,  Iron, me, and Flo.

"So Leo, I heard you had an exciting day, I hope nopony was hurt"  I look over at Celestia's warm smile.

"Ya nobody got hurt. I'm lucky it didn't chew its food I guess, or I'd probably be dead"

Cadence looked shocked "DEAD!! What is he talking about auntie?" She asks panicked.

"You know about the hydra"

"Yeah. Shining told me about it before he left to fight it"

"Shining never fought. Leo, the griffin Flo and the minotaur Iron Will killed it"

"Yeah it ate me and Iron" I add.

"WHAT!! Like as in the mouth and stomach?"

"Yup, if you thought they smell bad on the outside try being on the inside" I say mock waving my hand in front of my face "Even got these nice souvenirs" holding up the teeth for everyone to see "Iron here is going to make me a fighting knife"

I put the teeth away, when the food arrives. I eat my salad with gusto, since I didn't have anything to eat other then breakfast this morning. Flo got pasta, and Iron got an abnormally large bowl of... pea soup?!.

I finish first, letting loose a large 'belch'. A giggling Luna points her hoof at my face, which causes the rest of the table to look up and breakout laughing.

"What?" I say, causing them to double their laughter.

I freeze up, when Flo pecks me in the cheek.

"Wah, what was that for!?" I yell, causing everypony at the table to stop.

Flo recoils with a hurt look "You had a piece of lettuce on your face I just wanted to get it off"

After I'm able to settle down I apologize to Flo "Sorry, I kinda overacted'

"It's alright, I should probably have removed it with my claw"

Successfully killing the good mood. I decide to go back to my room "Alright, I'm going to leave. You still going to swing by my room Shining?"

"Yeah I'll be by in a bit" He informs me.

I nod leaving. I arrive back at my room without incident. I lay on my couch till I hear a knock to Shining and his three lieutenants. I am surprised but invite them in anyways.

"So can I get you something to drink before we begin" I ask.

They shake their head.

"Alright then, please sit at the table and we'll begin"

We all sit around my small table, 'I'm going to need some information before we begin

Shining starts by introducing me to his lieutenants "Leo these are my lieutenants: Fiery Knight, Boulder Breaker, and Cobalt Shadow"

I shake their hooves, before beginning "Alright, I need some information before I can help you. How do you conduct war here"

"What do you mean?" Asked Knight.

"If I had an army of humans attacking your city how would you defend it"

"We would just attack you" Says Boulder.

"So you would just run up to my army and attack it with swords"

Their nodding tells me everything I need to know.

I begin laughing "We'd cut down your entire army in seconds. How does your rank system work"

"You mean my captain rank?" Shining asks.

I nod.

"Well, when you join you're a private, after you finish guard training, you become a corporal, you become a sergeant after serving 10 years, you challenge the existing lieutenant and if you beat them then you become the new lieutenant, and Princess Celestia picks the captain of the guard" Shining tells me.

"Okay, that will work for guarding a city and Parading, but I suggest initiating a 'War Protocol Alpha"

"What's a protocol"

"War Protocol Alpha is if you get attacked without warning or if you're expecting an attack. Pretty much when your guard hears 'Code Red War Protocol Alpha has been initiated' they will know what to do and where to go."

"This is what will happen when WPA is activated. The captain of the guard will be promoted to general, the general will have one captain for each company, A company will be made up of platoons, a company may only have one platoon others may have up to fifty or more, I want each platoon to have one lieutenant, in those platoons will be squads which will consist of 4 -15 ponies in charge of those squads are sergeants. Does everypony get it"

They shake their head "Does anypony have paper" Shining gives me a piece of paper and a quill. I explain again making sure to include what the chain of command is.

"Oh I get it now" Says Shining "But we only have three companies right now"

"Yes. That's the next thing I want to talk about. By having three companies of just pegasi, unicorn or earth pony. You're lowering combat effectiveness. Pegasi flight could easily back up a bunch of slower grounded ponies. Or maybe having a unicorn to throw a blinding spell so a bunch of earth ponies can charge into a larger group of blinded enemies quickly turning the tide. Perphaps that earth pony just stopped an attack from a minotaur that just got past a unicorn magic.

