Trumpets

Chapter 10

   It was a good nap up until I was forced awake by the purple unicorn Twilight. "Wake up, Trumpets! We need to go somewhere!"

   My mind woke from one of the first time in three years a dream that was not nightmare. I groaned and ignored her. She persisted. "Come on!" se used her magic to lift me up out of the bed.

   A bit scared at being about 6 feet of the ground, I finally gave in. "Fine, fine! I'm up!" She abruptly dropped me, but luckily it was over the bed. "Were are we going?" I asked.

   "It's a surprise!" was her answer.

   "I despise surprises."

   "Well, you won't on this one."

   I. Despise. Surprises. Guess it came with my parents surprising me with their death. No, I don't blame them for what happened, but it was one hell of a surprise.

   It was only three days away from my birthday, to...

   She walked and I followed. Out the door of the library inside a tree that, by all logical means, should be fire-wood due to it being hollowed out. But, instead, it's in perfect health. Aside from the living beings inside of it.

   We walked and arrived at a place a 6 year old child would drool over. It was a fucking house- sized Gingerbread House.

   No, I'm not making this shit up. Every part of it looked completely edible.

   As we walked towards the door, I saw the lights that were just on quickly turned off. 'Great, so that pink pony did throw me a party. Greeeeaaaaat.'

   Twilight, now standing a good 10 feet behind me, had a big stupid smile on her face. 'Ugh, they are horrible at hiding it.' the streets, I just realized, were overly quiet. 'Did she invite everyone in fucking town? Are you kidding me?' I let out a sigh and squint open the door to be greeted with a 'Surprise!' and a party room decorated like a 12 year old and a big banner saying 'Welcome to Ponyville!'

   For fucks sake...

   Oh, and EVERYONE was there. Anyone I spared a look at in my day here was here. Even that weird brown one that reminds me a Doctor Who.

   "Were ya surprised? Were ya? Were ya? Were ya?" the pink pony appropriately named Pinkie said in her unmistakable hyperactive voice. "I got everypony in Ponyville here! Do you like it?"

   Me, not being one to upset the ladies- no matter what species they are- replied with, "Yes, Pinkie Pie. I was surprised. And I do like it."

   She seemed satisfied and the music began, which was oddly enough like Electro music, which I think is the worse thing since dubstep. It's like two blenders gang-banging a toaster.

   I immediately walk over to where the food was. Then, Twilight and an Orange pony with a blonde mane and a cowboy hat came up to me. "Trumpets, this is Applejack! Applejack, Trumpets!"

   The new pony (to me) held out a hoof. "Plesuah tah meet ya!" she said in a VERY strong southern accent.

   I just nod as I shake her good an take the whole cake and stuff my face with it. Fuck manners. They can go fuck Themselves. I don't know how else to eat in this horrid body. "Trumpets, are you healthy?" Twilight asked. She, finally, noticed my body.

   "Oh, I'm fine. Just malnutritious, you know." I say as I eat more of this cake, which tastes amazing.

   "Why are you not in a hospital? That seems major!"

   "It took you this long to notice," I said. She didn't respond.

   "Ah don't see how ya can be mal-noo-trish-uhs," Applejack added, pronouncing every syllable in malnutritious, "When you eat like that."

   "You mean this isn't low fat?!? Oh dear, what ever can I do! I'm going to loose my PERFECT figure!" I say to her with extreme sarcasm.

   "It doesn't look so perfect to me..." Twilight said. 'Man, do these ponies not understand sarcasm?'

   Well, Applejack did. She gave me the stare girls give you and trotted away.

   'Ugh, I need some beer...'

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  "What do you mean you don't know what beer is?" I nearly scream to Pinkie.

   "I've never heard of it before! Oh, is it yummy? What does it taste like? Cherries? Yum! That'd taste really good! Oh, oh! Maybe it tastes like cake!"

   I groaned as I got away from Pinkie before it's too late. So, apparently, they don't know what alcohol is here. I am PISSED. The only way I can survive this little girls dream world is by drinking as much beer as it takes to make this whole world interesting.

   Man, I would love a Jäger Bomb now...

   I go into a pouty mood and, like before, I take my place in a chair on the side of the dance floor so I can watch these ponies flail about and have what their doing be called dancing. It was funny. I hated dancing back home, and this makes me think even the worse dancers were amazing.

   As I watch, I notice a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane that was covering most of her face cowering in a chair beside me. 'Must be Fluttershy. Better not give her a heart attack,' I think as I get up to move. She seemed startled at that. 'Note to self: Do not hang out with Fluutershy. She is probably afraid of her own shadow.'

   The party raged on and Twilight came up to be with a note in her telekinesis magic shit. "It's from Princess Celeatia. It said for your eyes only."

   I grabbed it and read what it said.

        Dear Trumpets,

           Luna and I will be able to assist you in your 'problem' within the week. Hold on there. We will send a letter when we can.

                                          Celestia

   I noticed how she didn't sign it 'Princess Celestia.' 'How unprofessional!'

   I crumpled it up and threw it on te ground. Not that I cared. Twilight didn't see it, so I didn't hear anything about it.

   The party died down and ponies left and Twilight, I, and her friends were the only ones left. I was correct that that pony cowering in the chair was Fluttershy. "I can help you clean up, Pinkie darling," Rarity said to Pinkie.

   "Thanks, Rarity!"

   "I'll take Fluttershy home," added Rainbow Dash. 'Don't need X-Ray vision to know what's going on there.'

   "Ah guess ah could help ya clean up," Applejack said.

   "I think I'm just going back. It's getting late." Twilight said. "Bye!" she started walking and I followed suit. There were goodbyes and such as me and Twilight left and headed to the library. "So, how did you like the party?" Twilight asked.

   "In all honesty, Twilight, I hated it. I don't like social gatherings and it felt awkward for me. Besides, I never was around any pony," yea, I have to say that instead of anybody, "When I grew up. I was all alone." I shrugged, which was barely visible in this pony body. " I could've changed it, but I didn't."

   She seemed shocked. "Why?"

   I used my favorite phrase and I don't care if it's out of context. "Sometimes, you just gotta watch it crash."

   "But it you know you can change it, you don't have to watch it crash!"

  "Sometimes, change is not mandatory."

  I have no idea what I'm talking about. I figure it'll be good to act wise.

   "But sometimes it is needed."

   Man, I am not good at this...

   I don't counter. She is right. But, whatever. It was mostly a made up story. Yes, I was homeless, but I couldn't change it.

   We walked home in silence. When we arrived, I quickly go up stairs and isolate myself in my temperature room. I close the door and hope on the bed and sleep.

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   I wake up the next morning, deep in thoughts. I despised this world so far,  but I'm far better off here. I know the princess   Wouldn't kill me unless I killed on of her own. I had immunity due I me being the first reported kind of this world.

   But then I realize that, no matter how better off I'd be here, I am the only one of my kind here. I can't marry, and I'd never do any I the sorts with a pony. I'm going to be lonely.

   unless I stay a pony...

   No, I won't do that. I have a zest for opposable thumbs. I live being an le to lift things.

   And I love being able to play my trumpet.

   I keep my trumpet to the night-table on the side of the bed. I haven't figured out how to play it yet in this body, and I doubt I will learn.

   I just can't wait till I get turned back into my one of a kind human self.