These are the companies we need: Air, Infantry, Cavalry, Support. We can add more after I see some performance but for now we have a good backbone.

Air company is going to have two platoons: Bombers and Fighters. Bombers are going to use AOE spells and alternatives on the enemy forces, AOE meaning Area Of Effect, alternatives are if I decide to make human weapons of war. Fighters are to support bombers attacking winged enemies. Fighters can be either unicorn pulled in chariots or just pegasi. If no winged enemies are on the battlefield Fighters are to join Bombers in attacking ground units.

Infantry company is to be a heavy ground force consisting of mainly earth ponies with unicorn support. Infantry will repel any and all attacking forces that make it to the city. I want one unicorn that know defensive spells, to be placed in each squad.

Cavalry company is to be a light versatile force containing all three types. They will be the first company deployed. They will be tasked with; Recon, Sabotage, or Flanking. They are the fist response they will do what's necessary in any situation.

The last but not the least is Support company. They are a non-combat oriented company, they are responsible for transporting/caring for the wounded, moving supplies, delivering messages on the battlefield, cooking meals, and taking care of the camp. Some of those will only be needed if we are attacking a neighbouring country.

Feel free to change the names of the companies. Also  I would name platoons and number squads. I would make sure to order everything Shining possibly have a personal assistant to help keep you organized. Because you don't want to forget something important, cause that kills people. Are there any questions?"

They all raise their hoofs in the air, I go over explain everything for another hour making sure they understand. Then I go on to explain some tactic that would work and that if they have anymore ideas to tell Shining who will inform me. When we're finished they're all amazed at how much I know. I inform them that it's all practically common sense where I come from.

They finally leave at 11. I take off my pants and shirt, getting ready for bed 'I'm going to have to get a toothbrush.' I go to lie down when I'm blinded by a flash. Opening my eyes I find I'm not in my room anymore, there are three chairs two are occupied by Celestia and Luna, a third is empty. I take a seat, waiting for them to tell me why I'm here.

"Hello Leo, you're probably wondering why you're here. Too be honest Shining Armor told me what you said about human being able to conquer all of Equestria in a day. Is it true?"

I sigh, thinking of the easiest way to describe it "Celestia do you know how the sun works?"

She nods "Of course but what does that...NO TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T. TELL ME HUMANS HAVEN'T DONE THAT" She says hyper ventilating the last part in a frantic voice, worrying Luna.

"Sister, what is it? What is wrong?"

"Luna, simply the sun works through a process called nuclear fusion, I'm not going to get in-depth on what that involves cause I'm not a scientist. But the easiest way to describe it is we harnessed the same power that a sun uses. Just think of miniature suns exploding all over your world"

I'm better at describing things than I thought cause she goes paler, than the pale horse of death.

"Celestia you should know that we don't just use the power of the atom for destruction, we also use it for clean energy"

Celestia stops hyperventilating, and Luna's pigment returns.

"Where are we by the way? I don't see any windows or doors"

"We are currently in the folds of the world, I don't know if you'd understand if I told you the full truth"

"That's cool. Do you come here often?" I ask, curious.

Luna hmmpfs "Not as much as I'd like. Tia is always hogging it"

That makes me laugh, for goddess they just want to have some fun and be treated like normal

"Is there anything else Celestia, or I'm I free to go?"

"There is one thing I ask of you, Leo. Please don't tell anypony else about this or any other human weapons"

"Alright I already told Twilight about crossbows, but their not at all technologically advanced"

"Thank you Leo your weapons of war should never fall into anyponies hoof. I'm going to send you back now"

I breath in deeply, heavily sighing I tell her the truth "Celestia, sometimes I think that even humans shouldn't have them. I have no problem not spreading them around here"

With that I start glowing, in a flash of light I'm standing back in my room. I collapse onto my bed, crawling under the sheets.

I fall asleep dreaming about being turned into a griffin.

Hey, everyone! The name is Cobalt  Shadow! I am new to Fiery Knight's team (so far it is only him and I). I am his Editing Chef (He told me to say that. In his eyes everyone already has an editing chief but no one has an editing chef!) I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I know the author worked hard on it and I enjoyed it immensely. Don't forget to review and comment! The next chapter will be out soon-ish I hope xD